Chapter Eighteen – Louise

As I stir in my bed moments before my alarm kicks off I feel like a weight has been lifted from my chest. Speaking to Oliver last night, learning more about his – admittedly very stupid – plan, and the way that he’s been living his life up until this point makes me feel a lot better. I’m closer to him now, he’s opened up to me a little bit, and I feel more connected to him. It also proves to me that I’m not the worst judge of people, Oliver isn’t a terrible person. Maybe he hasn’t always been the best person either, but that’s okay. He’s human, flawed, just like the rest of us.

I smile to myself and turn onto one side where I stare at the wall for just a few moments. I need a minute to gear myself up. The longer my pregnancy goes on for, the more tired I become, it gets harder and harder to get up in the mornings. I wonder how I’ll cope when I’m nine months along with a belly like a ball. I’ll probably have to be rolled out of bed like a whale. It would be funny if it wasn’t so tragic, and accurate, and if I actually had someone to roll me and I’m not going to be alone.

Ring, ring… Ring, ring… Ring, ring…

With a deep sigh, I turn the other way and grab my cell phone off the side. I don’t recognize the number written across the screen so I hit answer without much thinking about it. “Hello?”

“Hello, is this Louise from apartment two oh nine? It’s Bill Brew, the landlord.”

I bolt upright in my bed and I open up my eyes that much wider. Bill only ever calls me when there’s an emergency which means there must be something bad going on. I spin my brain back trying to work out the last time I paid the rent, but I’m pretty sure that I’m up to date.

“Hi, Bill. What’s going on?” I rub my forehead hard. “Is everything okay?”

“Well, not really.” His tone is too grave. I don’t like it one bit. “I have to sell the building, so unfortunately everyone has to move out. I know that this isn’t great news, so I’m giving everyone a month to find somewhere new to go to. Erm, just know that I wouldn’t do this if I didn’t have to.”

“I have to move?” It’s too early for this kind of revelation. “I’m getting kicked out?”

“I don’t want you to think of it like that, but yes. I mean, effectively you need to live somewhere else so yes. I will be sending this all to you in a letter, but I wanted to let you know first.”

Fuck. This is horrible. I’m about to lose my home. The only reason that I’ve been able to live here for such a long time is because the rent is so low. Bill never bothered to raise it, even when all the other landlords did. I always thought that I would stay here until I was done with college and about to get a real job. I never thought I’d end up homeless and completely unable to fund another home for myself. Mind you, this is just one more thing that’s sending me off the track of my life. The baby, Oliver, getting behind in my work, and now this. Now I’ll be living on the streets.

“Right, thank you,” I whisper. “Erm, thank you for letting me know.” Why am I thanking him? He’s giving me the worst news ever. “I’ll speak to you soon, Bill.”

As I hang up the phone, I bolt towards the toilet. For the first time since I got pregnant I’m actually about to be sick. Real sick, not just nausea. I make it into the bathroom and lean over the toilet while hot, disgusting vomit spills past my lips. As I puke, my brain spins wildly as I try to work out what the hell I’m going to do next. One month isn’t anywhere near enough time for me to get myself together, I’m never going to be able to afford rent and deposit. It just isn’t going to happen. So, what I’m going to have to do is find somewhere to stay. Since I don’t have any family, that’s out. Julia is a possibility but I know her apartment is already absolutely stacked. There isn’t much room with her. I might have to stay there for a couple of days, but that’s all I’ll be able to achieve. Even that won’t be enough. It doesn’t buy me anywhere near enough time to get rich.

Fuck. Once I’ve finished being sick, I step into the shower and scrub myself rapidly. I clean myself as much as I can, then I brush my teeth, all while on complete autopilot. Even as I pull my clothes on and I get myself ready for work, I don’t really know what I’m doing. Every single time it feels that things are going really well for me and I’m finally coming to terms in life but then something else comes out of nowhere and it knocks me for six. This is just another horrible obstacle that I have to overcome. Admittedly, it’s a bit more challenging that ‘I’m pissed off with Oliver’ but hopefully I’ll find a way. I need to try and remain positive anyway. If I crack and fall apart, I don’t know how I’ll be able to pull myself back up. I’ve survived this, and I can live through more. I can, I’m sure of it. I need to at least try.

***

I spot Oliver the moment I step into the office, and as I see him my heart skips about ten beats. Every so often it hits me how much I like him, how attracted I am to him, and how I wish he could be mine. Urgh, it hurts so damn badly, but I need to reel it in. I’m already messy enough.

“Hey, Oliver.” I try to keep my tone fake and happy, but I can see in his face he doesn’t totally believe it. “How are you today?” I grab a coffee cup and pour myself a drink. “All okay?”

“Yeah, yeah fine. How about with you?” He narrows his eyes at me. “You good?”

“Erm, yeah sure. I’m okay.” My smile gets faker and faker. “All good. Looking forward to a busy day ahead of us. I presume that we have lots of patients booked in?”

“Yep.” He pushes himself upwards and walks towards the door. “Which is why we should probably get into the office now. We have some paper work to catch up on.”

I know that isn’t the truth, I’m pretty sure that he just wants to talk to me, so I go with him. Actually, the only good thing about this problem is that it’s easy to talk about. It’s hard to deal with but it isn’t as embarrassing as the last few problems I’ve had to discuss.

As soon as we get into the office he clicks the door behind him and he spins to face me with a determined expression on his face. “Right, Louise, what’s going on with you right now? I can already tell that you aren’t okay, so spill it over. I think we’ve already proven that keeping things inside isn’t helpful.”

“No, no I’ll tell you it’s okay,” I chuckle as I think about how many ridiculous conversations we’ve had to have. This is the craziest doctor, trainee relationship of all time. “It isn’t anything too painful, I just…” Urgh, all of a sudden it sticks in my throat again. “I got a phone call this morning that my apartment building is being sold so I have to move out in less than a month’s time.”

“What?” Oliver looks horrified. “Don’t they have to give you more time than a month? Surely there’s a legal case that you have here. I’m sure there’s something you can do…”

“No, no.” I hold up my hands to stop him. “I’m sure there is and under any other circumstances I would want to fight this to the bitter end, but this isn’t the best time for me. I’m about to have a baby and I cannot deal with this. Especially with that, I’ll probably end up having to move out anyway. It won’t change the fact that I really can’t afford it and I don’t have anywhere to go.”

Oliver’s face contorts, I can see all the emotions crossing his face. I have a horrible feeling that he’s about to offer me money which will suck. I’ll need it and a part of me will want to take it, but I can’t. I cannot take money that I can’t afford to pay back and I hate owing people stuff. I just won’t be able to do it. As he parts his lips, I brace myself, I wait for the dreaded words to fly out of his mouth.

“Why don’t you come and stay with me?” he says instead, shocking me to the core.

“Huh?” I’m gob smacked, I barely even know what to say. “What do you mean?”

“Okay, look.” Oliver stares at me intently. “I have a big apartment, like a huge space. There is so much room in there it’s ridiculous. There’s no point in me living there alone while you live on the damn streets. You can have your own room, your own bathroom, it won’t even be like I’m there.”

Oh my God, his words are too much, it’s the sort of offer that I didn’t even dare to wish for. A home, somewhere to stay where I won’t be in the way and that I can stay for a while, during which time I can actually sort my life out. It’s too good to be true, which of course means I can’t take it.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” I gush desperately. “I mean, thank you so much for the offer, but I don’t want to impose. I feel like I’ve already done that enough…”

“You honestly wouldn’t be imposing. Honestly. I wouldn’t make the offer if I didn’t mean it. You can come and crash at mine, no issues, while you get yourself sorted out. That way you can save up and get yourself a decent apartment for you and the baby. I don’t mind even if you stay right until the end.” He laughs. “Hell, you can even stay after the baby has come. I don’t mind. My home could use some noise within it. It’ll be fun. Won’t it?”

It’s too much, I can see it in his face that he’s being serious with his offer, which makes it all the more touching. I hesitate just because I’m trying my hardest to find out why this could all go wrong, and I’m more than sure that it can, but I can’t think of any reasons right now.

“Erm, I mean, would that be alright?” I ask coyly. “I really don’t want to be a pain, but I don’t want to end up pregnant and homeless. If I had some family members left I’d bother them, but I don’t.”

Oliver touches my shoulder and he grins sincerely at me. “Louise, we are friends. What do friends do for each other? They help out. You would do the same for me, I’m sure of it.”

I would, I know that I would, so I nod. “Thank you so much, Oliver. I really appreciate this. I won’t be there for too long, I promise you of that. I won’t be there when the baby comes.”

Oliver laughs and nods. “Okay, well maybe that would be a little too much. I don’t know if I’d be any good with a baby, but until then… you’re welcome to stay for as long as you want. It’ll be fun to have you around.”

Fun… yeah, maybe. I’m not too sure about that, but it’s worth a try. I don’t have any other options anyway, so this is all I got.