Chapter 33

Danica

 

Ring, ring.

I stared down at my phone in shock and horror.

Ring, ring.

Why? Why the hell was he ringing me now after all this time?

Ring, ring.

Just as I’d started to move on. Just as I’d started to adjust to life without him.

Ring, ring.

Was he trying to torture me? Was this all a part of his sick and twisted game?

My fingers trembled as I actually considered answering, to get all of the answers that I so desperately needed, but I couldn’t quite make myself do it. I wanted to hear his excuses, to know what he had to say, but at the same time I wasn’t quite ready to re-open all those old wounds. Not when I’d only just shut them up. It didn’t feel fair.

Ring, ring.

And why did it have to be on his terms? I’d been trying to get in touch for ages and he’d just blatantly ignored me. Why the hell should I be so quick to give into him?

Ring, ring.

Maybe it would be good for him to get a taste of his own medicine.

And then, the phone simply rang out, making my decision for me, and I heaved a sigh of a sad relief. It was over, done. I couldn’t go back there, not after everything we went through. He seemed to be nothing more than a player, and I refused to be one of his games any longer. When I really considered all that I put up with from him, it felt like too much. It wasn’t fair and it wouldn’t be smart to go through all of that again. I needed to be wiser and smarter now.

Then, just as I was about to turn over to go back to sleep on my dorm bed, the message tone rang out. Rhett had left me an answer phone message, and I was back to the same dilemma. My heart thumped wildly as I thought over all of my options. Did I really want to listen to what he had to say? Could I ignore it, even if I wanted to?

The only good thing was that at least I wouldn’t have to answer him if he said something that I didn’t like. At least it would have to be a conversation that could easily lead to an argument. I could just listen, hope for my closure, and get on with my life.

I sucked in a deep breath, and I hit the button, trying to pretend to myself that I was feeling brave.

“Hi, Danica; it’s Rhett.” The first thing that I noticed was how nervous he sounded, which made me sit up straighter in the bed. This wasn’t going to be good, I could just tell. Dangerous? My mind went wild over that word as I listened to his message, unable to digest it in the same context as Brad. Sure, he wasn’t the easiest person in the world to get on with, but there had been absolutely no indication that he presented any danger to anyone, so why the hell would Rhett say that to me?

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I actually had to listen to the message more than once to have it sink in, and by the time I’d finished, I decided that for some unknown reason he was lying, and I felt disgusted by that. Maybe it was his weird way of getting me to talk to him after all that he’d done, or maybe he was telling more fibs about his father in that weird game he seemed to play with him, but I wanted no part of it. I didn’t even want to know why he was lying and involving me; I just wanted to forget that he ever existed.

I’d actually managed to spend some time alone with Brad now, and I could clearly see that he was nothing more than a nice man that cared for my mother deeply. Sure, I’d had some reservations about their relationship, but now I was sure that they were right for each other. I’d never seen Mom so happy in my life, and I wasn’t going to let Rhett’s idiotic behavior ruin that.

I tossed my phone onto the bed, trying to forget what I’d heard. I didn’t need to be dragged into any drama that didn’t directly involve me; I had to organize my life before this baby came along, and I still had so much to do. I needed to concentrate on that, not Rhett. He’d lost his chance with me, and if he thought that pathetic attempt would get him back into my good books, then he was very mistaken.

I had my doctor’s appointment booked for the very next morning, and I needed to be well rested for that. I needed to be calm and stress free so that I could find out everything I needed to in the right manner. I also had to work out how I was going to buy diapers and baby clothes and whatever else a baby needed without anyone noticing. I was also getting closer and closer to the date where I would have to get out of the dorm. There was no way I could raise a baby in that tiny space with Chloe. That would just be ridiculous.

Of course, I was also worrying about how I was going to continue with my course, but that was something I’d deal with later. I was trying to tackle my issues one at a time so I didn’t become overwhelmed by it all.

Before I got too worked up by everything all over again, I squeezed my eyes shut and I forced myself to go at least try to go to sleep. Luckily, I was so exhausted by everything pregnancy related, it wasn’t long before I managed to switch off and shut down.

 

***

 

After a fitful night’s sleep, I was woken up by a frantic knock at my dorm room door, which was confusing and left me feeling more than a little bewildered. I glanced over to Chloe’s bed, and quickly noticed that she wasn’t there, so maybe it was her, and she’d left her key somewhere. She often spent the night elsewhere, so this wouldn’t have been too out of character, but I felt a little put out by it all the same.

“Coming,” I called out sleepily, staggering upwards. God, I was so sleepy, this was killing me. How the hell was I going to be in a good state for my appointment this morning?

But as I swung the door open, I saw a face in front of me that changed everything. I really wasn’t expecting to see her, much less with a tear-stained face. “Mom?” I gasped, forgetting everything that I had planned for the day. “Are you okay? What’s going on?”

“Can I come in?” I could hear the panic laced on her tone, so I quickly stepped aside, ushering her in where we could be alone.

“Mom, tell me what’s happening.” A million and one scenarios ran through my mind, but none of them made any sense. “Why are you here?” She’d never come to visit me in college like this before, especially in the middle of the night, so it was safe to say that I was freaked out.

“It’s Brad.” As soon as those words left her mouth, Rhett’s words haunted me.

My dad isn’t a good man.

He’s dangerous.

My heart began to pound heavily against my chest. What the hell was happening now? Had I been wrong to disregard his phone call like that? Was I about to reap the consequences of that rash decision?

“He’s gone, Danica,” she concluded. “He just vanished in the night and I have no idea where he is now. I don’t know what to do.”

“No,” I insisted, shaking my head vigorously at the thought. “That’s impossible. People don’t just disappear, Mom; he must be somewhere. Have you tried calling his friends, his business contacts, people like that?” My brain whirred, trying to find the logical answer in there somewhere, but I was drawing a serious blank.

“Danica, I have called everyone. No one knows where he is. He’s gone. He’s left me.” And with that, she burst into sobs that racked through her entire body. All I could do was pull her in for a big hug while she wept. I tried to think of some sort of explanation for why he might have just upped and left like that, but I couldn’t. This was too weird for words! “He doesn’t want me after all.”

“No, it’s not that.” All of a sudden, another bout of sickness overcame me, and I was forced to throw her off me and race to the bathroom to throw up. I didn’t even get the chance to reassure her that she hadn't done anything wrong.

As I walked guiltily back into the bedroom, my mind spun, trying to think of an excuse that was plausible for my sudden illness–I still didn’t want her to be suspicious, especially not now. “Sorry,” I muttered quietly. “It was a bit of a heavy night last night.” Trying to blame it on a hangover seemed like the smartest thing that I could do at that moment.

But it didn’t work. Mum was looking my body up and down, spotting the changes that weren’t too well disguised by my pyjamas. If she’d come in the day time, when I was already dressed, then none of this would have happened!

“Danica, are you pregnant?” she asked, a little too bluntly for my liking. I bit my lip, trying to gauge her reaction, but surprisingly she didn’t look too angry.

“Yes,” I whispered, no longer able to hide it. I just couldn’t lie when asked outright like that–it didn’t feel right. “I just… I was waiting for the right time to tell you. I’m sorry that I didn’t mention it sooner. It’s all been a bit-”

“Oh, wow,” she burst into happy tears this time. “That’s just…that’s amazing. And don’t worry, I completely understand, what with everything going on…”

She hugged me once more, stopping herself from saying anything too upsetting about the wedding, and it felt nice to have her arms around me. It felt like I was finally getting the comfort that I needed when it came to my unborn child.

But then she pulled back, and her face turned very serious, which had me worried all over again. “I just want to tell you to forget about men. They aren’t worth it.” She held my shoulders tightly, staring deeply into my eyes. “Make that child the center of your world, and never waiver from that. Whoever the father is, whether he’s in your life or not, get rid of him and don’t tell him about the baby.”

Okay, this conversation had taken a weird turn–and for me to feel that after all I’d been through recently, that was saying something. Clearly her feelings about Brad were coming out here, and I probably shouldn’t pay too much attention. “Men have run off for far less.”

“Yeah, okay, Mom.” I wrapped her up in my arms, while she continued to cry.

Although I knew that she was upset, but considering what was going on with her, and what had happened with Rhett, I couldn’t help but wonder if she was right. Maybe never telling Rhett was the right solution. I’d thought about it hypothetically of course, but deep down I’d always assumed that things wouldn’t really end up that way; but maybe, just maybe, that was the way that things were supposed to be.

Maybe everything here had happened for a reason, and it was all exactly as it was supposed to be.