Chapter Seventeen
GAVIN
I took Monday off. I wanted to have a day to myself to chill and hang out with Mike a little bit before Vinny came home. I enjoyed my weekend with Bethany, and even though I didn’t plan on having sex with her, I was glad that it happened. I felt like now that we had gotten that out of the way, we could ease into the relationship and get rid of some of the giddiness that came with new couples. I could tell she was worried about how things would go between us after we had sex, so before I left her this weekend, I let her know that she was the only woman I was interested in and she didn’t have to worry about me testing the waters anymore. It was a load off her shoulders, as well as mine. With that, I still couldn’t shake Karen out of the back of my mind. I hated to admit that, if she was willing, I might have to give it another shot, especially with my new mentality. But to me, that was just a pipe dream. Karen was so far beyond me that it would take a lifetime to get back to where we were, and I accepted that.
The clock had just tipped past 2 pm when my doorbell rang. Mike stood on the other side with a 24 pack of beers. “What’s up, brother? Today is a good day to just chill and have a few drinks, huh?”
He walked past me as I stood to the side, “Yeah, I guess so. Vinny is still out with Karen, and he won’t be back until later, so I decided to take the day off myself. Hang out a little bit.”
“Shit, there ain’t nothing wrong with that. Nothing wrong with that at all.”
I closed the front door as he walked into the kitchen. I heard the refrigerator door and shut, followed by some cabinet doors. Some bags of chips rustled before they popped open, and seconds later, Mike came into the front room with beer cans and chips. He sat them on the living room table, then put his foot up. I shook my head at him. “Jesus, Gavin,” he said after a deep exhale, “Really? Are you going to make me put my fuckin’ foot down? Seriously?”
“Fine. Just don’t get that dirt and shit on my glass. I just cleaned that shit before you got here.”
“Damn it, man. You may as well put a fuckin’ apron on and a skimpy ass dress and call it a day. Shit. I need my house cleaned too, while you’re at it.” He laughed.
“Fuck you, man.”
“Yeah, yeah, I love you, too. Hey, so you saw Karen, huh? How’d she look? Is she still smokin’ hot?”
“Yeah, she still looks good. She seems like she has slimmed down a bit, but she still has a nice shape. She wears glasses now, but all that does is make her look like a sexy ass substitute teacher or some shit.” I popped the can of bear open and took a swig.
“Damn, man. Hey, now Karen was gorgeous. I haven’t seen this new gal of yours, but if I had to tell you to settle down with somebody, it would be her. Damn. She had it all. Looks, a fuckin’ career, a god damned future, you know? She wouldn’t have been just sittin’ around waiting for your ass to hand her some money. She’d get it on her own.”
“Yeah, I know. She seemed to be doing pretty well for herself. She was out here on business and wanted to take Vinny for a few days, so you know, I had to let him go.” I took another swig of beer as I thought about what could have been between me and Karen. It was a slow rate of torture for me, but Mike didn’t make it any better by reminding me what I missed out on. “But shit, that’s over now, you know? I’ve moved on; she’s moved on. That’s where I am going to leave it. No looking back.”
“No looking back, huh?”
I glared at him. “You heard me. We are done.”
Mike downed his whole can of beer in seconds, then crushed it in his hand and tossed it to the floor. Afterward, he let out a long belch that seemed like it should’ve rattled the earth beneath us. “Man, look, you can tell me whatever the hell you want to, but you’re my best friend, and I’ve known you long enough to realize when you are full of shit, and right now, Gavin, you are full of fuckin’ shit. You know good and god damned well if Karen said she wanted to work it out with you, you’d hop to it without a doubt.”
“Nah, man. Nah. I am happy with Bethany. I really am. She showed me that she cares for me and Vinny. She cares for me in a way that Karen never did. Well,” I thought for a second, “I wouldn’t say, ‘never,’ but I’ll just say I think she forgot how.”
“Yeah, that’s because of all the bullshit you two did to each other. Boy, I’ll tell ya,” he walked to the kitchen to grab another beer but continued to speak loud enough for me to hear him, “Bitterness will fuck a lot of shit up. A whole lot. And in the end, it’ll have you wondering what the fuck happened and why it happened so quick.” He walked back into the front room and sat down on the couch. The can popped and fizzed when he snapped the lid open. “But um, this Bethany. When are you going to bring her around so I can get a good look at her?”
“Shit. Around you? I don’t know if she is ready for you.”
“Ready for me? What the fuck is that supposed to mean, Gavin?”
I laughed, then finished my brew. “You know what it means. You have a tendency to say what is on your mind without thinking about the repercussions. The last thing I need is for you to say something disrespectful, or even worse, bring up some shit about Karen. I have to ease her into you, Mike. You’re like an acquired taste. Like this fuckin’ can of beer. Too much of you, and shit can get ugly, real quick.”
“Oh, that’s cute. Comparing me to a can of beer.” He belched. “Well, fuck it. I’ll be that can of beer, I don’t care.” He took another long drink out of his can, nearly emptying it on one gulp. “So, you two had a lot of time together alone this weekend. Did you finally,” he nudged me with his arm, “you know.”
I shook my head. “Yes, man, we did it, alright.”
“Whooo-hooo! Yeah, that’s my boy!” he put his arm around me. Drops of his beer splashed onto my clothing. “How was it? Was it worth the wait? Tell me something! Shit! How long has it been since you two started dating?”
“It was good, I’ll admit it. It was good, and to be honest, I would’ve waited much longer if I knew it was going to be like that. She was tight. Active. A freak. I mean, there was nothing off limits to her, you know? If anything would separate her from Karen, it would be that. Karen wasn’t as feisty in the bedroom, but I could immediately tell that Bethany was. It was nice. From start to finish.”
“Hell yeah, man. That’s it! That’s what I’m talkin’ bout!”
Mike made me feel like we were freshmen in college, talking about what we did at a frat party the previous night. I didn’t see Bethany the way he painted her, though. She wasn’t just some one-night stand or anything like that. I saw a future with her. The only thing that stood in the way was our pasts. Her past with her ex-boyfriend and my past with Karen. I didn’t know what was going to happen between us in the future and how that would affect our relationship, but for right now, everything was good. Mike stayed at my place for another two hours until he had to run some errands.
As soon as he left, I got a phone call from Karen. “Hey, Gavin. I am on my way back with Vinny. Are you at home?”
“Yes, I am home.”
“Alright. We will be there shortly.”
“Okay.”
I felt a slight buzz from the beer, but it wasn’t anything that would cause me to become reckless. I could maintain myself well, especially with only a few beers under my belt. I sat in the front room, flipping through channels until about 7 pm. The doorbell rang, and with that, I went to the door. Karen stood on the other side, dressed in a black mini-skirt with a white blouse and white high heels. A smile danced across my face when I saw her. Vinny wrapped his arms around her waist as she leaned down and kissed him on the top of his head. “I’m going to miss you, Mom.”
“Aw. I am too, Vinny.”
He sighed, then walked past me into the house. “Hey, son.”
“Hey, Dad.”
He gave me a hug, then walked back to his room. My attention turned back towards Karen. “He didn’t look too happy to see me.”
She fixed her glasses, “No, that’s not it. We just have fun when we are together. We enjoy our time, Gavin.”
“I understand.”
“I think we should work on something that would allow me to keep him during the school year; then he could visit you during the summer. I mean, just switch it up for a year or so.”
“Um, I don’t know. I mean, I wouldn’t want him switching back and forth from school to school each year. I mean, we can talk about it more, but for right now, I think he should stay planted. At least until he gets into middle school. Maybe we can revisit the topic then.”
“Okay.” She looked away from me. I stole glimpses of her body while she wasn’t paying attention. I shook my head to get the sexual thoughts out of my mind just as she turned to face me. “So, I think I should get going. I have one more meeting at the airport before I head back to Philadelphia.”
“Yeah, yeah, sure thing. Um. Well, it was good seeing you, Karen.” I extended my hand to her. She watched it hang adjacently between us before she finally made eye-contact with me.
Her hand connected with mine. Her touch was soft and warm as a crescent smile escaped the corner of her mouth, “You as well, Gavin. Maybe, the next time I come back, we can all hang out together. I mean, if you’re okay with that.”
“Oh. Um, yeah. Yeah, I think that would be okay. I wouldn’t have a problem with it at all.”
“Good. Well, I’ll see you around. Um, call me if you need anything.”
“Yeah. Okay.”
She walked away, ending the awkward moment of kindness that floated between us like a mass of confusion. She switched her behind as she walked back to her car. I leaned against the doorframe, admiring everything I saw. Once she got into the car, I closed the front door. Vinny stood just to my side. “Whoa, kid! You scared me! How long have you been standing there?”
“Not that long.”
I looked at my watch. “Did you eat?”
“Yeah, not much, though.”
“Alright. Let’s get in here and find you something to eat so we can get you ready for bed.” I put my arm around him as we walked to the kitchen, “So, tell me about the time you spent with your mom. I know you had fun.”
As he spoke, I imagined what it would have been like if I was with them. Before long, I realized that in my mind, I was with Bethany, but in my heart, Karen still had a home. Just when I thought I was ready to move on, my past snatched me into a headlock and made it feel impossible to happen.