Classes are crazy right now, but not as crazy as what happened the other night. I’ve kept it all in, until now, trying my best not to talk to Josie about it. My thoughts on James were simply this: he would be a one-time thing and then I’d be on my way.

Now, I’m not so sure. I can’t stop thinking about him. It’s like he’s riding two different lines. On the one hand, he’s completely successful, strong, smart, and confident. Plus, he’s funny sometimes. All of those things are great, but I’m not sure I can trust him. If he’s thirty-five and so great, why in the hell is he single?

Josie just sits there, in her living room, smiling way too big for my taste. “What?” I ask her. “You’re being weird.”

“I’m just so happy, and proud of you. I can’t believe you did it,” she says. “You lost your virginity. How does it feel to be a woman?”

“Stop. I’m twenty-three. I’ve been a woman for some time, you know,” I sigh. “Actually, now that I’ve done it, I feel kind of…”

I try to think of the word, but Josie is one step ahead of me. “Liberated?”

“No. More like, grossed out by the whole thing. Is this really what it’s all about? Sex?” I ask.

“Uh, yeah. Like, seventy-five percent of life is about sex. The rest is like, I don’t know, paying your bills and stuff. Kids. A house,” she says, counting her fingers.

“How utterly depressing,” I sigh.

“You’re going to see him again, right? I mean, does he want to?” she asks. “You had a good time, right?”

“I had a great time when I was in the moment. He kept asking to hang out again, but it was too fun messing with him. Honestly, I don’t know what’s going to happen. Maybe it should stay a one-time thing. Maybe I should move on and finish everything with my degree,” I say.

“Or maybe you should see this through because he totally likes you and is an insane catch,” she says. “Plus, even if it doesn’t work out, it’s a good life experience. Who cares?”

“Right. Who cares about my heart? After all, it’s just my heart.” I roll my eyes.

“I didn’t mean it like that,” she says. “I just mean, sometimes, you have to just try something. Even if it’s scary, you never know what could happen. Maybe you two will fall in love.”

“Doubt it. It’s just a thing of lust,” I tell her. “Plain and simple. It was fun, but I’m not sure it’s a good idea for me to call him again.”

“You’re going to call him again. Plain and simple. If you don’t, I’m not sure if we can be friends anymore,” she says. I roll my eyes back hard and pretend I’m dying. “Stop being dramatic. By the way, you’re going to this party tonight with me, aren’t you?”

“Party? You never told me you were going to a party,” I say.

“I texted you saying we’re going to have fun tonight,” she says.

“So that means we’re going out partying?” I ask her.

“Yes!” she exclaims. “Yes it does!”

“Well, I’m sorry to burst that bubble of yours, but I don’t think it’s—”

“A good idea?” She gives a devious smile and a “sexy” wink.

“Exactly,” I laugh, but remain proud of myself for not giving in.

“Nothing is a good idea to you,” she says. “Will you just go? You can leave after an hour of being there.”

“Why do you want me to go so bad?” I ask her. “What are you planning, girl?”

“Jarod from Women’s Studies is going to be there. He invited me. We’re kind of… I don’t know. Never mind. It’s stupid,” she says. She reaches into a drawer and pulls out a handwritten note.

“Tell me,” I say, “what’s on that piece of paper?”

“He loves me,” she says. “Like, is obsessed with me.”

“Gross,” I say.

“If he was weird, it would be. Unfortunately, he’s another perfect specimen, almost like your doctor but without the years that men need in order to grow up,” she says.

“Men never grow up,” I whisper.

“I hear you, sister.” She raises the note high in the air and closes her eyes. “But I have to go. It would be rude of me not to.”

“You really like this guy, don’t you?” I ask her. “Oh, fuck. Josie, are you falling for someone?”

“Don’t test me,” she says, eyes creased. “I’ve never loved anyone, ever.”

“Me neither,” I sigh.

“You’re coming with me to the party,” she says. “Bring the doctor if you’d like, but it might be weird bringing a guy in his thirties to a college party.”

“Yeah, I think I’ll pass,” I say. Underneath the table, however, I text James saying, “What’re you up to tonight?” I hold my breath and wait for his response.