Grizz
2002, Fort Lauderdale
Grizz watched from the bench as the woman seated herself at a small table by the restaurant window and perused the menu as she waited for someone to join her. He held the newspaper up to block his face and would occasionally lower it so he could see just over the edge. He didn’t know what he wanted to see, needed to see. He just knew he felt compelled to watch Sarah Jo.
He thought about all the things that had happened in his life since before Christmas and up until the anniversary of Tommy’s murder. He remembered being unsure as to whether or not to accept an invitation to Ginny’s for Christmas dinner. He’d made sure not to ever show up at her home uninvited like he’d done so many months before, when he’d driven Mimi home from the grocery store. It was probably for the best that he’d stayed away, yet he couldn’t resist the invitation to spend Christmas with them. He knew Mimi and Jason were beginning to accept him.
He smiled when he thought about the confirmation he’d received that Christmas day.
“Hey, you two are standing under the mistletoe!” Jason grinned. “You know what that means.”
It was Christmas night, and Grizz had been standing in their foyer getting ready to leave when Jason’s words interrupted their goodbyes. His emotions were scattered as he warred with wanting very much to kiss her, grateful that Jason wanted him to and wondering how to pull it off without it being too awkward. He was extremely mindful of the fact that this was their first Christmas without Tommy, and the last thing he wanted to do was appear disrespectful in Tommy’s home.
“What are you waiting for?” Mimi had teased.
He took Ginny gently by the shoulders and softly kissed her forehead.
“Thank you for a delicious dinner,” he’d told her. “And a wonderful day.”
“Ah, that’s no kiss,” Jason said, laughing.
Setting memories of Christmas aside, he now watched as another woman made her way to the table and Sarah Jo stood to give her a hug. Her name was April. She had been married to a man named Stephen, and they had both been to his and Ginny’s home in Shady Ranches many times back before Grizz’s arrest in 1985. They were a nice couple, and he’d recently asked Ginny about them.
“I noticed Stephen was at Tommy’s funeral, but he wasn’t with April. He was with some redhead. What happened to April?”
“They divorced a few years back. Nothing bad. I guess they just grew apart.” Ginny looked thoughtful. “April’s settled down with someone new since then, but Stephen hasn’t. She said he’s having too much fun being single. Apparently, he enjoys chasing a certain body part around. It’s a new woman every month.”
“A certain body part?” He gave her an odd look. “You mean his dick? He’s chasing his dick around?”
“Yes, that’s what I mean, and that’s what he’s been doing. They’ve stayed friends, but I have to tell you, April is not only a natural beauty, but she’s a genuinely sweet and caring person. He’s been seeing women that seem a little...I don’t know...edgier. Just so different from her. They seem to have a different look, too. It’s odd.”
“I have to agree. I remember the woman from the funeral.” He paused before adding, “So how long has his dick been vision-impaired?”
Ginny gently scolded him and said Stephen’s new girlfriends weren’t unattractive, just different. In characteristic Grizz fashion, he disagreed with her and told her he thought the redhead was downright ugly.
He now laid the newspaper aside and stood to leave. He had just ducked behind the side of a brick building when he decided to look over his shoulder. Sarah Jo just happened to glance up and quickly looked away. Her eyes returned to the spot where she was certain she’d just seen something that couldn’t be.
It wasn’t the first time since Christmas that her eyes had played tricks on her. She was certain she’d spotted him several times, but she knew it was impossible. What was wrong with her? Why was her brain screwing with her like this? Was it guilt over the falling out she’d had with Tommy? Guilt over the subtle way she’d drifted away from her tight friendship with Ginny?
Funny how that had been Tommy’s goal and she’d resisted it, yet it’s what was happening anyway. Whatever was behind the reason for her recent Grizz sightings, she needed to shake it off before it drove her crazy. After saying goodbye to April, she headed back to work.
Grizz drove back toward his side of town, lost in thoughts about why he’d begun spying on Sarah Jo in the first place. It wasn’t until Christmas night when he’d gone home to Laurel Falls that something small and insignificant that Ginny had said at Christmas dinner triggered a memory. The memory had been nagging at him since reading Moe’s journal. He knew there was something lurking in the back of his mind that kept poking at his subconscious, but he could never bring it to the surface, like when a song lyric or movie line keeps replaying itself in your mind but you can’t place the singer or the actor that said it. Then, one day, when you’re doing something totally irrelevant, it lets itself be known.
That’s what happened Christmas night. He was drifting off to sleep when he remembered who’d used the term “tit for tat.” He hadn’t even caught it when she gave the eulogy at Tommy’s funeral, but when he did remember it, it came on him like a steel hammer to the head. He’d convinced himself all those years ago that it had been Willow who had used that phrase. He’d been wrong—and he knew Tommy must’ve been smart enough to have caught it when reading the journal.
He also knew Tommy had died in the very hospital where Sarah Jo and her husband worked. Did he really succumb to his injuries? Or was it something else?
He didn’t have to think about whether or not Tommy’s shooting was planned or random. Anthony Bear’s sources were too reliable. It was not a setup by Sarah Jo or anyone else. But Tommy dying in Sarah Jo’s hospital—he couldn’t shake it.
And he wouldn’t bring it up with Ginny. The few times he’d mentioned Sarah Jo, Ginny talked fondly about her, though she confessed that they weren’t as close as they used to be. He’d asked her if it was of her choosing or Sarah Jo’s. She looked thoughtful when she said they’d started to grow apart after his execution in 2000. Right afterward, Jo’s husband had started interviewing for jobs outside the country.
He couldn’t help but wonder.
He didn’t know why he felt compelled to watch Jo. It must’ve been an instinct left over from his old life. Would he allow himself to exact revenge on the woman? He honestly hoped not, but the call of that old life occasionally taunted him.
He was relieved when Ginny and the kids stoically made it through the one-year anniversary of Tommy’s passing. He kept his distance, giving them the space he thought they needed. He felt like he’d held his breath for the week after that dreaded anniversary, but life continued. The one thing he couldn’t continue to avoid and didn’t know how to handle was Jason’s constant invitations to public events.
He was now in his back yard throwing the ball for Rocky when the cell phone in his pocket buzzed.
“Hey, baby, I was just thinking about you,” he said into his flip phone.
“Hey, yourself. What are you doing?” Ginny asked.
He smiled. “Throwing the ball with Rocky. Well, I’m throwing. He’s retrieving it.”
“The kids and I just drove through Dairy Queen. We were wondering if we could stop by. They have something they want to ask you.”
Ten minutes later, Jason was presenting Grizz with a vanilla milkshake that had obviously suffered on the drive over.
“Mom said she remembered vanilla was your favorite flavored milkshake,” Jason said, handing over the tall cup. “You know, from when you used to be married to her.”