What has gotten into me? Why can’t I stop thinking about this woman? When she leaves my arms, I go ballistic. This time, it’s without physical violence or self-harm through booze and more women. This time, it’s a mental sickness. I swear, without her, I’m nothing.

This is fucked. But I can’t blame anyone this time. I’m all hers. Shit, I can’t even get to work anymore. I just have no energy to. Why should I care about Mrs. Landry’s broken faucet when I can focus on Helena, with triple the payoff? It’s just all so impermanent. Life is way too fucking quick. We all forget that sometimes, don’t we? How fast it all goes… Yet, it’s with that understanding that I’m forced to act. I’m forced to keep begging for her to stay in my arms, in my bed, around my solid cock.

I’ll keep begging if I have to. I don’t give a damn. I’ll fall to my fucking knees and be more of a man because of it. Halloway would laugh at me. He doesn’t understand the way I feel right now. But we all go through it in one way or another. We all find our person. Some just like to fuck it up. Some just like to watch it all burn away into oblivion.

“Stay,” I whisper the next morning. “Get breakfast with me. We can get coffee after and watch shitty movies.”

This time, my argument seems much stronger, yet she’s not giving in too easy. “You know I can’t, Addison,” she says, with big eyes. They move back and forth quickly as if she’s trying to read me, or plead for me to keep begging. “My class needs me. The kids need me.”

“I need you. My body needs you.” I say. “I yearn for you when you leave my arms. You know that? You know how shitty I feel when I’m all alone in this house, pacing around and doin’ God knows what?”

“Come on,” she laughs. “You don’t do that.” She says it as a matter of fact, but I know for certain that it’s really a solid question.

“Like hell I don’t,” I laugh. “Seriously, what else am I supposed to do?”

“You’re supposed to go to work!” she laughs, getting out of bed and grabbing her bra.

“Work? I can’t work anymore. All I do is think about you. Fuck work. Work is for the people out there. These feelings I have to keep at bay is the only work I can focus on right now,” I say.

“Well, that’ll pass. Someday you’ll get complacent. You’ll be like everyone else. And when that happens,” she says. “You’ll be faced with the consequences of not working. You’ll be broke and you won’t be able to buy me any cute things. And then I’ll have to leave you.”

She smiles so smug and so cute, that it makes my heart crack a little. “If that happens, I’ll do whatever it takes to get you that new dress, or necklace, or diamond-fucking-tiara. I’ll become a hitman if I have to. I’ll become a huge drug dealer kingpin,” I say. “Baby, I can never be complacent. So, you shouldn’t be either. Don’t go into work. Be here with me. Call out.”

My words today are good, that much I know. She closes her pretty little eyelids and heaves a slow and determined exhale. I watch and know that I’ve won the battle this time. She’s going to stay.

“Fine,” she says. “But only this one time. I can’t keep doing this.”

“You’re going to get that Kneeves guy to fuck Judy,” I laugh. “He’ll owe you the world. You’ve got so much leverage right now. This doesn’t matter to him. He knows he’ll do whatever it takes to get her. Hell, I know the feeling.”

“Ugh, you’re right,” she says. “It’s sad what you men will do for us, just to get inside us for a quick thirty minutes.”

“Don’t even try that shit,” I laugh. “You know I last an hour.”

“Sometimes even two,” she giggles. “No, really, I actually feel bad for the guy. He seems really lonely and lacks any confidence to do anything about it.”

“A very sad predicament,” I say. “Now call in.”

She calls in, faking the worst cough in the world, but it seems to work well enough. “Oh, don’t even bother!” I hear the words coming through the receiver. “I’ll mark it down and get a substitute. I hope you feel better.”

“Thank you, Fred. I’m really sorry,” she says.

“No worries, really,” he says, most likely smiling. “Oh! Um, did you talk to Judy yet?”

Of course, he has to ask about Judy. How could he not? “Not yet,” Helena responds. “But I promise I will. I’ll put in the best—” she coughs “—word for you.”

She hangs up the phone after he reluctantly okays her efforts and she heaves a heavy sigh of relief. “Ah,” she groans. “What’re you doing to me?”

“Everything. Literally everything.” I smile and kiss her stomach. Her naked body shines like a goddess trapped in some temple far east somewhere. The rays of sunlight that peek in through the windowpanes reflect sharp and hot. And I just want to make her pour.

I kiss lower and lower, around those hairs that act so forbidden. I kiss around her soft skin and she breathes erratically for just a split second, a short moment in time. She’s all mine and she knows it, but it’s a good thing because she knows that means she’s going to get everything that she’s ever wanted from me.

I kiss those folds, letting my saliva lightly drop onto the wet skin. I can practically see as she grows wetter for me, and I feel her with my fingers, splitting her open like a ripe fruit. “What are you doing?” she asks, without thinking. Yet, she slowly closes her lips and bites her tongue, and waits for me to continue, knowing exactly what I’m doing.

I don’t just do it for her. I do it for myself. I do it because I want to keep the taste of her in my mouth, so that I’m never without her. Does that make me crazy? Fuck no, it doesn’t. And if anyone was to come in my way of enjoying her like this for the rest of my existence, I’d go ballistic.

I fold my tongue over her lips and close my mouth around her skin — the dry parts and the wet parts, until she’s fully immersed in a sea of my sucking. And licking. And spitting. And everything else messy.

My tongue slides up and down, left and right. I push two fingers inside and when she keeps on moaning, I even insert a third one in. Finally, she agrees that she needs a fourth one, because after taking my cock for so many sleepless nights, she knows she needs more from me now, and I’m reeling from just how dirty we can get.

I place her legs around my shoulders and she squeezes her thighs against my neck. I hold on tight, curling my fingers up, pressing that spongy button of hers that causes her to twitch uncontrollably. I press and I push, and she falls back against those comfortable pillows, closing her eyes.

She fists my hair and squeezes hard. A current of energy shoots up my back. She pulls harder and begins to take control, letting me know exactly how she wants me. My tongue is like a bed of fucking roses that she can jump into after a hard day of work. She unwinds on me, gives me all her trouble, until she’s grinding her clit against that same bed of roses, defiling the whole damn place.

It’s the hottest thing I’ve ever seen.

She whips her hair back and practically rides my whole fucking face. She uses me as a platform for an explosion that’s about to take the whole world in. And when her pulse races, I can feel it on my mouth, can anyone believe that? We’re connected like this, completely knowing each other now. That by itself is a miracle. Before her, I didn’t give two shits about the girl I was banging. Now, she’s my entire world. Now, I’m willing to fight for her. I’m willing to lose it all in one moment.

“Yes!” she screams. “Oh God, yes!”

And I cup those ass cheeks of hers in my hand, fully, and keep that tongue sliding. Finally, she lets it all go. She loses herself, once more. Her whole body slumps against the bed, and the headboard, and the whole bed becomes soaking wet.

“That’s it, baby,” I whisper as she twitches. “Let it all out.”

And she does. For a full minute, she shows me just how much emotion is in that woman, deep down inside. “No,” she moans. “Yes.” A total contradiction. She can’t think straight and can only talk in these mysterious yes’s and no’s that make no difference to what is happening with my mouth.

I kiss her clit and look down. My cock is harder than solid steel. It doesn’t take long before her whole fucking mouth is around me, gagging down deep. She looks at me with those longing eyes, while I’m disappearing inside of her, and I just start cumming immediately.

“Fuck me,” I hiss. “Ah.”

The orgasm is far too good. It’s so fucking good that it hurts. I close my eyes, but before I do, I get a good look downward. My cock is pumping up and down from the might of my orgasm, shooting my cum against the back of her mouth. The image is too much to handle. Shit, I practically cum again before she releases, which is after much too long, when the head is way too sensitive.

This has been our life thus far and we fucking enjoy it. We wouldn’t want it any other way. “So…” I groan with satisfaction. “Want to get a pizza or something?”

She laughs and swallows down, wiping her lips slightly. She smacks my chest softly and smiles. “Yes,” she says. “Pepperoni, please.”

“I thought you liked the sausage,” I laugh, knowing it’s a dumb joke.

“Oh, God. Don’t start making jokes like that, please. It’s a total turn off,” she says.

I slap her ass and call to get the food. The rest of the night is spent watching the worst romantic comedies of all time, while holding her in my arms, and eating the best crap pizza we can find. I’m completely at peace with this woman, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.