Chapter Seven
KYLE
I woke up Wednesday morning aching to see Amber. I got up out of bed and instead of just sitting down in the wheelchair; I pushed it out into the living room. I could see Dad in the kitchen making breakfast. “Hey, Dad.”
He turned around and looked at me. What passed as a happy smile for my dad was a mildly amused one for others, but I knew the difference. “Well, look at you.”
I grinned. I was proud of myself. “Yep, I’ll be ready for that 5K by next week.”
He smiled again and said, “Don’t over-do it.”
“I won’t.” I looked at the clock and realized it was after seven. “Hey, why are you still here?” He usually left for work at six-thirty.
He made a face and said, “Come and sit down for a minute.” I wasn’t sure I wanted to hear what I had to sit down for, but I did as he asked. He poured me a cup of coffee and sat it in front of me. Then he sat down with his and said, “Your mother called last night.”
I felt the stirrings of old anger in my belly every time anyone mentioned her. “What did she want?”
“She ran into Michael the other day and I guess he mentioned you being sick…”
“Shit.”
“Ah, you know how Michael is. He just wasn’t thinking. Anyways, she’s still in town. She leaves this afternoon and she’d like to see you.”
“No.”
“Kyle, you know that I’ve always left that choice to you and your sister. You have a right to be angry with her. But I just want you to be sure. Your illness is just proof that we never know what’s going to happen from one day to the next.”
I’ve never told anyone, but my biggest argument with having anything to do with my mother is that I’ll forget how angry I am with her. She deserves my anger and Sarah’s, and even twenty-six years later, I hate the thought of letting her off the hook. “Are the kids with her?” I noticed that when I’m tired or stressed it gets even harder for me to form my words. I wondered if she’d even be able to understand me.
“I reckon.”
“Will you be here?”
He looked at his watch. “I can be.”
I’m twenty-seven years old. I can do this on my own. “No, Dad, go to work.”
“I don’t mind, son.”
“I know you don’t, Dad. That’s good enough. Go to work.”
He nodded. He had to be worn out from all of that talking. I laughed to myself at that. “What?” he said.
“Nothing. I love you, Dad.”
He looked uncomfortable, but God bless him, he said, “I love you, too, son.”
*******
My mother and my thirteen- and fourteen-year-old step-siblings Brenda and Reece showed up about an hour after my dad left. As soon as I opened the door, she threw herself into me and began to cry. So fucking dramatic. I looked over her shoulder at Brenda and Reece, they looked embarrassed. “Mom…can’t breathe.”
She stood up and wiped at her face with the back of her hand. “I’m sorry. Oh, Kyle, I’m so sorry.” I rolled back from the door and said,
“Come in…I’m…not dying.” They followed me in, and I looked at the kids who I hadn’t seen in at least four years. “You guys got…big.”
Brenda smiled, and Reece rolled his eyes. “I’m glad you’re okay,” Brenda said shyly.
I smiled at her. “Me, too. Sit.”
My mother sat down on the couch and reached for my hand. I wanted to pull away, but I kept my father’s words in my head and I let her take it. “How are you?” she said.
“I’m okay. I’m doing therapy.”
“And they’re sure it wasn’t cancer?”
“Yes.”
“They got it all?”
“Yes.”
“Do they know what caused it?”
“No.”
“Kyle, I’m just so glad you’re okay. Are you alright here with your father? Do you need anything?”
I raised an eyebrow. I mustered all of my strength and from the time I opened my mouth until the time I finished the snide sentence, fifteen minutes passed. “I’ve…been…okay with my father for twenty…six….years.” Her face looked like I slapped her and I felt instantly guilty, but why should I? What kind of woman abandons her kids?
She looked over at Reece and Brenda and said, “Would you two mind waiting outside for a minute?” Brenda looked like she was ready to cry, and Reese rolled his eyes again.
“Come on, the same old soap opera is on in here,” he said as he looked at his sister.
“Bye, Kyle,” Brenda said. She’s sweet and she’s my little sister and I should feel something more for her than I do, but I don’t. I wonder if that makes me a bad person.
“Bye, Brenda. Bye, Reece.” Reece didn’t acknowledge me. I didn’t hold it against him. I remember what it was like to be fourteen.
When they were gone my mother said, “You’ve said it yourself, Kyle – it’s been twenty-six years. I was twenty-one years old. The difference between twenty-one and forty-seven is a whole world. I’m not that selfish, scared young girl any longer and I wish that some day before I die that you and your sister will realize that. I’ve lived in my own personal hell all of these years for what I did to you both. If there was anything I could do to make it up to you, I would.”
“There’s not.”
She was blinking back tears again. I’ve seen them more times than I can count. They don’t mean anything coming from her. “I’m sorry.”
“Okay.”
“Will you call me if you need anything?”
“Probably not.” She stood up and picked up her purse. She looked like she was going to say something else, but she changed her mind and headed for the door. Before she got there it was pushed open and Greg framed the doorway. Another person I really don’t want to see.
“Hey there, Miss… What’s your name now?”
“Brown,” my mother said with a sniffle. “Hello, Greg.” Mom and Greg had met on two of her other guilt visits. She turned to look at me one last time before she left.
When she was gone Greg said, “If you’re in a forgiving mood-”
“I’m not,” I interrupted. “Are you ready to go?”
“Yeah, I’m ready.”
*******
I tried to get back the mood I was in when I woke up this morning, but my mother and my former best friend had both ruined it. Hopefully, seeing Amber would do it for me. Greg parked the car in front of the clinic, so I pushed the chair inside. The lady that was at the counter a lot saw me come in and said, “Well, look at you after only two weeks. I’m impressed.”
I smiled. “Thank you.”
“I’ll let Amber know you’re here.”
“Thanks.” Just the sound of her name sent little jolts through my body. I’d barely sat down when she called for me. I got behind the chair again and pushed it over to the door. I was already smiling – until I saw her face. “Amber…your face?”
She smiled and then winced. Her forehead was bruised and had a spot that she’d tried to cover with make-up and her hair, and her right eye was black. “I slipped in the bathroom,” she said. “Come on back. It looks like you’re ready for the parallel bars.”
I followed her back, but I couldn’t stop thinking about that gash on her head. “Amber,” she turned to face me and I put my hand out and gently touched her forehead. She closed her eyes for just a second before she pulled back. “Are you sure?”
“Am I sure what, Kyle?”
“You’re okay?”
She nodded. “Let’s get to work,” she said. We started with the basic leg exercises and then we switched it up and did some speech therapy. As the session went on, both of our moods got lighter. After the speech therapy, we went to the parallel bars. She had me practice lifting my right leg and making it move with the left. I had to concentrate hard on it and even then it would only scrape along the floor about an inch at a time. It felt heavier than the other leg.
“Not as easy as it looks,” I told her. It was about five feet from start to finish. I’d taken three steps and I still had about four and a half feet to go. She smiled. Even bruised up, she was gorgeous.
“No, it’s not, but you’re doing great. I don’t expect you to do the whole length today.”
“I bet I could do it with a little more incentive,” I said, feeling brave all of a sudden. Before I got sick I was kind of a cocky S.O.B. I never had any trouble asking a woman out. I’d always assumed she would say yes. But brain surgery and recovery can definitely hurt a guy’s confidence.
“Incentive? Like a candy bar if you make it to the end?”
“I don’t eat candy.”
“Oh, well what then?”
I took another step. “Dinner?”
“You want me to buy you dinner?” I laughed and took another step. My fucking leg felt like it weighed a hundred pounds.
“No…I’ll buy…you just eat…with me.”
“Oh, like a date?”
Another step, I was almost halfway there. “Yeah.”
“I’m sorry, I don’t date my patients.” She was killing me. I took another step.
“Okay…no date. Just…celebration.” I was sweating as I took my next step.
“Where would this ‘celebration’ take place?”
“Abacus?”
She laughed. I took another step and estimated I had about five more to go. “Abacus is kind of expensive for a celebration. It’s more of a date place.”
“Oh…McDonalds?”
She laughed again. “Okay, tell you what. You pick up that foot on each one of the next four or five steps to the end and Abacus it is.”
Shit. “Okay.” I stopped talking and poured everything I had into it. I even blocked out the fact that she was watching me with those incredibly sexy green eyes. It took me a good fifteen minutes, but I did it! I looked up at Amber. She was clapping. I was cocky enough to try and take a bow and nearly fell on my face. She caught me, and I suddenly found myself with the most beautiful creature on earth in my arms. I lost my mind a little bit – I couldn’t help it. I brought my lips down and I kissed her. She didn’t move and if I had to swear to it in a court of law, she kissed me back. Then, she pulled her head away and gave me one of those looks Sarah reserves for when I’ve done something bad. I just grinned. I kissed her.