Chapter 33

Sara

When I’d woken up that morning, I hadn’t expected to end up out on the town with a complete stranger, but when Ryan’s best friend asked, I figured it would be a good change of pace. I needed to clear my mind from what happened the day before, and Ryan needed to get caught back up with work. I knew if I didn’t leave the penthouse, he would never stop doting on me. Alec was handsome and charming just like Ryan. Also, just like Ryan, he was every bit as rich. His clothes screamed high-fashion, his hair was perfectly manicured, and he walked around with that air as if he could do anything he wanted and get away with it. He wasn’t cocky so much as sarcastic, and I really liked his sense of humor. It was still strange being around people, though, who treated money like it was nothing at all. They dropped thousands of dollars a day on things I never thought of like how they got around town, private viewings of things, and lavish vacations I never imagined I would ever go on in my life. I was definitely not poor by government standards, but next to these guys, I felt like a complete pauper. I put it out of my mind, though, just wanting to enjoy the day.

“So how do you know Ryan?” I asked.

“We met here in the city and had a lot in common,” he said. “We were in the rich boy club, and it’s hard to find true friends outside of that.”

“I can imagine.” I chuckled, walking down the city street toward the Empire State Building.

“I’m a trust fund baby, though.” He smiled. “The only work I did for my initial fortune was being born. My parents, they bred me into high society while Ryan earned every penny he got on his own. I admire that about him. He sees what he wants, and he goes after it, not letting anything stand in his way.”

“And you?” I chuckled.

“I call my dad,” he said with a loud laugh. “No, I work hard now, but I didn’t always.”

“Well, that’s good. Hard work always feels good,” I said.

“For me, it’s a bit easier because I come from the old money. For Ryan, he really has to kill himself to get that work in,” he said. “That’s why the media kicking his butt is such a big deal. It affects how everyone sees him.”

“Oh,” I said, feeling slightly bad for being so upset about everything.

“It’s all right. I’ll throw him a couple million if he gets too caught up because of that crap with the Russians,” he said, laughing. “God knows I don’t do much good with the money sitting in my bank account.”

I just laughed and shook my head, not really knowing what to say back. We spent the day going from tourist site to tourist site. I saw the Empire State Building, Times Square, Central Park and then he drove me out to see the Statue of Liberty from a distance. It was already too late to go take a ferry over to it. The whole time we were out, he was a sarcastic host, cracking self-deprecating jokes about his wealth but at the same time flashing his money around. I found him to be interesting, the opposite of Ryan, and the typical rich guy but fun to be around on vacation nonetheless. When we were done looking at the statue, we wandered over to Central Park and grabbed some hotdogs from the stand. We walked through the park looking at the people passing by, taking in the warmth of the sunshine.

“So, tell me,” he said as we walked. “What is going on with you and Ryan?”

“Oh lord.” I laughed. “What isn’t going on?”

“That deep, huh?” he chuckled.

“Well, we met in Bonanza. He saved me like a hundred times from bad situations, and then we really hit it off. It was magical for a minute. I have an ex there. He’s doing some really crazy bad things to me right now, and to make me comfortable enough to talk about it, he told me about him and Natasha,” I explained. “Except he didn’t really tell me about him and Natasha. He told me a run-down version of the story. When I found out the truth, well, I lost faith in him. I didn’t trust him anymore. I can tell he cares. I don’t question that at all, but with how he’s portrayed in the media and how he lied about his relationship with his ex, I just don’t know what to think. The spark is still there. I can feel it, but then, I get scared. Besides, we have two completely different lives. He’s covered in luxury while I’m usually covered in animal fur and horse manure.”

“Ew,” he said with a laugh. “Let me tell you something about Ryan. Ryan grew up rough, poor as dirt, trying to put food on the table for his family. He had to become an adult before he was ready or ever should have been ready. He has fought those tendencies since striking it rich, but he’s still a poor boy thrown into a rich lifestyle. He doesn’t always make the right choices, especially when it comes to women.”

“And I appreciate that. I really do,” I said. “But that doesn’t make anything any easier.”

“I know,” he said. “Ryan’s a great guy, though, and he’s been single a long time. Even when he was with Natasha, I could tell he didn’t love her. He was caught up in the game, the game that only people like him and me would understand. It sounds like an excuse, I know, but the reality of it is, he’s in this world and he’s clawing to decide whether to stay in or get out. His roots pull him backward, and he doesn’t have a support system. He’s just kind of hanging out there hoping for a break.”

“I wish he would tell me the truth about everything,” I said. “I’m not going to judge him. He didn’t choose to be born into a poor family, and he can’t help that he is a product of the environment he grew up in. He has made something out of himself and broken free from that, which is the important part of it all. I don’t know. I guess life is just going to run its course, and we’ll know in the end where it takes us.”

“That’s one way to think about it.” He chuckled.

“How would you think about it?”

“Don’t let life take you. Take life and make it what you want,” he said.

“You sound like a motivational speaker.” I chuckled.

“I do, don’t I? Maybe that should be my next business venture, motivational speaking,” he said. “I could totally command a room, especially if I paid them to be there.”

“That’s not how it’s supposed to work.” I laughed. “They are supposed to pay you to be there.”

“Oh,” he said with a smirk. “And here I thought I was going to buy my next fan base. I don’t get nearly the paparazzi attention Ryan gets.”

“Lucky,” I said, shaking my head.

“But all in all, Sara, I think he’s getting smarter,” he said.

“Why do you think that?”

“Because he’s going after a girl like you, and that means something,” he said with a smile.

“Thanks,” I said, blushing. “But I broke it off with him before we left. He’s just my host, and I am his visitor. Nothing else. I had to figure out whether I could let myself be drawn to him again, and I was scared enough that I cut it off, and I don’t think I could go back on it now.”

“I don’t know,” he taunted, nudging me and winking. “It seems like he has some jealousy over you, something I’ve never seen in him before.”

“Yeah,” I scoffed, coming back out of the park. “So where to next?”

“Hmm,” he said, putting his hand to his chin.

I had to change the subject. It wasn’t going anywhere, and I was starting to feel embarrassed. I just wanted to go back to relaxing and seeing the beautiful city. I knew eventually I would tire of it and dream about pastures and barns, but for now, I could be a different person. We spent the entire rest of the day walking through the city. Alec showed me all of the old buildings, the different cultural areas, and all the hidden little places in New York that made it so special to the people who lived there. I had to say, it was actually a really beautiful place and not nearly as intimidating as I thought it would be. It was different, but right then, different was good. On top of that, it was really nice to get a chance to talk to Ryan’s best friend.

Alec had a different perspective on Ryan and could see him from the outside. He gave me insight on who he was and a little of why he was the way he was. It wasn’t sugarcoated, and he was honest about things, which was okay because Ryan was a person, and he was fallible. That wasn’t the problem. It was the idea that he and I lived in two different worlds, trying to connect in one, and it wasn’t working the way that it was going. We were trying to keep each other safe from our pasts, but it was only causing issues. Alec made me think of Ryan like I used to, and I was starting to sway a little more toward the idea of a romantic New York City fling. I didn’t want to stay away from him, even if I knew things weren’t long-term.

As we walked through the city, I decided that if Ryan came onto me, I would respond in a positive way. I wouldn’t push him away or get mad. Instead, I would go along with it, giving in to the urges that were already there and, frankly, driving me crazy at every turn. Why deny myself that pleasure? Why force it to be all or nothing? I deserved to enjoy my time there, and that was what I decided I would do.

Once that decision was made, though, I started to get anxious, wondering how long it would take for him to come on to me. Hopefully, he hadn’t decided that it was pointless. I wasn’t sure I could be the one to initiate anything. It was going to be torture waiting for him to get the nerve, especially after I’d made him promise to be a gentleman. Hopefully, he would lose that self-control, and hopefully, he would do it soon.