Chapter Twenty Seven – Oliver

“What is that noise coming out of your mouth?” Simon asks in a bemused sounding tone of voice from behind me. “Are you actually singing? And a love song at that. Oliver, what the hell…?”

I laugh loudly and roll my eyes while finishing idly stirring my coffee. “Alright, yeah, maybe I am singing. I don’t know.” I shrug and turn to face him with a grin. “Who cares?”

“I just don’t think I’ve ever seen you like this before.” He takes his seat and cocks his head to give me a curious look. “Something is going on and I want to know what. So, tell me. And before you start talking, just be warned that I think I already know so don’t lie to me, okay?”

I sit down next to him and let out a throaty laugh. “I wasn’t intending to lie to you.”

“Then why haven’t you told me already?” His cocked eyebrow suggests that he sees deep into me and he knows what’s going on. To be fair, he probably does. He knows me damn well and he’s also very observant. “I kept waiting for you to just tell me but since you haven’t I’m going to ask.”

I sigh loudly and nod. I have been trying to keep this to myself for all the really good reasons that Louise gave me, but Simon is different. I know he’ll keep it a secret, so it’ll be fine. “I only haven’t told you because I know that it’ll cause complications. It’s a little bit crazy, isn’t it?”

“You and Louise?” he replies without even an ounce of secrecy. Luckily there isn’t anyone else around. “Yeah, it is a bit crazy. I keep trying to work out what you’re doing. I mean, I know that she’s hot but after all the shit you got yourself in last time, is she really worth it?”

I nod vigorously. “Yes, she honestly is. This isn’t anything like the last time, I actually care about her.” I can feel myself getting moony eyed as I do. “I really like her, Simon. So much.”

“I have to ask you…” He leans in as if he’s afraid that someone might hear us. “Is the baby yours? I know that there’s some story about it belonging to an ex of hers, but it’s yours, right? It has to be yours. I mean, Oliver Foxx, playboy extraordinaire, would not be getting into a relationship if he didn’t have to. You can tell me if this is a ball and chain scenario, I won’t judge you.”

I roll my eyes and huff. Does he really think I’m like that? I suppose in the past I have been, but I’ve changed. I would think that my best friend would know that. “No, it isn’t like that. The baby really does belong to… an ex of hers.” It makes me cringe, but the lie is there to protect Louise’s reputation. “This isn’t anything to do with the baby. This is me and Louise.”

“Are you serious?” Simon rubs his hand through his hair giving me a very distressed look. “Have you thought this through at all? You can’t get into a complicated relationship with a woman who’s having another man’s baby. Do you even know how horrible that will be? How tiring?”

His words get caught in my chest and I can feel my lungs constricting. I suppose in all the romance of the situation has gotten the better of me and I haven’t really considered how it’s going to be afterwards. I’m going to be a step father, if me and Louise stay together. I won’t be the baby’s father but I’ll be the man in his life. I’ll be the one suffering through the sleepless nights and endless diaper changes. I suppose in an abstract way I’ve thought about it but now it’s really hitting me.

“I… I know,” I gasp, trying to keep my cool in the face of fear. “I know all of that.”

“Do you?” Simon pats me on the arm and gives me a sympathetic groan. “Because I’m not sure that you’re really thinking everything through. You aren’t just becoming a boyfriend – a word that you used to dread not that long ago – but you’ll be a father too. Can you be a daddy?”

Fucking hell, Daddy. I almost can’t breathe under the pressure that’s now resting on my chest. I need to get away from Simon before I really lose my shit. “Yeah, I just have to…” I stand up.

“Unless… is it love?” Simon grips onto my arm to stop me. “Are you in love with this girl?”

I know that it is, I’ve known it for a long time now but since I haven’t yet told Louise I don’t think it’s wise for me to tell Simon. I just give him a slightly desperate look and I turn on my heels to run from the canteen. I can barely breathe right now, which only proves to Simon that I’m not ready for this. Maybe he’s right or maybe he thinks I’m afraid of falling in love too. I think it’s everything.

I run through the hallway until I get into my office where I can finally be alone… only, I’m not alone. Louise is in here already, looking at me with nothing but shining love in her eyes.

“You back from coffee already?” she asks innocently, not knowing the emotional roller coaster that I’ve just been on. “Julia grabbed me a fruit smoothie which was awesome.”

I stare at her all wide eyed and in shock. I don’t know what’s going on in my brain at the moment, it’s everywhere all over the place, I think I might be falling apart. Those few words from Simon have ignited me and I don’t know what to do. It’s the idea of being a dad, I don’t know if I can do it or not. I want to be able to do it, but I don’t know how capable I am.

“Are you okay?” Louise asks me, taking one step closer to me. “You look… weird.”

I inhale deeply, breathing her in, and as I do the fog on my brain clears. I knew already that’s where all of this is headed. That’s what made me hesitate so much. When I dived in with both feet it was already decided that I would give it a go. That included being a father and it still does.

I don’t answer Louise, instead I step forward and I scoop her up in my arms. I no longer care that we’re at work, I just want to kiss her with absolutely everything that I’ve got. I press my lips into hers, probably stripping all the air from her body as I do. With Simon, everything did feel scary, but now that I’m with Louise it isn’t so frightening after all. I owe her the chance for me to give it my all.

“What are you doing?” She squeals, struggling to get away from me. “We can’t act like this.”

I don’t care anymore, the flame is deeply ignited within me, all I want to have her right here and now. Maybe it seems a little like it’s just a lust thing, but to me it isn’t. I want to hold her, to love her, to make love to her and it doesn’t matter that we’re in the office. We don’t have anyone in at the moment, so I know for a fact that we have time. I take Louise’s hand and tug her to my supply room.

“No one will see us in here,” I reassure her while taking her face in my hands. This time as I press my mouth to hers, Louise doesn’t resist. She molds into me and moans excitedly, loving this.

“Oh, Oliver,” she groans. “You have no idea what you’re doing to me right now.”

I press her back against the wall and I run my mouth all over her throat, kissing the parts of her that I know she enjoys. I flick my tongue, I lick all the sweet perspiration off her skin as I do. My hands run over his hips and grip her waist tight. Eventually I move my hand upright and I rub it over her swollen belly. No matter how scary it is for me, she’s doing something incredible, creating life. No matter what this means for me, for her it’s much more terrifying. I need to be here.

Eventually I slide my hand downwards and I dip it in to the waistband of her scrubs, feeling the edge of her cotton panties. A gasp of pleasure flies out of my mouth, she feels so good and the more that time passes the better she feels. Usually, the more time I spend with someone I grow bored with them, but with Louise I just want more and more. I dive my hand in and I feel her intense wet heat.

“Oh fucking hell. What I’m doing to you?” I grunt. “What about what you’re doing to me?”

I push my fingers needily into her, massaging her rapidly. Ragged, sharp breaths spill out of my mouth at a million miles an hour as I lose myself in the amazingness of her body. She’s a temple, a playground, and I want to explore every millimeter of her eventually. Luckily, if everything goes to plan I’ll have the rest of my life to do so. Or at the very least a long old time.

“I need you?” she gushes into my ear. “Oh, Oliver, I want you inside of me.”

I don’t need to be asked twice, I know how much she needs it, I can feel it so without pausing for even a second I spin her around so she can plant her hands up against the wall. Then I yank her trousers down and I pull my erection free. I have a condom to hand, which I roll down over myself and then I angle myself to plunge into her. She clamps tightly around me and throws her head back.

“That feels so good,” she moans lustfully. “Oh fucking hell.”

I thrust harder and faster, losing myself rapidly as I do. This is wild, we really shouldn’t be doing this, this is possibly the most taboo thing that I’ve ever done, but the wild thing is I don’t even care about it in this way, I just care about how much I really love this woman.

I bury my face into Louise’s neck as the pleasure gets too much for me and use one of my hands to reach around to her front to play with her clit. I trace over her, drawing patterns all over her until her thighs tense up and her walls clamp around me. Then I move faster, drawing the orgasm out for her, all the while thrusting so hard that it feels phenomenal for me as well. This passion, it’s unlike anything I’ve ever had before, and I hope it never ends. I want this to last forever.

“Oh shit, Oliver.” My names rolls off of Louise’s tongue maybe a little too loudly. “Fucking hell that feels… oh my God.” Clearly she can’t quite find the words to express how she feels. I understand that sentiment, I’m a bit like that myself. “It’s… it’s too much.”

A guttural yell flows from her lips which is music to my ears. I love the delicious sounds that she makes when the pleasure gets too much for her, it’s a sweet and musical sound.

I want to reply, I want to finally tell her those three magical words. She deserves to know that I love her. After all, she was brave enough to tell me that’s how she feels about me even if she’s only said it once, and I know I should tell her back, but for some reason this doesn’t feel like the right moment. I will just not yet…