Have you ever felt your heart physically hurt inside your body? Before now, I had never felt that. Before Vi, things were always normal. It wasn’t the most exciting life, but there wasn’t any pain attached to it. I just did my job, went out with some women to pass the time, and went to sleep. That’s how it was before her. I led a simple life.

Now, everything has fallen apart. Picture this: a grown man as sexy as me, laying on his bathroom floor with a bottle of bourbon in hand. It ain’t a pretty picture, right? That’s what this woman has done to me. She makes my head spin, my stomach turn, and my eyes wince.

She knew what was going to happen. She did it anyway. Of course she did. Why wouldn’t she? Here’s a woman who’s hell bent on playing games. From the very first night we met, she wanted to destroy everything that I had become. To her, I was just the enemy, waiting to bring her down. Yet, I had no fucking clue.

Vi. A bank robber. A criminal. It’s unfathomable to me. This woman has put me in the worst position known to man.

Lying on my bathroom floor, I hear my phone vibrate. I glance at the screen, but I can’t make out the name. I’m too fucking drunk and heartbroken for this shit. I answer it anyway, hearing Adam’s stupid voice in the phone. I can’t let him know about Virginia. He’d rub it in my face, gladly.

“Where are you, man?” he asks. “You were supposed to be here over an hour ago.”

“I’m piss drunk,” I say. “Leave me the hell alone.”

“You’re what?!” he screams. I can hear him scurrying out of the station. Outside, I can hear the cars whizz by. It’s about 9 AM and my head is throbbing. The thought of going out into the real world right now completely disturbs me. How could anyone do that at a time like this?

“Man, you have to be here. Craig just woke up from his coma. We’re hoping to get some information out of him later today,” he says.

“Fuck,” I groan. “The bastard woke up already? You’re not going to get any answers today. It’s too soon.” My words are slurred, but I’m capable of forming some coherent sentences at least.

“You need to be here. Freddie’s going to flip,” he says.

“Tell him I’ve got a fever. I’m puking my brains out. Tell him anything. I don’t give a damn. I can’t drive a car, let alone walk into work like this,” I tell him.

“Dammit, Marshall,” he sighs. “I’m coming over. Don’t do anything stupid.”

“Like hell you are!” I scream, but he just hangs up the phone. “Bastard.”

It feels like only seconds have passed when he knocks on my door. “Come in!” I yell, unable to pick myself off the ground.

I hear his footsteps in the hallway. I look up and see him standing over me. “You weren’t lying,” he laughs. “You’re totally fucked up, aren’t you?”

“Shut the fuck up, Adam,” I say. “Don’t be like that, right now. I’m hurting.”

“Headache? You need some Advil?” he asks.

“It’s my heart, dammit,” I say. “She took my heart, squished it in her hands, threw it on the pavement, and stepped all over it. She broke it into a million pieces. Now, I’ve got nothing to live for. Nothing.”

“Jesus, man,” he leans over and hands me a water bottle. “I’ve never seen you like this before. I thought women were a dime a dozen to you.”

“You envy me, right? You envy this?” I laugh with malice. “Women used to mean nothing to me. And then I met her. Virginia!”

I’m an embarrassing piece of shit. At least, that’s how I feel. Melodramatic. A man isn’t supposed to hurt like this. He’s supposed to pick himself up, dust off his jeans, and get back into the ring. Instead, I’m laying on the floor, drunk as hell, and I’m on the verge of tears.

“What happened?” he asks me.

“Why’d you always blame her, man?” I skip over his question. “You always made her out to be a criminal.”

“I didn’t,” he says. “Elroy said that the woman—”

“Fuck Elroy!” I yell, sitting up. The room starts to spin, but I manage to stop it in my head. “We were partners. You’re supposed to stick by me, man. You can’t go around blaming people for shit they didn’t do.”

“I wasn’t blaming her. I was keeping the option open. This case is important to me,” he says. Anyway, he was right. He doesn’t know it, but he hit the nail right on the head.

“Well, you can fuck off with your assumptions,” I say. “Anyway, it doesn’t matter anymore. She’s gone. She left me for good.”

“I don’t understand. I thought you were in love,” he says. “I saw you two together yesterday. You looked happy enough.”

That was back when life was perfect. Funny how it wasn’t that long ago, but it feels like another life entirely. “Shit happened, okay? She’s gone. Let’s leave it at that,” I say. “And I’m not coming into work. Not today, anyway.”

“You don’t want to be the one to question Craig?” he asks. “You sure? It wouldn’t bring you any joy?”

“I’m done caring about justice.” I smile. “You hear me? Done. I’ll be there tomorrow. Talk to Craig. I don’t give a flying fuck what happens.”

He gets up from kneeling next to me and shakes his head. “Get some rest, man. You’re losing it. I miss the old Marshall,” he says. I feel an angered sadness waiting to burst inside of me. He misses the old Marshall? Well, shit. I wish I’d never been born in the first place. Then, Virginia couldn’t have broken my heart.

“See you tomorrow,” I whisper. Tomorrow. Sure.