Ginny
2000, Fort Lauderdale (After the Execution)
I removed the diamond earrings from the little stuffed gorilla and carefully placed them in the pocket of my jeans. I would never wear them, but maybe I could give them to Mimi one day. It didn’t require an immediate decision.
Thinking of Mimi brought to mind Perry, the therapist Tommy and I had been seeing. We knew we needed to tell Mimi that Tommy was not her biological father, not to mention figure out what to say in case she wanted to know who he was. Perry was walking us through that, and we were making some positive headway during our sessions. But while a part of me felt it was good to consult an expert, I still had reservations as to whether we needed someone to advise us.
It had only been a few weeks, but Tommy had been doing some bonding of his own with Mimi recently, which seemed to be helping. When she was younger, they used to go on daddy-daughter dates the second Tuesday of every month. Tommy would take Mimi out, just the two of them, and they would do whatever she wanted. I have to give him credit—he saw the inside of more skating rinks, movie theaters, and clothes stores for little girls than most fathers. And, of course, he always let her choose her favorite restaurant for dinner. I think Tommy ate enough fast food over the course of the years to last him a lifetime.
But a few years ago, she’d started making excuses not to go. We chalked it up to the dreaded teenage years; not sure if she suddenly found it embarrassing to be seen going out with her father or if it was the same withdrawal I’d experienced from her. But whatever the reason, it didn’t matter now. Tommy was insistent that they spend time together, and we were relieved she’d been willing. Now, when I’d ask him how their recent “date” had gone, he would tell me they were getting to know each other again. He was trying to build trust for what we needed to tell her.
I could only pray this wouldn’t be shattered when it was finally time to reveal the truth.
Shutting the door to the guesthouse, I marched down the steps and saw Carter on the side of the main house fiddling with the hose. She turned it off and approached me, her smile fading as she came closer and noticed a change in my posture. I approached her stiffly, the resolve in my eyes obvious.
I met her halfway and said evenly, “I’ll call the paper to run an ad for the cars and bikes. I’ll probably get some people who’ll be interested. If I can’t make it over to meet them, would you mind doing it?”
“Of course, I don’t mind, Gin.” She absently brushed her hair away from her face and peered at me. “I’m here most of the time.”
I thrust my chin in the air. “Listen, I think it’s time for you to start using the guesthouse again. I know you always have your activist friends coming and going, and sometimes you limit the invites because you can’t accommodate them all. So, well, feel free to start using the garage and the guesthouse, okay?”
“Yeah, sure. That’s great. Thanks for that.” Her voice was quiet, and she hesitated. “Are you okay, Gin? I mean, the Bible, Delia’s letter, knowing he’s...I guess it’s been one rough morning for you.”
I didn’t answer her as we both stared at each other. I looked down when I realized what I was holding, then roughly shoved the small cardboard box at her.
“And another thing—I need a favor. Can you make sure this goes out with tomorrow’s garbage? There’s nothing in there that I need or want. I’ll get my Bible next time I see you.”
Giving her no time to reply, I made a beeline for my car. I drove off without giving Carter or my old home a backward glance, all the while trying to convince myself that any feelings I may have still had for Grizz would be tossed in the garbage along with the box of mementos.
**********
I got home earlier than expected and didn’t know what to do with myself. For the first time in a very long time I felt listless, without purpose. Maybe it was because I’d put most of my activities on hold while we were getting our lives back in order after Grizz’s execution. Hmph. Execution.
I could take a look over some of my new accounting clients’ books. I was caught up, but I always found myself diving in to check and double-check myself. I loved working with the numbers. But not today. I wasn’t in the mood.
I could work on my Sunday school lesson. Preparing the children’s lessons always brought me calmness and peace, especially when I was upset about something. Not that I was upset. I was just so organized that I’d scheduled more time than needed to clean out the garage and guesthouse, and since that hadn’t taken long at all, I had some free time on my hands. That was all.
I paced the house. I could call Sarah Jo to see if she was up for a quick lunch, but something held me back. Every time I’d tried to get with Sarah Jo in the past several weeks, she was tied up trying to arrange her move.
I changed the kitty litter, unloaded the dishwasher, wiped down the refrigerator, and swept the kitchen and back patio. I was putting the broom and dustpan away when I looked at the clock on the kitchen stove and realized it wasn’t even lunchtime yet. I could surprise Tommy at the office and take him to lunch. Or, I could surprise him with something else. Something really special. Yes—that was it.
I headed upstairs to take a quick shower and change. I could only hope he didn’t already have plans. Of course, I knew when he saw me, he’d know exactly what I had in mind and would immediately cancel any plans he may have had.
Less than an hour later, I walked through the doors of Dillon & Davis Architects. Eileen wasn’t at her desk, so she must’ve already left for lunch. Good. That’s what I’d hoped. I’d seen Tommy’s car in the parking lot, but his office door was closed, so I knew he might be in there with clients. I was approaching his door to tap lightly and peek my head in when I heard a long, low whistle.
“Looks like my man Tom is going to get lucky this afternoon. What are you doing here, Gin? And isn’t it a little warm for stockings and stilettos?”
I recognized the voice immediately and grinned as I turned to see Alec Davis, Tommy’s partner. Before I could answer him, the phone on Eileen’s desk rang, and Alec reached for it, mouthing, “Excuse me.”
Alec was a nice guy. A good guy. We’d been friends with Alec and his wife, Paulina, for a couple of years. I’d never really warmed up to Paulina. There was something just a little off about her that I never could quite tap into. She was pleasant enough when we had a rare business dinner, but it seemed whenever we’d tried to socialize outside of work, she had some excuse. There were many instances when Alec would show up with his two little boys in tow for a barbecue or other activity that Paulina had begged out of at the last minute.
I’d wondered on more than one occasion if something was wrong. By all outward appearances, they seemed like the perfect couple. Alec was extremely handsome, successful, charismatic, and by all accounts a great husband and father. He had light brown eyes, dark brown hair that was long enough to cover the back of his shirt collar, and a prominent dimple in his left cheek. He was tall, about Tommy’s height, and slender but not too thin. I knew he was a runner—not a jogger, like me, but a serious runner. He also must’ve spent some time with weights at the gym. It was obvious the first time I saw him at the beach. The tattoos running up and down both arms and covering his chest had surprised me. They did little to hide the fact that he had some amazing abs and heavily muscled biceps. I hadn’t expected that beneath the formal work attire I’d always seen him wear. I hadn’t drooled over someone as handsome as him since the first time I’d laid eyes on Anthony Bear all those years ago.
Paulina’s coloring was in sharp contrast to Alec’s. She had dark brown eyes and light hair. Her creamy skin only highlighted the deep chocolate of her eyes, and she kept her naturally curly hair short so that it framed her perfect oval face. She had a body that most women would envy, especially after having two children, and a beautiful and wide bright smile framed with naturally pouty lips. Sadly, her smile never seemed to reach her eyes.
I sat in the empty seat beside Eileen’s desk and recalled a conversation from that first family beach trip. I’d been sitting in the beach chair by myself, watching as Tommy and Alec roughhoused in the water with my Jason and Alec’s two boys. Mimi wasn’t with us. Paulina had noticed a friend a few blankets down and had gone over to say hello. Alec had left Tommy in the water with the three kids and approached me with a smile.
“These kids are wearing me out. Don’t know where your husband finds the energy.” He reached for a towel and stood next to me, drying off. He squinted over at Paulina, and we both saw she and her girlfriend were taking a walk down the beach away from us.
Alec’s swim trunks were heavy with the weight of the water, and they were slipping down below his waist. I’d started to look away when I noticed strange-looking scars on his right hip. He caught my glance and answered my unspoken question.
“Bullet wound,” he said matter-of-factly.
He must have read the expression on my face because he quickly added, “Don’t worry. I didn’t rob a bank and get in the middle of a shootout or anything like that. Can’t even claim to be a war hero and injured in the line of duty. Nope. My brother and I found my grandpa’s shotgun in his barn when I was about ten years old. I’m lucky it didn’t actually take my head off.”
“I thought it looked serious.” I sat up and took my sunglasses off to get a closer look. “Looks like a lot of little scars around it.”
“Shrapnel from the blast.” He towel-dried his hair. “Still bothers me sometimes. Even after all these years.”
“I had a friend once who was shot. Grazed his rib cage and ended up in his side. I remember him occasionally mentioning that it bothered him.”
I was referring to the time Grizz got shot. We’d been living at the motel then, and he’d come home with a bullet in his side. This was about six months before he got stitches in his head for smacking into one of the planters I’d hung outside our door. Yes, I was familiar with serious wounds and had seen Grizz stitched up on many occasions, though I didn’t tell Alec any of this.
“Not unusual,” Alec said casually as he bent over the cooler to get a drink. “I asked my doctor once if it was a phantom pain. He told me it was more likely the nerves that got damaged didn’t heal correctly. The doctors did all they could do to repair them, but it’s not a guarantee. Sometimes they kick in and do their own thing. It’s not really painful anymore, more like I’m aware that I was hurt there. Is that how your friend described it?”
I didn’t answer him, saved by the rest of the troop who had made their way out of the water and were asking for towels.
The sound of the phone being returned to its base brought me out of my daydream, and I stood up. Self-consciously, I tugged at my skirt, as if pulling on it could bring it closer to my knees. I hadn’t given any thought to running into someone other than possibly Eileen at Tommy’s office. I knew my response sounded lame, but I came up with the best excuse I could think of.
“I’m supposed to meet a new client later. Thought I’d stop in to see Tommy first...since my new client is near here and all.”
I looked at the floor. I was the worst liar in the world, and I knew it, and obviously Alec did too. I could see in his eyes he knew exactly the reason I was there. I was certain I turned beet red.
He shook his head. “The lucky bastard is out with Eileen. She was having some car trouble, and he offered to ride along with her to some repair shop. That’s why his car is still outside.”
“Oh. Well, I guess I’ll just be heading out then. Can you tell him I came by? I wanted to take him to lunch before my meeting.” I didn’t mention that before taking my husband to lunch, I was going to lock his office door, pull the fancy blinds closed and give him the hottest sex he’d ever experienced.
My cheeks flushed, and I struggled to sound normal as I secretly prayed my carnal intentions weren't so obvious. I didn’t know what was wrong with me. Just that I had a burning need to seduce Tommy, an insatiable need to feel him inside of me. For lack of a better or more eloquent description, I was there to bang his brains out and then take him to a restaurant, where I wanted to convince him over a quick lunch to check into a motel for another hour instead of going back to work. It could all be wrapped up in time for me to be home when Jason got off the school bus.
Alec stood there with his hands in his pockets and looked at me sideways with a grin.
“I’m no replacement,” he held up his hands, “but I would be more than happy to take a pretty lady to lunch. That is, if she would do me the honor of her company.”
I smiled and relaxed. This was Alec. Our friend. A happily married father of two.
“Of course. I’d love to have lunch with you. Thank you for asking me.”
He held his arm out to me. “But if he shows up and sees your car, you won’t be able to surprise him later.”
I agreed to drive and steered him toward my parking spot.
At Alec’s suggestion, we ended up at Bella Roma’s, a small but excellent Italian restaurant on the ocean side of A1A just a little north of the office.
“We don’t need to go someplace so fancy for lunch, Alec. Seriously. I’d be just as happy with Denny’s.”
“I invited you. And besides, we can’t let you be all dressed up with nowhere to go.”
I knew he was teasing about my overdressed state and laughed along with him. Lunch was pleasant and friendly until it turned serious.
Alec confided that Paulina had left him and the boys. She hadn’t been happy for years and had been on a series of antidepressants.
“I guess she just couldn’t find her happy place.” His normally cheerful expression looked downright melancholy. “I think she was looking for it in all the wrong things. You know what I mean, Gin?”
“No.” I frowned. “What do you mean ‘the wrong things’—the medication?”
“She thought happiness could be bought. New car, bigger house. When that didn’t make her happy, she thought children would be the answer. They only depressed her more and gave her a sense of responsibility she didn’t want. You had to have sensed it, Ginny. I’ve seen you with your children. They’re your life. Paulina considers our children the end of hers.”
“Oh, Alec, I’m just so sorry. Tommy hadn’t said anything to me. And I guess you probably know we were having some problems of our own.”
I looked away uncomfortably, not knowing how much, if anything, Tommy had told Alec.
“Don’t be sorry. I haven’t told him a lot. I knew you two were dealing with some issues of your own, and I didn’t want to burden him.”
“So where is she? Does she come around to see the boys? Are you on friendly terms?”
I was curious about their situation but also trying to turn the conversation away from my and Tommy’s recent problems, subconsciously kicking myself for mentioning it in the first place.
“She’s out ‘finding herself.’” His voice was casual, and he was momentarily distracted as he handed the waitress his credit card.
“So there’s a chance she’ll find herself or whatever it is she’s looking for and come back to you, then. Right?” I had to be careful how I tread here. It wasn’t too long ago that I’d left Tommy to do some thinking of my own. I was reminded of a Bible verse: Judge not lest thou be judged.
He looked down. “I’d take her back, but she’s never coming back.” The waitress returned, and he signed the receipt.
Before I could decide whether or not it was polite to ask why, he answered my question for me. “She’s out finding herself with her yoga instructor.”
I was shocked—another man was involved. I had to admit I was surprised. I couldn’t imagine Paulina finding a man who could come close to replacing Alec. In my opinion, he seemed to be the epitome of everything a woman could want. But I didn’t live inside their marriage and had no right to speculate, I quickly reminded myself.
“Have you met him? Do you know his name or anything?”
“Yes, I have met him,” Alec said drily. “He’s a she, and her name is Sherry.”
I didn’t know what to say so I didn’t say anything. I’m sure I just stared at Alec with my mouth open.
He smiled warmly at me then. “We need to get back to the office so you can see Tom and then meet your client.”
I looked at my watch and realized we’d been eating lunch for over two hours. Where had the time gone?
“Oh, no! I won’t have time to see him. I have to get going so I can be home when Jason gets off the school bus.”
“I’m sorry, Ginny. I hadn’t realized the time either. I hope this doesn’t look bad for that client you were supposed to meet.” He looked at me with a knowing expression, a playful smile on his lips.
I gave him a sideways smile. “You and I both know there’s no client, so stop being a smart-aleck.”
We both laughed at my pun. His eyes grew serious then.
“I hope Tom appreciates what he has. You are definitely a rare gem, Ginny.”
There was something in his look and the way he said it that sent a small thrill through me, but I told myself it was nothing. What forty-something woman doesn’t want to hear herself compared to jewels?
I brushed it off as lighthearted banter between two friends and let him walk me out to my car.
After hastily dropping Alec off in the parking lot at Dillon & Davis Architects, I sped home as fast as I could so I could change into clothes that wouldn’t have my son questioning where I’d been.
I’d have to surprise Tommy another time.