Chapter Three
KYLE
My big, silent father slipped my foot through my jeans and helped me pull them up. Even if I was able to talk like a normal person, I wouldn’t be able to put into words how humiliating this is. When they were up enough for me to grab them, he lifted me under my arms and held onto me while I finished pulling them up and buttoning them. To be twenty-seven and have to get dressed under the watchful eye of your father is a special kind of torture. Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful as hell that he’s here. If not for him, Sarah would be the one doing all of this and that would really just be way too much to take.
“Thank you,” I said. It sounded more like “Ank u,” but he got the point. He sat me down in the wheelchair and ruffled my hair like he did when I was twelve – careful not to touch the bald spot where the staples still were. I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and shuddered. That therapist that came to see me was so pretty… God, I hope her ugly, male co-worker was going to be the one I worked with and not her.
“I wasn’t able to get another day off…” My dad felt guilty about going back to work. The week he’d taken off while I was sick was the most time he’d gone without working for as long as I could remember. Working was how he recharged his soul, I think – at least, since my mother abandoned all of us when I was only a year old. Somehow, Dad managed to care for a baby and a toddler and we all survived.
Mom showed back up with two new kids when I was about eight and Sarah was ten. My father didn’t say much, he never did, but he let us see her. Sarah told her off. She was always wise for her years, and she told our mother that day that anyone can make a baby. Just because she made babies, that didn’t make her a mother. She’d stormed out of the house after that and gone to look for my dad. I stayed for a while because I felt guilty, but the woman felt like a stranger to me and the next time she wanted to see us, Sarah and I both refused.
“It’s okay, Dad,” or as he probably heard it, “I okay.”
He handed me my ball cap and I gratefully put it on. Covering up the staples on my head at least makes me feel more human. “Kyle!” Dad and I looked at each other, and his lips curled up on the edges. Sarah was here to take me to therapy – that would be fun. Mostly, I just felt sorry for the people who worked in the clinic.
“In here,” Dad called out to her. She looked frantic when she came in.
“Kimber is sick.” Kimber was my five-year-old niece. She was one of those kids that manage to completely melt your heart every time she smiles. They hadn’t let me see her since I got home and I really missed her.
“What’s wrong?” Dad asked.
“It’s just the flu, I think, but I had to keep her home from school. Mrs. Brown from next door is watching her now, but she can’t stay. I called Michael, but he’s out at the jobsite and he’s stretched really thin without you…”
“It’s okay,” I told her. I said it really slowly and it almost sounded natural.
While I was busy being proud of myself she said, “Greg is taking you.”
“What?”
“I’m sorry, Kyle, but he’s been really sweet. He was at your bedside every day. He’s been doing whatever he can to help. He loves you… Tell him, Dad.”
My poor dad once again looked like he didn’t want to get involved. Instead of singing Greg’s praises to me he said, “I can call off work.” Shit! I knew he didn’t want to do that. It was bad enough he had me living here and had to do every fucking thing for me. He needed work for his own peace of mind.
“No,” I forced out.
“I’m sorry, Kyle,” Sarah said again. I rolled my eyes at her. I know it’s not her fault, but the last person I wanted to spend my day with was Greg.
“Anybody home?” Speaking of…he just let himself in my father’s front door like maybe he still belongs here.
“We’re in here, Greg,” my traitor sister told him. She kissed my forehead and whispered, “Be good.” Then, I watched as she gave my father a peck and even stopped in the doorway and kissed Greg on the cheek. What is it with this guy and the women in my life?
“Hey, buddy! You look great!” Fuck you. I said it in my head, but hopefully the look on my face conveyed the sentiment. “Mr. Cloud,” he said, giving my dad a chin tilt. Dad was like me – he knew how to hold a grudge. He kept his dark eyes on Greg’s face until Greg finally had to turn away. Thanks, Dad.
“I’ll see you tonight, Kyle. I left lunch in the microwave, and I’ll pick something up for dinner when I get off.” I can make it around the house in my wheelchair pretty well so that was my saving grace in the afternoons – they let me actually stay home alone like a grown-up.
“Thanks, Dad.”
Once he was gone, I was left alone with Greg. “So, are you ready?”
I nodded, and he started to grab the handles of the chair. I used my arms and rolled myself through the bedroom door and across the living room. He rushed up ahead of me and opened the front door. I wheeled out and down the sidewalk towards his car. When I got there, unfortunately, there was nothing else I could do but wait and let him help me. He opened the door, put his arms under mine, and helped me get to my feet. Then, he pivoted me so that I could lower down into the seat of his new Mustang. Sarah must have given him lessons. If I weren’t still pissed at him, I’d be impressed.
Thankfully, he didn’t try to talk to me on the way to the clinic. He helped me out again when we got there and because we had to cross a busy street, I had to let him push me. He rolled me in and took it upon himself to tell the girl at the desk my name. I guess that was a good thing since she probably wouldn’t understand me, but once again, it still pissed me off.
While we waited, I looked around the lobby. Most of the people there were elderly. There was one kid who was maybe fourteen there with his parents. He was in a wheelchair and he had some kind of tube coming out of his stomach and attached to an IV pole on the back of the chair. I averted my eyes when he saw me looking.
That’s when the door opened and Amber stepped out. Today, she was wearing a pair of green scrubs and the color made her green eyes pop. Her dark hair looked soft and shiny laying down across her shoulders. I wanted to run my fingers through it. She saw me, smiled, and then her smile faltered when she looked next to me at Greg. I looked at him and he was grinning. Of course.
“Hi, Kyle,” she said. “Are you ready?”
I nodded and felt Greg jump up and grab hold of the chair. Amber gave him a look of…annoyance, maybe? Maybe I just wanted her to be annoyed with him. It made me happy. “I can take him back, Greg, thank you.”
Greg? How does she know his name? I felt her propel me through the door and into a big room that looked like a gym. She parked me at a table and then she came around front where I could see her. Damn, she’s pretty. She reached down and brought up a wipe-off board with those magnetic alphabet letters that everyone spells things on their refrigerators with when they’re kids. “We’re going to start with some sounds,” she said. I had to tear my eyes away from her green ones and force myself to focus on the board. This wasn’t going to be easy.
*******
Amber led me through sounds and she even touched my throat a few times to feel my vocal cords as I tried hard to enunciate them. Part of me felt like an idiot and hated that a woman like her was seeing me like this and the other part felt lucky as hell that I’d get to spend three days a week with her. She smiled a lot and she was encouraging – and even in a shapeless pair of scrubs it was easy for me to see how cute and curvy she was. When we finished with that, we moved on to bigger things. She used a children’s book and had me reading passages of it out loud. Things like, There’s a Wocket in my Pocket. Just when I thought things couldn’t get any more humiliating, I did in fact have a “wocket” in the front of my pants. Thank God for the table.
After a few books, she announced that was it for today. “I’m not going to walk?” I waited and hoped she understood me. She did.
“Not today,” she told me with an empathetic look. “We’re going to give you another week and see how much of your strength comes back before we start pushing you too hard. We’ll work on speech this week.” I nodded and looked forward to the day when I got to lean on her body as she helped me walk. She stood up and went around behind my chair. After taking the brakes off, she pushed me over to the door of the lobby. “You have it from here?” she came around in front of me and asked.
I nodded again. “Thanks.”
She smiled. “You’re welcome. I’ll see you on Wednesday.” She pushed the door open and held it while I went through. I got a whiff of her perfume as I rolled by…damn she smells good enough to eat. I could see Greg’s face, and his eyes were on my therapist. I’ll be damned if he was going to have this one. I used my arms to do a little wheelie in the chair and then I spun it around so I would be facing her. She was gone.
“Nice, man,” I heard Greg say. “You want to get some lunch?”