Chapter 27

Sara

I was sitting there holding my tea mug tightly in my hands, shaking wildly. My emotions were all over the place, and I couldn’t get a clear picture in my head of what was happening. Seeing Ryan again, being given my fondest wish in the form of a mobile vet clinic, that was all positive, but what happened next had sent me for a loop. Seeing that poor murdered animal and knowing someone put it there, it was all too much, not to mention the fact that whoever did it was still walking around out there. I knew exactly who it was too. There was no longer any doubt in my mind. It was fucking Janson and that damn sidekick of his. It was an impossible situation, and I had no idea what I was supposed to do. Things were escalating, and I had no idea how to control any of it.

Janson had always been a terrible boyfriend, but it had taken me a while to see it. He had constantly put me down, telling me how much worse I was than other women, intimidating me, scaring me, and just not being there like a boyfriend should. If he hated me so much, then why wouldn’t he just let me go? I jumped slightly as Ryan pushed back his chair and stood up, taking his mug to the sink and rinsing it out. When he walked back around the island, he put his hand to his face and began to pace back and forth across the kitchen floor. He lowered his hand down to his side and balled up his fists, his jaw tight. I could tell he was agitated, that he couldn’t deal with the thought of these things happening. He looked like he had something to say, something he knew I might not want to hear. At that point, though, there was no reason to pussyfoot around things. He needed to say whatever was on his mind and get it over with.

Finally, after several minutes of back and forth, he turned to me and walked over, putting his hands on my shoulders and turning my chair toward him. His hands were warm, and I secretly relished the contact we were having. I really missed being touched by him, held by him, and protected by him. I knew I shouldn’t feel that way, or maybe shouldn’t wasn’t the right term, more like couldn’t feel that way. I needed to keep my resolve, stay strong in the fact that no matter how sweet he was being or how nice I thought he was, he was a liar and a manipulator.

“What?” I said looking up at him, waiting for him to say something.

“I know you don’t want to hear this, but it has got to be that asshole Janson,” he said.

I closed my eyes and tilted my head down toward my lap. I knew he was right, and I knew that he had known that all along, but it stung to hear him say it. I didn’t know whether to be embarrassed, depressed, scared, or all of the above, so I stayed silent for a moment. Janson had been causing chaos in my life for so long, and then he’d started in on Ryan. No matter how mad I was at him, I still felt bad for that fact. He didn’t deserve to take on a situation that had nothing to do with him and everything to do with my apparent terrible taste in men and my poor judgment of character. I knew Janson was nuts, but I didn’t realize he would stoop to the stalking level like he had done.

“What if we circumnavigate the system,” he said.

“What do you mean?”

“Go over Janson’s head,” he replied. “Go straight to the state police and make a report, maybe even get a restraining order or something.”

I shook my head.

“That won’t work,” I said. “Janson is buddies with most of the state cops around here, and the ones he isn’t friends with know not to mess with him. Besides, the state ones bring power behind them, and that’s the last thing I want to do, give him more power than he already has. The sad truth is, he set himself up really good to do pretty much whatever the hell he wants. He’s the most powerful man in the city. It isn’t the elders or the mayor in charge. It’s him with that shiny yellow badge and that pistol on his hip. From the looks of it, he’s taking that power to a whole new level, and he knows no one will do anything about it. I’ve dealt with this since he became sheriff, and it’ll continue to go on like that probably until he gets shot or retires.”

“That’s an option,” he growled.

“I hope you mean retire,” I said.

“There has to be someone out there who can help in this situation,” he said. “There’s no way that the man has that much control. What about the FBI?”

I looked at him and rolled my eyes, shaking my head and looking away. I didn’t know whether to laugh at him or scoff. From the look in his eyes, he was dead serious about what he was saying.

“Really?” I said. “You actually think the FBI really cares about a dead elk in my driveway? Sure, I expect them to drop their investigations into homegrown terrorism and the war on drugs and bounce on over here to take care of a Podunk sheriff on a power trip.”

I laughed and stood up, walking over to the stove to start the water again and make another cup of tea. I filled the teapot back up and held up his mug, offering him another cup. He shook his head, lost in his thoughts. I had to admit, his persistence and thought process on how to fix this was actually kind of endearing and adorable. He was hell-bent on stopping the crazy sheriff from taking over the town like he was in some old western movie. Except this was real life, and there really was a dead elk with its guts spilled down my driveway outside right now.

“There really isn’t a point in discussing this,” I said. “You’re just going to keep going in circles, racking your brain and coming up empty-handed every single time. I’ve been there and done that with this man. He has the power, the control, and he has it sewn up really tight. It’s quite obvious, and I know I don’t need to tell you, but I’m going to say it anyway, Janson is an asshole.”

“Yes, he fucking is,” Ryan growled, making me smirk.

“But,” I said, turning toward him. “He is the head asshole in charge, which makes this whole thing a hell of a lot more complicated than some normal stalker or crazy person.”

“I know that, but at the same time, you cannot be expected to live with the harassment like that,” he said. “There has to be some way to get to him, some way around his control, and someone who can help us stop him from being a complete menace to society. If he’s doing it to you, what makes you think he won’t do it to someone else you care about?”

I reached for the teapot and poured water over my new tea bag, listening to him go on and on about it. As the tea seeped out of the bag and whirled around the glass, I started to feel an anxiety bubbling up inside of me. I knew everything he was telling me, but that didn’t mean I was holding back some secret answer from him. I was as lost on the subject as he was.

“I don’t know what you expect me to do,” I said. “Please, tell me what I should be doing.”

I turned back to the glass and poured my sugar in, stirring it slowly. I was starting to get really frustrated with how hard he was pushing me on this. I got it. I was in a bad situation, but going over and over it wasn’t going to help. I had accepted all of this long before Ryan came to town. Janson was going to do whatever Janson wanted to do, and there was no changing that fact, bullying him into submission, or changing his mind about it. I hated to say it, but the entire situation was completely hopeless, and I didn’t understand why he didn’t see that. I turned around and leaned against the counter, taking a sip of my tea. He got up from the counter and walked over to me, grabbing me by the shoulders. I sighed and looked him in the eyes.

“I don’t know how you can be so flippant about this,” he said. “You have to do something about this. It can’t keep going on and on like this.”

That was when it happened. I finally lost my temper. I had held back all evening, even thinking that maybe I wasn’t as mad at him as I’d thought, but once I felt it, I realized that I was wrong. I set my tea on the counter and pushed his hands off my shoulders.

“You’re being an idiot,” I said angrily. “Don’t you get it? The only reason Janson is all riled up in the first place is that you came around. You pushed his buttons, challenged his authority, and started seeing his property even if we weren’t together anymore. But you’re about to leave, which means Janson will probably get tired of it and find something else to occupy his time. If you want to be helpful, if you really want to stop Janson from stalking me and harassing me, then you know what you have to do.”

“What’s that?” he said, leaning back.

“You need to just leave Bonanza.”