Chapter 2
The dinner was much what he expected it to be. Far too many happy people, and everyone was in gagging love. It was strange to be in the middle of it all, but Scott just tried to ignore the ribbing from his brothers. Gemma and Elna were more worried about where Lisa was.
“Well not everyone is ready for marriage and love. I think that she is feeling the pressure as well.”
“There is no pressure, Scott. We just like having her around and think you should make an honest woman out of her.” Gemma tried to smile to take off the blow from her words. Everyone there liked Lisa and everyone just wanted Scott to be happy.
“There is definitely pressure. Mom gave me the run down before I went to get her. She just doesn’t want to talk about it.”
“Probably because she wants to be married, but you are just too hard headed to see it. You are wasting all of her good years waiting for you to make a move.”
He had never thought about it like that, but it was just like Gemma to make him see things from another point of view. She was a bit of an empath and Scott didn’t doubt that she was right about it. Did Lisa want to get married? What if he never went there with her?
Scott didn’t answer, trying to pay more attention to the food in front of him. His mother had always been a good cook and it was only when Davina stayed with them for a time, that he got a good meal. Scott was ruled by his stomach and no amount of pressure was going to ruin the plate in front of him.
“Scott?”
He looked up and it was Gemma still looking at him. “What?”
“Did you hear what I said?”
“Yes, something about her wasting her years with me. That’s great sis, thanks for that.”
She sighed and shook her head. “You know that it is true.”
He may have, but he was not going to admit it. “Lisa stays because she wants to. If she wanted to do all of that, she knows that she can do what she wants. She is her own woman.”
Gemma made a noise that was not very lady-like before she went back to her own meal. It was just like her brother to not think of anyone else but himself. Gemma had gotten to know Lisa many years ago and she loved her brother unconditionally, but she also knew that Lisa wanted more and she felt bad for her.
“Men will just never get it I guess. She loves you and if you don’t love her you should let her go.”
Scott put his fork down and pushed away from the table. The conversation was worse than he had anticipated, but he wasn’t going to be made to feel guilty about it. “I think I am going to go. Thanks for dinner.”
“Son, don’t go.”
He ignored them all and made his way back to his own room. While he was showing anger on the outside, he wondered if his sister is right. Should he just let her go and let her have what she truly needed and wanted, a husband and a family? It was not something that he was not able to give her or rather, unwilling to give her.
***
“So how did everything go last night?”
Scott sighed into the phone. “It was worse than I thought it would be. It was probably best that you didn’t go.”
“Really? What happened?”
He didn’t want to talk about it, but his mind had been thinking about what his sister had said all night. Was he really holding Lisa back, wasting her years. It was not a subject that he wanted to bring up, but that he thought he had to. There was something in the way he felt inside. He loved Lisa, maybe not enough to marry her, but he didn’t want to hurt her and Gemma had him feeling like he had.
“Just some things were said.”
“Like what?”
She was fishing and they both knew that he was going to tell her. “Just that I am wasting your good years and that I should let you go so you can find someone that will give you what you need.”
Lisa was quiet for a time and he said her name, afraid that she had hung up. “Lisa, are you there?”
“Yeah I am here. I bet that was Gemma saying that.”
He agreed that it was, but wondered how she knew. “Yeah it was.”
There was another pause and it was only then that Scott knew that his sister was right. He had been holding Lisa back and now that she was pushing thirty, he wondered if her clock was in fact ticking loudly in her ear. “No comment to it? I was hoping that you would tell me that she is going crazy and that you aren’t looking for the whole marriage and family. When we first got together, you said that you weren’t looking for any of that.”
He heard a sigh that pulled at his heart strings. “I mean, Scott, that was five years ago. I didn’t want you to think that I was one of those girls that just was just dying to get married.”
“And now?”
“Now I am thirty in a month and I want those things. I want you more, but I have always thought of having a family and a few kids.”
“Why didn’t you tell me that in the beginning?”
“Because people change, Scott. I changed.” The only problem was that Lisa knew that he hadn’t changed. Scott saw marriage as a means to an end or more like a death sentence.
“So now you want to get married?”
“I do, but I know that you don’t want to.”
“So you are missing out because of me?”
“I wouldn’t say it like that, but your sister has a way of stating the obvious. I am getting older and my window to have kids is becoming smaller. I think all women think about that.”
Scott didn’t know what to say, but he was starting to feel the guilt that the women in his family were heaping on him. Maybe they were right, but what did that mean for them?
“Well, I don’t want to be the one that holds you back, Lisa. I thought it was good between us, but I guess I was wrong.”
“It’s not like that, Scott.”
“Can you tell me that you will not regret being with me in ten years if we don’t have any children and I still don’t want to get married?”
She was silent for a moment. Lisa didn’t like the way the conversation was going and the idea of losing Scott felt worse than all of the what-ifs if they stayed together. “I don’t want to talk about this anymore, Scott. Why don’t you come over and we can have some fun?”
He knew that she was trying to change the subject and though he was all for not talking about the current topic, there was something in him that told him that he needed to bite the bullet and have the conversation anyways.
“No, we need to talk. Do you want me to come over there?”
She didn’t want to have the talk. The outcome was not looking good and he seemed too determined for it to be. Scott was a very hard-headed man and he would cut her off and end it before he would give in. She knew that and the last thing she wanted to do was lose him. His ways were the very reason that Lisa didn’t bring it up. She knew that if it was between her and his freedom, Scott was always going to choose himself.
“Maybe tonight. I have to go to work in a little while.” She didn’t want to be upset at work, though she left that part of it out. There was something about the way he was talking that Lisa just knew that something bad was going to come from it. Lisa loved him more than life itself and even the thought of losing him put a stricken in her throat and made it hard to swallow, she knew that she couldn’t stop the inevitable if it was meant to happen.
“Okay, Lisa. I will see you late after you get off. Since Henri is back home now, I don’t have to stay out as long, so I will meet you at your place around 6, okay?”
She agreed and waited for a moment. She was going to say something else, but thought against it. “I love you, Scott.”
“I love you too, Lisa. Have a good day at work.”
She hung up the phone and stared at it for a time. How could everything in her life change so quickly? It was like everything was fine one minute and then the next, everything was going to hell. She sighed to herself and pushed the water from her eyes. It was not going to end well. Their conversation had told her where it was going to go. It was the last thing that she wanted to think about was losing Scott, but Lisa felt like she already had.
Pushing it all from her mind, Lisa got up from the couch and went to get dressed. She pulled her blonde hair back from her face and threw it up in a tight bun on her head. She was a nurse by trade and even though her life felt like it was going downhill, she still had to go to work and pretend that everything was okay. Even when it wasn’t and she spent the next several hours in dread of seeing Scott later that evening while she tried to keep the patients straight. He had always been her rock. Never had Lisa imagined her life without him. Once they met, she had thought she had found her soul mate.
It all had to work out, she assured herself. It just had to.