What the fuck? I read the words on the screen and nearly chuck he phone against the wall. “Fuck!” I scream and fall against my leather chair. Neil, the chief, pops his head in when he hears the commotion.

“Everything alright, man?” he asks me.

“Fine. Dandy,” I mutter, biting my tongue.

He walks inside the room and leans against my bookshelf. I look at him, annoyed that he won’t leave and let me have my anger to myself. “Sure looks like you’re pissed off,” he says. “What’s going on with you? The whole family thing?”

“Nah, man,” I reply. I don’t elaborate further.

“Come on. I’m your boss. You have to talk to me, you know,” he says.

“No I don’t,” I laugh. “You’re not going to fire your best surgeon. Don’t give me that line of bullshit, Neil.”

“Fine, but I’m your friend, man. It’s good to vent every now and then. Tell me what’s up and maybe I can give you some old, sage advice,” he says.

I keep my eyes steady, but I feel myself start to cave. “It’s just some woman,” I say. “She’s messing with my head.”

“Hell yes,” he says, rubbing his hands together. “That’s what I’m talking about, man. So you’re getting back in the game, huh?”

“Nah. Don’t get too excited,” I mutter.

“Come on. I’m just happy for you. You used to spend all your free time in this office,” he says.

“Our patients’ lives are more important than anything outside of these walls,” I remind him.

“Don’t get me wrong, now. I want our patients to have the best care possible. But it’s a fact that a man needs a break every now and then,” he says. “Shit. A man needs a woman. It’s a fact. It’s been that way since the dawn of time.”

“Yeah, well. Women don’t need men. We’ve just tricked them into thinking they do.” I’m obviously feeling a little cynical. I’m supposed to be the best damn surgeon in this town. I have to admit it. My ego is a bit fucking bruised.

“Who is this game playing woman? She’s got your head spinning. Man, I love that feeling,” he says.

“Yeah, you like it because you’re a deranged masochist,” I tell him.

“No way,” he laughs. “Alright, maybe a little.”

“Shit,” I sigh.

“It’s the chase that always gets you. I love it. It’s like pain and pleasure. You never know what you’re going to get. Each new step is a chance to ruin the whole damn thing, or make it perfect,” he says. “How can you not miss that feeling?”

“It’s not like that with this girl. It’s different. She is different,” I say. I reach into my drawer and pull out a bottle of scotch. I grab two cups and pour. Neil grabs the glass and takes a sip. I do the same.

“How so?” he asks.

“She’s a virgin,” I whisper.

His eyes widen and a short smile forms on his face. “No fucking way,” he says. “Seriously?”

I nod my head slowly. “Seriously. And she’s hot as hell. She’s fucking smokin’,” I say.

“You’re out of your mind,” he laughs. “You can’t get with a virgin. How old is she?”

I lean back in my chair and feel the slow burn of the scotch hit my esophagus. I laugh when I think about the situation that I’m in. I shouldn’t be worrying about this woman. I should be worrying about the lives of my patients. I can find someone my age eventually. Problem is, I can’t wait too long to find one. My father is right. There’s something about family. I’m thirty-five. She’s twenty-three. She’s at that perfect age to start a family with someone.

“She’s twenty-three,” I tell him.

“You’re insane,” he says, jumping back. “Twenty-three?! She’s young.”

I don’t have any qualms with it. “She’s an adult and she makes her own choices,” I say.

“Yeah, but she’s a virgin? Shit, man. It just sounds like a recipe for disaster. Then again, your whole life is pretty much that, so maybe she’s perfect for you,” he laughs.

“Well,” I groan, “she’s not a virgin anymore. We sort of got past that hurtle.”

Neil starts laughing loudly and I motion for him to settle down a bit. “Sorry, it’s just a weird situation. You’re a grown man and you’re worrying about this… girl.”

“You don’t understand. She’s not just some girl. She’s actually pretty damn interesting,” I say. But I don’t know. Am I being stupid about this whole thing?

“And really hot. I got it,” he says.

“Yes, like really fucking hot,” I laugh. I think about her body. It’s perfect. It’s jaw dropping. “And her eyes… god damn, her eyes. When you look into them, you can’t look away.”

“Well, it sounds like you dove headfirst into this whole thing,” he says.

I nod and sit up, against the desk. I roll my palms over my face and breathe against my skin. “She doesn’t want to see me again.” I say the words out loud, but doing so only makes me realize how dumb this all is. I don’t need her. I don’t need anyone. I just need myself.

“She’s probably in love with you. You took her virginity, you sick man,” he says. “What you should do is stay away. Stay very far away from all of this. It’s likely to all blow up in your face.”

“Yeah.” I glance at the half-empty glass in my hand and down the rest of the scotch. “Well, you’re right. I think I’m just going to let it go. I don’t need to press any further.”

“Exactly,” he says. He finishes his glass as well, sighs loudly, and taps his fingers against the bookshelf, alerting me that he’s about to leave. “Well, I got work to do. You’re done for the day, right?”

“Right,” I say. “I’m just going to check in on Mom before I head out.”

“Alright. Stay up, man,” he says. I nod at him as he leaves the room.

I put away the scotch and heave my heavy body out of the leather chair. I turn off the lights in the room and exit, feeling my boots drag against the shiny hospital floor. I walk toward mom’s room. It’s the daily ritual I have to take.

Every single time I walk these lonely halls, I wonder to myself, “Will this be it? Will I even get a last word from her?” I know it’s selfish of me to even ask that, but it’s something I would do anything for.

When I walk into the room, I see my father standing solemnly in the corner. He’s talking to her, but of course she’s not moving, except for her eyelids. He looks over at me, but continues talking. I wait for him to finish by the door.

“Son.” He puts his arms out for me. I hug him and pat him on the back.

“Hey dad,” I say. “How is she?”

“The same,” he says. “You know she’s not getting any better. We can stop with the formalities.”

“You never know,” I reply. But I know all too well what will happen.

“I ran into Neil outside the room,” he says. “He says you’re seeing someone. Is this true?”

“Dad, is this really the time to talk about this?” I ask him. I look at my mother, lying on the bed, with tubes running all around her.

“It’s the perfect time to talk about this. You need a wife,” he tells me.

I look around the room, as if someone might be nearby, listening to this lunacy coming from my father. “I don’t need a wife, dad. Besides, she doesn’t want to see me again. Women these days don’t necessarily want to settle down right away. It’s not the 1950’s.”

“No it isn’t. That’s for damn sure.” His voice growls when he says it. “But if you want the house, you’ll do me this one favor.”

“I wish you could see how messed up this is,” I laugh. “You’re bribing your own son.”

“It’s not a bribe. It’s an offer and it makes sense. All I’m asking you to do is see this through. She’s probably a nice girl,” he says. I open my mouth to tell him, once again, that it’s just not going to work out, but he shuts me up before I can even speak. “I know, I know. She doesn’t want to see you again. That’s a bunch of baloney and you know it. She’s scared. You’re powerful, successful, and you have a good head on your shoulders. She’s afraid you might leave her in the dust if she gets too involved.”

“Still. Maybe it’s just too much to deal with right now. I’d rather just keep to myself,” I tell him.

“Wednesday we’re having family dinner. Me, you, your sis. You’re inviting this girl over and we’re going to have a nice time,” he says. It’s not a question. It’s a command.

“I’ll ask,” I groan. “But I’m not making any promises. She’s got finals.”

“A college girl?” he asks, raising an eye.

I ignore his question and walk out of the room. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” I tell him.