CHAPTER 19
Elsa
I sat on the bed in the dim room as I took it all in. I thought about how big the world was and about my place in it as I pushed the buttons on the device that Aidan gave me. There were live pictures on the screen, and I stared in wonder at them. I saw people discussing the world, and I felt scared as they spoke about crime and violence that was happening all over the place. It made me wonder if that was the reason that people returned to the community as I watched images of war and death play across the big screen. It was so much easier to see it here than on my phone.
I changed the channel to a show with some people sitting at a table having a conversation as the sound of laughter filled the room. Who was laughing? I tilted my head and looked as they kept speaking and then wondered if there was an audience watching this as they filmed it on their cameras. Is that how television shows were made? The jokes that were said didn’t make much sense to me, and I looked longingly at the wall that Aidan was just beyond. I could hear the water running, and I clicked on another channel as I sighed.
I flushed at the scene that was playing before my eyes. It was a woman with a man bent over her. They were both naked, and it appeared that he was biting her skin as I found myself leaning closer. What was this?
He was blonde and very tall and muscular as he ate at the woman while she clung to him. They were in a bed much like this one, and I imagined what it would feel like for it to be Aidan doing that to me, whatever that was. She was moving under him and saying the name Eric over and over as I paid attention to my body. My breasts had had tips on them that were painful with a pressure that I didn’t know what to do with. I frowned and slid my palm over my dress to feel them as a shock went through my body.
Eric moved down over the woman’s breasts and sucked them into his mouth as she cried out and arched her back. I knew that moms fed their babies this way but what was he doing? Did Eric feed as well?
She was curvier than I was and I frowned as I wondered if that’s what men wanted.
I felt a throbbing between my legs and more pressure. I had no idea what to do with that, and I stared in fascination as the bodies joined on the screen and started moving together. This seemed so real that I was wondering if the people on television were really having sex with each other. I began to feel hot, and sweat pooled in my hair that was hanging around my face as I took a deep breath.
The movements on the screen grew more frantic and loud responses filled the room as I pressed my thighs together and felt something surge through me.
I wanted that, but not with any Amish boy that was experiencing his freedom. I wanted it with Aidan. He knew what he was doing if women were sending him picture messages inviting him over to their house. I saw them cry out loudly on the screen as she seemed to shake under him and he roared her name. Sickie? I’d never heard that name.
I stood and started to pace as the pressure got worse. I didn’t know what to do, and I found myself turning towards the bathroom door as I longed for him just to touch me. I wanted to shake the way she did in the show, and I glanced at the screen to see him biting her neck and sucking.
I didn’t know if I wanted that but I walked again and slowly made my way to the closed door. I tried it gently to find that it was unlocked, and my cheeks warmed. I couldn’t just barge in since he might not want me to see him naked. Aidan might not want me at all. I tapped on the door with a gentle hand and called out his name. “Aidan? Can I come in?”
There was no response, but my body forced me to call out his name again. “Aidan?”
I heard him tell me to come in though he sounded like he might be getting a sore throat with the way his voice was. It echoed over the sound of the water, and that might be why. I turned the door again and pushed it open to see a little room filled with smoke as I coughed. I stepped inside and turned to look through the glass where he stood and had to squint from the way the hot air made it hard to see inside. “What is that?”
“It’s steam from the hot water,” he replied as I moved forward and wiped at the glass with my hand. “What are you doing?”
“I needed to see all of you, Aidan.” I felt breathless. “I was sitting out there, watching something. I just needed you.” He ran his hands over his skin as something lathered under the water and a fresh scent filled the air. Soap. He had turned to the side, and my eyes passed over the scars that covered his left arm and chest with a fleeting concern. It wasn’t offensive to me to see him this way, and I leaned closer.
Aidan was muscular, so much more so with no clothing on. He was perfect with planes of muscle over his body even under the scars that he seemed to try to hide as he shrunk back against the wall. He was sticking out between his legs and heat pooled between my legs as I looked at my first penis ever. I remembered that it was drilled into my head that sex was sinful and wrong. He was big and hard, and I wondered how that would even fit as a wave of lust washed over me again.
Aidan saw me looking at him, and I recognized the confident look in his eyes. He slid a hand down his stomach and fisted himself in his hand as he watched my face. “You make me this way,” he told me as he stroked up and down as I watched in rapt attention. “I can’t stop thinking about you, Elsa.” Aidan stroked more, slower and harder and I felt my knees weaken as a strange desire struck me.
This was so unfamiliar, and I stepped back to run my hands up my legs. I was damp and sweaty, and I lifted my skirt to pull the dress over my head in one swift movement. I only wore the scrap of lace between my legs and my breasts puckered despite the heat in the room as he stared into my eyes. They hurt with need, and I looked down my pale stomach before I slid the underwear down my slim thighs. I had no idea what I was doing, but I couldn’t stop, and I dropped them to the ground. I met his eyes again as I found the entrance to the shower with my hand and stepped inside, up against his hot wet skin. “Elsa.”
I moved in front of him and shook as I stared up at the ceiling. I was here, but I didn’t know what to do or what to say. My arms hung uselessly at my side before I smelled the soap again and hands touched my back. “Aidan.” My voice was a whimper as he traced my sides and made me shiver.
“Let me wash you,” I nodded as he traced up and down my back with the bar of soap for a few moments and sucked my breath in a few deep gulps. He moved down my legs and stroked them gently as he soaped them up and slid his hands back up to my thighs. I felt every nerve in my body responding and leaned my head back as he released my body for some more soap. Once he stroked my stomach and up over my swollen breasts I moaned and arched into him. Aidan soaped me up as he ran his fingers back and forth over my nipples and I felt like dropping to the ground.
“Oh, goodness. That feels good,” I whispered as he kept touching me and my legs pulsed with that pressure all over again. I didn’t know if this would make me shake or not but I relaxed against him as he hardened against my back and closed my eyes.
Aidan squeezed me and slipped a hand back over my tummy and into the soft curls between my legs as I whimpered. His fingers pushed against me and stroked me as I slipped my arms behind me and around his neck. He whispered my name as he moved his hand over me and found a spot that made me jerk against him. “Oh, oh, oh.” His finger stroked, and his other hand cupped my breast as he tugged gently on my nipple and I felt something start to break inside of me.
“That’s a girl,” He soothed me as he pressed harder and held me still. “Come for me.” I closed my eyes and rode the feeling before I exploded and stilled against him as stars burst behind my eyes. My body had feelings everywhere, and I cried out as I gripped him tightly and felt his lips on my neck. “So beautiful. I’ll never forget this, Elsa.”
I felt my body continue to pulse as he kept touching me and I shivered under the cooling water. “Is it always like that?”
“I hope so.” Aidan shut off the shower, and I turned to him as he pulled me close to him. “I always want you to feel that good. I always want you to give me everything like you just did.” His mouth found mine as I froze and allowed him to manipulate my lips with his soft mouth. There was a gentle urgency to this kiss, and I felt his tongue sliding against my lower lip before I parted my mouth. My thighs were still reacting to what had just happened, and I wrapped my arms tightly around his neck as he drove his tongue into my mouth and massaged mine as we moaned together.
I felt him slide the door and his voice telling me to hold on tight as he carried me out of the bathroom. I was soaking wet, and I wrapped my arms and legs around him as he took me carefully into the hotel room. Our lips never stopped meeting in long, clumsy kisses as he dropped me to the mattress and held me close as he covered his body with mine.
Aidan murmured my name as he pulled back to kiss my face, my jaw. He moved back to my swollen lips and kissed me breathless again before he moved his lips over my neck, and I wondered if he was going to bite me. He just sucked and nibbled gently, and I closed my eyes. I felt myself fall back as he cupped my breasts with his hands and kissed one of them while he teased the other. I watched as he sucked me between his lips and felt desire rush me all over again.
I felt overwhelmed as he sucked and kissed me for several moments as he brought me close to another explosion. I was scared of the force, but I also knew that I was craving it as I felt teeth drag gently across my pink nipples. “Aidan,” I moaned as he moved to the other one to make me feel just as good there. “This is so much better than I thought it would be.”
“It’s not finished. I am going to worship you,” Aidan promised me in a gruff voice as he started to kiss down my tummy. I watched with wide eyes as he moved down and gasped. Was he going to kiss me there? I’d never heard of such a thing, and I shivered as he kissed my inner thighs before stroking me with his tongue. “You’re so sweet. I love that I’m the first one tasting you this way.” I knew that I was still sensitive before, and I closed my eyes as my hips began to respond to his skillful mouth. I was close to another release before I felt him pull away and stare into my eyes. “I want to be inside of you, Elsa. I know that it’s your first time, and you’ll never get it back, but I want it to be me.”
“I want you to be my first,” I told him in a trembling voice as he swallowed thickly and looked my body over. “I want to do that again.”
He kissed my mouth again as I tasted something sweet and salty on his lips before pulling away to stare at him. “Is that what I taste like?” He nodded. “What do you taste like?”
“All in good time,” his voice sounded strained, and he kissed me again.
Aidan got something from his bag and returned to me on the bed before he looked into my eyes. “I am going to be gentle, but this will hurt for a bit, Elsa. Tell me if you want me to stop.”
His mouth covered mine again with deep soft kisses as he parted my legs with one hand. I heard something tearing and kept touching his tongue with mine as fingers stroked me again. One slipped inside of me, and I cried out with the sensation. Aidan pulled away and looked down at us as my eyes followed his gaze. “I’ll go slow for you, baby. I’ll take care of you.” I was mesmerized as he slid closer and then pressed just inside of me as his finger had, only bigger. He seemed to be struggling as he moved a little deeper and I gripped his neck with my arms to pull him closer. “You’re so wet for me. This will feel good once I’m in there.”
“Do it,” I urged him against his mouth as he moved slowly and steadily into me as the pain combined with an incredible pleasure. Something seemed to tear, and I held onto him tighter as he stilled and gave me a minute.
“There we go. It’ll be better soon.”
I breathed deeply before a sudden rush of desire filled my body and I slid one hand down his back. Aidan looked at me and slowly started to pull back and then push back inside as my moans turned to pleas for him to make love to me. Aidan moved slow as I scraped my nails against him and memorized the feeling of him stretching and filling me. Once I was crying out with every movement, he started to move harder, and I rocked against him as I felt everything happening to me inside. I paid attention as my body gripped him and then burst again as he let out a ragged moan. “Elsa, oh God. Elsa.” Aidan thrust hard and stilled as I held him inside of me and in my arms.
He kissed me as I wept softly in his arms for a beautiful first time. I knew that it was the best one that ever was and I loved the feeling in my body as I both kept going and recovering all at once. Aidan held me tight and kissed my face and my mouth as he skied me if I was okay over and over.
“That was so good, Aidan. That was everything that I wanted.” I promised him as I kissed him with hunger in my mouth. I wanted to kiss him all night, but eventually, I grew sleepy, and he dried me off before he carried me to the dry bed and held me in his arms as I drifted off safe in his arms. I thanked him as I snuggled against his marred chest and tried to memorize everything about him so that I would never forget about this day.