I have to tell her. I have to tell her the truth of my situation: I won’t be around much longer. Now, that they’ve found me, I need to leave. I need to go home and face what I started.

“I have to leave in a few days,” I finally say, as we’re laying in bed in the darkness.

“Where are you going?” she asks me with a look of confusion in her eyes. She seems hurt and I don’t blame her. I fucked up on this one. It’s just that I needed her badly. I still do.

I’m going to sell my house, my car, and everything I own. I’m going to face Hawk and determine my next move. He’s going to be more than angry. I’ve seen his torturous ways before. I’ve seen the way he dealt with the others. I was always smarter than them. However, everyone’s luck eventually runs out sooner or later.

“Back to London,” I lie. “Back to the city and my mum. She’s sick and can’t afford a nurse at home.”

“You’re leaving to London?” she’s stunned. “You’re joking, right?” She tries to laugh, but it’s obvious that I’m not joking.

“Oh, I don’t want to leave,” I groan and wrap my arms around her. “But I have to. What else can I do?”

“You’re filthy rich,” she laughs. “Just fly her overseas.”

“It’s not that simple,” I say, kissing the top of her head. She thinks I’m a total fucking cunt right now. She’s right, of course. I’m an asshole. I knew all along I would have to leave eventually. But I couldn’t let her get away. She’s the most gorgeous woman I’ve ever laid eyes on. It’s maddening.

“My mum,” I continue. “She’s a little old fashioned, you see? She’s lived in the same flat for over forty years. She’s not leaving anytime soon. She told me she’d rather die than leave, Erica.”

She sits there with a sour look on her face. “Okay,” she says, turning away from me. “I hope your mother starts to feel better.”

I don’t know if my mother is alive or dead. It’s been a lifetime since I’ve seen her. I’m a horrible person. I can’t believe I hurt this angel like this. I wish I could make things right, but I can’t. This is just how the cards were dealt.

“Come now,” I whisper. “We have tonight. We’ll always have tonight.”

“Yeah, but,” she starts, but then just ends up sighing loudly. “Forget it.”

“What? Tell me,” I plead.

“It’s just that,” she gives a frustrated noise, unable to articulate what she’s feeling. I already understand her. “I thought maybe we could do this again. You know, like, maybe we could go out somewhere.”

“You told me you didn’t want to. You said you were married, remember?” I think about the time with her in the bathroom. It was so hot to see her trembling with fear over me.

“I was being stupid,” she says. She turns back around. “I’m getting divorced, Walker. I’m happy about it. I just thought you might have wanted to see me one last time.”

“I do,” I say. I actually do. I’m not lying anymore. I wanted to take her out, to spoil her to no end, and spank her ass silly. Now, because of Hawk, I won’t be able to indulge. It’s bullshit, as they say here. “I really like you, Erica.”

“Then stay. Don’t leave me here,” she says. “I hate this place. If you leave, I’ll leave too. I’ll go up north somewhere. I’ll go to Canada.”

I kiss her body and move closer to her. “I’m sorry for everything,” I say. “But I’ll be back. And when I am, I’ll find you.”

“What about your phone? Do you have an email? There was an email on the card, right?” she asks.

“I won’t be able to talk too much out there. Besides, the boyfriend experience is over,” I sigh. “For now at least. It was a good run. I made some damn good money. But don’t you think it was a little funny of a job? I couldn’t keep going out with these sad women after I’ve met you. It would feel too wrong.”

She doesn’t even know what to say. She just lies there, stiff. “Whatever,” she finally says. “I don’t care.”

“I’ll find you,” I say again. “I promise.”

“Just lay with me,” she finally says. “Hold me.”

I wrap my warm body around her. I feel her ass push back, against me. She holds my arms and I’m stuck with one fact. This is the greatest night of my life.