Grizz
2001, Fort Lauderdale
The urge to physically stop her from leaving the church was almost his undoing. He tried not to flinch when she said all those things. After all, he deserved them. But knowing she had a right to feel the way she did and actually hearing the words come out of her mouth were two different things.
She’d changed, and she was right. She was no longer the young girl he’d married. She was a woman who’d been twice-widowed and was now raising two children on her own. Gone was the vulnerable teenager he’d forced himself on twenty-five years ago. She’d grown into a strong, self-assured, take-charge adult.
And perhaps because of it, he realized he was more drawn to her now than he’d ever been before.
His heart had been in his throat as he’d stood in the doorway of her classroom, watched her without her knowing it. Her youthful figure had been replaced by a fuller, curvier version that had known two full-term pregnancies and childbirth. Having children agreed with her. She was absolutely perfect, and he’d never been more attracted to her.
One thing hadn’t changed. Her big brown eyes. Not even the slight creases at the corners took away from the soulful gaze that had always held him captive. Somewhere deep inside, he’d hoped seeing her would displace all the feelings he’d been tormented by over the years. Hoped she would be someone he’d always care about, but wouldn’t have the same hold on him.
But one look told him he was still utterly, deeply, and completely in love with her. Even more so, now that she displayed a maturity and strength that spoke to the woman she had become.
His woman.
He didn’t have a plan. Yet. But there was no way he’d walk away from her. He would fight for her, and there would be no losing. Because if he didn’t win her back, he would just take what he wanted. He always had, and he was convinced he’d never be able to change that.
But he’d do it the right way, for now. Her way.
**********
The next day he nonchalantly pushed his small cart through the aisles of the grocery store, catching sight of her in his peripheral vision. He knew she’d meant what she’d said the night before. That she was going on a date. He’d immediately called Anthony and was given access to a friend’s privately owned gym. There was a back room used for illegal fighting, and Anthony was more than willing to go a couple of rounds with Grizz, let him take out some frustrations.
“Not the face, fucker,” Anthony had told him. “I’m taking Christy out tonight. If I come home with a bloody face, she’ll be pissed.”
“Not a problem,” Grizz said as he punched Anthony in the stomach.
He wished now that he’d given Anthony the same rule. Grizz was now sporting a bruised and swollen cheek. The pain at first was welcomed. Now he realized the bruises might give Kit—Ginny—the wrong impression.
Anthony’s guy had reported back that she was a creature of habit on Sundays. Church, breakfast at the local pancake house with a few church friends, and then the grocery store. After all those years with him, he thought he’d taught her better.
Now, he just waited for her to come down his aisle and notice him. When she did, she stopped and stared.
“Hmph! I see some things never change,” she hissed almost to herself after seeing his swollen face. “Are you following me?”
He shrugged. “Where are the kids?”
“Thank God they’re not with me.” Her eyes flashed. “Mimi babysat for the Bears last night and slept there, and Jason spent the night with a friend. Are you insane?”
“Not insane. Just hungry,” he said casually, concentrating hard on the box of cereal he clutched.
She looked up and down the aisle. They were alone.
“I cannot believe you had the nerve to show up at my grocery store!” Her voice grew louder. “How dare you follow me?”
“I didn’t follow you, it’s not your grocery store, and I can shop wherever and whenever I want.” He could feel her glare as he continued to stare at the cereal. “So how was your date last night?”
“That is none of your business!”
“Well, I’m glad you’re moving on, Ginny. You deserve to be happy.” He almost choked on his words.
She wanted him to believe she was genuinely happy for him, so maybe he’d just let her think he was genuinely happy for her. Which couldn’t be farther from the truth. He’d never gone to high school, so he didn’t know what kind of games kids played with each other, but he was pretty certain it went something like this. Who knows, maybe he’d enjoy this a little bit.
She huffed off, and he purposely didn’t watch as she finished her shopping, paid, and left the store.
But the wind left his sails after he paid for his groceries and headed for his car.
Was this really how he wanted to play this? It had only been ten minutes, and he was already emotionally exhausted. It only verified in his mind how he’d become the person he was. He never had time for such nonsense, and he sure as hell didn’t have time for it now. As far as taking what he wanted, how the hell was he going to do that when there were children to be considered? Could he see himself being a father to Mimi and Jason?
If he let himself think about it, yes, he thought he could. There was a desire deep inside that kept calling to him, but he hadn’t been able to pinpoint it. He’d always thought it had been Ginny, and yes, she was a major part of that, but he also realized while sitting at Tommy’s funeral that there was something else he yearned for. Something he’d never experienced and wanted to try.
He wanted to be part of a family.