Chapter 9

Danica

 

“So that’s everything?” I asked the wedding planner once more. “Are you sure?”

Mom had hired this woman–Victoria something or another–to oversee everything, to confirm any details, and to ensure that we didn’t miss anything, but the majority of the planning was down to us.

Or, more likely, me.

And, it wasn't a challenge that I’d taken on lightly. It had all but consumed me from day to night. Mom was breezing through this wedding planning as if there was nothing in the world to worry about, just writing the odd check now and again, whereas I was a complete and utter mess. As her Maid of Honour, I felt like it was my duty to do all of the panicking for her, but that didn’t stop it from being difficult. I could barely sleep as new visions of things going wrong kept continually popping up in my brain.

When Mom married my dad, apparently, it was a tiny affair because they had no money. Brad, however, was willing to spend the Earth, and I wanted her to finally have the experience that she’d always wanted.

I knew that she was happy the way things had been before–on the odd occasion that we discussed my father, she always said as much–but if anyone deserved the biggest, whitest wedding, it was her, and it was up to me to ensure that her detailed vision came to life. Okay, Victoria was there, too, but this was her job, not her family. I just didn’t feel like she had the same amount of dedication as I did.

Sure, I wasn't one hundred percent convinced that this wedding was the smartest move for my mom, but that was an opinion that I was solely keeping to myself these days. It was too far gone, anyway–everything was organized. She wanted it, Brad wanted it, and I would just have to accept that although they had only been together a short while, that they just knew and that everything would be okay. I had to trust in their decisions, to let them do what was right for them.

As I stared up at the extremely tall Victoria, drinking in her perfect appearance once more, I wondered if she ever looked anything other than immaculate. I’d never seen her without every hair in place and makeup applied to perfection. This wasn't the sort of woman I could imagine slopping about in sweatpants with a messy bun in her hair, even during her spare time.

Maybe I should believe that she had that kind of obsessive compulsiveness when it came to her job. It was her business, after all, and she came very highly recommended.

I just struggled to let go...

“Yes,” she insisted firmly, sending me what I was certain she thought was a reassuring smile. It did nothing to curb my panic. “Everything has been ticked off your mom and Brad’s list, I’ve checked and rechecked all of the bookings, and there is no longer anything to worry about. Everything is ready–there is nothing else you can do.” She held my shoulders, and stared deeply into my eyes. “So will you just calm down already?”

I let out a deep breath, trying to act like I was listening to her, but the tight hot knot of panic was still there, dragging all of my insides into it. She could say anything she wanted to, but I knew I wouldn’t be able to stop worrying until the day was done and everything had gone perfectly.

Only a week left; how the hell was I going to survive?

Suddenly, another thought struck me. “Did you remember to add in a seat for Brad’s son at the meal?” This was a new addition to the plans. Apparently Brad’s son, whom he hadn’t seen for years–my mom hadn’t met him at any rate–was coming to the wedding. I had high doubts that he would turn up, but I didn’t want him to be chair-less on the off chance that he did come. I figured that it was better to have too many place mats set up, than not enough.

Who the hell would want to come and see their estranged father get married? Brad only seemed to have one picture of his son that sat on the mantelpiece: a twelve-year-old boy with long, stringy hair hanging in his face. It was clear they’d never been close. I asked Mom once where this kid was, but she didn’t know. In fact, she went very quiet about the whole thing, but when she learned he intended to come to the wedding, she went over the top in her desire to ensure he had a good time.

I had no intention of going out of my way to make him feel welcome, but that wasn't the point. I was only going to see him for a few hours on the day of the wedding. I would probably only get the opportunity to say hello, so it wasn't exactly at the top of my list of priorities.

“Yes, Danica, all is sorted. Now, you just relax and leave the rest to me.” She shot me a look, knowing that I was going to find letting go of the control difficult, but for the first time since I returned from Camp Woodtree, I no longer wanted that power. I needed a rest, a break from it all, so I nodded gratefully. My body was screaming at me to chill out for a while, and I actually felt inclined to agree.

“Okay, thanks, Victoria,” I smiled kindly at her, feeling utterly grateful for her presence. In that moment, she felt like a godsend. “You’re a star.”

And with that, I raced up the stairs and into my bedroom, glad for a few moments of sanctuary. I was absolutely exhausted and hoped that my meeting with Victoria would at least buy me an hour of peace because I could really use a nap. All the sleepless nights were finally catching up with me.

As I lay on the cool sheets of my bed, slowly feeling my eyes slipping into slumber, I thought back to Rhett once more. I’d thought about him every single day since we’d parted, but I’d been working constantly all day and night to help plan this wedding, which unfortunately meant that my end of the communication had slid. I kept meaning to return every call and reply to every message, but every day I got too busy to even know where the hell I was.

Originally, I’d hoped to invite Rhett to the wedding with me to help make the day pass in a much quicker and happier way, but now that felt too weird. It would be too out of the blue and probably too short notice for him. A week away just wasn't long enough for him to plan his journey down. Plus, I had no idea how I’d take it if he refused. Even the thought of that filled me with an intense dread.

I realized sadly that I would have to face the day alone.

 

***

 

The next thing I knew, I was back at Camp Woodtree, feeling the same relaxed sensation that my time there had given me. Afterwards had been nothing but stress, so it felt nice to be able to chill out and to look over the lake under the moonlight.

Arms snuck around my waist from behind me, and a pair of lips found their way to my neck. I lolled my head to one side as desire coursed through me with his kiss. All the lost time was gone, and we were back to being just us once more.

“Rhett,” I murmured as he made me feel special all over again. No one had ever made me feel the way he did, and it was a sensation that I’d sorely missed since we’d been apart. “You feel amazing.”

With that, he spun me around to face him, and I stared deep into his eyes. “You are amazing,” he replied. “And, I miss you.”

All the guilt that I felt for allowing so much time to slide crept up on me again and I hung my head in shame. I was an idiot for even risking such an amazing guy. I just prayed that he hadn’t met someone else...

But then his lips were back on mine, completely eradicating all of my fears. As his hands explored me, I fell backwards until my back hit something solid–the wall of my cabin–and eventually we found ourselves inside once more.

I glanced around, the memory of our last time together flooding back through me. So much had happened here, it felt like a monumental place, but I couldn't really appreciate that because the next time I looked at Rhett, he was completely naked.

And so was I.

“Come here,” he growled, encouraging me to step closer to him. As he wrapped me up in his arms, he pinned me against the wall where we ended up making frantic love as if it was going to be the last time we ever saw one another. I felt right and whole all over again.

I never wanted this moment to end...

 

***

 

I jumped awake with a start, still feeling dreadfully ill. I thought the terrible side effects of stress from all of this wedding planning might have subsided as I napped, but nope. I still felt dizzy, headachy, and more than a little sick. It was like a hangover I couldn't shake, no matter how hard I tried.

For a few moments, the nausea swirled so violently around in my stomach that I feared I might actually be sick. I sat up abruptly in my bed and grabbed the drink I always kept on my cabinet to try and make the sensation slide. As the cool liquid made its way down my throat, my pulse rate slowed slightly, but that was all it did to help. I had a few moments of deciding whether or not I needed to rush to the toilet to be sick before my body began to return to normal.

Then something very strange and unexpected happened, right out of the blue.

I burst into inexplicable tears.

As the emotion flooded through me and my face became wet with it, I quickly tried to pull myself together before the weeping became sobs. But I couldn't seem to calm down, no matter what I did. It’s just stress, I told myself, it’s only a few more days until all of this will be over and life can return to normal. But somehow, I wasn't totally convinced that was the only reason I was sad.

I’d been dreaming about Camp Woodtree, and Rhett, and as I’d come back into consciousness and realized none of it was real, it hit me that I’d probably wrecked things forever. Guys didn’t hang around for girls that didn’t show interest, and due to my distraction, I’d been playing it far too cool. Who knew, he may have even moved on by now.

The thought of Rhett with his arms around another girl, his lips on hers, giving her the same affection that he’d given me filled me with another wave of sadness and a fresh set of tears burst from my eyes. I didn’t want to accept that our summer fling was over, that the future that I’d been imagining would remain only a fantasy, but maybe it was time to do just that. To focus on what was real. On what I knew for certain, much as it hurt to do so.

There was no point in getting too upset over what ifs and what might have been.

However, the tears didn’t stop coming until my mother called me down to have something to eat, over an hour later. And the sadness didn’t subside even then.