CHAPTER 27
Elsa
I loved being in his arms during the drive and he seemed to like it as well. I was excited for our next destination since meeting Melissa had been wonderful, but there was a part of me that was envious of Angela. She’d had a part of him that no other woman had, his baby inside of her. I imagined the bond that they shared even with their apparent heartbreak. I wondered if he’d want to put another baby inside of her as we drove and felt sad about his story.
I didn’t think he wanted to have a baby with me since he wore those condoms. Not that I wanted one, not yet since I was so young and it was still ingrained in my mind that I should be married first. I just didn’t think that he wanted any of that with me and that we were having sex.
Lots of sex.
I couldn’t get enough of Aidan and last night had made me a different woman in some way. I realized that going back home was getting further away from me but if I chose that, would any Amish man be like that? It seemed to be obligatory if you looked around at the couples that I knew, and I didn’t see that passion between any of them. My parents barely held hands, but they were just so busy working all of the time.
I remembered a time when they’d been morose, and I wondered if it was a miscarriage. Things like that weren’t discussed openly too much, and I just remember Mama being so happy before she was suddenly sick and sad. She’d stayed in bed a lot, and I’d handled the cooking and cleaning while I took care of her. I was thirteen then. I found a game on my phone and played it as I fed the cats and set up their toys as music played over the radio and Aidan sang along.
I loved driving with him. There was something soothing about it, and I made sure to look at the scenery regularly as I played my mindless games and let my mind wander. Aidan seemed content just to keep crossing state lines and a little lost in thought as we moved along. I couldn’t help but think that I hadn’t been through most of what he had, and that was only what I knew about. I had only had sex with him, though I suppose essentially leaving so abruptly for my rumspringa was a big event in my life. That was really it, though, and I wondered if he could love somebody like me.
I knew in the beginning that I could love a man like him. He was bigger than life sitting at the supper table that night and now? I was in deep even as I fought the feelings. All of this physical reaction inside of me confused me, and I leaned against him as I took a slow breath. “Are you scared to go back, Aidan? To Afghanistan?”
“Yes. You never know what can happen there,” Aidan told me as he slipped his hand to take mine. “I like this, just driving and seeing the United States.”
I paused and looked at the rolling green hills as I wondered if I was crazy to suggest the next thing. “I’ll wait for you to come home, Aidan. I’ll be here for you when you’re finished if that’s what you want.” He merely squeezed my hand, and I wanted to take the words back. This was a trip for him and some sex, nothing more. What was I thinking?
We drove into a small city in Nebraska, and he pulled into a grocery store for some drinks and road snacks. I offered to get out with him and go in, but Aidan smiled as he told me that he’d surprise me with something. I settled back in the seat and looked around at the people going about their lives, which made me giggle. I felt like I was on the run and here they were just living their lives. I had always been so interested in what others were doing, and now I felt like my life was the happiest that it had ever been. I didn’t pay attention to the store until I saw someone coming my way. I think it was Aidan, but he had so many flowers in his arms that it was hard to tell. “What are you doing?” I jumped out of my seat and opened the door to run up to him.
“These are for you.” He told me as I started to take them from his arms and wrap my arms around them as I laughed. He stared into my face for a long moment before he kissed me and I heard applause in the parking lot as I pulled away to see a few clerks clapping as they watched us. I blushed, and he kissed me again. “Thank you for doing this with me, Elsa.”
“Why are they clapping?” I asked him as he held the door for me so I could get into the car with all of the bouquets.
“They haven’t seen a man buying all of their flowers before. People love romance.” Aidan smiled at me as he watched me get settled and start to smell each bouquet. My face hurt from smiling so widely, and I felt warmth surge through me. He walked around to his side and produced a small bag that had some drinks, chips and candy in it that he set between us as he looked over at me. “What’s your favorite?”
I thought for a moment as I looked at all of the colors and the variety. “I love the red roses and their smell. I think my very favorite are the tulips, though. We planted every year at the farm, and I loved those few weeks when they’d peek through the grass, and I made vases from them.” Sadness enveloped me for a moment as I missed my family but I looked at the flowers again. “Is this what men do for women when they’re dating?”
“The good ones do,” Aidan told me as he started the car for the last leg of the trip. “Are you okay?”
“I’m so happy, Aidan. I just wish that I could call my Mama and tell her that. She’d love these flowers.”
“You can bring her some back,” Aidan promised me as I looked over at him. Was I going to go back or find a way to make it in the world when he returned to Afghanistan? “If you decide to stay out in the world, you can plant some and bring them to her.” It was as if he’d read my mind.
I opened one of the drinks and took a long sip after I’d put the flowers carefully in the back of the car apart from the tulips. It was a sports drink, and I took in the sweet and sour flavor of the red juice as I looked at the end of the town that we were in. Aidan offered me the option of a quick trip to a state park or a zoo before we left Nebraska and I mulled the idea over. I loved walking around Gettysburg and seeing everything, but I had a special place in my heart for animals as well. The fact that he told me it was an aquarium as well intrigued me even further. I said that I wanted to go to the zoo.
Aidan got directions, and we made sure that everything was secured in the back of the car before we walked to the entrance and paid to get inside. I was like a child as we walked inside and I looked around as Aidan read aloud from the paper that we’d been given. We both wanted to see the lemurs, and we walked along as I delighted in seeing the little creatures swinging in the trees as they called across the exhibit to one another. We healed hands, and the sun warmed my legs as the pretty green skirt blew around my knees on the gentle wind.
I also loved the cage that had all of the cats inside of it, big and little. The cheetahs were beautiful as well with their sleek bodies and lovely spots. I caught Aidan smiling at me several times during the visit as I gasped and stared at the animals.
The aquarium silenced me. I had never seen such a thing. There were big tanks of water with sharks inside and Aidan hugged me as I pressed myself up against him and stared at them. I looked down in the big tank with various creatures that I could touch, and Aidan pushed me forward gently as he urged me to try it. He even got my phone from me and snapped pictures of me touching the soft and colorful sea anemone and the beautiful starfish as they remained stuck to their rock or even the glass. The feeling of touching them was amazing, and I made Aidan do it as I took random photos of him. He looked happy here. I memorized his handsome face as I snapped another photo of Aidan laughing as an anemone started to close around his finger as if he was a meal, from what the kind woman told us that worked there.
Once we were done there and let some children step in, he walked me around and told me all about the various fish and sea life there. I giggled at all of the penguins that waddled around their area and snapped a lot of pictures of them. The spider crabs were large and scary but behind glass as I bravely snapped a picture.
Aidan explained that I could find a lot of shows on youtube about sea life and learn from them since I hadn’t had the chance before now.
After we’d seen everything at the zoo, Aidan led me to the gift shop, and I walked around looking at all of the cute things that they sold. He insisted on buying me a penguin and a key chain with a starfish on it, and I kissed him as the young girl handed me the bag. “Thank you.” We left to finish our trip, and I smiled as I held my keepsakes and looked behind us. “Every place has one of these?”
“The bigger cities, yes.” He started the car, and I thought to myself that’d love to see all of them. Aidan explained that many zoos and aquariums helped the animals that were injured by offering them a safe home and studying them to learn more and I wanted to know everything about that. “We’ll see how many we can go to.”
“You read my mind,” I smiled at him as I stroked my soft penguin and looked down at him.
“It’s way too fun watching you discover the world. Wait until you have kids, Elsa. You’ll see what I see,” Aidan assured me as I frowned. I didn’t want to think about a life without him right now, and that was just too much to think about, but I allowed myself to think about the twins and imagined bringing them here to picture what he meant.
We stopped for a quick sandwich before we were pulling into Colorado and finding Angela’s house on the edge of a cozy little town. While Melissa’s was peaceful and pleasant, this was smaller with a beautiful yard filled with flowers and trees and a lovely front porch. We parked, and Aidan took our bags from the trunk as I glanced sadly at my wilting flowers. “It was worth it to see the look on your face, Elsa.”
We walked up the path to the door, and he rang the doorbell as I looked over the sunny yard. I knew that it would be getting dark soon, and I looked forward curiously as a pretty blonde opened the door. She looked at Aidan with a huge smile and then gave me a curious look, which was similar to Melissa’s reaction as I smiled. “I can’t believe that you’re here!” She pulled him into his arms and a part of me imagined them together as I watched quietly from the side. “I’m Angela Jones.” She offered me her hand, and I took it as I told her my name and she ushered us inside.
There was a peace and comfort to this house, and I assumed that Angela hadn’t had kids since she seemed to live alone. Every room in the small cottage was a little paradise, and I imagined reading here or just looking into either yard since the back was prettier than the front. There was a deck with a modest cooker and chairs that overlooked flowers and a pretty pond, and I smiled as I told her how much I loved it.
“It’s my little slice of Heaven,” Angela agreed as she stood beside me in a loose pink dress and bare feet. I didn’t know what I expected, but she was very content and easy going as she led us into the kitchen. She kept smiling at Aidan, and I could see that she loved him much like Melissa. Even though she seemed to live alone, I didn’t feel any threat. She had everything that she needed here and she was just interested in catching up with him.
I wondered what it must have been like to see him broken and unhappy when she first met him. Had that been what made her fall in love with him? He was so outgoing here, and they laughed as he talked the way he had when I first met him. I sipped my wine from the pretty glass that she gave me and thought about how it wasn’t bubbly and sweet like the other drinks that I’d had but rather smooth and slightly sweet.
She listened closely to him, and I could see what made her a good therapist even though she explained that she taught Sociology at Colorado State University which was a couple of towns away. She’d given up the other job a few years after she’d treated Aidan and I could see by the look that she shared with him that it had a lot to do with their loss. I merely nodded as I didn’t want to reveal that I knew about the baby and watched Aidan intently as he sipped a cold beer and asked her about teaching.
Angela still loved helping people as she gushed about it and soon I found myself helping her prepare thick filets of salmon in the kitchen to grill outside. I had never eaten so much outside in my life. Aidan offered to cook, and I watched him hungrily as he started the fire in the coals and smiled in the sun. I knew that I was in trouble, and I noticed Angela smiling at me. “More wine?” I nodded and helped her inside with a fresh salad and more corn on the cob that she boiled in a pot of water with butter and milk. While her kitchen wasn’t big, I imagined it was more like one of the chef style ones that Melissa had mentioned with the fancy things inside, including a little island in the middle.
She was very talkative, and we discussed the trip so far and what I’d seen. Angela laughed as I described our trip to the zoo and her head turned as she heard Aidan calling to us from the backyard. “He looks good, doesn’t he?” She asked as my heart dropped into my stomach and nodded. “That’s good to see.” She pulled a beautiful plate from the cupboard and carried it to him for the fish before she came in, and we plated the corn and brought it outside with the salad. Angela popped back in for some butter, salt and pepper before she sat across from us at the glass patio table. Aidan had already kissed me in the time that she was outside, and I was smiling. I was happy from the wine and just being with Aidan as I felt him rest his hand on my leg over the dress as we started to talk about Colorado.