Chapter 14

Derek

When I woke up on Tuesday morning, Amy wasn’t beside me. I had learned quickly that she was an early riser, so I wasn’t worried. I took my time in the shower and getting dressed, reliving last night in my mind. God, she was angelic. The memory of her in the water… fuck.

I resolved to go find her and make love to her again.

I wandered through the mansion, checking the seemingly endless rooms, trying to guess where she’d be. Finally, I heard her voice coming from one of the sitting rooms, accompanied by my father’s. I peeked through the crack in the door. They were facing away from me, sitting in armchairs, drinking coffee, and chatting.

Smiling to myself, I decided to leave them alone. It made me happy to see how fond of Amy my father was, how much joy she had brought him. I couldn’t recall a time when he had been more cheerful than he had been this week.

I made my way to the kitchen and made some toast with raspberry jam. While I leaned against the counter eating, I thought about how fortunate I was to have stumbled upon Amy at the bar last week—which, now, seemed like years ago. Without that single twist of fate, I might have been watching her from my lonely office for months, even years, while she worked at the firm, unaware.

I tried to imagine a world in which I’d never become better acquainted with Amy, but I couldn’t picture it. In a short amount of time, she had become such a central part of my world.

There was definitely something different about her. I couldn’t put my finger on it. Sure, she had plenty of desirable traits—besides being wickedly attractive, she was sweet, unassuming, intelligent beyond her years, and witty. She was someone who I could not only hold a conversation with, but I could also challenge myself to keep up with her. She wasn’t arrogant either. If anything, she was too humble. But all of these things didn’t quite capture what made her so extraordinary.

Something about her was changing something inside of me. And, I had noticed, she was changing too. I wasn’t sure if it was simply that she was becoming more comfortable with me, but she had started to take the lead more, especially in bed. She knew what she wanted, and wasn’t afraid to take it. Her confidence turned me on in the best possible way.

Maybe it was everything combined. I’d known women with this or that, but Amy seemed to come with everything. She was the whole package. I’d never believed in the concept of perfection, but Amy came damn close to changing my mind.

This week couldn’t last long enough. I dreaded it being over, unaware of what would happen next. Our deal would be over. Amy might walk away, move on to bigger and better things. I was sure that she would have no problem finding someone else. I was so lucky to have her for these past few days, but it wasn’t enough. I didn’t think I could ever get enough of this woman.

After I finished my breakfast, I decided to return to my bedroom and wait for Amy there. But, on my way through the hall, I saw her leave the sitting room and walking toward me.

She stopped in her tracks, staring at me. To my surprise, her face was a mask of heartbroken anger. I stepped toward her, frowning in confusion, but she turned away from me.

“Amy?” I called, but she ignored me. I quickened my pace, calling her name again. “Amy, what’s the matter? Did something happen? I—”

When I got to her I reached out to take her arm, but she swung toward me. Now that I was close, I could see her eyes were tear-filled and wild with fury.

“Amy?” I felt my chest cave, seeing her so upset.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” she whispered, her voice trembling with emotion.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I glanced over my shoulder, trying to keep my voice calm. “Maybe we should take this somewhere more private.”

She grabbed my sleeve and slammed open the door to the nearest guest bedroom, dragging me in. She shut the door firmly behind us, crossed her arms, and looked at me.

“This works, I guess.” I tried to joke to dispel the tension, but in reality I was troubled by her sudden anger.

“I talked with your father this morning,” Amy stated, as if that cleared up any of my confusion. At my silence, she continued. “He explained the situation to me, exactly.”

“The… the situation? Amy, if I’ve done something wrong, I’m sorry. I promise you that it was unintentional.”

“Well, this sure has a lot of intent behind it,” she practically snarled. I never would have imagined that sweet, shy Amy could be like this—fierce, raging. “He told me that if you hadn’t presented him with an heir, you wouldn’t have received a penny from him. So that’s what this has been about?”

Shit. “No.” I lifted up a finger. “I can explain.”

“Oh, can you? See, to me, it seems pretty obvious what is going on here. You found out that you were getting zilch from your father, and couldn’t let that stand. Then along comes me, poor, naive Amy, who would do anything to help you, the only man who ever made her feel something. You used me, Derek. For money. You lied to me.”

“I…” My mouth was open, my lips were open, but I couldn’t find the words. Every biting sound of betrayal that left her lips was a knife in my heart.

“All I am to you is a way to get rich. Fuck, you were so convincing. I was so stupid to think that you put together this whole shitty plan just to, what? Make your father happy? Bullshit. Absolute, utter bullshit. And I fell for it.”

“Amy,” I said, my voice rising in distress. “Amy, please… calm down and listen to me. You’ve got it all wrong.”

“Don’t talk to me like that. You listen to me.” There were unrestrained tears rolling down her cheeks now. “I know you run an investment firm, but I’m not fucking stock. You can’t put a little money into me, and get a shit ton out. What, did you think, oh, I guess I can spend one week with this girl, if it means I can have my dad’s fortune when he dies? Don’t you see how fucked up that is?”

I studied her, anger rising in my own stomach. I didn’t want to hear what she was saying. It was fueling my own self-doubts.

“Even… even if that were the case,” I said, stepping toward her. “You agreed. I never forced you to do this. You’re the one doing it for money, not me.”

“Are you… are you kidding me? Are you trying to blame me?” Amy spat. “You know what, maybe you’re right. Look at me, selling my time and my body—does that make me a fucking prostitute? Is that all I am to you? You’re worse than I thought.”

“That’s not… you’re twisting my words.”

“You manipulated me. You made me think that I was something treasured, something to be cherished. You made me feel priceless, even though you clearly put a price on me. Fifty-fucking-thousand dollars. That’s a lot, I admit it. More than I ever would have thought I was worth. But that’s the hardest part for me to deal with. Your intentions were right in front of me, and I was too caught up in you to realize it.”

I was quiet for a few moments, trying to compose myself. My vision was blurred and it took me a second to realize that my eyes were filled with tears. I blinked them furiously away, turning from Amy so she couldn’t see.

“You know,” she said. “I get it. I hate it, but I get it. It was too easy. I made it easy. And it was exhilarating. And it was crazy enough that it might work. It would give both of us a story to tell. I’d spend the rest of my life reminiscing about the week I got to spend in luxury, and you’d be at the bar, telling your buddies how you used this gullible, poor girl to double your money.”

“That’s not it,” I whispered, my voice cracking. “I don’t care about the money.”

“You’re really going to stick to the ‘helping a guy die happy’ line?”

“I don’t… Amy. At the beginning, it might have been about something different. Not money. I couldn’t care less about money. I thought you understood that about me, but apparently not. In any case. It’s different now.”

“So? What’s it about, then? What’s changed?”

“You!” I exclaimed. “Goddamn it, Amy. It’s about you. I don’t know what you’ve done to me, but I don’t know how I’m ever going to go back. It’s like you ripped out my eyes and gave me new ones. I can see better, but only… only when you’re here. You’re my glasses.”

“That’s…” Her lips trembled, and she looked at the ground. Her anger disappeared for a moment, replaced by sadness and doubt, which was worse. I watched her expression shifting as she fought with her thoughts. I understood what she was thinking—she heard my words, understood them, but wasn’t letting herself believe it. She still didn’t think she was all that she was. “Don’t try to romance me now, Derek. It won’t work.”

“Please, Amy. I need you.” I tried to reach out to her, but the moment my hands touched her shoulders, she yanked away.

“I’ll stay for the rest of the week,” she said, her voice flat and robotic. “Not for you. For Walter. I can’t stand to hurt him. But I don’t want to see you otherwise. And I sure as hell don’t want anything from you.” She turned and opened the door. “Enjoy your inheritance, asshole.”

I couldn’t say anything else. I watched the door shut behind her.

Everything went numb. I sat down on the edge of the bed, burying my face in my hands as I tried to calm myself.

Her words kept replaying in my mind, each one a stinging needle. I had been in plenty of arguments, with family, coworkers, friends, girlfriends. It was always easy to brush them off and keep going. Never, ever had I felt this level of hurt, this gaping loss.

I fucked up, I thought. And I don’t know if I can fix it.

How could I have said the things I said to her? ‘You’re the one doing it for money.’ I felt like shooting myself. I knew that Amy was the last person with financial motives. She was here because she genuinely cared to help me. And I had ruined that. Ruined the best thing that had ever happened in my life.

I wasn’t sure that there was any coming back from this.

She was wrong. I never had any intent of tricking my father to get his money. But I understood, now that I looked at the big picture, how she could have made that mistake. After all, I hadn’t told her about my father’s ultimatum. Secrecy was suspicious. If I were in her place, I would have assumed the exact same thing.

“What have you done?” I groaned out loud, shaking my head. Not something that could be easily undone, I knew—but I’d never forgive myself if I didn’t try. I couldn’t let Amy be that great ‘if only’ in my life, that unending, unanswerable question, a regret that chased me all the way to my grave. I knew that she was very close to becoming just that, and I had one chance, and one chance alone, to fix this.