Chapter 21

Melissa

"Well, what first?" I asked, turning to face Sadie. She looked so much like Jack, from the devilish tilt of her lips to the hazel eyes that seemed to swallow the light around them. Sadie's nose was also a perfect copy of Jack's, though without the crick in it. She was gorgeous, and I envied her curves. I hoped the two of us could become friends and it was looking like that was a strong possibility.

"Ferris wheel?" she asked hopefully.

I laughed. "Let's do it."

Though we'd been heading toward the midway, I didn't feel like winning a giant stuffed bear anymore if I didn't have Jack to win it for me. Stupid, I know.

We walked over to the Ferris wheel and stepped into line, chatting the whole way.

"So you and Jack have quite the age difference, right? Ten years or something like that?"

"Ten years almost exactly," Sadie confirmed.

"And what was that like growing up?"

She mulled the question over for a minute, finally giving a noncommittal shrug. "Fine, I guess. We didn't play together or anything like that, but he was always there for me and seemed impossibly old for most of my life. He's a good brother and made a great guardian after my mom died."

"He told me about that. I'm sorry for your loss."

Sadie waved away my pity as the carnie ushered us into a carriage and the bar was strapped down over our laps.

"From what I understand, you didn't even have parents. Or any siblings. That can't have been easy."

I chuckled. "Having no family makes Christmas a lot simpler."

The wheel began to turn, and air rushed past my face, tousling my hair and tickling my cheeks.

"Well, you've got us now," Sadie replied, staring out over the fairgrounds as we rose higher and higher into the air.

It warmed my heart. When we reached the top of the Ferris wheel, Cannon in its entirety spread out just beyond the fairgrounds, and I realized how small my life had been before Jack came into it. No family. Small town problems. No drive to do anything else. My life was still small, but I was making steps every day to pursue something else, and eventually I would have enough money to get out of here for good and seek my happiness. I hoped that happiness would include Jack, but it was still too early to tell if I could trust him as much as I wanted to—if he was in this with me or if I was making fanciful notions alone. Sadie's words brought comfort and helped me believe that this was long-term and that I'd found something in Jack that I could build a life on.

"I appreciate that," I said finally. "I really, really do."

"And I appreciate how happy you've made my brother. I've never seen him like this."

I glanced over in surprise. "Really?"

"Really." Sadie nodded emphatically. "He's always been quick to crack a joke, but there's been this underlying bitterness lingering since around the time mom got sick that he just hasn't found a way over yet. When he's with you, that part of his personality seems lighter, like it's being erased." She shrugged. "I suppose love will do that to people."

Love. Love.

We'd never discussed the L word, which wasn't a bad thing since we'd only been going out for a couple of weeks now. I didn't tell Donnie I loved him until we'd been dating for six months. Then again, what Jack and I had felt different. It was more passionate. More intense. Deeper. Just being near him was enough to put my body on high alert, and I missed him every second we weren't together. I felt almost pathetic for it, but I was trying to remind myself that it was okay to love and it was good to feel something so positive.

I didn't respond to Sadie's comment, mostly because I didn't know what to say. Instead, we fell into silence next to each other, gently swinging with each brush of the wind, staring out at the lights of the fair and the town just beyond it.

After the Ferris wheel, Sadie pulled me onto the Tilt-a-Whirl. After the Tilt-a-Whirl, I found the nearest bench and plonked down on it with my head between my knees.

Sadie sat next to me and ran a hand over my back in comforting circles. I tensed up at first, but soon relaxed my shoulders when I found I quite enjoyed it. It was soothing, and I needed some of that to combat the nausea threatening to ruin my night.

"Mom used to get nauseous a lot, as I'm sure you can imagine," Sadie told me in a low, airy voice. "She tried not to let on how much she was suffering, which for the most part worked in my case." She chuckled. "Hell, I was like six the first time, and I had no idea what was going on. So when Mom said she wasn't eating because she'd already eaten earlier, I believed her. Jack didn't though."

The story was helping, giving me something to focus on as I overcame the motion sickness. I was so embarrassed that I was reacting like this in the first place, but Sadie was acting like it was the most minor of inconveniences, and that she dealt with shit like this all the time. It helped.

"I didn't know about this for a long time, but she was too nauseous to sleep sometimes, and she would stay up all night in bed, miserable and alone. After my brother discovered she was doing that, he started bringing his blanket and pillow into her room at night. He would sit in her armchair and stay there until morning just to keep her company, even if he couldn't keep his eyes open the whole time. She tried to get him not to but, Jack being Jack, he didn't listen."

The nausea was starting to pass now, and I pulled my head up and leaned back against the bench, nodding for Sadie to continue her story.

"When she went into remission, she told everyone who would listen that Jack was the one who saved her, that he helped her through some of the loneliest, most depressing hours of her life."

"That's a really sweet story," I said.

She smiled. "It is, but it's sad too. The cancer came back a couple of years later, and Jack did the same thing again. He put his whole life on hold so he could move home with us, and after she died, he took me in as his own kid without ever raising a single complaint. I think he still feels a little guilty that whatever he did the second time around wasn't good enough somehow, that if he'd actually been doing his best he could have saved her again."

"How could he think that though? He was young but old enough to know how cancer works."

Sadie laughed. "I never said he consciously thinks it. I think it's just one of those things that rattles around in his head, you know? I wasn't surprised to hear he'd gotten together with a girl whose past was maybe not so cut and dry as most, and I'll be honest, I worried about what you would be like."

This chat had gotten much deeper than I expected it to, but it had accomplished the job of chasing away my nausea. I was too distracted by the whirring gears in my head to notice it, anyway.

"I hope I didn't disappoint you," I replied. "I care about him."

She smiled brightly. "I can tell. And no, you didn't disappoint me.” She waved a hand. “I was just going through that whole long-winded story so you'd know how much it means when I say that I think he's finally found someone who will take care of him as much as he will take care of them."

My stupid overemotional eyes stung with tears, and I blinked them away as an overjoyed smile dominated my face. Then, surprising both of us, I pulled Sadie into a tight hug.

"All this because the Tilt-a-Whirl made me sick?" I joked.

We pulled apart, and Sadie grinned. "It seemed like a good moment." She shrugged. "I'm better with numbers than I am with people."

We both laughed and rose from the bench to dive back into the fair.

The hours flew by, providing plenty of opportunities to laugh and get to know each other, but also plenty of time for me to digest everything Sadie had told me. Jack was a good guy. A really good guy. I'd never thought any different, but having confirmation was still reassuring. I was beginning to accept that in this situation, perhaps it wasn't too good to be true that I was happy. Maybe, even, I deserved that happiness. I deserved something good. And I couldn't ask for that goodness to come from any better source.

As it got later in the evening and the fair started to wind down around us, Sadie decided it was finally time for her cotton candy, and we agreed that after that we'd head back to the motel.

I caught sight of a familiar set of tattoos as we approached the cotton candy stand and stopped. "That's my friend Naomi from work," I said. "Mind if I go say hi while you get your fix?"

"Not at all. You sure you don't want any?" Sadie replied.

I laughed. "I'm good but thank you."

I walked over to Naomi, whose face lit up with enthusiasm the moment she saw me. Her girls, Bridget and Veronica, were just at the age where hanging out with their mom at the fair was lame as hell, and they gladly stepped away for a moment while the two of us caught up.

It was good to see Naomi outside of work and it reminded me that I could have a life outside of work if I wanted. Donnie always whined if I spent too much time with anyone else. With Jack, so far I just hadn't wanted to spend time with anyone else. Nevertheless, it was a good catch up and put me in an even better mood than I was in before as I strutted back over to the cotton candy stand.

Then my mood fell.

Sadie was no longer alone. There were three guys hanging around her like flies—none other than Matt, Andre, and Donnie. I expected that Derek was probably around somewhere too since the group seemed never to go anywhere incomplete, but thankfully he was missing in action.

Sadie's expression and body language showed she was not interested in any of the guys, but they had her backed against the stall. I knew from experience that getting past them would mean physically pushing them away.

"Everything okay?" I asked, pushing past Matt to stand beside my friend.

Sadie snorted. "I was just explaining to these lovely gentlemen that I'm not interested in their attentions and would very much like for them to leave me alone. Evidently, the men here speak a different language than I'm used to since they have yet to vacate my personal space."

"Not all the men," I replied. "Just these ones. Do you speak Neanderthal?"

"Get out of here, Melissa," Donnie snapped. "Don't you have some greasy construction worker you need to go bend over for?"

"Very original," Sadie said dryly. "Did you come up with that yourself or was it more of a group effort?"

Donnie glared at both of us. Matt stepped up to the plate.

"We're just trying to have a good time. No need to be so uptight."

"Uptight?" Sadie repeated. "So a girl has to be uptight not to want to spend time with you? You must meet a lot of uptight women."

I laughed, watching as Matt's pale skin bloomed cherry pink. It was about time somebody told him off, and he was not happy about it.

"Sadie, meet my ex-boyfriend Donnie and his lovely friends," I said by way of introduction.

She guffawed. "This is your ex-boyfriend? No wonder my brother kicked your ass so easily. Was there even any competition?" She cocked her head to the side and squinted at him appraisingly.

Donnie immediately backed up a few paces. "Disgusting. You're related to that loser?" He tapped his friends on the back. "Let's go. We're wasting our time. I wouldn't want to touch her with a twenty-foot pole."

"Let's not get too ambitious about the size of your pole," Sadie called after them.

I couldn't help it anymore. I broke down into a fit of laughter, and Sadie soon followed. We must have looked mad, laughing so hard next to the cotton candy stand that we couldn't breathe, but it felt good.

"You're officially my new favorite person," I told her. "Honestly, I've never seen them turn tail so quickly."

"What can I say?" Sadie said with a grin. "You don't have a brother like mine without picking up a few things."