Chapter Two – Louise

Nerves cascade through my body as I wait in line with the other trainees, all ready for the very first day of our practical training. This is weird, I’ve been working towards this day for a very long time, but now that it’s here I’m anxious as all hell. What if everything that I’ve learned in books doesn’t work out as good in practice? What if I fail hard and I truly embarrass myself? I’m already at a disadvantage since I’m the youngest one here, but that’s what I get for being smart and graduating early. I know I’m different and so do the others, I can tell by the way they leave me out.

“Okay,” a friendly looking woman says as she glances down at her clip board. “Thank you all for coming today. You have all been assigned to a doctor to shadow in the field of your interest, so when I call out your name please go in the direction that I point you in.”

I tuck my red hair behind my ear and brush my finger over my eyebrow. This is pretty much make or break for me. It depends on what doctor I get to which would decide how far I go with my career. This is so hugely important, I really need it to go well. I need a doctor who won’t mind a twenty two year old tagging after him or her. From my experience with gynecologists, they’re either amazing and really friendly, or cold and terrifying. I really need the former of the two.

Names are called out and people vanish rapidly, leaving me colder and more alone. All of a sudden, another feeling overcomes me, the horrifying sensation that I’ve been forgotten. I don’t want to be the last one standing here with no chance at progressing my career. I’ve given up so much for this! My intelligence always made sure I was in the classes with the older kids who didn’t want anything to do with me, which means I didn’t ever have a social life, I was always about work… I can’t lose out on all of that just because someone hasn’t written my name down on a piece of paper…

“Lousie Wilter.” I glance up, turning my thoughts off as my name is finally called. “You will be with Doctor Oliver Foxx.” Hmm, a male. Interesting. “He’s in room nine, down the hallway that way.” She points to her left and gives me a smile. “Give me a shout if you get lost.”

As I walk, my whole body buzzes with ice cold fear. I almost feel like my feet aren’t touching the ground, like I’m floating in air. My heart hammers violently in my chest, but I try my hardest not to let any of that show on my face. I need to act confident, until I feel it.

I lift up my shaking hand and I knock lightly on the door, probably too quietly for this doctor to hear me. I pause for just a second before I reach up and do it again, only this time with a lot more force. It’s probably too loud actually, I might have gone too far the other way…

“Come in,” a chocolaty smooth voice calls back to me, inviting me inside.

I push the door open and peer my head around it. Almost right away I’m nearly knocked to my feet by how gorgeous he is, which definitely isn’t where my brain should be going. This is the man I’m supposed to be shadowing, not getting the hots for. Just because he has dark hair, warm brown eyes, and tanned skin, doesn’t mean my heart has to skip a beat. It doesn’t matter that he has broad shoulders, chiseled cheek bones, and a cheeky smile that lures me in, I need to appear professional.

“Erm, I’m here to shadow you,” I say quietly, forgetting all my confidence tricks completely. I can even feel my cheeks heating up with embarrassment. “Are you Doctor Foxx?”

“Oliver.” He extends his hand out for me to shake it, which forces me to slide right into the room. “It’s nice to meet you… are you…” He looks down at a sheet of paper on his desk. “Louise?”

“Yes, yes I am.” Damn it. As he touches the skin of my hand I feel instant bolts of electricity racing through my body. It almost makes me jump backwards with shock, the feeling is so damn intense. I need to speak to cover it up. “Louise Wilter. It’s really nice to meet you.”

“I’m sorry, I have to ask you.” He runs his eyes up and down my body, pausing in the places that he probably shouldn’t which makes me think that maybe he felt that electricity too. “How old are you? Do you just look really young and beautiful, or are you much younger than the other trainees?”

Beautiful? Did he say beautiful? I’m not sure if I’m supposed to react to that or not. I pause for a moment and purse my lips, before deciding to ignore that comment and answer his question instead.

“I am younger, actually. I’m twenty one years old. I just graduated early.”

“Hmmm.”

I don’t know if he sounds impressed by my age or horrified that I’m so young and he’s stuck with me.

“Right, I see. Twenty one year old Louise.”

For some reason the way that he says that gets my back up. I don’t want him to have all the control of me. Just because I don’t have a lot of social and people experience doesn’t mean I don’t know what I’m doing. I’m smart, I know I can do this… well, theoretically I can. I need to make him see that I won’t be pushed around, I’ve got to set the boundaries early on.

“How old are you?” I demand while placing my hand on my hip. Maybe it’s wrong but I think if he can ask that then I can too. I hope it’s me showing fake confidence rather than me being rude.

“Actually, I turned thirty nine yesterday. So yeah, a little bit older than you.”

I’m not sure if that comment is pointed or not. Is he announcing that he’s obviously older than me for a reason? If so, what? I already know that he’s more experienced than me in his field, that’s obvious. But if not that, then what? I cock my head curiously at him and I give him a look.

“Right, I suppose we better get on with things then.” He straightens his back and glances around the room. “I think first I better show you where everything is in my office so you can grab it when need be, then I’ll discuss my methods with you. I want you to see how I work. I know you’ll sort out your own ways of doing things when you get your own office, but for now, we do things my way.”

Somehow, despite the fact that he’s saying something quite commanding, his tone isn’t harsh, so it makes my shoulders roll back and relax. I don’t mind people telling me what to do, it helps me to know where I stand. I don’t like confusion and blurred lines, that’s where I really struggle. When other’s have an unspoken code that I just don’t understand. That’s when I feel like I’m different. Weird.

“Fine, sounds good. You show me about the place. Tell me what needs to be done. I’m here to help you out. Whatever you need, I’m absolutely down.”

I cringe as those words fly out of my mouth, that probably sounded way too forward. Or crazy. I don’t know, I just hope that Doctor Oliver Foxx doesn’t think I’m dumb. Luckily, with the happy, non-judgmental expression on his face I think I might have gotten away with it. For now. I suppose it won’t be long until he works out how sheltered and closed off I am, but for now I’m happy to just go with it. He’ll be content with my work anyway, and that’s the most important thing.

“Right, well here’s where I keep all the patient records…”

As Oliver talks, I drink every single word in. My brain is just designed like that, that’s probably why I’ve always done so well in my education, but today there’s a second layer to this. I can’t seem to stop watching Oliver and feeling things all over my body. Tingles, more intense that I’ve ever felt before, racing down to my panties. I’ve been attracted to people before, I’ve even had a short lived fling with a guy named Jonathon while I was in college, but I never felt about him like I do right now. With Jonathon, I felt a connection because he was a lot like me, we were both people who graduated early, although he was still older than me, and I thought that was enough. I liked him, he was nice but he didn’t get me going the way that I feel right now. Maybe that’s why I didn’t care much when it fell apart. There wasn’t any heart break or tears, I accepted it with poise and grace.

Maybe that’s why I feel this way about Oliver now. He’s the complete opposite to Jonathon, and to me too. He’s over a decade older than me. Almost two decades, if I’m going to get picky about it, and he’s in a completely different place in his life to me. He’s successful and established whereas I’m just starting out. Of course he’s handsome and I find him attractive, he’s an actual real man whereas I’m much more used to silly boys who don’t know much of anything. He’s confident and self assured, probably seriously incredible in bed too. Like I don’t even want to know how good his hands would feel all over my body, touching me everywhere…

Stop it, I scold myself with a sharp shake of my head. This is effectively my boss for the moment. Just because he’s hot, doesn’t mean I need to be a freak about it.

I drag my eyes away and focus on my hands for a moment as I try to regain my sanity, but it doesn’t help at all. The images of Oliver, much too naked to be appropriate, are seared into my brain. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to think of anything else again. His hot, sweaty, nakedness… Oh God, I’m a mess. I didn’t even know that I enjoyed sex enough to miss it, but now I’m craving it so damn badly. It almost hurts a little bit. I cross my legs, squeezing my core, trying to keep my desperate need inside but I have the feeling that only draws Oliver’s eyes in more and makes him see just how I’m really feeling. He appears to be a man who just takes what he wants, no questions asked, no consequences considered. I don’t think someone inexperienced and naïve like me will be appealing to him at all. The look he’s giving me, the one that looks like he’s undressing me with his eyes, that must be something else entirely. That has to be me, projecting the desperate, crazy way that I am onto him. It can’t be anything else, there’s no way a man like him would like me. On top of everything, I’m much too young for him, which instantly puts a stop to anything anyway.

All I need to do is stop thinking about him. Easy peasy.

“You know what,” he finally says, really grabbing my attention. “I think it’s going to be a lot of fun working with you, Lousie Wilter. Loads of fun!”

I don’t know if his words are intended that way or not, but I can’t help but shiver violently. Maybe Oliver knows what he’s doing to me, or maybe this is all in my crazy brain. All I know for sure is that this training program is going to be far more challenging than I first assumed and for reasons I hadn’t even considered. How the hell am I going to get out of this alive?