Kieran lifted his hand, but paused, a breath of a laugh leaving him.
I squeezed his other hand tighter and stepped closer to him. “What is it?”
“I’ve never knocked.”
I wasn’t sure if it was the weight of what we were about to go into, or the stress of the last few days—the last weeks—but a laugh bubbled up my throat.
Because I wasn’t sure if I’d ever knocked either.
He looked back at me, a strained smile on his face. With a brush of his lips across my forehead, he faced forward and knocked on the door.
Kieran tensed seconds before I ever heard anyone on the other side, and then the door was swinging open to a livid expression.
“The fuck you doing here?”
From the way Kieran’s chest was pitching, I had a feeling he was forcing himself to stay in control.
Funny, I couldn’t remember the last time I’d felt him shake.
“Is Lily here?”
Dare stepped closer toward us, blocking entrance into his house, his dark eyes narrowing. “I asked what the fuck you’re doing here.”
Kieran was silent for a long time, and for a second, I thought he was going to give up on what he’d already almost talked himself out of so many times.
“This is important, I need to talk to her. And you.”
“It’s all over the news about Holloway. There’s nothing to talk about.” Dare stepped back and reached for the door, but Kieran dropped my hand and lunged forward, stopping him from shutting it.
“You screwed me at the eleventh hour,” he seethed. “Now you’re going to let me in here so you can know what that betrayal cost me. Or I’ll wait until Lily’s at Brooks, and I’ll tell her there.”
Dare ground his jaw, his eyes darting from Kieran to me before he took a step back and held the door open.
Kieran glanced over his shoulder and reached for me, waiting until my hand was secured in his before he stole into the house.
We hadn’t made it more than a handful of feet before we came to an abrupt stop.
When I looked ahead, there she was.
The girl I’d seen more times than I could count, but didn’t know.
The girl who was supposed to be standing where I stood but didn’t belong there.
And she was staring at me with open fascination and shock, as though she never thought she’d see someone at Kieran’s side. And was maybe a little relieved she was.
I gripped Kieran’s hand tighter and looked up at him. His eyes were locked on Lily’s rounding belly.
“You can stop looking,” Dare growled as he passed us.
Kieran blinked quickly, his stare going to Dare and then me. He cleared his throat and said, “This is Jessica.”
“And she is?” Dare asked slowly.
“Mine,” Kieran said in a low, lethal tone.
Dare huffed in amusement. Lily blinked slowly, as if she couldn’t believe what she was seeing and hearing.
“You should sit,” Kieran said.
“We’re fine,” Dare replied and rubbed a hand along Lily’s back.
“You should fucking sit.”
Being in the room with them, it was hard to imagine they’d ever worked together.
Then again, the girl standing across from me could change a lot.
Lily looked at Dare and whispered something, and he reluctantly led her away.
We followed them into a living room, but Kieran stopped in the center of it, away from any chairs or couches.
When Dare gave him a frustrated look, Kieran said, “I don’t want to be here longer than we have to.”
Dare relaxed into the couch and Lily immediately fell into his side, her eyes now locked on where my fingers were laced with Kieran’s. “Like I said, we’ve seen all over the news about Holloway and Mickey’s business. So, you either sent in your shit to take him down, or you finished him first.”
“The latter,” Kieran replied.
Lily’s head snapped up at that. The relief that burst from her was so great, I wanted to revel in it for a moment before Kieran destroyed it.
“Really?” she asked. “He’s really gone?”
Kieran dipped his head in confirmation. “Conor,” he said quickly when Lily started to thank him. “It was Conor.”
She looked surprised, but no less relieved as she rubbed a hand over her belly.
“Lily . . .”
Her ice-blue eyes lifted to Kieran, her face falling at his tone. “What?”
“Beck . . . Beck’s gone.”
Dare cursed and dragged a hand over his face, then hurried to grab Lily when her arms shot out, like she was going to faint.
A strangled sob ripped from Lily, heavy tears immediately falling down her cheeks.
We said nothing. We didn’t cry.
I didn’t think I could after how many tears I’d shed in the last few days.
We stood there for a few minutes, waiting in silence as Lily tried to accept this reality.
“We buried him next to Aric,” Kieran finally said. “It was just us and Conor. There wasn’t a ceremony with everything that’s going on with Holloway.”
Dare nodded in understanding when Lily didn’t respond.
When we turned to go, Lily spoke in a numb voice. “We just found out a couple days ago we’re having a boy. I was trying to figure out how to tell him the next time he came to see me because he’s always so mad about what happened.”
“He loved you, Lily,” Kieran said.
“Think Beck sounds like a good name,” Dare said softly, then looked to Kieran for his reaction.
“Beckham.” Kieran cleared his throat. “His real name was Beckham.”
Dare nodded. “Beckham Borello.”
When Lily’s shoulders hunched and another sob fell from her lips, Kieran tucked me close to his side. “Lily meant the world to him. He would’ve liked that.”
Without another word, Kieran led me from the house.
I laid my head heavily on his chest as we walked to the car and let him pull me into his arms when we reached the sidewalk.
“Do you want to go tell your brother about your mom?”
My head rolled slowly along his chest. “Not today. I’m not ready. She wasn’t a mom to him anyway.”
Pressing his mouth to my head, he whispered, “I’m here when you are.”
“Promise?”
He leaned back and waited for me to look up at him. “Always, Chaos.”