By the time I returned to the estate, the ghost’s tent had been completely emptied and loaded into the car, but the tent remained.
Ghost was rolled in the sleeping bags, also in the back of the SUV.
Which was hidden behind Soldier’s Row.
I didn’t bother sticking to the shadows from the trees lining the property. I ran in the open with one goal in mind.
Jessica. The guesthouse.
I slipped into the bathroom without making a sound, but staggered back as soon as I made it into the room.
That same crashing feeling from earlier returned, worse than before, and suddenly I couldn’t breathe.
There was no monster, but there was every bit of darkness.
And I didn’t know how to push through it. I was struggling to find the strength to move.
It didn’t matter what Beck had said.
He would’ve said anything to keep me calm until he could force me to stay calm. He’d done it before with Lily.
She’s here. She needs you.
He never told me she was alive.
And there was a sheet pulled over a body on Jessica’s bed. On my bed.
My back hit the doorframe leading to the bathroom. It was all I could do to keep standing when my world was being ripped out from under me.
After everything I’d lost—after everyone I’d failed—I couldn’t lose her too.
Not her.
I finally managed a step away from the wall, my hands fisted in my hair as I took painful steps toward the bed. When my legs were pressed against the mattress, I dropped my head, my chest cracking open as I tried to force myself to pull the material away.
Wet drops fell to the sheet, one after another.
I didn’t know what they were or where they were coming from until a strangled sob climbed up my throat.
I flinched, my body instantly locking up when someone touched my arm. But my movements were too slow to defend myself.
Mickey could’ve walked up to kill me, and I wouldn’t have been able to stop him.
At that moment, I wouldn’t have cared.
I twisted my body to look, my eyes slow to drag away from the girl on the bed, and stilled.
Because Jessica was standing in front of me, looking like her world had shattered.
My hands fell from my head, my gaze snapping back to the body on the bed before I focused on the girl in front of me again.
When a sob burst from her chest, I knew.
“Shit,” I whispered as she fell into my arms. “I’m . . . Jessica, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
“Find him,” she cried against my chest. “Find him, Kieran. Don’t stop until he’s dead.”
With another look at the covered body, I pulled Jessica from the room and down the familiar hallway to the living room where Beck waited, pacing.
“What the hell happened?” I demanded.
Beck’s eyes had been locked on Jessica, his own pain mixing with hers. “She woke up and found her there beside her. Mickey and zombie man were still here, waiting for her to wake up. They dragged Jess from the bed.” Beck worked his jaw then nodded at Jessica. “Mickey said it was because she ran.”
My arms tightened around the shivering girl in my arms. My head dropped so I could press my mouth to her head. “I’m so damn sorry.”
“I promised her I would always take care of her,” she cried softly. “I promised.”
I looked at Beck, his expression when his stare met mine telling me everything.
That we knew everything Jessica was feeling.
We’d been through it.
No one knew the overwhelming failure better than Beck and me. But Jessica couldn’t have protected her mom from this no matter what she’d done.
Her mom had been determined to destroy herself. She’d had a lifetime of demons she was running from. Jessica had only prolonged the inevitable because she loved her and felt responsible for her. And then she’d met the devil incarnate.
“We need to get you out of here,” I whispered, then shifted her so she was curled under my arm.
“Did it work?” she asked before I could lead her away. When I looked at her, her head drifted in the direction of her room. “The running, my mom . . . was it all worth it? Did you find him?”
I glanced at Beck again. I wouldn’t have expected him to keep it all from her if he’d already known what I hadn’t—that her mom had been found and was no longer breathing.
He shrugged and mouthed, “She was sleeping.”
Jealousy sliced through me, knowing he was with her while she slept, but was quickly replaced with gratitude.
Because once again, I hadn’t been here.
And Beck had.
I dipped my head in a silent thank you then looked at Jessica. “Nothing’s worth that pain. But we found him. He’s gone.”
At her stuttered exhale, I turned to lead her away, but she held her ground. “The plan was to take Mickey out here. He’ll come back. And I’m not leaving my mom in that room.”
“And if he finds out Kieran took out the ghost first?” Beck asked. “He might run and we’ll lose our chance . . . again.”
“Or he’ll come at us with everything he has left,” I mumbled, holding Jessica slightly in front of me so I could study her dazed expression.
Mickey needed to die. For so many reasons.
Finn had been right in the minutes before I killed him . . . Mickey was finished. Only Mickey refused to accept it. He would take out the entire world if it meant there was no one left to threaten his position as Holloway’s Boss.
Nothing made that clearer than when he had Tommy killed.
He’d been Mickey’s best friend and advisor since my dad died. He’d been loyal to a fault—Mickey’s advisors always were.
The only people he kept closer were his underbosses: Aric and me. The ones who’d built an entire rebellion within Holloway against Mickey while he’d been preparing us to take over.
Maybe Mickey had somehow always known there was a possibility of what we’d become. Maybe he’d seen too much of himself in Aric and me. Maybe that’s why he’d kept us close, wanting that defiant spirit to continue leading Holloway after he was dead.
It was true: keep your enemies closer.
But I’d never wanted his position.
I wanted to be done with the mob I’d been born into. With all of it.
I couldn’t do that if Mickey still walked this earth.
He was sick and demented. He could manipulate anyone to do his will. And he had his hand in everything, including the government.
It was why Aric and I had first set out to destroy Holloway and Mickey’s empire. It was why I’d enlisted Dare to help. It was why we, along with Beck, had agreed Mickey needed to go down with both.
“I know how to make sure he comes here,” Jessica whispered.
I focused on her wrecked face, my jaw tightening at the possibilities of what she’d say next.
Her vacant eyes slid to mine. “We need Conor.”