Chapter 23

Ryan

Before I went to Sara’s house, I stopped off at the general store and was able to pull together enough ingredients for a halfway decent dinner for the two of us. It was a really good thing I had spent most of my childhood throwing together nonmatching ingredients and making something that was halfway nutritious and not terrifying to eat. I knew she would appreciate it no matter how it turned out because she was the kind of girl who truly believed it was the thought that counted in situations like that. Still, I wished I had been able to figure out where the grocery store was, so I could really cook her something nice. I wanted to impress Sara for some reason, and I knew money and flashy things wouldn’t do it. She was down-to-earth and responded more to the little things, like cooking dinner, than any extravagant gift I could buy her. I really couldn’t explain what about her made me want her to be impressed by me, but I had decided I was going to go with the flow on this one. Plus, I was just plain excited to see the girl and had been thinking about her all day, counting down the hours until I could meet her at her house.

I drove the SUV up in front of the house and got out, going to the passenger side and grabbing the bags out. I shut the door and smiled at my reflection, feeling the butterflies coming back. I turned and whistled, walking excitedly up to her door, making sure not squish any of the groceries in the bags. I rang the doorbell and looked around, happy to see no dead animals lurking in her driveway. When she opened the door, I turned, smiling widely.

“Hey,” I said, my face dropping a bit when I realized there was definitely something wrong.

I ignored the look, figuring she could have had a really long day at work. When I had talked to her earlier, she sounded incredibly busy, and she was probably just tired. I bent down and kissed her on the cheek, feeling her immediately stiffen. I opened my eyes and pulled away slowly, feeling the reaction and taking notice. I wasn’t used to seeing her like this, blank stare in her eyes, a cold demeanor toward me. Immediately, I went on high alert, expecting to hear about whatever it was very soon. Until then, though, I was going to act like I hadn’t noticed a thing. She stepped to the side, and I walked into the house, smiling at her. I walked straight back into the kitchen and set the bags down on the counter and started to pull out the food and sort it into piles.

I could hear her walk into the room and stand there in front of me, but I tried not to meet her gaze. I had come to a revelation about her today, and I really didn’t want anything to ruin it. I had a feeling, though, from the way she had her arms crossed in front of her, I wasn’t getting out of it without a confrontation.

“What are you doing?” she asked coldly.

“I’m going to cook your dinner,” I smiled cheerfully. “I don’t know if you’ll like everything, but if you trust me, I think you’ll find I’m pretty talented.”

I laughed to myself and looked up when I didn’t hear a peep from her. She stood there staring at me, and for a moment, I really thought she was going to stop me. But, she turned, not saying a word and walking over to the kitchen table and sat down. I went through the kitchen pulling out the pots and pans. I got the water boiling, the pasta in there cooking, and started the meat sauce. The smell was amazing. Once that was rolling on its own, I wiped my hands and walked over to the table, pulling out the chair and sitting down in front of her. Sara was just sitting there, looking down at her phone, not saying a word. I cleared my throat and sat back, waiting for her to initiate a conversation. When she didn’t, though, I knew I was going to have to bite the bullet and ask her what was going on.

“Sara,” I said, reaching my hand out and touching her arm. “What’s wrong?”

She looked over at my hand and then slowly raised her head, staring at me as if I had two heads. I retracted my hand very slowly and put it in my lap, sitting up straight in the chair. From the look on her face, I instantly knew it was way worse than I had originally thought. Whatever it was, it wasn’t looking good for me either.

“Okay,” I said. “It is obvious something I should know about, and I’m definitely not picking up on anything right this second. Can you give me a hint?”

She didn’t say a word, didn’t even crack a smile at my humor. She reached down to the table and pulled up the picture of us kissing and slid it across to me. I sighed and hung my head, figuring she would eventually bring it up.

“I saw it,” I said. “I found out about it from a group of journalists I was interviewing with today. Honestly, I knew you might be a little upset, but I really didn’t think that much of it. The articles by CNN and Newsweek and all the major publications talk about you in a very positive light.”

I had been in the news plenty of times, so many, in fact, that I rarely even noticed when something came out about me. The only reason I had noticed that was because we had been on high alert ever since the Natasha thing. Sometimes, paparazzi followed me around. It was part of my life, and I had explained that to Sara, not that it was her fault. I thought that all the way out in Central Oregon wouldn’t be something that was worth the big-time reporters’ time, but apparently, from the look of the picture, I had been definitely wrong.

“I’m sorry, Sara,” I said. “I’m sorry if you’re uncomfortable with the photo. I would have never taken you there if I thought there was any chance the press would pick up on us being together. You have to know I would never put you in a situation like that on purpose, especially after you told me how you feel about your privacy. I’ve talked to my PR people. I made an express wish to the press in front of me to please let me have some privacy, and now I know that, apparently, there isn’t any place too remote for them. We’ll definitely try harder next time to avoid the press altogether.”

She pulled the phone back across the table and looked down at the screen. I could tell she was thinking, and I really hoped it was for the better. She took a deep breath and looked back up at me.

“I don’t think there will be a next time,” she said coldly.

“What?” I said, sitting up. “You don’t mean that. It was just one picture.”

“Today, at work, I had a woman come in claiming her dog was sick,” she said. “Turned out the woman was really a journalist trying to get close to me. She wanted to know about us, what we were to each other. I was angry, so I told her it was none of her business. But then she asked me how I felt about your latest scandal, and I was perplexed. So, after she was gone, I did some research of my own, and I figured out what she was talking about. What I found out shook me to the core, and I realized the little story you told me about your ex-girlfriend was total bullshit.”

Immediately, my stomach dropped, and I felt my heart shudder in my chest. She had found the story about Natasha and the Russians. Not only had that story almost killed my company, it now looked like it was going to be my and Sara’s complete demise. I knew I had to at least try to explain. I couldn’t just let it go.

“Look, I know those stories look bad, but when I told you about Natasha, I didn’t want to get all crazy into the Russian oligarchy, the money, and all of that,” I said. “Natasha only said those things because she was mad about the breakup.”

“Don’t you understand anything?” she said, shaking her head. “It’s not about the scandal, and really it has nothing to do with the actual scandal. I know you aren’t working with the Russians. It’s about more than that. It’s about who you are as a man. I’m upset about the way you treated Natasha and all the women who came before her. I’m a simple woman. I told you that from the very start. I’m a hometown girl who has a simple life and likes it that way. I’m not ready or interested in a sophisticated billionaire who uses women like they’re toys and tosses them away when he gets bored.”

“Sara,” I said feeling hurt by her words. “That’s not at all what happened with Natasha, and that is definitely not what’s happening between the two of us. You have been there with me this whole time, and you’ve seen the bond and connection you and I have. You can’t really believe I would do something like that to you, that I could fake those kinds of feelings and affections for a woman.”

“Usually, in my life, I base everything on actions and not words,” she said. “But when you lie to me about something important, something that ultimately made me feel comfortable enough to open up to you about my own relationships, it definitely makes me not want to trust anything about you. No words, no emotions, no actions seem real to me at this point. How would I ever be able to look you in the eye and actually trust you again?”

“Sara, please, I know it seems like that now, but I swear it wasn’t,” I said. “Give me a chance to prove it, to make all of this up to you.”

“No,” she said, shaking her head. “I don’t want to live like that, and I don’t want to live in the public eye like that. I already told you that from the beginning, that I wasn’t cut out for a life in the media like other women might be. That’s just not me. Besides, you’re going back to New York City soon, right? It’s not like you’re going to settle down in Bonanza, be a small-town billionaire or anything. We might as well give into the inevitable now and stop dragging this through the mud.”

“I’m not ready,” I said, shaking my head. “I don’t want to end this. It’s too important to me. You’re too important.”

“It was bound to happen anyway,” she said. “We both knew that. We knew it from the beginning. I think you should just leave. I appreciate the dinner and everything, but I’m not hungry.”

She stood up and walked over to the island, and I followed her, looking at the food bubbling on the stove. I wanted to rush over to her, pull her into my arms, and never let her go. I wanted her to see how much I cared about her, but as I took a step forward, she turned away and switched off the burners. I nodded my head, getting the hint. She wasn’t going to reconsider this, and it was probably best that I leave. I reached over and grabbed my keys, stopping for a moment to look back at her and see her turn her face away from me. I hung my head and left the house, so disappointed that I could barely think. This was not at all how this ending was supposed to go.