Chapter 3

Chanel

I sat on the bed in Paula’s room and massaged my temples. I hadn’t even changed out of my work clothes – jeans and a blouse – because going home meant seeing mom, and I just wasn’t in the mood for another day of ‘quiz Chanel about why business isn’t better.’

Paula fluttered around the room, from the dresser to the mirror, then back again, and held a dress to her bosom. “What about this one?” she asked, and swayed from side-to-side on the spot. “Do you think it’s cute? Think it will land me one of those soldiers from the base.”

“Uh – what?” I hadn’t told her about my run-in with the handsome albeit grumpy Lieutenant Baker. My cheeks burned in anticipation of relaying that particular tale.

“What’s up with you? Your mind seems to be all over the place today. Is it, like, the weather getting you down?”

Thunder rumbled outside as if on cue.

“Maybe,” I replied. But no, that wasn’t it. For the first time ever I’d felt a real connection with a man, he just happened to be totally out of reach. No way, this had to be my hormones. God, the minute I told Paula about it she’d likely spout off more ‘cobwebbed pussy’ rhetoric, and that was the last thing I needed to hear.

“Okay, you’re actually starting to creep me out a little. You’re just staring off into space. Is it your mother? Is she bothering you again?”

“No,” I said. “Well, yeah, she’s always bothering me, but that’s not it.”

“Then what’s up.”

“A soldier came into the store this afternoon,” I said. “Before the storm, obviously.” Storms mattered in Meek Springs. The folks here measured everything by them. The weather could equal life or death when it brought blizzards that wiped out crops and livestock.

“A soldier. Is that why you dropped me like a hot tamale?”

“Yeah,” I said. “Oh God , he heard me talking about cobwebs on, you know.”

Paula screamed a laugh and dropped her dress in a puddle of fabric. “You’re kidding.” She dragged a chair out from behind her dressing table, turned it backward, then sat down wide-legged, her forearms balanced on the crossbar. “So? Did he ask you out or something?”

“What? No, of course not. He wanted decorations for the base,” I said.

“Okay, so no big deal.”

“No.”

Paula blinked. “You’re losing me here. Why are you as red as cranberry sauce? I mean, big deal, soldier came in and asked for stuff. Nothing happened, right?”

“Nothing happened physically,” I said. “I just – I can’t get this guy off my mind.” I stood up and paced in front of her. “Which is really stupid since he’s almost twice my age and he was super rude at one point.”

“Was he hot?”

“Is it cold tonight?” I countered.

“Freezing.”

“Exactly. Muscles and those eyes.” I shuddered and rubbed my arms. What on earth had gotten into me? I’d never been one affected by looks. I preferred men who had a gentle spirit, not grumpy assholes who couldn’t see past their own ego. “He was a dick, though.”

“Why?”

“Just acted like one,” I said. “And he was super secretive. It’s just a soldier. And I guess, I know it’s stupid, but I guess I’m fixating on him for other reasons.”

Paula narrowed her eyes. “Don’t start.”

“Come on, you know it’s not –”

“I just hate hearing about it, okay?” Paula rose from the chair and stomped over to her cupboard. Whenever I brought up this topic her mood changed. She was already temperamental, this just accentuated that side of her.

“Fine,” I said. “Then we don’t have to talk about it.”

“Yeah, whatever.”

Silence fell and Paula ripped hangers along the bar in her closet. One, two, three. She tore a dress out, snorted, then tossed it over her shoulder. I chewed the inside of my cheek and tried not to think of Ryan Baker and his muscles and his bad attitude.

My dad died in combat a long time ago. Navy SEALs all the way. I respected him and loved him dearly, but the minute he was gone, mom took over and I couldn’t help feeling a little sour about that.

“What kind of friend am I?” Paula asked, and spun on the spot. She grasped a red dress in one hand and a black in the other. “Huh? What kind?”

“What on earth are you talking about?”

“I’m talking about, what kind of friend am I if I can’t be supportive of you when you want to talk about – you know, that?” Paula shimmied her shoulders up and down. “So go ahead, talk.”

“Paula –”

“Talk!”

“You already know how I feel about Meek Springs,” I said. “I just can’t help thinking that me fixating on this soldier guy is for a reason other than his mouthwatering physique.”

“Damn, he must be hot if you’re calling him mouthwatering. You’re super picky.”

“I’m serious. I think it’s my subconscious and it’s ridiculous. I’m so desperate for someone to whisk me away, out of this town, away from mom’s store and into a place I can call my own.”

Paula sighed. “You know how I feel about this.”

“I know,” I said. “I know you wouldn’t want me to leave, and that I should be grateful for what I have.”

“A steady job. A roof over your head. The pick of any guy in this town.”

“Talk about slim pickings,” I said.

“Still, Timothy’s totally into you and he’s the most eligible bachelor in town,” she replied.

I struggled to restrain an eye roll. “Great. Just what I wanted. That’s the thing, Paula, I don’t need some guy to sweep me off my feet. It’s wrong that I crush on some random soldier dude, but I know why it’s happening. I want out. I want away from this town. I want my own life.”

“I want, I want, I want,” Paula said. She was a straight shooter and I trusted her to set me back on track when I strayed too far from the rails.

“Selfish, I get it.” But that wasn’t entirely fair on me. Dad died when I was just 12 years old. I spent the next seven years under my mother’s wing, more like in her talon-like grip, and all I wanted was a little freedom. Something better than being told what to wear and where to go every single day.

Shoot, she’d probably lose her shit at me the minute I got home.

“Quit thinking about her,” Paula said. She had a knack for reading me. “She can’t reach you here, and unless she plans on marching down to the bar in this weather, she’s not going to find you.”

“The bar?” I shook my head. “I’m not going to the bar. I thought we were having a slumber party.”

“What are we, pre-teens? Get real. We’re going out.”

“But –”

“There’s nothing to eat here, anyway, and I know the Springs Bar ‘n Grill is serving pizzas all night,” Paula said. “We’re going. Hence the dresses. Pick one.”

“It’s freezing out,” I said. “I’m not wearing a dress in this weather.”

“Well, you’re not wearing work clothes to the bar.”

I folded my arms and she mimicked me. A standoff ensued. If my mother found out I’d gone to the bar she’d lose her mind. She had me on a strict curfew and if I didn’t stick to it she took away whatever privileges I had.

She owned the store. I worked in the store. If I didn’t do what she wanted, she refused to pay me, basically. I had no other home to go to, and I sure couldn’t move into Paula’s tiny apartment. She already had an annoying roommate.

My cell burst to life in my pocket, and I wormed it out. Mom’s name flashed on the screen.

“Right on cue,” I said, and flashed it at my friend.

“How do you even have bars in this weather? Seriously.”

“It’s my mother. She’s powering the cellphone towers with her will to dominate.” I swiped my thumb across the screen, then placed the smart phone to my ear. “Hello?”

“Don’t hello me, Chanel. Where are you?”

“What do you mean, mom? I told you I was coming over to Paula’s,” I said. “We’re having a slumber party, remember?” I grimaced at the term. It was kinda dinky, given that we were a pair of nineteen year olds.

“Hold up the phone,” mom said. “I want to hear where you’re really at.”

“Are you kidding?”

“You’re at the bar, aren’t you? Hold up the phone!”

I blushed and held up the phone. God, I wasn’t sixteen anymore, but I couldn’t say no to my mother. I hadn’t studied anything except interior design, and even that was from home. She hadn’t given me leeway in years.

“Hello, Mrs. Scott!” Paula yelled. “Thanks for your call. We’re having a great time with all these fat co –”

I kicked off my shoe and it hit my friend in the stomach. She broke into a bout of hysterical giggles.

“Mom?” I placed the phone to my ear. “Do you hear there’s nothing going on? We’re just at Paula’s.”

“Just at Paula’s. That girl is always up to something. I don’t want to catch wind of you two up to anything. All right? If I hear you were down at the Springs Bar n’ Grill, I’ll –”

“I know, mom.” I sighed. “We’re just going to hang out here and watch movies. We’re heating up a pizza in the oven.”

“A pizza. Girl, you know you need to watch your weight. Cholesterol is a big problem,” she said.

I was tiny. It wasn’t vanity, thinking that, it was truth. I had my mother’s genes, apart from the height. “Cholesterol. Sheesh, mom, it’s not like it’s an egg pizza. Look, I’ve got to go. I’ll see you tomorrow morning.”

“No funny stuff, Chanel. I’m warning you.”

“I know, mom. Bye.”

“I love you, sweetheart. Bye, bye, now.” She hung up first. Even if I said goodbye first, my mom always made sure she hung up before I did. She had to have the last say, or that last vestige of control. It drove me fucking crazy.

“Wow,” Paula said. “Have I ever told you your mother’s a total bitch?”

“She’s just overprotective.”

“She’s controlling your entire life. You could’ve been out of this town and living large in friggin’, I don’t know, Chicago or something. Shoot, you could’ve moved to Canada and hooked up with one of those mountain dudes. The rangers?”

I rolled my eyes and didn’t answer. What could I say? I didn’t have a say in anything that went on in my own life. I’d done my best, I’d been a good daughter, and still I didn’t receive a modicum of respect.

I put my cellphone on silent, then slipped it into my pocket. “Let’s do it,” I said.

“Do what?”

“Go out. Let’s get dressed up and go to that bar. I don’t care anymore. I want to get drunk. Or at least tipsy.” I’d never been big on drinking, but what the heck. If I couldn’t live it up away from Meek Springs, I’d live it up right here.

I didn’t have much of a choice in the matter, it appeared.

“Yassss, bitch! That’s the spirit. Okay, so I think you should wear the red dress. I’ve got a fluffy coat that goes with it. Oh, and you have to do heels. I mean, this is not the big city but it’s, like, all we have.”

“You don’t think it’s a bit much? I mean, it’s just a small town bar.” I’d been a couple times under similar circumstances. I wasn’t a prude, after all, but I’d never dressed up for the occasion.

“Tonight, darling, we’re going to let our hair down,” Paula said, and flipped her bright, red locks to drive home the point.

I couldn’t help the nerves that bubbled up in response.