Chapter 27

Danica

 

My heart raced painfully as I swayed against Rhett. In that moment, the rest of the world just fell away and all I could focus on was him. His strong, muscular body was holding me upright, and it felt so good to be around him. Every so often, I became so involved in the moment, that I almost forgot myself completely and leaned in to kiss him. But luckily, the odd glimpse of all the wedding guests was enough to ground me and remind me what was at risk here.

At least I had him–I had to remember that. It might have been difficult, but it could have always been so much worse.

I still felt like there was so much unsaid between us, which was hard, but right now we just needed to see what we could be. I only wanted Rhett to be with me if that was what he wanted to be, not because he felt obligated to, and if I mentioned the baby now, that thought would always be at the back of my mind.

As the song drew to an unfortunate close, and Rhett’s arms fell away from my shoulders, I felt cold and sad to see him go, but I knew that it was for the best. If he stayed hugging me for too much longer, it would be weird and suspicious. Right now, people weren’t paying us too much attention, but we could very easily change that.

“I better go and find Mom,” I murmured to him, trying to ignore the tears that threatened to make an appearance. I was only sad because I wished things between us could be easier, not because I wished we hadn’t danced–that was the one true good memory that I would take away from this.

Not that the rest of it had been bad. In fact, it had gone amazingly, but it would only really be this that I remembered. “But I’ll see you later?”

I was of course referring to him coming to my room later that night. Our agreement at the moment was working perfectly; it made getting through the days so much easier. It meant that I didn’t miss Rhett too much, which was great–we could behave ourselves during the day. It really was the perfect–and only–way for us to get some alone time together.

Our secret little relationship was going surprisingly well despite everything, and although we hadn't managed to find a way to have sex yet, I felt closer to him than ever. Things were really starting to feel like they could be okay. I was truly beginning to believe that things were going to work out for us.

At least, until I finally did make the decision to reveal my pregnancy…

“I’ll see you later.” Rhett looked just as disappointed as I felt as we moved away from one another, creating a distance that we didn’t like, but we both knew that we would be okay. We would be back in our own little bubble of happiness soon enough. We just needed to be patient.

After what felt like a whole minute of intense eye contact, I spun around and turned my back to him. Then I pushed my way through the crowds, trying to organize my expression to appear normal once more. People yelled hello at me, and I smiled back, but I made no effort to stop and talk to anyone. Not now, not until I had some fresh air. I needed to calm my entire body down before it gave us away. I felt like Rhett was still all over me, and I really didn’t need the world to see that.

As I burst through the doors and into the cool refreshing air, I found the one person that I actually wanted to talk to stood there, looking about as hot as I felt in her oversized dress. “Oh hi, Mom,” I exclaimed happily. “I was looking for you!” I tried to pull her in for a hug, but we couldn’t quite manage it over both of our dresses. “Are you okay?”

“Oh, I am,” she grinned serenely, looking happier than I’d ever seen her. “I’m having such an amazing day; I’m just hot and a little tired.”

I laughed and nodded. “Me, too.” It felt nice to be able to freely admit how exhausted I was for once. The pregnancy had been taking it out of me, and today I actually had an excuse for it.

“But it’s been so amazing. I need to tell Victoria what a good job she’s done.” I saw her at the beginning of the day, but more recently the wedding planner hadn't been anywhere to be seen. I couldn’t help but wonder if she was secretly dealing with all kinds of disasters behind the scenes somewhere.

“Everyone is enjoying themselves, aren’t they?” A bout of self-doubt seemed to plague my mother, which I instantly dispelled.

“Oh, Mom, everyone is having a great time.” And they really were–I hadn't seen any drama or anyone looking bored. She couldn’t have asked for a better day. “The hotel has been done up amazingly, and the entertainment has run really smoothly. I just can’t wait to see the wedding photos!” The backdrop for the pictures was absolutely breath-taking–and the photographer was great too. I wasn’t sure where they’d managed to find someone so amazing.

“Where’s Brad?” I suddenly realized that I hadn't seen him for hours. Shouldn’t he be glued to my mom’s side on their wedding day?

“Oh, he went to the bathroom, but he probably got stuck talking to someone. You know what he’s like.” I nodded, even though I really didn’t. He always seemed like quite a quiet man to me, but of course, I’d spent minimal time around the man. I guessed that would be something that would have to change, now that he was officially my stepfather. At least, until I returned to college and I got my own life back.

“You and Rhett looked sweet on the dance floor,” she teased, nudging me playfully. My pulse rate instantly kicked up. Did she know something? Was she trying to tell me that we’d been more obvious than I thought?

“Oh, erm…” I laughed uncomfortably, wishing that I could think of something to say. Something that could dispel any rumours before they began.

“It’s a shame that he’s going to be your stepbrother!” Oh God, this couldn’t be going any worse. “He’s such a nice guy. I’m so glad that we all get on a little better now; it’s really nice. We’re going to be a lovely family.”

Family. I had to assume that she was just talking, and that she didn’t really mean anything by it. It was my own guilt making me freak out; I was going to have to calm that down if I wanted to keep everything to myself. Mom wasn’t normally one to beat around the bush, especially not for big issues, so I was going to have to chill out for the time being.

“Anyway, I better go back inside,” she finally smiled at me and turned around. “People will be wanting to speak to me, I’m sure. Who knew my wedding day was going to end up being so stressful?” She laughed a little awkwardly, and I half-heartedly joined in, simply because I felt like that was what she needed me to do.

“Okay, I’ll join you in a little bit.” I still needed some air, and I also wanted a bit of time alone to recover from that comment. If I was going to come across as normal, then I was going to have some time alone. “I’m just going to cool down.”

As she left me behind, my mind started to reel. It had been hard enough to avoid alcohol all night without raising any suspicions, and I wondered how much longer I could keep all of this to myself.

I was convinced that I was already starting to get a tiny baby bump–even if it was only obvious to me–and I was terrified of people realizing the truth before I was ready to admit it out loud. I’d been so busy trying to conceal everything that it was only occurring to me now that I could have missed something somewhere along the way.

Mom and her innocuous comments had sent me back into a paranoid mess.

Although as my mind thought on, it began to wander into a very different, unexpected territory. In the haze of the romantic wedding day, I had actually started to imagine myself and Rhett being together, being happy, and having the baby, or just being a normal, real couple.

I started to wonder if our parents could ever find it in their hearts to accept us, despite the weirdness of the situation. After all, we weren’t really doing anything wrong. We hadn't grown up together as brother and sister, we weren’t really related, and we met before we knew. But would they ever be able to see it in that way? Or would it cause everything to explode and fall apart?

I thought Mom might come around eventually, after a brief adjustment period, but I wasn’t too sure about Brad. I didn’t know him well enough at all to make that judgment, and I felt suspicious of him after all that he’d said about Rhett. I didn’t think he could be an open-minded, accepting man, no matter what we did, which was a worry. How much would my mom be influenced by him and his opinions? I just wasn’t sure.

I decided that I would ask Rhett later on to see what he thought about it all. After all, he knew his dad much better than I did. I might even broach the subject of their relationship once more, to try and find out more about it. It was still a totally mystery to me, and I hadn't felt brave enough to broach it properly yet. It felt like scary territory that could end up going badly. I was scared that discussing it might even make him leave.

But not anymore; I didn’t think anything would cause him to run away this time. We were in it together, and that was that.

After a while, I realized that I couldn’t hide out there forever, and that I needed to get back inside before my presence was missed. I wasn’t sure how much I was going to be involved in the tidy up after this wedding, and although I really didn’t want to do that, I knew it would be my duty as maid of honour if need be.

I pushed the door open, and wandered back inside, and instantly noticed that the crowd had dispersed a little bit. That had to mean that the evening was slowly drawing to a close, which meant that I would be in my own bed soon enough. Of course, nothing could happen yet again because our parents weren’t going on their honeymoon just yet, but that didn’t matter. Being by Rhett’s side would be good enough.

As I scanned my eyes across the place, I realized that I couldn’t spot him, but that didn’t matter. He’d likely been dragged off by yet another relative to discuss what a lovely boy he was.

I just hoped that by being alone, I wouldn’t be taken to meet yet another boring guy that someone assumed would be perfect for me. It was hard to be polite, when I just wanted to be left alone, but what excuse did I have not to even meet anyone? If I even mentioned the word boyfriend as a reason not to, it would spread like wildfire and everyone would be on my back. I’d never had a serious relationship, so of course it would spark intrigue, and that would be even harder to handle.

Only a few more hours. I could get through this. I was sure I could.