Chapter Six – Louise

The music thuds so loudly I can hear it right in the center of my brain. I don’t even know what it is apart from a massive, horrible racket. I guess when I was invited by Julia to her house warming I expected it to be a small gathering where I could get to know some new people better, but I couldn’t have been more wrong. It’s loud and crazy, I’m shocked that none of the neighbors have complained yet. I keep thinking that things are going to get shut down, but they haven’t.

I don’t know why I’m here really, I haven’t seen much of Julia. I like where our friendship is going, and I thought that tonight would be an extension of that, but so far she’s spent most of the night with her tongue down some guy’s throat. I don’t blame her, she isn’t here for me, but it leaves me very much alone, a place where I’m far too comfortable I suppose. I don’t want to be, yet I am.

“Hey there.” A guy leans over my shoulder and gets right up in my face, invading my personal space in a way that’s only acceptable when drinking… which I have been solidly for the last hour. “You good? You don’t much look like you’re enjoying yourself here.”

“Oh no, it’s nice,” I reply loyally. “But I’m going home in a moment, after this drink.”

Actually, I had a bed waiting for me at Julia’s because she wants me to stay, but now I’m not going to. I need to be back at my tiny, grotty apartment. Usually I hate where I live, but tonight I’ll be glad to be back there in the quietness where I can actually sleep.

“Oh that’s a shame.” The stranger touches my arm in a gesture that’s far too sweet since I’m currently an emotional mess. “I was hoping to spend some time getting to know you.”

“You were?” I screw my nose up in confusion. “Why would you want to know me?”

“Are you kidding?” He extends his arms widely and grins. “You’re the most beautiful girl here. Of course I want to talk to you. You look really interesting as well. I bet you’ve got lots going on inside that big brain of yours.” He touches me again and I surprisingly like it. “So, what do you say?”

I part my lips, trying to find the right words, but somehow there isn’t anything there. The only other person to compliment me recently is Oliver, but of course I can’t trust his words at all. Through the slight beer goggles that I have on, this guy is like a younger version of Oliver with his dark hair and warm brown eyes. It’s confusing and makes me feel closer to him than I am.

“Do you want another drink?” He shakes his bottle at me as he senses my confusion. “Do you think you could stay for a little while longer so I can speak to the best person here?”

I can’t stop myself from smiling, he’s just so charming. “Fine,” I concede with a nod. “Get me a drink. I’ll stay for a little while longer but I can’t promise you much more than that.”

He heads into the kitchen, pausing only to glance back at me with a cheeky grin on his face. It makes my heart skip a beat and I can instantly feel a whole load of barriers blurring together because of the alcohol. My feelings for Oliver that I’ve desperately been trying to push down come flooding to the surface and transfer onto this sexy, nice stranger who’s actually been sweet with me.

Oliver is bad news anyway, he isn’t the man for me. He’s older, more mature, and doesn’t care for the rules at all. Every time I close my eyes all I can picture is him fucking her over the examining table which makes me feel ill. It’s hard for me to even work with him anymore, never mind be a friend with him. I need to find a way to forget all of that, to distract myself, and maybe this guy is here to answer my prayers. Maybe, as mad as it is to think after one tiny conversation, this is the guy that I’ll actually end up with. He might be someone that I fall in love with, which will make me forget all about Oliver and his terrible behavior. If I don’t care about him anymore then it won’t matter to me what he does.

I stare at the sexy stranger, already grinning as he makes his way back to me, knowing that I need to at least give him a chance. Up until this point the party has been a disaster, but maybe it’s about to completely turn around for the better.

“By the way, my name is Adam,” he tells me as he sits down beside me, handing me a drink. “I completely forgot to introduce myself then. And what’s your name, beautiful?”

Oh my God, I haven’t ever been called beautiful before, it feels really good. It makes me shiver, I love his openness, it makes me trust him lots.

“I’m Louise,” I tell him softly, leaning in as I speak. I think I might even be flirting which isn’t like me at all. Usually I’m too shy to even speak. This is like a miracle! It’s just so nice to be able to be open with how I’m feeling. I don’t have to hide a damn thing, I can even talk to Julia about it at some point.

“So how do you know Julia? I’ve just started working with her…”

“I’m a friend of a friend.” He shoves me playfully which makes me giggle like a crazy person. “But I don’t want to talk about Julia, I want to talk about you.”

But before I can say anything at all, his hand cups my cheek and he brings my face close to his. He stares into my eyes for a second looking at me with such lust that it makes me want to burst. Then he brings my mouth to his and he kisses me hard and fast. Damn it, this is wild, but it’s so exciting. I kiss him back with just as much passion, turning my brain off as I do. This feels so good that for just five minutes it allows me to forget about all my inner turmoil which is wonderful. I’ve been so caught up in knots and I’m only just realizing how much now.

Screw you, Oliver, I think as I wrap my hand around Adam’s neck. I can be bad too…

Not that this is about Oliver of course. I might care about him, but not enough to act out in any way. This isn’t about him, this is about me just doing something that feels good with someone who seems to like me. A lot, judging by the groaning that’s coming out of his mouth. It feels good to turn someone on, to have someone so attracted to me, it makes me feel powerful.

“Do you want to come upstairs with me?” Adam whispers into my mouth, his breath tickling all over my passion bruised lips in a really good way. “Get a little… privacy?”

I know what this means, I’m not that naïve, but what I don’t know what I want to do. I mean, I do. I want to take this further, I want to really forget and to prove to Oli… I mean, myself that I can have fun. I want to continue feeling attractive because it’s awesome. Because I’m a little drunk, I’m really leaning towards that idea. More than maybe I should be.

I bite down on my bottom lip and nod slowly. “Do you know what? Yes, I do.”

Adam takes my hand and he leads me towards the stairs, both of us giggling like crazy teenagers with an intense crush on one another. To think, only moments ago I was about to leave this party and go back home alone and lonely, and now I’m having the best night of my life. I’m giddy and excited, turned on and wild, I don’t feel like myself at all which is amazing. I like not being me for just a short while. I like letting someone taking control of the situation for just a moment because it leads me to do the things that I really want to do, but I’m too scared to.

Once we reach the top of the house, Adam circles his arms around my waist and he shoves me up against the wall where he kisses me with all the passion in the world. I can feel the burning hot desire running through his veins which ignites me even more. I’m like a damn Christmas tree I’m so lit up. I claw at him, desperately trying to unclothe him despite the fact that we’re in public.

“Get a room!” someone yells at us, which is exactly what I intend to do.

“Yeah, let’s,” I murmur to Adam. “I have a room waiting for me just across that hallway.”

As we slide into the bedroom and I close the door behind us, I flick the lock shut and turn to face him with a bright, cheeky smile playing on my lips. Now, that I’m alone with Adam, the sound of the pumping music is sexy. It makes me feel like we’re in a public place and might get caught, but it’s okay because I have the safety of a locked door keeping the rest of the world away from us.

“So,” I say in what I hope is a seductive, husky voice as I shake my hips and move towards him.

“Now we’re alone. We have some privacy. What are we going to do with it?”

Adam grabs me and he kisses me again, this time we can actually tear one another’s clothes off rather than just acting like we want to, and it’s amazing. The more I can feel of his flushed, boiling skin, the more turned on I become. I can barely stand it, I need him now, I need the way that he makes me feel. As we crash back onto the bed behind me, I feel so fucking good I could scream.

“Oh fuck.” Adam angles himself into me as he kisses down my neck. “Fucking hell.”

I like the fact that he isn’t messing around, I’m glad there’s no extended, slightly awkward foreplay. Even if he does turn out to be the guy I end up falling in love with, right now I just want him to drive into me to make me forget. I need to feel him everywhere, filling me up.

As he thrusts hard into me and he moves at a rapid pace. I claw at his back, needily and desperately, gasping as the heat consumes me and I feel completely breathless. I don’t know how good this feels exactly, it isn’t as thrilling and delicious as I thought it would be, but it’s better than moping over Oliver. Not that I’m thinking about Oliver right now of course.

“Oh my God!” Adam cries out as he explodes inside of me, much too quickly. “Oh fuck, Julia that feels so fucking good.”

As he rolls next to me, panting heavily and wiping the sweat from his forehead, an ice cold pit of shame forms in my stomach. This is a mistake, I never should have let this happen. I know I’m not a one night stand kinda girl and now this has just proven that.

“It’s Louise, actually…” I say pathetically. “Not Julia.”

“Huh?” Adam replies, but of course he’s hardly listening. He’s practically snoring on the other side of the bed with his back to me. He isn’t interested in me at all, he probably just noticed my vulnerability and decided to take advantage of me. Just another man, screwing me over. Wonderful.