Chapter 29

Danica

 

Thankfully, the hotel staff held themselves responsible for the clean up after the wedding, so I could give into my exhaustion and go home.

I didn’t want to get in a cab with Mom and Brad because I couldn’t really face them, and I wasn’t sure where Rhett was, so I snuck into a car all by myself. For all I knew, Rhett was at home anyway, in my room just waiting for me, and I was excited to be by his side once more. There had been a lot of unsaid promises between us as we danced, and I couldn’t wait to explore that further.

As the car whizzed towards our home, I gazed out of the window, smiling to myself. Even though things weren’t perfect, they were the best they’d ever been and I couldn’t see anything ever tearing us apart again. All the uncertainty was gone from my mind and for the first time, I felt really certain that we would be able to make things work.

I even thought that I could tell him about the baby and that we would get through it somehow. Not that I would right now; the moment had to be right. But when that time came, I was sure that all would be okay, and that he would stick by my side. Sure, everyone else would have an issue with it, but Rhett wouldn’t. I was certain of it.

As the car pulled up outside our home, I got a little bit excited at the thought he was inside. Since he was literally nowhere at the hotel, he had to be back home.

But as I walked through the front door, and I ambled through the downstairs rooms of the house, the only person I came across was Brad, sitting at the kitchen table drinking the largest mug of coffee that I’d ever seen.

Even though he was my stepfather now, I still felt uncomfortable around him, and that aura clung to me like a bad smell.

“He=hello,” I stammered, feeling my face heat up as the embarrassment started to consume me. “Are you all right?” I needed to change this, to make things easier if we were going to be a family forever, but that was going to take some time.

“Yes, fine thank you,” he replied easily enough, but because I was stone cold sober, whereas he had obviously been drinking, I could easily spot that he was being fake.

“Where is everyone else?” I moved to sit at the table with him, then thought better of it at the last minute. I didn’t want to commit to a sit down conversation with someone that I really didn’t have anything to say to. I needed to be able to make my escape if needed.

“Your mom is upstairs getting changed out of her dress,” he said. I nodded slowly, waiting for him to continue, to tell me where Rhett was, but he stayed oddly silent, and he continued supping his drink.

“Where’s Rhett?” I couldn’t help but ask. “Did he travel back with you?” I was already pretty sure that he hadn't, but I wasn’t sure how else I could form that question without making myself sound guilty.

“Oh, didn’t he tell you?” he asked innocently, but he was smirking a little to himself, which made me incredibly suspicious. “He came back before everyone else, and he packed his stuff to go home. He told me that he wanted to get back quickly, to get back to his real life. That now the wedding was done, he had nothing to stick around for.”

“What?” I gasped in utter shock. I knew that didn’t sound like something Rhett would say, but I couldn’t work out why Brad would lie. Sure, he had some issues with his son, but that still didn’t explain why he would make that up.

So did that make it real? Would Rhett actually say that? And where did that leave me? I couldn’t believe that all the self-doubt was back with a vengeance–I was back on the rollercoaster once more. “Really? He’s gone?” I no longer even cared that I was giving our little secret away by our over the top emotions–not even when Brad sent me a knowing smirk that should have sent terror coursing through my veins. “Why did he say that?”

But I didn’t even bother to wait for him to respond. I didn’t want to hear what he had to say, not when he was giving me that look; I just needed to find Rhett to find out what the hell was going on. Once I spoke to him, nothing else would matter; we could sort everything else out afterwards.

But as I got to Rhett’s room, it was clear that Brad was telling the truth. As much as I didn’t want to accept it, Rhett was gone. He really didn’t see me as worth sticking around for. Somehow, I’d managed to get everything so messed up in my mind, clearly seeing emotions that weren’t there.

As everything that had happened between us spun through my mind, I tried to work out exactly where I’d misread the signals, but I couldn’t. It was all so real, and I couldn’t accept that he was that much of a player that he would have me believing things that weren’t there. No one was that good.

I wandered around his room, not seeing anything that suggested he was ever even there. It was as if he never even existed in this room. It was spic and span, not a trace of anything Rhett related. He’d officially vanished.

Did I really mean nothing to him?

Tears pricked my eyes as I realized that everything I’d assumed was real was a lie. And that despite everything, I was going to be raising this child alone, after all.

With my heart pounding and my fingers trembling, I grabbed my phone from my bag and called him right away. If he was gone, then I needed to know why. I demanded an explanation, which I thought I rightfully deserved. There was no way that he could just go, and not say anything. I couldn’t imagine him as that bad a person.

But the phone just rang out.

What the hell? What was going on? This made absolutely no sense!

I peeked out of the window to see his car still sitting there on the driveway, but he was still not here. Of course, he wouldn’t have been driving after drinking at the wedding, but that didn’t stop it hurting to see that one small remnant of him still there. There was no denying it, however much I didn’t want to accept it: Rhett was gone.

For some reason, he’d left me behind, and I absolutely had to find out what that reason was. What was so important that he had to just vanish like that?

I raced back down the stairs with my mind racing all over the place. I was so desperate to find out was going on that nothing else mattered. All I needed were my answers, so when I bumped into Mom on the landing, who was now dressed comfortably in her pyjamas, I grabbed her by the arms and I begged her to tell me truth.

“Where’s Rhett?” I pleaded her, no longer caring what she suspected or thought. I was in full panic mode, and that was that. “Why has he gone?” Our conversation from earlier flicked back into my memory–the one where she commented that it was a shame we were now stepbrother and sister–but it was too late to back track now.

“Oh, Brad said he got a little overwhelmed by the wedding and he went home to see his mom.” She looked at me a little concerned, so I nodded quickly as if I understood and that made perfect sense, but really I didn’t believe a word. Brad was lying and I didn’t know why.

“Right, okay, thank you,” I gasped, before spinning on my heels and racing into my room. I needed to be alone, to deal with this by myself.

Then I grabbed my phone, and I started to call Rhett again. Something had happened, and I really needed to know what. There was no way we could go from the intense moment on the dance floor, to him running away. There was something I was missing, and I wouldn’t rest until I found out what.

But he still wasn’t answering, and I thought that I might just end up going insane.

‘Rhett, please talk to me. Please tell me what’s going on? x’ I texted before ringing again, but he was still ignoring me.

I felt devastated. What the hell was going on now? How had I ended up back in this area of the unknown? I thought we were solid now. I slumped my body back on the sheets trying to figure out what I didn’t know. I was pretty sure that Brad might know more than he was letting on because of that fakeness and the smirk, but I couldn’t exactly go down there and ask him. I didn’t even know the guy. And there was no way that he’d tell me anyway.

It was a whole God damn mess.

‘Rhett, please let me know what’s going on. I’ll help you; I’ll do whatever I can. Don’t shut me out–I thought we were over all the crazy game-playing now? Please x’

I wanted to tell him that I loved him, because I was pretty sure that was exactly how I felt, but it didn’t feel like the right time or way to do so. It seemed more like the thing I should say to his face, not in a message when he wasn’t even talking to me.

Why did he have to leave before I could finally say what I needed to say?

I lay down, still fully dressed in my wedding gear, with the phone clutched tightly between my fingers just waiting for him to reply. He would eventually, for sure, if I meant anything to him. I would just have to wait.

But the wait might just kill me.

The tears that threatened to come earlier finally cascaded down my cheeks. It was obvious now that we could never be together, that the universe was never going to aligns to allow that to happen. It was too complex, too much and that was the end of it. I’d been naïve and idiotic to assume otherwise.

All my dreams and my fantasies came crashing down around me as a cold, stark reality hit. We could never be a couple with the blessing of our parents; we could never be us and be happy. That was a pipe dream that would never be anything more.

I was an idiot. I’d got sucked in by a romantic dream, and for that I was a fool. I only had myself to blame.

From now on, it was just my baby and me, and that was that. The sooner I accepted that, the better. And now without the distraction of the wedding keeping my mind occupied, I wouldn’t be able to think of anything else.

Plus, there was no longer anything holding me back from telling my mom the truth. I was going to have to finally confess that I was having a baby, although I wouldn’t be able to tell her who the father was–especially now.

But I wouldn’t do it yet, I would wait just a little while longer until the wedding faded from memory. That wasn’t an excuse this time, I just didn’t want to be a thunder stealer. And to be honest, I wanted a little bit of time to recover from this heartbreak first.

Shit was about to get real, certain things were about to be revealed, and I was just going to have to deal with that in the best way I could.