Chapter Thirty
Taylor
I was not looking forward to Dylan coming home. Well, I was, but he was going to be so excited about his college visit. All it meant to me was that I was going to have to give him up at some point. I knew I was being selfish, but I was also upset that my parents had not given me their decision about college. I had expected them to be on my side a little more.
I had expected them to at least be excited and that I was now looking forward to college. I’d been dragging my feet about applying. They’d put pressure on me, and this was how I responded.
The fact that Dylan was probably going to a different school far away didn’t affect my school decision, but it affected how I felt now. I didn’t want him to go. I didn’t want us to be apart. As much as I understood what my path was, I understood that his path was different.
Didn’t mean I had to like it. The only problem was trying to be supportive. Before now, I hadn’t cared about that. Guess I was maturing.
Helena called. “I got into Rutgers.”
That was her number one pick. She was done. This part of her life was set.
“That’s great, Helena.”
I was truly happy for her. As much as I’d miss her, I knew we’d stay in touch. We’d been friends for so long, I couldn’t imagine not being friends with her. I just wouldn’t see her every day.
“Thanks, Taylor. I know this has been a sore subject for you, but you’ll figure it out.”
How had I failed to tell her my decision? “Actually, I’ve decided on a major. I have a few schools I want to look at.”
“That’s great, Taylor. Your parents must be pretty happy.”
“Well, they aren’t sold on my major,” I said. I shifted on my bed to get more comfortable.
“What’s the major?”
“Nursing.”
“What’s wrong with that?”
“I guess it isn’t an acceptable profession for my mother.”
“That sucks.”
“I’m hoping my father can convince her that I’ve thought about this. That I’m going into this knowing what I’m in for. I don’t think she thinks I’m capable of something like this.”
“Not to be a killjoy, but what have you done like it? She hasn’t seen you be anything but selfish.”
I laughed. Leave it to Helena to tell me the truth. “Okay, I know this. I’ve been spoiled and selfish. I get it. Meeting Dylan and seeing another side of life has changed me.”
“I know that, but maybe your mother hasn’t seen that side of you. Maybe you need to prove to her that you’ve changed.”
I sighed. “Yeah, probably. Not sure how to go about doing that, though.”
“I don’t know. Be more helpful around the house. Think of ways to make her life easier. Cook dinner once in awhile.”
Helena had great ideas. “I’ll have to think on that.”
“You lost your car only a few weeks ago, so she’s thinking that you haven’t grown up.”
“I know. You’re right. Can I call you when we’re away at college?”
“Of course. We’re best friends.”
“I feel like I rely on you more than you rely on me,” I said.
“That’s probably true, but I’m okay with that. If I wasn’t, we wouldn’t be friends.”
I have been selfish my whole life. “So did you do whatever you have to do to go to Rutgers?”
“Yes. I have the dates for orientation and stuff like that. I’ve put in for housing,” Helena said.
“That’s so exciting. I can’t wait to be doing that.”
“You will. Maybe you need to nudge your parents so they make a decision and then you can apply. There are deadlines.”
“I know. I think at this point, I might have to wait until January to enroll.”
“You might.”
Darn. I’d wasted a lot of time. “My next question is how do I be happy for Dylan? I want to be. He has such great opportunities ahead of him. I want him to succeed, but I’m not ready to think about him gone. Or even me gone.”
“Just smile. Always smile.”
“Okay, I think I can do that.”
“Don’t say anything negative, either.”
“That will be harder,” I said.
“You don’t want to ruin anything for him.”
“I know.” Helena was right, as usual. “I better go and practice my smile. Dylan will be home soon. Or maybe I’ll just go set the table without my mother asking.”
“Good idea.”
My mother was in front of the stove. She really didn’t like cooking, so me doing it once in awhile would make her happy, especially on nights she had class.
“Dylan and your father will be home soon.”
I dug into the silverware drawer to set four places at the counter. My mother looked over her shoulder at me.
“I guess he had a good time?” I said.
“Sounded like it, and they are hungry.”
“They usually are.”
“You and I could go days without eating and they need food more than three times a day,” my mother said.
I laughed. Let’s try out the new Taylor. “Mom, would it make things easier if I cooked dinner sometimes?”
My mother stilled her stirring arm and glanced my way. “Are you serious?”
“I am. I know you have school some nights and you leave us something, but why not just let me figure out dinner.”
“You have no practice.”
I shrugged. “I can pull something together.”
She stared at me as if I had two heads. “Okay. I have class every Tuesday and Wednesday.”
“Then, I’ll cook every Tuesday and Wednesday,” I said.
“That sounds great, Taylor. Get the men to clean up if you can.”
“Oh, I will.”
She laughed this time. “Good luck with that.”
“No worries, Mom. I can charm Daddy into doing it.”
“Yes, I bet you probably can.” She stilled. “They must be home. I heard the garage door.”
I put my smile on my face, ready to face Dylan.
Chapter Thirty One
Dylan
Taylor hadn’t been alright since I came back from the college visit. She seemed a little distant. On the other hand, we had better meals when Mrs. Dean was out with Taylor cooking.
The good and the bad I supposed, but I wanted to cheer her up. I went out and bought flowers. I snuck them into the house and put them in her room while she was out. I couldn’t wait for her to see them.
I knew the exact moment. I heard a quiet squeal come from her room. I knew she’d want to be quiet so her parents wouldn’t know about it. They never came in our rooms. We had a lot of privacy.
But we hadn’t had sex again. I was a little nervous about doing anything when her parents were in the house. That was be really disrespectful, and I couldn’t do that. Taylor had been hinting and thankfully, she hadn’t crawled into bed with me again. I was a good guy, but a naked woman in my bed would be too much for me to resist.
Especially if that naked woman was Taylor. She was so beautiful, and she’d been even sweeter than usual. We spent a lot of time together out of school and neither of the Deans had questioned us.
Did they not know what teenagers could get up to? I guess we’d given them no reason to suspect anything. Hopefully, the flowers wouldn’t ever be seen.
Taylor launched herself into my room. I sat on the bed, looking at something on my phone. She stood in the doorway, her smile wider than I’d seen it in a few weeks.
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. You seemed like you needed to be cheered up. What’s been wrong?”
She sat on my desk chair because we’d promised to keep a physical distance between us when we were home. That way, her parents wouldn’t suspect anything. It had seemed to work so far.
“I guess I’m just a little worried about college and the fact that we’ll be apart.”
“We have to go to college.”
“No argument here, and I’m happy that you are going and I’m going and all that, but I don’t want to think about it.”
“Just live in the now, Taylor. We have no choice.”
“I know. It’s hard. Especially since we have to hide it all. Hide what we are doing.”
I wanted to hold her. I wanted to tell her it was all okay. That would be against our rules, though.
“I’ve got some stuff to do, but,” she said, her voice dropping to a whisper. “I’m visiting you tonight. I don’t want to stay away.”
I hoped she was serious. I didn’t want her to stay away, either. “Okay.”
She smiled then stood. That’s when we heard her mother’s voice.
“What the hell?”
We looked at each other. What had happened? Taylor was to the door first. Her mother stood in the hallway. She held the flowers in her hand. “Explain these?”
“It’s okay, Mom,” Taylor said.
I knew it wasn’t. I shouldn’t have put a card in with the flowers, but I wanted Taylor to know they were from me. That had been the wrong thing to do.
I stood behind Taylor, who was frantically trying to appease her mother.
“It says from Dylan. Why is Dylan buying you flowers?” Her gaze rested on me. “Why are you buying my daughter flowers? Is something going on?”
Busted. Well and truly busted. I could usually think on my feet, but at the moment, I couldn’t come up with a plausible lie. I wanted to keep my lips together, but the words jumped out.
“Taylor and I are seeing each other.”
Taylor gasped. Her mother gasped. I was a little relieved that the lie was out. It had been killing me to keep it from the Deans. I was so grateful for what they’d done for me.
The look on Mrs. Dean’s face told me that I’d made the wrong choice. Her eyes grew wild, and then her face became calm. Calm is never good in a situation like this. “Taylor, go to your room.”
“No, I’m in this situation. I’m going to stay here.”
The next time Mrs. Dean said it, there was more steel in her voice. “Taylor.”
I couldn’t blame Taylor when she obeyed her mother. In some ways, I would be escaping. Taylor would have to live with her mother every day. And, they’d been getting along so well.
Once again, I screwed up. Still, I met her gaze. “I truly care about your daughter.”
“That isn’t going to help. I want you out of this house within the hour. You are to have no contact with my daughter. You don’t even get to say goodbye.”
“You’re kicking him out?” Taylor said from her bedroom door. “I’m calling Daddy.”
“I think he’ll agree with me on this one, Taylor.” She turned to her daughter. “Close your door and don’t come out until I tell you that you can.”
Taylor shut the door, and she might as well have shut it on my heart because it hurt so much. Mrs. Dean looked back at me. “One hour and I don’t care how you get out of here.”
She spun on her heel and left me. My eyes fell shut. I had done this. I had been doing so well. I had a future, and I’d thrown it away.
I sighed. Dumb fuck. I packed my clothing. When I came here, they fit into a backpack. Now, I had that backpack filled with school items and two suitcases full of clothing. Did I keep my phone?
I didn’t know, so I left it on the bed after I called Cole for a ride. I had to leave the laptop, too. It wasn’t mine. Back to the computer lab for me and my homework.
I sighed as I passed Taylor’s door.
***
The trailer was pretty much how I’d left it. It needed to be cleaned. Cole stood in the doorway as if he were afraid to catch something.
“Dude, this sucks and doesn’t suck. No parents. No nagging.”
“No food. No money. Know anyone who is hiring?”
No future probably, either. My mail would go to the Deans. Would they let me pick it up? Not that the college acceptances would mean anything. I couldn’t go to college now. I didn’t need the emancipation now that my mother was dead, but I also probably couldn’t afford college, either.
Where would I stay during breaks?
Life sucked, and I made it this way. All because of some tail.
No, not some tail. A girl I really cared about.
Cole looked around. “We could have a wicked party here.”
“No. I’m not doing that. Besides, I have to figure out how I’m going to feed myself, let alone buy alcohol.”
Cole frowned. “Right. True.” He pulled out his wallet and handed me some cash. “Look. Take this.”
“I can’t take your money, Cole.”
“I’m not going to let you starve,” he protested.
I took the cash. I didn’t count it, just shoved it into my pocket.
“Look, I have to go, but if you need something, please call me.”
“I would if I could, Cole, but I have no phone.”
“That sucks. She took everything?”
I shrugged. “I left the stuff there. I didn’t want her accusing me of stealing it.”
“I still think you should have a party here. I could supply the alcohol. I have a few friends who are of age.”
I shook my head. The last thing I needed was to get caught with underage drinkers. I wouldn’t drink because that was a cop out. I wasn’t going down that road. “Absolutely not.”
“Damn. That’s cold. I gotta go. I’m sorry, Dylan. I can pick you up for school tomorrow.”
“That sounds good.”
He left me to my trailer. Home, sweet, hovel, as my mother would say. Why had I thought I deserved more?
Someone knocked on the door. I though Cole had come back. It was Mr. Dean. Was he here to yell at me, too?
I let him in. He looked around. “Dylan.”
“Mr. Dean.”
What was I going to say? I wasn’t sorry. I really cared about his daughter. I knew I’d been stupid, but I didn’t know how to handle the situation any differently.
He handed me the laptop and the phone. “These are yours. You keep them. I’ll pay the phone bill.”
I nodded. Why was he being so nice? He looked around again. “She’s my daughter, Dylan. My pride and joy.”
“I know. I care about her, Mr. Dean.”
“Well, I don’t think I can trust you anymore.”
“I understand. Is Taylor okay?”
“She’s upset. Grounded, but she’ll live,” he said.
I could see the struggle on his face. He liked me, but Taylor was his daughter. His loyalty was to her. He pulled out his wallet. He handed me an even bigger was of cash than Cole did. “This should hold you for a little while.”
“Thank you.”
The trek to the grocery store wouldn’t be fun without a car, but I needed to at least get some food for a day or so.
“I trusted you, Dylan.”
“I know, sir. And, I betrayed that trust. She isn’t just some girl to me. She’s special.”
“Well, that isn’t enough. I’m disappointed in both of you. Maybe if you had come talked to me, we could have worked something out, but the two of you snuck around behind my back.”
“I know, sir. It was wrong.”
I couldn’t apologize anymore. He wasn’t going to forgive me. That was the reality of my situation.
And, I’d done it to myself. I had a chance at a good life and I’d thrown it away. Mr. Dean pulled a business card out of his pocket. “This person is hiring part timers. I put in a good word for you.”
“Thank you, sir.”
At least I’d have a job. Hopefully, I could get rides to it and not screw things up – like I did with the Deans.
As long as my uncle would let me live here I think I’d be okay. Too bad that uncle lived far away and wasn’t willing to help me any further than this trailer.
I should be grateful for that. Right? I should be grateful for my time with Taylor. All girls after her would be judged based on how she’d been.
“I better go. Mrs. Dean is pretty mad. Even at me. I wish things had been different, son. Good luck and don’t give up on college.”
He stuck out his hand. I shook it, then he left. I was alone in my new home, or rather, my old home.
I sighed. I might as well clean it up, but part of me just wanted to crawl into my lumpy bed. Maybe things would look better tomorrow. Or I’d wake up from this nightmare in the Deans’ house again. That this was all a mistake.
As I looked around, I knew it wasn’t.
My phone dinged with a text from Taylor.
“They are taking my phone away, but if you need anything from me, call Helena. She’ll get a message to me.”
I smiled down at her. Still taking care of me.
“Thanks,” I texted back.
I dropped the phone on the table. Everything else could wait until tomorrow.
I crawled into my crappy bed, remembering the soft sheets and the even softer daughter at the Dean house. I’m stupid. That has to be it. Why did I let myself get sent back here? I stared at the ceiling as the wind began to blow.
The trailer shook, and I’d forgotten it did that. Fuck.
What an idiot I am and now I was back here. The last place I’d ever wanted to return to.
I curled up on my side as the wind picked up.
Chapter Thirty Two
Taylor
Helena drove me home from school a few days later. My mother was out and my father was travelling.
“Can we detour to see Dylan?” I said.
“You want to chance it?”
“I have to. I have to make this right.”
“You’re going to get into deeper trouble,” she told me.
“Probably.”
I needed to see Dylan. I’d only seen him in class, and we didn’t have time to talk. He wasn’t staying after school anymore, either. I wondered if he quit the mathletes. That would be a shame. He’d enjoyed that.
I wanted to kiss Dylan, but I wanted to talk to him more.
Helena parked by the trailer. I had to admit I was astonished when I saw it again. “Holy shit. He wasn’t kidding when he described this place.”
“Sad, really,” Helena said. “I’ll wait in the car.”
“Thanks.”
I didn’t know if he was home, so I knocked lightly on the front door that looked like it would fall off if I knocked any harder. Dylan couldn’t stay here. I had to make this right. I had to fix this. No human should have to live like this.
“Taylor. What are you doing here?”
“I wanted to see you, Dylan.”
He glanced past me, waving at Helena. He opened the door further so I could go in. I kissed him. “You’re going to get into trouble, Taylor.”
“I know, but I needed to see you.”
I didn’t want to stop touching him. He had dark circles under his eyes, as if he hadn’t been sleeping.
“I have to get ready for work.”
“Go ahead.”
“I need to change.”
“I’ve seen you naked,” I said – and wouldn’t mind seeing him again.
He frowned as he led me to the bedroom. Tiny was an understatement. I sat on the bed as he stripped down to his underwear then put on his uniform.
“My parents have agreed to let me study nursing. I’ve applied to a few schools.”
“Have you gotten anything back?”
“No, but I’m thinking it will be for a January enrollment.”
God, he was hot. Even in that stupid uniform. He pumped gas and had his name on the pocket. I knew my father had gotten him the job.
“That won’t be too bad.”
“No, it won’t. I just wish I’d figured this out sooner.”
“Right.”
“There’s still the prom,” I said.
He stopped to stare at me. “Has someone asked you?”
“No.”
I had hoped he would, but he might have changed his mind about me. I cleared my throat. “I think I can talk my dad into letting you take me.”
“Taylor, that’s wishful thinking.”
“I think he feels guilty about my mother kicking you out.”
Dylan shook his head. “He isn’t, Taylor. He’s right. We shouldn’t have been messing around.”
“They only know that we dated. They don’t know what else we did.”
Dylan looked at his watch. “Will Helena drive me to my job?”
“Of course.”
“Then you need to get home after that. Don’t get in trouble for me.”
I kissed him. He kissed back, and I wanted him to make love to me, but he had to get to work. “I miss you.”
“I miss you, too, Taylor, but this can’t be. Please don’t come around.”
I felt my eyes get wet. “You don’t care anymore.”
He pulled me into his arms. “Of course, I do. I don’t want you to get into trouble. Don’t make it worse. Just let me be.”
“But this isn’t fair, Dylan.”
“Life is not fair, sweetie. It isn’t. The sooner you learn that the better,” he said.
“I know, but you’ve been trying so hard and now you’re back here in the trailer. I worry about you here.”
He stroked my face. “Oh, Taylor. I’m fine. I can take care of myself.”
He kissed me, and I really didn’t want him to go to work. Helena beeped the horn. Dylan smiled. “We better go or we’ll both be late.”
I nodded, but I liked how I fit into his arms.”
He nudged me away. “Let’s go, Taylor.”
He climbed into the backseat. “Where am I taking you?” Helena asked.
I told her which gas station he worked for. She nodded. “I know it well.”
“Good because I can’t be late.”
She smiled. I turned in my seat to look at him.
“What?”
“I’m just glad to see you.”
“Taylor, we can’t keep doing this.”
“I know, but I’m going to look at you while I can. I’m going to figure this situation out.”
He reached up and squeezed my hand. “I think this is something that you can’t fix. I appreciate the effort, but you have to move on.”
“I refuse.”
He cocked his head. “You have no choice, honey. This is how life is, and you need to listen to your parents. I have to work to get money for food, and I won’t have a lot of time for you.”
“Are you breaking up with me?”
He took a deep breath. “It’s how it has to be, Taylor.”
I felt a lump form in my throat. “I’m not giving up on us, Dylan. We were meant to be together. I know it.”
He frowned. “I wish you would just let it go.”
“No, Dylan. I won’t.”
Helena dropped him off at the gas station. He kissed me through the window. My heart hurt as I watched him walk into the office.
“Help me, Helena. There has to be a solution.”
“Unless you can convince your parents that you are better off with Dylan than without, I don’t see this working. And, I don’t mean emotionally. I mean, like, you’re safer with Dylan.”
“Hm.”
Her statement got some creative juices flowing. I didn’t have the answer yet, but I would. I was determined. My parents would see Dylan for the good kid he was. They would see what I see in him and he’d be back in our house.