Chapter 2: Shannon
I tried not to gawk as he helped me. His muscles bunched up just to put the streamers up and it was hard not to look. Joel was so big, much bigger than he had been before. He didn’t seem to notice me in the same way as he had before. I did have a shirt on now, but I got nothing from him. When I would try to get close, he would dodge any touch. Frustrated, I tried to ignore him as well, but with him stretched and his muscles bunched, it was hard not to get a little riled up.
“So are you home for good Joel?”
He looked back at me, those blue eyes bright. “I don’t know. Dad wants me to take over the ranch, so I have that to deal with. I have thought about hiring some managers.”
“Don’t you like working here?”
Joel shrugged and it was clear that he didn’t. It was the reason he had went into the military. He wanted out of there and the service was his way. Now that he was back, I wondered how the ranch would run. It was not for the faint of heart. There was a constant stream of work to be done and someone had to make sure that it all got done. I had heard how good he was at training, so I guess I had assumed that he would like it as much as I did, but I guess not. Why was it that everyone that didn’t want to train could make it and I couldn’t?
“Can you honestly tell me that you like working here?”
I nodded. I was not ashamed to love it at the ranch. How could I not? “Of course. That’s why I am here. If I didn’t like it or hope to be a trainer one day, I wouldn’t still be here. I could have went to college, but I would much rather work with the horses than be stuck in an office somewhere.”
Joel looked down at me for a minute. “I actually believe you.”
“Why are you so surprised?”
“Because people very rarely say what they actually mean.”
“Well I don’t see a point in saying anything if I don’t mean it. Seems like a waste of time.”
“I couldn’t agree more. Though you didn’t mean what you said earlier.”
I had lied, or omitted. It was technical, but I hadn’t felt good about it after doing it. I didn’t want to lie to him, but my loyalty was to my friend. “Yes well, your sister is my best friend so it would have been pretty crummy of me to rat her out. Don’t you think? Hoo-rah and all of that.”
“That’s the Army. I am a Marine.”
“Well whatever you are, they have certainly made a man out of you.”
I looked away, not believing that I had just said that. I was missing my filter or more specifically my brain in general with him around. He wasn’t even flirting with me. It was just having him in such a close proximity.
“You think so huh?”
Nodding without looking at him. “I am sure you will have no lack of admirers here.”
Joel didn’t answer and I thought he had walked off. Turning back towards him after I hung up the last of the streamers, he was still standing there. “So nineteen, huh?”
I giggled a little. “Yep all grown up. How old are you now?”
“Twenty-four.”
I could have cared less how old he was. I just wanted to keep talking to him. He was so quiet for so long and then back to talking. Something was different about Joel. It was like he was battling his own demons, but none of that mattered when I looked into his haunted eyes. “So why are you so worried about how old I am Joel?”
He shrugged. “Just curious. You seem too young.”
“Too young for what?”
Joel didn’t answer me. He just smiled in such a way. I waited for him to answer and it looked like he was about to say something before I heard Amber behind me. I wanted to turn around and tell her to piss off but of course I couldn’t. She didn’t have Mack with her, so at least I wouldn’t have to be there for that. I was sure that Joel would dislike him as much as the rest of us did. I didn’t know if it would be best to hope for a fight. Then maybe Amber would see what a jerk he was.
It was almost poetic that they walked up about the same time that I started musing. I could tell they had just had sex Amber had that glow to her. She was a bit shocked that Joel was already home and her face faltered. But she was quick to recover and moved to give her big brother a hug. I saw Mack standing off by the house fence.
“Big brother you have gotten bigger. What have they been feeding you there?”
He chuckled and I loved the way it sounded. “A lot better than mom can cook, but don’t tell her I said that.”
Amber told him that she wouldn’t and she smiled up at him. She was happy to see him whether she wanted to admit it or not. I had known her to long for her to convince me of otherwise. Amber was always a bit complicated.
I left the two to talk and catch up. I had told Maddie that I would help her with the cooking. Their mom wasn’t as bad of a cook as they made her out to be and she was getting better. Maddie had become like a mother to me and we had been cooking together for quite a time. I had learned a while ago, having to cook for dad, so in a way I was teaching her. She had always had a cook or someone else to do it, so she just never learned. Maddie was getting better and Joel might be surprised of the changes. Surely the military wasn’t coming up with better food than her. I had heard about his appetite.
“Thank goodness you are here Shannon. I don’t remember what I was supposed to do with the steaks. The grill is ready and they are still out.”
“That’s good. They need to be closer to room temperature. Just put some salt on them and they will be ready in ten minutes to put out there. Why are you so worried?”
Maddie was worried about Joel being there. Amber was right in that they felt he was the golden child, but I felt like there was more to it. Families were always filled with secrets and the Fishers were no different. It was like a mystery I was dying to unravel and I knew Joel was one of the missing pieces.
“You know how I get. And I just want everything to be perfect for when he gets here.”
I didn’t know how she didn’t know, but I wasn’t going to be the one to tell her that he was out there helping with the party, instead of coming in to say hello to his mother. I was starting to wonder if I wanted to be there when the other piece strolled in. The Fishers were like family to me in some ways, but I was thankful to be out of the darker side of it.
“It will be fine. He hasn’t been home in years, so just seeing you Maddie will be enough. I am sure he will be here soon and then everything will be okay.”
“I hope so. I keep having this fear that he is going to call and decide to stay in the service. The two Fisher men have a hard time communicating, so I just hope that he didn’t say something when he talked to him last week. Ray has a tendency to be too harsh with Joel. He has been treating him like a man since he was five. It’s a lot of pressure and I know that is why Joel left in the first place.”
I tried to tell her it would be okay. I took over in the kitchen. It was part of the reason Maddie had such a hard time cooking is she was so distracted all the time. I had seen her once burn chicken by boiling all of the water out. I don’t even remember what she was trying to make, but I found that an almost impossible feat to manage.
“Why don’t you go and get ready Maddie? Take a few minutes to calm down and get to feeling better.” She needed to relax, but it was hard for her and I knew that. So, I didn’t really give her much of a choice. I just told her to go. After a minute she nodded, knowing that what she was doing was not going to make anything better. Maddie was a worrier.
About the time she was going upstairs, I was taking the raw steaks to the grill to be cooked. Dante and a few of his friends were there on grill detail and before long I could hear the sizzle as I went back into the kitchen. People were starting to arrive, so I needed to start getting some of the trays out. Amber was back in from talking with Joel and he was a few feet behind her coming in. “Go upstairs and say hello to your mother Joel.”
He looked at me strangely, but I didn’t let it bother me. “She is worried sick that you aren’t coming, so go. I can’t believe you haven’t went and seen her yet.”
Joel’s eyes questioned me for a minute, but then he did as I asked. Amber kind of smiled before I handed her a tray to take out there. “You are scary when you start taking things over, you know that right?”
I did, but it was the only way to get things done sometimes. While everyone else was worrying and upset, someone had to make sure that the food got down and Maddie’s feelings didn’t get hurt.