Late at night, in this motel room, I’m thinking of the dirtiest things. Flesh on flesh, collars around the neck, hands grabbing thick waists, his lips kissing down my body… I’m the hottest I’ve ever been, now that I’m away from the terrible reality that was my life.

Walker’s voice on my voicemail keeps playing in my head. I wish I had the nerve to call him, but I don’t. When I think about doing it, I feel too embarrassed. I think of myself falling yesterday. I think of Darrin smiling as I pulled out of the driveway. I’m such a wreck. There’s no way Walker will ever want me and, frankly, I’m not sure if I even want him. Well, I want him, but for how long? How far could we even go with that?

“He’s a rebound,” I hear Renata’s voice in my head. “A booty call.” The whole thing kind of grosses me out. I mean, what is the boyfriend experience anyway? Is he an escort? Does he get paid to fuck these women?

Finally, when the clock hits ten at night, I’ve got the television going. Some bad 80s action flick is playing, while I surf on my laptop. I hear my phone vibrate again and my heart skips a beat. Do I answer it? I just stare as the phone lights up with his number.

I grab it and hold it in my hand. I try to calm down and then I answer it. “Finally,” he says. “You answered my call.”

“Are you an escort? Because if you are, I can’t see you,” I say.

He laughs. “Right off the bat? Is that how you start a conversation?” he asks.

“Sorry,” I sigh. “It’s been a rough few days for me and I’m not really used to talking to someone like you.”

“I’m not an escort,” he says. “How do I explain this? I offer women an experience. Sex is not included. I take women out. I’m a person who listens to their feelings, someone who tells them stories and jokes. Sometimes they want me to comfort them. It’s quite an easy job, actually.”

I think it over for a second. The whole thing is just so alien to me. “Listen,” he says. “If you’re going to judge me for what I do, I can hang up right now. I’ve got all the money I need. I could be out right now, making even more money. I don’t need to deal with an uptight woman like you.”

“I am not uptight,” I say. “In fact, I still want to do that trade we discussed.” The words just come out.

Still, the arrogant bastard just laughs at me! “No can do. Sorry,” he says. “That chance has flown away.”

“Flown away? What the hell is that supposed to mean?” I ask him. “You owe me for my bumper.” He’s making me feel so shitty about myself. I keep going back to how I left my house. The tripping, oh fuck me. And now this? This is chalking up to being the worst few days of my life.

“You’re not getting the experience,” he says. “That’s for old bags with no hope left. As for the bumper, I’ll pay you for that. Don’t worry. I just want one date. That’s it.”

“One real date?” I ask him.

“That’s all I’m asking for. The experience thing… it’s not real. It’s an act I do,” he says.

“I see,” I mutter, feeling a little strange. The sound of his voice is enough to keep me on the phone. It’s handsome. It’s powerful. It says, “I’ve got a big cock and I know how to use it.”

“When I crashed into you the other day, I knew I had to ask you out. Then, when I saw you at the party, walking into the women’s bathroom,” he pauses for a second, before continuing, “you don’t even want to know what I was thinking.”

“I do,” I find myself saying. “I do want to know.”

“It’s bad,” he says. “I don’t even know your name.”

“Erica,” I whisper. I cough a little, clearing my throat. “It’s Erica.”

“Erica,” his voice is smooth and dark when he says my name. “I wanted to lock that door and take you right then and there. I wanted to throw you in that stall, to push your ass over that toilet seat, and fuck the life out of you then and there. I wanted to leave you twitching.”

I feel it in between my legs. I’m wet. I start to touch myself, trying not to moan into the phone. “Yeah?” I whisper. My voice is shaky and weak. My throat is dry. “What else did you want to do?” I barely get the words out.

“I wanted to spank you for being a naughty little bitch,” he says. My eyes widen as my pussy grows even wetter. Fuck, how does he know exactly what I want to hear? “I wanted to use my belt as a collar, so I could teach you how to behave like a good girl. I wanted to cum inside you, Erica.”

That last part gets me. “But I’m not on birth control,” I say.

“You think I give a damn?” he asks. “You’ve been driving me crazy for almost a bloody week now.”

Oh. My. God. “You really want to treat me like dirt, don’t you?” I ask him.

“I want you to be good for me. Once you prove to me you can be good, I’ll make you cum harder than you’ve ever cum before.”

“I’ve been dreaming about you too,” I say. “I’ve been dreaming of you sneaking into my bedroom while I’m asleep. I imagine you just watching me as I dream, peacefully.”

“Fuck, you’re making me so hard,” he says.

“I dream of you hovering over my bed. You’re wearing all black. When I open my eyes, you put your hand over my mouth. ‘Don’t scream,’ you whisper. ‘Don’t make a fucking sound.’ I dream of you scrambling to pull my panties down. You rip them off me as I struggle. You pull my hair when I bite your palm.”

“Fuck,” he says to himself. “I’m stroking it right now. You want me to take you. Don’t you? Admit it.”

“I do,” I moan. “After I struggle for a bit, you always shove it inside me. You force my lips open and grab my tits. You use me to your liking. You hold my neck, so I know you’re in control. When I think about it, I always cum instantly. I’m scared, but it’s what I’ve always fantasized about.”

“And your husband knows this?” he asks me.

“We’re not together anymore,” I whisper. “I moved out yesterday.”

“Where are you?” he asks. His breathing is heavy.

“I’m at a motel. I’m by myself,” I say.

“I’m coming over,” he says.

“You don’t know where I am.” I think about him coming over. Part of me really wants it to happen. It’s a tempting fantasy to dive into. However, the other part of me is absolutely terrified. I haven’t been with another man in over six years. Possibly longer, even. “I don’t know if it’s a good idea if I tell you.”

“Trust me,” he says. “It’s the only option you have right now.”

“Fuck,” I whisper. I think of how he’ll fuck. I turn red with desire. There’s no guilt inside of me left. I imagine his hips thrusting upward, into me. I’m so wet. It’s absolutely insane.

“Okay,” I give in. I give him the address and the phone clicks down. There’s no response at all from him, just silence. He’s gone. He hung up the phone.