Chapter 23

Jack

Being with Melissa was an adventure full of surprises, but one of the things I found most unexpected about our relationship was how easy it was. After a long day of work, I could come home and relax, just be myself, and that was something I’d never had with a woman before. Something about her very presence soothed me, and I was content to wile away my downtime reading on our crappy little sofa while she got ready for her shift, did a crossword at the table, or watched one of the stupid home and garden shows she was addicted to.

I flipped the page of my book, a cheap collection of local history, and listened to Melissa hum as she painted her fingernails at the table. I was completely content. It was so domestic. So calm. It was the kind of life I never thought I’d find satisfying, but all I wanted to do now was give Melissa the beautiful house and yard she wanted so she could fill it to the brim with her positive energy.

My phone vibrated in my pocket, and I pulled it out to see a new email from Sadie. I smiled. She left a week ago, and I already missed the little brat. We'd had a great weekend together, and she left on the Sunday with a promise to visit again soon.

I opened the email and, after scanning it, looked up at Melissa.

She glanced over. “What? What’re you smiling about?”

“I just got some good news,” I replied, setting my book down and rising from the couch. I strolled over to the table and stood behind her, rubbing her shoulders while she finished her pinkie.

“What kind of good news?”

Melissa was going to be ecstatic. I was bursting to tell her.

"I sent a couple of your drawings back with Sadie since her roommate is in the fine arts program. Her friend loved them and showed them to a couple professors, and they all agreed that you're very talented."

Melissa’s shoulders tensed. “You’re joking.”

I walked around the other side of the table, wanting to get a better look at her face. I didn’t understand. I thought she would be happy to have a little outside validation, but her eyes were hard as she waited for my answer.

"I'm not joking," I said. "I wanted to prove to you once and for all that you're talented since you seem to be the last person to realize."

Melissa jammed the brush back into her nail polish and rose from her seat with enough force to send it teetering back. “That’s none of your business.”

Much as I didn't like her sudden rage, it looked fucking good on her. Her narrowed eyes were like slits of ice, beaming cold fury straight into my soul. Her jaw was tight, accentuating her cheekbones, and her lips were pressed together in a flat line. I wanted to reach for her, to take her into my arms and silence her rage with a kiss, but now wasn't the time.

“I was just trying to help.”

She shook her head. "No, you were trying to stick your nose where it didn't belong!" she shouted. "What I do or don't do with my art does not affect you. Why are you so pushy about this?"

“Pushy?” I furrowed my brow, stepping around the table toward her.

She sidestepped and went the other way to keep the distance between us, and for the first time, I saw suspicion in her gaze. What did she suspect me of?

“Sweetheart, I wasn’t trying to be pushy about anything. It’s fucking frustrating to see you be so talented but so down on yourself all the time. All I wanted to do was prove to you that you’ve got talent and that it’s okay to think that.”

“Why’d you wait until now to tell me then, huh?” The accusation glistened in her eyes. “You knew I’d be upset, didn’t you?”

“Jesus Christ, woman,” I bit out. “I was trying to surprise you. I thought it would be a happy surprise, not that you’d act like I’d just pissed all over your daisies.”

Melissa bunched her fists. I had an image of her attacking me, of me wrestling her down into submission, and I couldn't help the fire that burned through my veins. It was the strangest sensation because my body ached to touch her, to taste her, but my heart ached because of how angry she was with me. Something was wrong. Melissa wasn't the type to freak out for no reason, so if this was a sore spot, I needed to know why.

“Baby, sit down. Let’s talk.”

“I don’t want to talk,” she growled. “I’m going to go for a walk. I need some air.”

I followed her to the door, reaching for the handle before her. She flinched back, and it cut like a fucking knife. I let go and walked back, hands in the air.

“Fuck, I’m sorry, sweetheart. I just…” I scrubbed my hand through my hair, frustration bubbling up in my chest. "Please don't walk away from me. Stay. Talk."

She stilled, eyeing me. Finally, she gave a short nod. I approached, cautiously at first, and reached for her hands.

"Why is this upsetting you so much? Tell me."

She took a couple of deep breaths and licked her dry bottom lip. Finally, she said, "You won't understand."

"I will."

Melissa furrowed her brow and stepped away, letting my hands drop back to my sides. She walked over to the table and sat down, resting her weight on her arms.

"It started with stuff like this with Donnie," she said quietly. "He nudged his way in, little by little, until before I knew it he was controlling my whole life. It wasn't explicit, per se, but he was an influencing factor in nearly every decision I made on a day to day basis. There were things I would do because I knew it was what he wanted, things I wouldn't do because he wouldn't." She looked up at me, eyes brimming with tears. "I can't do that again. I won't."

I swept to her side, squatting down and holding her hand in mine. "Hush," I murmured. "I would never do that to you. Your life is your own, and I'm sorry if I overstepped. Honestly, I was just trying to do something good for you."

"I know you were," she said, voice cracking with emotion. "I didn't mean to freak out so much, but the second you brought it up, it's like it triggered a reaction inside of me." She let her face fall forward onto the table, sniffling. "I'm so fucked up, Jack."

I slid an arm under her knees and gently lifted her from the chair. "No you aren't," I murmured, carrying her to the bed and laying her on it. I climbed on beside her and pulled her against me, cradling her in my arms and murmuring reassurances into the crown of her head. "You've been through a traumatic experience, and sometimes it takes a while to recover. I don't blame you."

She sniffed and buried her head into my chest, blowing hot breaths against my t-shirt.

"Did they really say they liked my work?" she asked in a small voice.

I chuckled. "Yes. And I wish you wouldn't be so surprised. You're a talented artist."

"I'm not an artist. I just scribble things sometimes."

"But they're good scribbles."

"Good for a bartender, maybe, but not good enough to actually do anything with."

I sighed. "Baby, this is the attitude I'm talking about. You're talented, and I wish you understood that in the same way everyone else does."

Melissa shifted in my arms until she was looking up at me. The blue of her irises stood out vibrantly against her tearstained, pink eyes. I brushed a strand of hair from her face and leaned down to kiss her, unable to resist the call of those perfect, pouty lips. They tasted of salt from her tears and of that sweetness that was undeniably hers.

I pulled away, happy to see I'd left a small smile behind on her lips.

"Thank you for believing in me," she said. "I don't think I've ever said that to anyone before."

"The only thanks I will accept is for you to start believing in yourself. Will you please consider doing something with your art? I don't care if you just start scribbling on the walls, I just hate to think you're too afraid to pursue something that could be a real passion for you."

"I'll think about it," she agreed.

"Good." I pecked the tip of her nose.

Melissa giggled. "That goes for you too, you know."

I cocked a questioning brow. "I don't know. What do you mean?"

"The whole believing in yourself thing," she elucidated. "You're smart and talented. You could be anything you want in life, but you seem determined never to move forward as long as you can get by doing what you're doing."

I hadn't thought about this much, so it was surprising to hear it from somebody else. True, I hadn't pressed myself to succeed, but I'd been so busy taking care of my mom, then my sister, that it just never seemed like a priority. I still wasn't sure it was.

Like she'd read my mind, Melissa started offering up suggestions.

"You could go back to school for your GED, maybe even start picking up some skills and see what works for you," she said. "You're capable of anything, you just need to prove that to other people."

"Thanks, baby." I kissed her again. "You're right. It doesn't have to be anything crazy all at once."

"Exactly. We can both move forward one baby step at a time."

"I guess I'm so used to living in the moment that I didn't think too much about it," I mused. “When my mom got sick, the future became a scary and uncertain place. It was better just to deal with the problems I had in the present and leave everything else for later. I'm out of touch when it comes to planning ahead."

Melissa pushed me onto my back, shimmying up my chest until she was lying directly on top of me. I liked the feeling of her weight there, and I especially liked the feeling of her tits squished against my sternum.

"I have a confession to make." She smiled. "I've been saving to get out of Cannon for a couple weeks now."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah."

"That's good. Gold star for planning ahead." I leaned up and nibbled playfully on her nose.

"I'm telling you because..." She looked down bashfully, and when her gaze found mine again, I got lost in the sea of her eyes. "Would you want to save with me? And maybe we could get out of Cannon...together?"

It's hard to describe the feeling that burst in my chest the moment she said those words. I was warm and fuzzy and all those other stupid emotional descriptors, but I was more than that.

For the first time in my life, I felt whole.