Chapter Twenty Eight – Louise

“I don’t know if this is the right time,” I tell Oliver nervously while straightening out my top, an impossible task over my big round bulge. “This feels all kinds of wrong to me. Should we cancel?”

“No, no of course not.” Oliver shakes his head confidently, but actually he doesn’t look like he wants to go through with this either. “It has to be now. My parents aren’t here much, they’re always travelling the world so it kinda…” He trails off as he realizes that this probably isn’t his strongest argument. “Look, they are going to love you whatever. It’s all good. It really is fine.”

He wipes some sweat from his forehead and blows out a deep breath of air. The last few months together have been great. Maybe not all plain sailing, both of us have had our wobbles which sometimes leads to slight little rows, but all in all I couldn’t be happier. I’ve seen Oliver at best and worst, just as he has me, but at the same time I haven’t ever seen him like this. He truly is afraid.

“Okay.” I need to be cool for him, even if I don’t feel it myself. He needs me right now, and since he’s been there through everything for me, I don’t mind. “Okay, you’re right. This is going to be fine. I just need to keep my baby inside until your mom and dad are gone. No problem.”

It’s a massive problem since my due date was three days ago, but I plaster a fake smile on my face regardless. I get a deep twinge in my stomach but I grimace and do what I can to ignore it. It’s fine, just a little bit of pain, nothing to worry about. There’ll be plenty more where that came from.

“You’re right.” Oliver steps closer to me and he wraps his arms around me. He presses my head into his chest so I can hear his heart beating. It’s fast and frantic, yet it calms me down. “You’re right. As long as the baby doesn’t come, what can go wrong? It’s going to be fine.”

I part my lips, wanting to ask him what’ll happen if my baby does start coming, but I don’t get the chance to. A loud knock at the door proves to me that the nightmare has come to life. Oliver’s parents are here! I can’t believe I have to go through this right now, I really tried to make Oliver see that, but he wants this to be solid, he wants us to be real and a part of that involves getting to know his family. It’s hard for me because I’ve never really felt like part of a family unit, but maybe that’s something that I need to get used to. I’m going to be creating my own family soon.

“Right, let’s go.” Oliver gives me one last long, lingering look. “You ready?”

I barely give him a nod before he’s thundering towards the door leaving me with absolutely no choice but to follow him. I put the grin on my face and step out, not knowing what I’m about to head into. My stomach hurts a lot again but I ignore it all over again. This time I’m sure it’s just nerves.

The door slides open and I see an older couple who look a lot like Oliver. Instantly it’s obvious where he got all his looks from, his mother’s eyes and mouth, his father’s nose and cheek bones, he looks so much like them. Half of my brain wonders what my baby is going to look like and the other half wonders if I look like my own father. I only look a little bit like my mom so it’s possible…

“Hello there, dear.” Oliver’s mother steps forward and she extends a hand out to me. She looks really keen which relaxes and panics me all at once. All of a sudden, I’m acutely aware that I’m very young. I wonder if she’s looking at me like I’m a child. “It’s good to meet you. I’m Paula.”

“Oh, Paula, right.” I can feel my cheeks heating up with redness. “I’m Louise.”

“It’s very good to meet you, I’ve heard so much about you, but you’re even more beautiful than Oliver said. Then again, I think he was scared of me coming to meet you.” She glances back and smiles at Oliver’s unimpressed facial expression. “I don’t know if he’s told you that I’ve always been keen for him to find someone. I know he’ll be happy once he settles down, not that he listens to me.”

“Right, I see.” Yep, she’s intense. I don’t think I’m cut out for this. “He hasn’t said much about that. Mostly he’s just told me that you travel a lot. Where have you been recently?”

As Paula tells me all about somewhere she’s visited on the coast of Japan, I look over her shoulder at her husband. I wonder if he’s actually a quiet, laid back man or if he’s given up ever trying to get a word in edgeways. Maybe his wife has taken control so much that he can’t be bothered to try anymore. To be honest, if that’s the case then I really don’t blame him. I’d probably be the same.

“Wow, that all sounds lovely, Mom,” Oliver interrupts. “But shall we go and sit down?”

We all take the couch in the living room while Oliver goes to make us a selection of drinks for everyone. I sit opposite his parents, a seat I chose on purpose because I thought it would give me some separation but now I feel like I’m on trial. They’re both staring at me like I’m a mental person.

“So, how long have you and Oliver been together?” Paula asks in a much too breezy tone of voice while trying to look only at my face. “Like I said, he doesn’t tell me much.”

“Oh, I… I erm…” Shit, where the hell is Oliver? I can’t answer this right now. She wants to know about my baby and I’m scared shitless about answering her. I don’t know what I’m supposed to say. Maybe that’s something me and Oliver should have talked about beforehand. How the hell did we get this far and not discuss it? I’m shocked and appalled. I was so freaked out about this meeting that I didn’t think about anything practical. “I erm… I don’t… I’m not quite sure of the…”

“Not that long, Mom.” Relief floods me as Oliver comes back into the room. “Only a few months, but it’s going really well.” He puts the tray of drinks on the table and flings his hands onto his hips while he gives he a knowing look. “But if you have a question, please ask it.”

She averts her eyes as a pinkness stains her cheeks. “I don’t have anything…”

“Mom,” Oliver laughs teasingly. “It’s fine. You can ask. Since you already know that Louise’s baby isn’t mine I’m surprised you didn’t ask, but you can.” He takes my hand and smiles down at me. “We don’t mind. We know this is a surprise to everyone, but we’re doing great.”

“Oh right.” Paula bristles and she straitens her back, still not quite meeting my eye. “I see, I wasn’t about to… I’m not judgmental, I know these things happen, I was just… I don’t know…”

I feel bad for her, she’s making me feel guilty and Oliver is only making it worse. “Paula, honestly it’s fine. I know this isn’t normal and it’s been a bit of a struggle for both of us. But we’re getting there. I hope you don’t think…” I don’t know how to word this. “This isn’t me…”

“Oh no.” She claps her hands to her mouth in shock as she seems to understand what I’m saying. “No, I wasn’t thinking that at all. I don’t think you’re a user or anything. Trust me, I know my son well. He wouldn’t let anyone use him. No, that isn’t what I’m thinking.” Again, she’s totally flustered. “I’m just hoping that you’ve considered everything practical in this arrangement.”

I want to reassure her, to let her know that we have discussed a lot of things, but before I get a chance to speak the pain bursts free in my stomach once more. Only this time it’s so painful that I can’t help grunting and lean forwards to grip onto myself. I scrunch up my face and bite down on my bottom lip to stop myself from screaming out. This is too damn painful. I think I might explode!

“Oh my goodness, are you okay?” Paula gushes. “Oliver, when is the baby due?”

No, no, no! I think desperately. This cannot be happening now. All Oliver said was don’t give birth and it seems that’s what I’m doing. How can I stop it? I need to carry on as normal.

“Three days ago,” I gasp through gritted teeth. “Oh God, it hurts so bad.”

“Oliver, you need to get Louise to the hospital, right now. Go and get the car…”

“No, no don’t,” I insist as the pain subsides slightly. “Don’t worry, it’s stopping now. I’m going to be fine. Don’t worry, it might just be a contraction. I don’t think it’s anything to worry about yet.”

Paula looms over me, gripping onto my shoulders so I can stare at her while she talks. I can tell that she needs to see me when she speaks. She has an expression on her face that’s much too calm for my liking. I feel like I’m about to freak the hell out and start screaming and yelling at top volume.

“Louise, you do need to get to a hospital, trust me. I know. Any minute now your waters will break.” My heart rate kicks up a notch, the panic is burning so hot it hurts. Or maybe that’s just the early stages of birth. “I know you probably feel like you have time, but it’s better to be safe.”

I try my hardest to push myself into a standing position, but the pain keeps me pinned down. “Oliver,” I cry out desperately. “Oliver, help me. I’m scared. I need your help.”

His strong hands grip onto me and he pulls me up into a standing position. I drag my eyes up to meet his which makes his eyes glaze over with emotion. “Louise, oh my God. Are you okay? You look afraid, is there anything I can do?” I shake my head, unsure of anything at this point. All I know is that everything is messy, hot, and scary. “Louise, this is… there’s something that I should have said before… I don’t know why I didn’t… I… I…”

“Oh for goodness sake, Oliver,” Paula interjects cuttingly, sounding furiously angry at her son for his indecisiveness. “We haven’t got time for this, Louise is giving birth. Whatever it is, just say it.”

“I love you,” he blurts out unexpectedly, shocking me to the absolutely core. “Louise, I can’t believe it’s taken this long, but I do. I love you so much. I just… yep, I love you.”

“Oh my God.” His words sink in, but they don’t enough for me to answer his wonderful comment that I’ve been waiting for a very long time. I want to respond but I can’t because I’m absolutely soaking. “I think my waters have broken,” I gasp. “It’s happening, right now.”

“You’re going to be fine,” Paula assures me as she takes control of the situation. I’m thankful because someone has to and it doesn’t look like it’s going to be me. “I promise you. We’ll make sure you’re looked after and everything is okay. Don’t you worry about anything…”

Everything that’s been happening over the last almost a year have been leading up to this moment. Now everything will change forever. I don’t know how I feel about it all, but I don’t have any more time to work it out. This baby is coming whether I like it or not…