Chapter Twenty One – Oliver

Everyone thinks that me and Louise are together now, even the people who work here with me. Despite the fact that it isn’t the case at all and we’re definitely nothing more than friends, I quite like that everyone thinks that. It’s certainly proven to me that I could have someone permanent in my life, and that maybe I actually might like it. I wouldn’t mind having a ‘girlfriend’, it wouldn’t be the worst.

“Hi there, Doctor Foxx,” Kelly declares in a seductive tone of voice as she slides into my office, bringing a perfumed aroma that fills the room with her. “How are you today?”

“I’m good thank you.” I give her a bright and genuine smile. “How are you?”

She glances her eyes everywhere as if she’s searching for something that she can’t find yet. “Where’s your student? I’ve heard quite a lot about her from other patients of yours.”

I don’t know what she means by that, I’m not sure if it’s a bitchy thing or just a curiosity request. I can’t quite tell from Kelly’s tone, but it doesn’t really matter either way. All of a sudden, I’ve managed to shake off the fear of other people talking about me, I don’t know why I cared at all.

“She’s not in today. She’s having a baby and not feeling too great.”

“Urgh, yeah.” Kelly rolls her eyes. “Tell me about it. Being pregnant is horrible. It’s all bloating and feeling sick and wanting to eat but not at the same time. A real barrel of laughs.”

As she lies herself on the examination table I cock my head and watch her. Objectively I can see that she’s gorgeous and I know what attracted me to her, but at the same time I don’t feel it anymore. There isn’t any excitement, no thrill, no anticipation that something is about to happen. I don’t really want anything to happen, I want to just act the professional that I should have always been.

“Right.” I flick the latex gloves onto my hands and I get my head in the game. “Let’s do this. Have you had any changes? Anything that concerns you? Or is this just a general check up?”

Kelly props herself up onto her elbows and she gives me the cheekiest smile. “I want the sort of check up that involves your assistant not being here. So, for once I’m glad for pregnancy troubles.”

I cringe inside. I should have known this was coming. There’s no way that Kelly can know that my opinion on everything has changed. How can she be expected to understand that something’s shifted within me and I don’t know where my head is at anymore? And how the fuck am I supposed to explain that to her? Especially since I don’t have a girlfriend to use as a barrier.

“Oh well, I don’t think that’s possible today. I’m under observation from the higher ups.”

“No, you aren’t,” Kelly scoffs and laughs. “There’s no way that anyone will be watching you. You’re the best, most successful doctor in your field. What could they be worried about?”

All of a sudden, an idea pops into my brain. I don’t like using it, it makes me feel a bit ill but I’ve got to say something that she’ll believe. “Actually, it’s because of my behavior. I guess someone must have reported me for acting in an unsuitable way. I don’t want to get caught doing just that.”

“Your assistant.” Kelly nod furiously. “It has to be her. All of a sudden, she’s working with you and someone’s reported you? I don’t buy it. Plus, one of my friends said that it’s completely obvious how much she’s in love with you. You need to get rid of her, get someone better.”

The word ‘love’ and the ease that it flies out of Kelly’s mouth when she’s discussing Louise stops me in my tracks. I know that she doesn’t know anything at all about me and her, but if people are talking and they can see chemistry growing between us then maybe we’re in trouble here.

“She’s a trainee,” I pitch in, needing to say something. “Not an assistant, so I can’t fire her.”

“Oh well then maybe she’ll have the baby soon and you can carry on as normal.”

As I get close enough to Kelly, she loops an arm around my neck but I pull away sharply. I don’t want to be caught in any kind of compromising position with Kelly, and not because I don’t want to lose my job. I don’t want Louise to hear any of the dangerous gossip, I don’t want to push her away.

“No, I’m serious,” I insist whilst sidling backwards to create some real distance between me and Kelly. “I really can’t. I have to behave. If I get caught doing anything then I’m out.”

“So?” She wiggles her eyebrows playfully in my direction. “Doesn’t that make it so much more fun? I won’t let them fire you, my husband donates too much money to this place.”

It’s only now that I can hear how tacky that sounds. “No, I don’t think so. I don’t think…”

“They’ll have to keep you on. I’ll make him give the office more money…”

“Kelly.” My tone is firm now, I don’t see what else I can do but really make this clear. “I can either give you a formal examination or nothing at all. I don’t want this to become an issue, I’m just trying to keep my job here. I appreciate everything that you’ve offered, but I can’t.”

A thick silence clings to the air for a moment, but then she seems to get it… or at least something. “Ah I see.” She jumps down off the bed and purses her lips at me. “It’s because of the girl, isn’t it? The nurse assistant who’s in love with you. Is it your baby? Is that why?” She grabs her bag and storms towards the door. “I’d much rather you just be honest with me in future.”

As the door slams loudly behind her, I jump in shock. That exchange was unexpected, and the ironic thing is I might have pissed Kelly off so much that she tells the truth about me and she gets me fired. I can’t keep hooking up with her just to keep my job though… or maybe that’s the cross I have to bear. Maybe it’s fate intervening and I brought this all on myself.

Ring, ring… Ring, ring… Ring, ring…

My cell phone blasts out, filling me with a pit of dread in the bottom of my stomach. Can Kelly have acted that quickly? Could I be about to lose my job already? With anxious, shaking fingers I reach out to grab the phone but breathe much easier as I see the name on the screen. I might as well answer it now since Kelly left early. I don’t have anyone in for a fair while now.

“Hi, Mom.” She’s never been great for ringing me at appropriate times, which has gotten much worse since she’s started travelling. I don’t think she understands the concept of time anymore.

“Hi, Oliver.” She sounds happy which is good. Maybe I’m not in for a lecture today. “How’s it going? Sorry that it’s been so long again. Things have been crazy, you know how it is.”

“Oh no it’s fine. Things are good. Different from the last time I spoke to you, but good.”

“Different?” Oops, I should have known that she would leap on that word. I said it accidently but now it’s going to become this whole big thing. Damn it! “How different? What’s happened?”

“Oh nothing.” I don’t know how I’m going to be able to play this one off. “I just have a new trainee at work so I’ve been very busy. It’s hard when I have someone shadowing me.”

“Male or female?” Urgh, she’s relentless. Like a dog with a bone with information. “How old?”

“Female.” That’ll spark a fire, I just know it. I wish I could start this conversation over again. “And she’s twenty two. Almost. She graduated high school early because she’s so smart.”

“Hmm, I see. So she’s young, but intelligent… it sounds like you’re into her.”

“What?” I exclaim in disbelief. “But I didn’t even say anything about her really. What are you talking about? She’s just someone who’s working with me while she trains, that’s all.”

“Well that’s obviously a lie.” My brain spins as I desperately try to work out who could have told her this. But no one comes to mind, the closest would be Simon but he doesn’t know my mom. “You obviously have feelings for her. You didn’t need to say much because I could hear it in your voice. You went all soft when you spoke about her which I’ve never heard you do before. Now, I might not approve of the age difference, or the fact that you’re working together, but at the same time if this is progress towards you actually liking someone then I might be all for it. I’ll have to meet her though.”

The thought of my mom meeting Louise fills me with dread. That would be bad enough if the narrative that Mom has created was the truth, but the fact that she has another man’s child growing in her stomach is cause for all kinds of unwanted judgment. I cannot let that happen!

“No, Mom, it isn’t like that. She’s just my friend, that’s all…”

“Oliver, stop kidding yourself.” Exasperation rolls off of Mom’s tongue. “This girl is much more than a friend to you which is perfect. You need someone in your life…”

I hate her saying this to me, especially as I agree with her but the one person I want to bring into my life is out of reach, so I shut her down as rapidly as I can manage. “Mom, I don’t want to talk about this right now, I am at work, it really isn’t the time. I’ll give you a call later on.”

“No, don’t go. I know you’re at work, but I never get to talk to you. Just speak to me about this, I want to understand what’s going on better. Maybe I should come and visit you soon…”

She’s still talking but I hit the end button, getting rid of her. It’s just damn typical of my life that the one time I mention something that makes her proud of me but it isn’t something that can happen.

She’s so bloody interfering I think as I skid my phone across my desk in temper and irritation. Urgh, just leave me alone, mother, for crying out loud!

I don’t know anyone else who has parents like mine. A father who I never hear from and a mother who I don’t see but manages to dig her fingers into all of my business at the same time. It’s infuriating. Sometimes I wish she would just be normal and say ‘hello’ and that’s about it…

Then again, I suppose I’m lucky to have her really. Louise doesn’t have anyone. She has a father who might as well be Santa since he doesn’t exist to her, and a mother who opted out of life. At least I know through everything that I’m never alone, not really. I suppose it’s selfish of me to get annoyed with them really, I should simply count my blessings.

For a moment, I think about Louise’s baby boy once more. He’ll be another one who grows up without knowing who his father is. Of course, I don’t blame Louise, this is his fault not hers, she has tried to locate him through all the people at Julia’s house party but he’s nowhere to be found. I wonder if it’ll affect him, if he’ll be troubled growing up without a father figure in his life. It’s a shame, it shouldn’t be this way but I suppose this sort of thing happens all the time.