Grizz
2001, Fort Lauderdale
“She said that? She said those exact words?”
Carter looked down at the table. She was sitting in the rear booth of a fast food restaurant. Grizz sat with his back to the wall facing the patrons that came in. He’d never sit with his back to a crowd, in spite of the slight risk that he might be recognized.
She’d sent him a message some time ago that Ginny no longer needed him, but he’d stayed around. She hadn’t told him in that message the other harsh words Ginny had said much later, words she told him now: That Grizz could relieve Carter of her duty to summon him. That Ginny would never send for him.
Carter was right in feeling he wouldn’t leave without further explanation, but even though she knew he’d been hurt by the details she’d just relayed, she also knew she wouldn’t lie.
“Yes.” Carter chanced a glance at him. “But I don’t think she means it. She’s coming from a place of pain and anger. Look at what she’s been through, not just since Tommy died, but knowing beforehand about your secret. Finding out you were his father. It’s just too much. She needs more time.” She took a quick sip of her soda and avoided eye contact with Grizz. Ginny had recently confided to her that Grizz was not Tommy’s father. Should Ginny ever decide to see or talk with Grizz, it would be her story to share. Not Carter’s.
This was the first time Grizz had actually met with Carter face-to-face since his return.
“I shouldn’t have just smashed that bitch’s face into the table. I should’ve fucking killed her!” The memory of the prison interview with Leslie was still fresh in Grizz’s mind. It was her fault Ginny was having to deal with so much right now.
Carter quickly changed the subject.
“So how has it been for you? What are you doing with yourself, and where are you living?”
He explained in as few words as possible that he worked on a landscaping crew. He’d moved out of an efficiency apartment on the beach and was renting a furnished three-bedroom house in a little subdivision called Laurel Falls. He was surprised how much development there had been in South Florida since he went to prison.
“Every fucking house looks the same. So does every neighborhood. If there wasn’t a sign in the front that said Laurel Falls, I wouldn’t know where the hell I was.”
Carter nodded. “I’m sure it’s changed a lot since you’ve been here. A car dealership sits where your motel used to be.”
“Yeah, I saw that. I can’t believe how far west the development has spread. It’s a fucking concrete nightmare.”
“How are you doing with staying off the grid?” Carter knew the temptation to visit his old bars and biker hangouts must be difficult.
“Not as hard as I thought, but I still keep a hat on and wear sunglasses as a rule. Fucking crazy that I’m being forced to live by the same rules I placed on Kit—errrr, Ginny—all those years ago. Karma is biting me in my ass.” He took a bite of his hamburger.
“At least you have an ass to bite. I don’t know how you pulled this off, but you did.”
He stared intently at Carter, slowly chewing his food.
“You’re not asking me how I did it, right?”
“Wouldn’t dream of asking,” she said honestly, then smiled. “I’m sure it’ll make a decent book one day.”
“I still don’t know why she’d send for me after Tommy was shot.” The bewilderment in his tone was obvious. “My first thought was that he’d been targeted, and she felt threatened in some way. Or maybe she thought the cops would never get the guy, and I might still have an ear to the ground. Hell, she could’ve just gone to Blue or Anthony for that. But I guess my gut wanted to believe she needed me because maybe she still loved me.”
He said the last part over Carter’s shoulder. He wouldn’t look at her.
Carter gave him a funny look. “Grizz?”
He met her eyes. “Yeah?”
“Ginny was wearing the bandana the day before Tommy was shot. I paged you within minutes of seeing her. Are you telling me you didn’t get it until after he was shot?”
Grizz sat up straight and focused on what Carter was telling him. She could see the wheels begin to turn.
“I’d accidentally turned my pager off. I got the page the day after Tommy was shot. I was actually sitting in a diner somewhere in Louisiana watching it on the national news when your message came through. I assumed it had been sent after the shooting.” He frowned. “Do you know why she was wearing it the day before he was shot?”
“No. She told me she’d forgotten it was a way to signal you and she just happened to be wearing it that night.” She paused, then leaned over the table toward him. In almost a whisper, she added, “But I know she wasn’t being honest.”
**********
He sat in his car, fighting the temptation to march into the club and stake his claim on the only woman he’d ever loved. It was killing him.
He’d done everything within his power to stay away from her and keep a low profile as he’d slowly immersed himself back into society. It wasn’t easy. The pull to go back to his old life was strong, especially since he didn’t have her to anchor him. He had dark thoughts about reinventing himself underground, bringing his gang back to its glory days, but he knew those thoughts were as misguided as they were ridiculous.
He hadn’t tried to see her since the day of Tommy’s funeral. The last couple of months had been hell. Knowing she was out there. Knowing she had needed him. Wondering why she hadn’t asked Carter to arrange a meeting.
He figured the initial message that he was no longer needed was because of her grief, so he’d stayed hoping she would come around. He was almost ready to accept she’d changed her mind after Tommy died.
But hearing from Carter that she’d been wearing the bandana the day before the shooting fueled his need to see her, to talk to her even further. To ask why.
For two days, he’d sat in a strip mall that faced the entrance to her neighborhood before finally seeing her. But when he finally did, it wasn’t what he’d expected. He’d had to blink twice to see if she was really in the car with the man he’d seen at the funeral. She was smiling at something he’d said as the streetlight illuminated her face. His blood began to boil with fury.
Grizz had followed them to a club and felt the darkness start to invade. He hadn’t felt anger like this since she’d given birth to Jason and he’d had to beat another prisoner to death. He knew there was only one thing he could do. He would have to drive away from the club before he did something stupid. He would have to find another outlet to quench his darkest fury.
No, not tonight. He’d have to patiently wait for the right time to approach her. He wanted to know why she'd worn the bandana and he didn’t know how he would control himself until he got the answer. But one thing he did know for certain.
He wouldn’t be leaving South Florida until she looked him in the eyes and told him to. And maybe not even then.