Grizz
2001, Fort Lauderdale
Two days later, Grizz was still reflecting on Ginny’s revelation. He had truly believed he’d fathered Tommy. Was Ginny telling some lie to hurt him, pay him back for all he’d done to her? Had Tommy convinced Ginny of some wild untruth in a misguided effort to shield her—or keep her by his side? Or was it the truth? God only knew.
He drove home from work, letting the thoughts run over him. He was learning how to be a patient man. He wanted to call her, ask for an explanation, but he knew he was being tested. Either by Ginny or by some higher being whose existence may or may not have been trying to seep into his conscience.
For months, his routine had been the same. He went to work every day and ate dinner alone in his house every night. He had no interest in television, so he either worked out in his weight room or spent the evening reading one of the many books he’d checked out from the local library.
He spent his weekends riding. He’d finally given in to the call of his bike and paid a visit to that warehouse and towed it back to South Florida. But, he never rode in Fort Lauderdale, where he now temporarily lived. He always made the long drive over Alligator Alley to the other side of the state. Even that was a risk, but with the one-year anniversary of his execution a few months back, he felt he’d passed a milestone. Earned it, somehow.
He rode just to ride. To feel the wind in his hair. He was grateful Florida had passed the no-helmet law. He’d never worn one and wouldn’t have wanted to risk getting stopped. He purposely avoided biker bars and the shadier areas of Fort Lauderdale. He always rode alone and avoided attention.
But not once did he ride where he didn’t fantasize about having her on the back. Her arms wrapped tightly around his waist, her breasts pressing against his back. The anticipation building as he imagined making love to her when they got back home.
He grinned when he thought about the times they didn’t even make it back home. He remembered how he’d reach behind him while they were riding and find the space between her legs that made her squirm. How his fingers built up a burning, a desire that caused her to insist he pull over at the most convenient and out-of-the-way spot so he could make love to her.
Would he ever know days like those again? Would he ever get another chance with her?
Now, as he pulled on to his street, his heart began to thud. He could see her SUV parked on the swale in front of his house. He’d been tired after spending all day in the sun, but seeing her car gave him an instant onset of energy.
He opened the garage door and drove in. He walked out to find her standing on the sidewalk that led to his front door, hands on her hips and staring pointedly at the motorcycle.
“You’re not actually riding that around town, are you?”
“Why? You wanna go for a spin?” He couldn’t help but smile.
“No, I don’t want to go for a spin! Seems like the last place you should be is on top of a motorcycle.”
“If you can think of another place I should be on top of, I’m open for suggestions.”
Her face started to turn red, and he could see he’d flustered her. He quickly changed tactics; he didn’t want to make her uncomfortable to the point where she’d never want to come back.
“It’s good to see you, honey,” he said as gently as possible. “Can you come in?”
She let out a breath. “Yeah, I’m not going to stay. I just wanted to give you an explanation after what I told you the other day.”
This wasn’t exactly true. She wanted to have a long talk with him, but wanted to see how things progressed first.
“You could’ve called me. Saved yourself the trouble of driving over,” he said casually. He’d given her his cell phone number two days ago.
“I lost the number.”
He chanced a glance at her. She was standing only a few feet away, looking at the sidewalk with her arms crossed and kicking the ground with her right foot.
He smiled as he unlocked his front door, then stepped aside so she could walk in first. He followed and shut the door behind them, locking it and trying to ignore the instant erection after he caught a whiff of her. She still smelled the same.
He watched her as she stood in the middle of his living room and slowly took in her surroundings. The blinds were drawn, but natural light from the overhead skylights filled the space, giving it a warm and inviting aura.
“It’s nice.” Her tone was unreadable.
“It came furnished. You want something to drink?”
“Do you have anything diet?”
“Hell, no. And why do you need to be drinking anything diet?”
She ignored the question and tried not to stare at his butt as he walked past her and headed for the open kitchen area. She didn’t know how it was possible, but he actually looked like he was in better shape now than before he went to prison. He was in his fifties now, and had been in prison for fifteen years. He wasn’t supposed to look better. He was supposed to look old and beaten down. Darn him.
He handed her a bottled water. Twisting off the cap of his own, he downed the entire thing in one long swig, then watched as she took a delicate sip of hers and screwed the cap back in place.
“You here to tell me why you think Tommy isn’t my son?”
“I’m here to tell you why I know he isn’t your son.”
“Can I have ten minutes to shower?”
“Yeah, sure.”
He showered in record time and came out of the bathroom wearing only his jeans and still towel-drying his hair. He thought he smelled food and noticed her on the other side of the kitchen island with her back to him. She was standing at the stove.
“What smells so good?” he asked.
Without turning around, she said, “Figured you might not feel like cooking after working all day. I dug through your fridge and pulled out what I could use. Hope you don’t mind chicken stir-fry.”
The truth was, she needed to keep her hands and mind busy. She’d allowed one quick thought into her brain about Grizz being in that shower, naked. Yeah, she wouldn’t go there.
“Don’t mind at all,” he said truthfully. “You’ll stay and eat with me, won’t you?”
She turned around to answer him and was instantly tongue-tied. Grizz stood before her shirtless. Both hands casually gripped a white towel that was draped around his neck. His long wet hair was tousled. She was staring at his chest when he interrupted her thoughts.
“Will you? Stay and eat with me?” he asked sincerely, a sweet and pleading look in his eyes.
She wondered about the last time he may have sat down to a home-cooked meal and had somebody to share it with. She could, she realized. The kids had plans for this evening, so she had time.
“Yes, I’ll stay,” she answered a little breathlessly as he returned to the bedroom to throw his towel in the hamper and put on a shirt.
As if fifteen years hadn’t come between them, he sat silently and respectfully like he used to do when she said her meal blessing. And then she wasted no time telling him about Tommy’s revelations concerning his and Mimi’s DNA.
“After Tommy told me he was your son, I convinced myself I saw a resemblance, but now that I think about it, Tommy almost had your height, but not your width. His brown eyes took on a hazel sheen in certain light, but I guess that was it. I didn’t want to believe he was your son, but because he actually did believe it, I guess I did, too.”
Grizz stared at her, taking it all in. He nodded, but didn’t say anything.
“I know all about his mother, Candy. I know what you told Tommy while you were in prison. How that guy Red made you and Anthony stay with her.” Her voice held no accusations.
She then told him about Tommy’s visit to his paternal grandmother’s house.
“Red.” Grizz tightened his jaw. “He really was a rotten piece of shit. Using me and Anthony to keep Candy prisoner under the guise that ‘it was for her own good.’ She must’ve been scared to death of him because she never once told me or Anthony what Red was doing to her.”
They’d finished their meal and were sitting at the table. Grizz took a sip of his drink and set the glass back down.
“And you’re sure Red was Tommy’s father?” he asked.
Without answering him, she got up from the small kitchen table and walked to the living room to retrieve her purse. He followed her as she sat on a chair that faced the couch. Taking a seat on the sofa in front of her, he watched as she pulled an envelope from her bag.
“This is Red’s brother, David Enman.” She handed him a picture. “What do you think?”
“Son of a bitch,” Grizz said under his breath. “Strange how Tommy doesn’t look like Red, but like Red’s brother instead. You said David Enman was dead years before Candy got pregnant, right?”
“Yes.” She nodded. “And I’ve never understood something. Well, there’s a lot I haven’t understood, but one thing after learning this is why you never really did anything to confirm paternity. You assumed you were Tommy’s father based on the same blood type and based on the mistaken notion that you and Anthony were the only ones having sex with Candy during the time. Big assumption for someone like you. Why?”
“It was a different world. They didn’t do paternity tests. I saw a picture of him when he was younger that I thought looked like me. We both have a rare blood type. His birthday lined up with when I’d been banging Candy. It was good enough back then.” He didn’t meet her eyes.
“Not good enough for someone like you though, Grizz,” she said softly. “I think you wanted to believe it. You wanted him to be your son, didn’t you?”
He snorted. “Why would I want something like that? Why would I want to bring a kid into that lifestyle? Don’t be ridiculous, Kit.”
She cocked her head. “Because, other than having Mavis look after me, maybe fathering a child as bright as Tommy was the only good thing you’d ever done. The only decent legacy you might’ve left in the world.”
He didn’t answer her, and she used the opportunity to segue into the next conversation she wanted to have with him. She didn’t know what he was expecting from her. She didn’t even know what she was expecting from him. The one thing she did know was that she wanted to hear some things from his own mouth. She wanted to hear the truths behind his past. She wasn’t interested in his criminal involvement and shady dealings with the people he’d blackmailed, the ones responsible for his fake execution. She'd already asked him the one question that had aroused her curiosity concerning how he'd pulled it off. She didn't need or want to know more.
No, she wanted the truth from Grizz about his personal past. She was testing him now. And she didn’t know why, but she desperately wanted him to pass the test.
“So, how old were you when you supposedly got Candy pregnant? She obviously believed you were fourteen because I heard her say it to you that night at the motel.”
He looked hard at her. She could see by the expression on his face that he was carefully thinking. He was either calculating the math or trying to figure out whether he could or should lie to her.
“You know what, let’s not start there,” she said before he could answer. “Let’s start with the basics. Your childhood. I don’t know why it’s important to me, but bear with me here, Grizz. Let’s see if you can be honest with me. It’s no longer necessary to hide things or protect me, right?”
“I don’t like to talk about my childhood, Kit, so if you’re going there, forget it.”
She let the second slip of her nickname pass, but she wouldn’t let the comment go.
“I know about your childhood. I know about your sister. Tommy told me everything.”
He stared. She couldn’t read his expression.
“But I don’t know her name. Tell me her name, Grizz. Tell me your little sister’s name.”
“I don’t see why it’s importa—”
“Tell me!” she screamed.
She had jumped up and now stood, looking down at him.
“Tell me one thing. One truth from your past. Telling me her name isn’t putting anyone in danger. She’s been gone for years. You have no excuses to keep anything from me anymore.”
Her voice echoed through the house. She watched him swallow. He was still sitting on the sofa, but on the edge of it now. His face was even with her waist. Without looking up, he whispered, “Ruth. Her name was Ruth Ann. I called her Ruthie.”
Ginny’s sigh was easy to hear. She slowly closed the gap and he reached for her, pulling her close and burying his face in her stomach. She let him hold her and found herself running her hands through his still damp hair. He wasn’t crying, she realized, but just holding her, taking in her warmth. Taking in her light.
“So, Mimi’s middle name that you suggested. It was in memory of Ruthie.”
Gently, she took his face in her hand and turned it up to look at her. His eyes were filled with pain, but slowly changing into something else. Something heated.
“Yes, that’s why I suggested it,” he murmured. “I’m glad you now know why.”
She swallowed thickly. She needed to disengage. She saw the need in his eyes, wondered if he saw the same need in hers. No. Not yet. Maybe not ever.
Back to business. She calmly removed herself from his embrace and sat back down in the chair.
“What’s your real name?” she asked next, crossing her legs.
“Awww, honey, don’t go there. It’s not important.”
“It’s important to me.”
She saw the familiar clench of his jaw when he was upset or agitated. He stood up and started to head for his bedroom. She didn’t follow. He came back out with his hair pulled back in a ponytail. He was stalling.
“Why is my real name important to you?”
“Grizz, are you here in South Florida because you see a future with me? Not that I’m sure how that could be accomplished, but you know I’m not in danger. Tommy’s shooting was random. You don’t need to watch over me and my kids. I’m self-sufficient. I can raise my children alone. I don’t need you, so why are you still here?”
He didn’t answer but just stood in front of her, hands clenched into tight fists. She was making him mad. Good. Let him feel some anger. It was a feeling she disliked, but at least it was an emotion.
“I guess you’re battling your old demons, aren’t you? Nobody tells Grizz what to do or gives him an ultimatum? Well, I’m giving you one. If you want to stay remotely connected to my life, even if it’s peripherally, I suggest you tell me the truth. You tell me your real name, or I will walk out of that door.” She nodded toward the front door. “And I will never look back.”
Nothing. They stared. Neither one broke their gaze.
“Your decision,” she said firmly.
Still nothing.
Minutes passed.
“Fine,” she said, standing up quickly. She dug in her purse for her keys, but he came to her, grabbed her by both arms.
“No, Kit. It’s not what you think.” His voice carried a desperate edge.
“Then what is it, Grizz?”
“I’ll tell you my real name, but I’m afraid you won’t believe me because it’s similar to my new alias. I’m afraid you’ll think I’m making it up, but I’m not. You’ll have no way to verify the truth, so I can only hope you’ll believe me. I’ve not given you any reason to trust me with these things, but I can’t stand the thought of you thinking I was lying about something that I’m actually being honest about.”
She sat back down.
He looked down. “The only people who ever called me by my real name were teachers and some kids from the school. The couple that raised me called me Boy, and Ruthie called me Brother. I saw my birth certificate only once before I destroyed it by sinking it in the family car in a canal. The last name was my stepfather’s, so I don’t know my real last name. You understand I’m going to tell you only what I know based on a memory that’s more than forty years old?”
She nodded.
Without taking his eyes away from hers, he said, “My real first name is Jamison. It’s similar to my alias James, so I don’t want you thinking I’m trying to trick you or make it sound close on purpose. Some people called me Jamison. Some Jamie, Some James.”
He waited for her reaction. He hadn’t expected the wide smile.
“I believe you.”
He blew out a long breath.
“So, you don’t think I’m making it up to sound close to the new alias?”
“I know you’re not making it up.” She stood, walked toward him.
“How do you know that, honey?”
“Because I know your real name, Grizz. I probably know more than you do about your past.”
“How? How could you know anything about me? I don’t even know my real last name.”
She clasped his hands. “Your mother’s name was Francis Folsom. Her mother’s maiden name was Jamison. And I know it’s true because I’ve met your father.”