Chapter 28

Ryan

I stumbled back a bit and leaned against the island in the kitchen. Sara’s words were like a hard blow to the chest, and I could feel the ache in my heart by just hearing them. She wanted him gone, not to help solve the problem but to leave town. I didn’t get her the van to make her want me back, but somewhere in the back of my mind, I thought it would help the situation. I couldn’t have been more wrong. Even after the gift, she was not interested in me sticking around town at all. She didn’t see a future with me, or at least she was still so angry, she wouldn’t even consider it. I couldn’t believe it was how she wanted it to really be. I knew I couldn’t stay in Bonanza forever. I had a company and a life back in New York City. It was where I was born and raised and probably where I would die one day. Still, it would have been nice if she had at least thought about it, maybe even asked me to stay there for her, but instead, she was blaming the whole thing on me and telling me I needed to leave.

I wanted to give her what she wanted. I wanted her to be safe, but looking down into her eyes, I couldn’t bring myself to end it like that. Me leaving was not a solution to the problem. It was only giving Janson exactly what he wanted, and I wasn’t willing to sacrifice all the emotion and all the connection I had with Sara because he wanted to be a crazy son of a bitch.

“You’re important to me,” I said, calming my tone. “Whether you want to believe me or not, it’s the truth. You’ve become one of the most important people in my life. I care about you deeply, and I want to protect you from everything bad in the world. If you think I can just get up and walk away hoping it will work, you’re crazy. I can’t leave here thinking I’m leaving you in danger. You may think you know this guy, that you know what he’s capable of, but you were just as shocked to see that elk as I was, maybe even more than me, because I’m looking at this situation from the outside. The choice you’re giving me isn’t a choice at all. There’s no way I can walk away and not know what kind of situation I’m leaving you in.”

I looked around the room for a minute, thinking about what to say next. I knew I was taking a chance on this, and I knew she was really adamant about her life there in Bonanza, but something was going to have to give. If we couldn’t go to anyone for help, then we would have to come up with another way. Then, it occurred to me that maybe the answer was him leaving, but maybe it wasn’t him leaving alone.

“I am going to give you a real choice,” I said. “Something that’s actually an option for this situation.”

“Okay,” she sighed with irritation. “What’s your choice, then?”

“Come back to New York City with me,” I said. “Stay with me, just long enough for Janson to move on to someone or something else. I know you don’t see yourself in the city, but it isn’t forever. You don’t want to wake up and find yourself the next person on the list to be dropped in your own driveway.”

“He wouldn’t hurt me like that,” she said, shaking her head. “I have a business to run here in Bonanza.”

“I know,” I said. “But everyone’s entitled to a vacation, especially you. You work harder than anyone I’ve ever met, and you never slow down. When’s the last time you actually took a vacation?”

“The bed and breakfast,” she said.

“That was one extra day off,” I said. “I mean a real vacation.”

“Never,” she said, staring at me. “I have never taken a real vacation.”

“See? It would be perfect. You can stay in my penthouse, in the spare bedroom if you want, see the sights, relax, and enjoy yourself,” I said. “When things have settled down, and Janson has turned his attention elsewhere, you can come right back. Your business will be right here waiting for you.”

“I don’t know,” she said.

“Sara,” I said, walking forward and wrapping my hands around her arms. “It’s a really good option.”

I could tell by the look on her face that the offer confused her, that she didn’t know what she wanted when it came to me or the situation. She pulled back from me, and I let go that time, following her over to the kitchen table and sitting down beside her. She was staring off into the distance, a pained look on her face.

“I can’t believe this is your solution,” she said. “That you want me to go back to New York City with you. You do remember that I broke up with you, right? That I told you we couldn’t be together, that you needed to forget about me, that you needed to go home and take care of your life and stop worrying so much about mine.”

“That’s impossible for me to do,” I said quietly.

“You lied to me and not just about something small,” she said. “How am I supposed to trust you with anything? I can’t. That’s the thing. I have no idea what other crazy secrets you’re hiding, and you expect me to leave my home, go all the way across the country with you, and hope for the best? I don’t know where I stand a better chance, there or with crazy Janson.”

I took a deep breath, feeling the daggers slicing into my heart. Her words were sharp and painful, and even more so because they were true. I had lied to her, I had kept secrets from her, and I had not been honest about the man I used to be. I’d spent so much time trying to defend myself that I didn’t see that fact until right then and there. I couldn’t argue with her on those facts anymore. All I could do was try to move forward and show her I wasn’t the bad guy she thought I was and that the man in those papers didn’t exist anymore.

“I understand what you’re saying,” I said, hating what I was going to say next. “I want you to be safe, and even though you don’t believe it, I care deeply for you. To prove that to you, I want you to come back with me as my guest only, like someone I’m putting up at the house for a little while, and I promise not to lay a hand on you.”

She scoffed, chuckling to herself and shaking her head. She didn’t believe me, and I knew it was going to happen that way. She based everything on actions, not words, but we were running out of time, and I didn’t have the opportunity to show her I was serious. Slowly, she stopped shaking her head and looked down at her hands. I could tell she was actually thinking about my proposal and not completely shutting me out. I had to count that as at least a small victory in the grand scheme of things. She hadn’t softened up at all up to that point, and I didn’t want to continue to push her any further. I sat back in the chair and looked around the kitchen.

“You know what?” I said. “You never got to eat the dinner I made the other night.”

I pushed my chair back and walked over into the kitchen. I opened the cabinets, looking through, picking out small things here and there. Then, I went over to the fridge and did the same thing, cobbling together ingredients to make something to eat. She probably hadn’t eaten dinner, and I needed something to lighten up the mood a little. I wanted her to think about what I was asking, to take a step back and think about it.

“What are you doing?” she asked from the table.

I stopped and put everything together in one spot before turning around and looking at her. She raised her eyebrows and crossed her hands over her chest with an attitude. I smiled at her and held back a small chuckle.

“I want you to go down the hall, take a hot shower, take some time to yourself, and leave me here to cook something for dinner,” I said. “I can almost guarantee you haven’t eaten anything today.”

She opened her mouth to say something but shut it again, looking down at the table and tapping her foot up and down. I waited for a moment, unsure whether she was going to fight me or kick me out. Either way, she didn’t look happy with me ordering her around. To my shock and amazement, she pushed back from the table and walked out of the kitchen and up the stairs. She actually did what I asked her to do, and she didn’t fight me on it. I pressed my lips together and nodded my head, surprised it had actually worked. She was one of the most stubborn women I knew, but for some reason, she had given in. Maybe she just wanted a shower, but maybe she was starting to loosen up to the idea of having me around. Whatever the reason, I was glad she hadn’t lashed out at me at that moment.

I turned back around and started to put the ingredients together. I looked back through the cabinets and found the cookware. I was starting to know her kitchen like the back of my hand, and I had never actually completed a full meal in it yet. It felt good to be there with her, to take care of her again, to protect her, even if she was fighting me tooth and nail on it. As I cooked, I started to think about the best pitch I could make to her to get her to agree to my plan. I knew it was going to be a struggle, and she was never going to just give in. It had to be the pitch of a lifetime because not only did her safety depend on it but so did the chance to get her to trust me again.

It was the “Get Sara to the Penthouse” project, and it was probably one of the most challenging projects I had ever undertaken. It was amazing to me that I could write code, build apps, build technology, come up with specifics for an entire green energy program, but tackling Sara and getting her back to New York seemed to be the hardest thing I’d ever had to figure out. She was a tricky girl, and she would see right through any bullshit I tried to lay out for her. My best option was to think of a plan that was based on nothing but the cold, hard truth. This was a huge deal for me, something that might determine my happiness, her happiness, and her safety. I had gone into meetings for deals in the past, some I lost and some I won. This deal, though, it was the most important one I had ever faced. This was the one deal I had to close.