Chapter 4: Shannon
I just took off towards the outer reaches of the ranch. It was a bit larger than when he left, so I figured he would want to see the new land. There were a few new creeks and another training set up that had been put in. It was to be his from what Maddie had told me, so it seemed like the place to go. Joel kept close when the terrain became unknown. It had once been the neighbor’s, but now it was all Fisher land as far as the eye could see.
He started to fall back and I realized that he wanted to stop for a minute. “Where are we going?”
“The new training grounds that your dad bought from the Thompsons.”
“This is our land now?”
I shook my head and started back to a trot, waiting for him to catch up. There was a lot of ground to cover and it was already pretty late. Even though the sun was down, there was still a wet heat in the air that moving helped. “Come on, we got a ways to go and I am burning up.”
He finally caught up and I could feel his gaze on me. If Amber knew I liked her brother she would kill me. Looking away, I quickened the pace, trying to put some distance between me and him. While I knew he was off limits, it made me want him nonetheless.
Finally arriving, we slowed down enough so that he could take in the new gates and stables. There weren’t any animals over there yet, but when there was, it would be everything he needed. “So what do you think? Ray worked on this for months when he found out you were coming home.”
I just wanted to plant the seed and it looked like it took. Smiling to him in the moonlight, his eyes sparkled back at me. “You ready to go somewhere else?”
He nodded and took the lead. It didn’t matter where he was going, I wanted to follow. Joel was the quiet type, but his face showed a different side of him that I wanted to explore more. But at the moment, I was having a hard time keeping up with him. It was as if he was running from the devil himself.
***
When we slowed down, I knew immediately where he was planning to go. It was my favorite place on the property, the place I tried to run to every chance I got. It only seemed fitting that he would go there as well. “You want to take a swim?”
“I don’t have a bathing suit on.”
“So, neither do I.”
I bit my lip. He was already getting off his horse and pulling his shirt off. My throat made it hard to swallow. Joel had not made it back home unscathed, but it was hard to focus on the scars, when they were covering such a rippled chest. He was gorgeous. Swallowing down the lump in my throat, I got off my horse as he started to pull his jeans off. I wanted him to have nothing on underneath, but he finally revealed a pair of boxer briefs. He looked back at me staring and I looked down, trying not to give away my reaction. I was sure that he was used to women falling all over him and if I didn’t catch myself, I was going to be just as bad.
He jumped into the cool water and looked up at me when he resurfaced. “Are you getting in?”
I nodded that I was, but I still hadn’t moved to take any of my clothes off. I apparently was a little more modest than he was. I tried to tell myself that bra and panties were the same as a bathing suit, but it felt more intimate. “Turn around.”
He didn’t want to, I could see it in his face, but he did as I asked. As I looked at his bare shoulders, I quickly pulled off my shirt and shorts. The bra was white, as well as the panties and there was a thought that they would turn see through, but I was already too far to say no. I didn’t want Joel to think I was afraid or too shy, even though he made it hard to speak in his presence.
As I got in, I could feel the cold water instantly cooling me off. It felt too damn good and I closed my eyes with a soft moan of pleasure. When I reopened them, he was very close. “Feels good doesn’t it?”
I nodded my head. “Yes, this is one of my favorite places here. It’s always such cold water, no matter how hot it is.’
I fought the urge to push back the dark brown strand of hair that had fallen into his face. “Are you happy to be home Joel?”
He was, it was hard not to tell. Joel was already starting to look more relaxed then when I saw him a few hours ago. Maddie and even Ray seemed to be content that he was home. I hadn’t seen much of Amber, but I knew she was happy that he was home as well.
“Yes, I forgot how good it felt in here on a hot night. The view has gotten better as well.”
I tried not to blush, but it was hard not to. The way he looked at me when he said it made me shiver. Starting to move, I swam to the other side, and held onto the edge. My body felt like a game of tug of war. Naturally my body was drawn to the rugged man, but who he was made it impossible. He was my best friend’s brother and several years older than me. I didn’t have much experience with older men and what worked for guys my age, didn’t seem to work on him. I was left in this strange place where I just didn’t know what to do.
My face was hot and I knew that no matter how much I wished it not so, I was probably beat red. At least I could hide behind my tan a bit. We treaded water and talked. I didn’t bring up where he has been, but tried to focus on his plans for the ranch now that he was taking over. He was going to be my new boss, which sounded like a good idea in the beginning, but I was going to have to work with him every day. It was hard to when all I wanted to do was jump into his arms and kiss him.
It was about time to get out when we heard whispers. As they got louder, he grabbed me and moved towards the rock ledge, hiding behind it. I knew that it was Amber, but I didn’t recognize the man’s voice. “It’s fine. My brother is at the party.”
“He would kill me if he knew that I was out here with you.”
“What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him.”
I looked to Joel and I could feel him tensing up. I peeked around and recognized one of his friends from earlier at the party. He was about to come out when I stopped him with a finger to his lips. I picked up a loose rock and threw it over by them. Amber got spooked as I hoped she would and they took their playtime somewhere else.
When I looked back over at him, it was then that I remembered where I was. His body was hard against me and his arm was still holding my waist up against him. Turned towards him, our lips were so close to each other, I wished he would kiss me. My breathing had started to go a little faster and I leaned in a little, urging him to kiss me. When he didn’t, I moved the rest of the way, entwining my arms around his neck. I tried to ease the tension in his body, but I seemed to only make it worse.
Pulling me away, “We can’t Shannon. I can’t.”
He moved away, leaving me staring at his back and wondering what the hell just happened. It was the worst feeling when he started to swim away. I tried to hide my disappointment, pulling myself up and wringing out my hair. I was pissed a little and turned towards him to say something. I stopped when I looked at his face. There was darkness in his eyes that I knew must look like my own. But if he wanted me so bad, why did he just push me away? Joel was confusing, his signals all over the place.
Joel finally moved towards me with his shirt in his hand. Handing it to me, I didn’t reach for it quick enough. He then just threw it over my shoulders. “What are you doing?”
“I can see through that.”
“I have a shirt on over it.”
“I know.”
I brightened more and looked at his barely clad body. His chest was still wet with the water from the quarry and I couldn’t help following a droplet down until it escaped into the waistband of his pants. “Thanks.”
I took it off my chest and looked down. I could barely see a nipple, but his eyes were riveted back to the spot. Putting him out of his discomfort, I finally put it on and buttoned a couple buttons. It swallowed me whole and soon was just as wet as everything else from the wetness from my hair. It was trickling down my back and getting my clothes wet. “There, better?”
Our eyes met and I wished I hadn’t said anything. How could he say so much without uttering a word? His depths were endless and when they were pointed at me, it was hard not to tremble inside. “You ready to go back?”
I didn’t have a choice because he was already getting up on Thunder. I followed to not be left alone in the dark. He looked back at me once, but he didn’t slow down. I didn’t know if I was ever going to be able to understand him. But that kiss, no matter if I had to take it, was still burning my lips with the memory. There had been a few moments when he had kissed me back before he pushed away. That is what I couldn’t forget.
Getting back to the stable, I put Lightning up and didn’t look once towards the one that Joel was in. I walked towards the sounds coming from inside, confused at the mixed signals from Joel. Finding Amber, we talked for a few minutes and I ignored her brother when he came in. He was everywhere I looked it seemed and I couldn’t bare another moment with him. So instead of staying any longer, I just walked home and called it a day.
I lived with my dad in a small clapboard house on the property. There were several more like it, but I had come to think of it as home. It had been a good home and I was thankful for the Fishers. I kept wondering what would change when Joel took over. Maybe I wouldn’t even have a job too much longer.