I wait for her on my porch, heart beating and palms sweating. I’m pacing back and forth, and I want to chug a case full of beer just so I can calm my nerves down a little bit. The whole thing is just heart-wrenching. This love business is fucking hard. It’s harder than any fight, than taking any city, but it’s worth it when it all comes back together. Those moments are the times I live for. It feels like winning. It feels like truth.

When I see her car pull up, it all comes flooding back to me. That day that I met her, when she nearly broke my leg from her bike… I miss that, but I know that I’ll miss these times even more. It all comes around in a circle of memories. I can’t wait to keep building and turning it, until our kids grow old and find solace in someone else. It just keeps on spinning, doesn’t it?

“Helena,” I say, out of breath, even though I’m just standing there, watching her. “I’m so fucking happy you’re here.”

She stays silent, her eyes bulging with tears. I feel her light arms wrap around my neck and we both pull in close, shielding ourselves from the cold world and those cold emotions we’ve been storing. “I love you, Addison,” she finally whispers into the night. “I love you so much. I’m sorry that I threw you away that easily. I feel so guilty.”

I pull off her just so I can look into those beautiful eyes of hers and tell her my piece. “I’m sorry too. You didn’t do anything wrong. You were just angry with me for acting out so violently. It won’t happen again,” I say. “Anyway, I’ve got something that I want to show you.”

“What is it?” she asks. I want to kiss her so bad, but I’m sick to my stomach with excitement and fear.

I pull a picture out of my pocket and try my best to smooth it out. I show it to her under my porch light and her cold, white breath shines against the edges. “An office space? I’m confused. What is this?” she asks.

I laugh and tell her my crazy plan. “I want to be serious with you. I want to make this all real. I took out a loan,” I say. “I’m starting a real business and I want you to help me.”

“Are you serious?” she asks me, smiling. “Addison, are you crazy? How much money do you owe?”

“It doesn’t matter. None of that matters. I can pay it back someday,” I say. “Look, you can still teach if you want. But if you don’t want to, we can work together and thrive. We can save to buy a new place.”

She doesn’t know what to say. She’s worried that this is too rash of a move. Sometimes, though, you have to make some rash decisions. This is one of them.

I get down on one knee. I reach into my coat pocket and glance down at her boots. I grab the ring box and hold it in front of me. “Oh, Addison,” she whispers. The air is cold and the night is silent. There’s not a bird or cricket, or rustling critter, in sight or earshot.

“Be with me. Be my wife,” I say. “I’m not askin’. I’m practically begging.”

“I—” she stops.

“I’ll never meet a girl like you. Never. I don’t want to let this chance slip by. I swear, you coming to this small town was a sign. It was a sign that I had to get my shit together and that it was time to settle down. It’s time for a change,” I say. “I’m ready for the next big step. I’m ready to make that transformation.”

She gulps down and looks at me, shaking. She holds her palm to my cheek and kneels down on the cold wood porch. She kisses me soft and sweet, running her fingers up, through my hair. “You know the answer is yes, right?” she whispers. “It’s a big hell yes.”

I put that ring on her hand. That big, sparkling, diamond ring. She looks at it and smiles, her teeth white as snow. I kiss her hard. Fast. I kiss her and touch every part of her body. “God, I was hoping you’d say that,” I laugh.

She sucks on my bottom lip and breathes in hard through her nose. “We’re meant for each other. I feel like it’s destiny, or like fate. Maybe that sounds corny, but—”

“It doesn’t sound corny,” I say. “It’s the truth. No one has ever made me feel what you make me feel.”

“I can really quit my job?” she asks me. “You really want me to work with you? You’d be around me every day, Addison. You can handle that?”

“I just asked you to spend the rest of your life with me,” I laugh. “I know I can handle that.”

“You’re poor as hell, aren’t you?” she laughs with me. “You took out all your money for this, didn’t you?”

I shrug and pick her up into my arms, carrying her inside. “Yep. Sure did,” I say. “You think I care about money?”

“Oh jeez,” she squints her eyes. “Addison, you’re insane. But the crazier you are, the more I want you.”

“You know how to repay me,” I say. “You know what I need.” My smiles grows bigger, my cock does too.

I sit her down on the kitchen counter and start making out with her, harder than before. She’s breathing wildly. I put my hand against her tits and I can feel her strong and rapid heart beating for dear life. “Yes,” she whispers. “I know what you need and deserve.”

She unbuckles my belt and rips it through the loops. My pants come down around my ankles. I reach up through her skirt and feel her panties, now wet with desire for me. I pull them to the side, tearing the small ends, and I place two flat fingers against her wetness, spreading that same desire all over her hole.

I’m going to make this quick and hard. And then after that, I’m going to go again, and again, until we’re both on the verge of losing our lives from heart attacks. I grab hold of my cock and thrust it inside her. Her head falls back with pleasure and she moans, high-pitched and pretty. “Yes!” she screams. “Deeper!”

I grab her wrists and force her arms behind her back. I thrust forward again. I push my forehead against her forehead and we’re suddenly staring at each other’s eyes, longingly. I thrust faster now and spit down on her wet cunt. She’s smiling now, like a little deviant woman. My wife. She wants me to play dirty. She wants me to cum.

I push forward, shaking the whole fucking table. I let go of her wrists when I feel bonded to her. I close my eyes and feel my soul swell up inside of me, ready to spring forth, through me. I keep myself inside, holding my cock in, pushing until I’m as far as I can possibly go. My body grows alert and sensitive to all stimuli. I hear a slight moan and squeal from the back of her throat and I decide I can’t hold it in any longer.

It comes in waves of complete satisfaction and pleasure. I cum inside her. I let it all out. Her hands come forward, cupping my balls as they ascend. My front door swings open from a gust of cold wind and suddenly, we’re in the depths of winter, free and still. She smiles and arches her head forward, so cute and happy. Kissing my lips, she falls against me and I hold her, light and steady, bringing her to my bedroom.

We collapse onto the bed and she runs her hand across my chest. “Let’s be lovers forever,” she says.

“Forever and ever.” I smile. “Until I’m old and walking with a cane.”

“I really can’t wait to see that,” she laughs. “I can’t even imagine it.” She looks me up and down, playing with the tight skin rippling around my stomach.

Really, there’s so much we can do and achieve when we are together. I know that this will be everything, even if we’re stuck in this small town. “By the way,” I laugh a little. “Halloway is going to work for the company too.”

She pushes her hand down, shoving me back. “Halloway?” she repeats.

“Yeah, and, uh, he’s going to be my best man.” I chuckle some more to lighten up the mood.

“Well, I was thinking Judy might be my bridesmaid,” she bites her lip.

“He’ll be on his best behavior,” I tell her. “I promise.”

“You know what? I don’t care what happens as long as I’m with you,” she says. “As long as we’re together.”

* * *

I hold her in my arms tonight, but I don’t go to sleep. I don’t have that tired feeling in my soul right now, at least not yet. I keep glancing at the window as some small flakes begin to fall. I’m just so… I think astonished is the right world. Grateful too. I can’t believe all the roads that I took in my insane life have led me to her. I can’t believe that, even with all the war trauma and hard nights being alone in a small town, I still found the brightest light in all the world. I found her and she’s with me now, forever.

She’s asleep with that ring on her finger. And that means, I have to hold myself accountable and give her everything that I can to lift her up, even when I’m feeling down. I cup her ass in my hands, and yes – everything is all good. Hoorah.

Epilogue: Helena

Much, much, later…

“Toby! Get your butt down here and get to the bus! You’re going to be late!” I scream, knowing my sweet son is taking his damn time, watching videos on YouTube like he always does. When he doesn’t answer, I lose it. “Ugh, I’m going to kill him, I swear. “

Of course, Addison is just like Toby, only much older. He’s sipping on his coffee, with a shit-eating grin attached to his face, thinking all of this is hilarious. I give him an angry glance and he sets his mug on the table, nodding. “Okay, okay,” he says, gulping down. “Toby, listen to your mother!” he calls out. “She doesn’t work so hard so you can lounge around.”

“Fiiiine,” Toby murmurs. He opens the door and smiles at both of us.

“We should have never gotten him that phone,” I shake my head.

“They all have them now,” Addison says. “His teacher says it was either that or the tablet.”

“Well, it’s stupid,” I say, knowing the world has changed into something completely different. All of that stuff was just coming out when I taught at Canton Junior High. Now they require them to have it with them instead of books? It doesn’t make sense to me.

“Sorry Ma,” Toby reluctantly says as he scoots by me.

“Good boy.” Addison smiles. “So respectful to the beautiful women in his life.”

“Tryin’ for bonus points, I see,” I laugh. “Hey, don’t forget your cap.”

I grab his hat and put it on him, a bit too tight around his forehead. He groans and readjusts it. He looks so handsome, every single morning and I die a little every time I notice him grow up. Today is one of those times and even though I’m choking up, I feel so happy he’s with us in this family now.

“Love you, mom,” he says. “See you after practice.”

“Hit a homerun!” Addison calls out. Toby smiles and makes a batting stance, swinging an imaginary bat. He makes a crashing noise and runs out the door.

“The crowd goes wild!” Addison yells. Toby screams and meets up with some neighborhood friends, down the way.

“Hey, Mrs. Williams!” One of them smiles.

“Mrs. Williams, wassup!” Another one winks.

I wave and shut the door, shaking my head. “They love you,” Addison laughs. “You’re the hot mom on this block.”

“Oh God, please don’t say that,” I close my eyes tight. “That’s creepy as hell.”

“At least you don’t bake them cookies like some of these moms do,” he says.

“Some of the moms bake them cookies?!” I exclaim.

“No, but I’m kind of getting turned on imagining you in an apron, all covered in dough.” He gives me a sly look and stares at my tits.

“Yeah, is that what you want?” I ask him, sitting on his lap, my ass against his pelvis. Even after all these years, his cock works better than anybody else’s. I unbutton my shirt a little, until my cleavage spills out for him.

“Jesus, woman. How?” He kisses the curves of my neck and feels around my waist.

“How what?” I ask him.

“How are you even real?” He licks his lips. I move off of him and bend over, next to the fireplace.

“You’re killing me,” he mutters.

“You really like my body still?” I ask him, jutting my butt into the air. I crawl forward a little, smiling. “Even after everything we’ve been through?

I can’t say marriage is the easiest thing in the world. If I thought dating was difficult, I was an idiot. Getting married, spending your money on a new business, and having a kid is about the toughest thing anyone can do, but we’re still here. We’re still fighting. We’re still madly in love. And, yes, we still have sex five times a week.

We’re insane, but this is the life we’ve chosen. All in all, it’s not as hard as it could have been.

He strips down until he’s fully naked. His cock is unimaginable. He’s a man now. He’s more of a man than he’s ever been before. He steps forward and eyes me. He puts his hand down and squeezes his fingers against my clit and lips. He knows my body unlike anybody else. He knows it inside and out.

“Do I like your body?” He mulls the thought over. His cock just grows and grows. “I live for this body, woman.” He runs his hands up to my hips and squeezes, not gently, but hard. “It’s been a day since we’ve fucked. I need you right fucking now.”

“Thought so.” I smile, feeling myself getting wetter by the second.

The phone rings right as he’s about to penetrate me, right as we’re both about to feel that warm goodness. “Fuuuck,” he groans.

“Just put it in me,” I plead. “Come on.”

“I’ve gotta answer this. We’re behind on some payments,” he says. See. Marriage is a bitch sometimes.

“Just do it.” I widen my eyes. He grabs the phone and answers it.

“Yeah?” he says. “Ah, Halloway. What’s up?”

I don’t care that he’s talking on the phone. I grab his cock and guide it to my center. I close my eyes and feel him push inside me. We both groan loudly. “Yes!” I scream.

“Are you guys really having sex right now?” I hear Halloway say on the other side of the line.

Addison coughs and makes a weird noise. “Uhhhh,” he says. “Yeah, Halloway, I’m going to need to call you back. Sorry, brother.” He hangs up the phone and we both laugh for a second.

“Sorry. That was fucked up of me,” he says.

“I don’t care. Just fuck my brains out,” I whisper.

He does, and it keeps me going, going, going, until I’m gone, out of this world.