“I thought you were coming home two weeks ago,” Aunt Carol says as I stretch out on the couch, phone to my ear.
We’ve been in Italy a total of six weeks now. I was packed, dreading the trip home, and feeling quite emotional that our time here was coming to an end when Kane walked in and announced he got extended.
At first I wasn’t sure what that meant for me but directly after telling me his contract was given another four weeks, the next thing he did was ask me to stay. Of course I said yes and then we ended up making love on the tiny kitchen floor.
I think it’s safe to say we’ve made good use of the small space. Honestly, I think I’m gonna miss our tiny little apartment when we leave. It’s been like a dream being here with Kane. And even though I know we still have two more weeks, I’m not ready for it to be over.
“We were supposed to but Kane got a four week extension,” I answer, refocusing on the current conversation.
“And you decided to stay?” she questions.
“I did.”
“And?”
“And what?” I question.
“Elara Rose, don’t you play games with me. Tell me everything. I haven’t spoken to you in weeks.”
“I talked to you last week,” I remind her.
“Yes but he was there and you couldn’t speak freely. Is he there now?”
“No, he won’t be home for at least an hour or two.”
“Perfect. Now spill.”
“There’s not a whole lot to tell,” I start, not knowing why I bother. Aunt Carol knows me well enough to sense the ridiculous smile I’m wearing as I say it.
“Uh huh.” She waits before adding, “Now tell me the truth.”
I spend the next twenty minutes pretty much telling her every single detail of the last six weeks. Six of the best weeks of my entire life. I don’t leave anything out. When I say I tell her everything I mean everything. Right down to the incredible sex that happens daily, if not multiple times a day.
Half way through my rambling, I close my eyes and imagine it’s my mom I’m talking to. I wonder how she’d respond. What she would say over how insanely happy Kane makes me. Would she approve? Would she think it’s too much too fast? Or would she respond the same as her sister? Supportive and happy for me.
I’m certain it would be the latter…or at least that’s what I choose to believe.
“It sounds like a dream.” Carol cuts into my thoughts and I realize tears have formed behind my eyes.
“It is.” I sit up, shaking off the heavy feeling suddenly sitting on my shoulders. “He is a dream, Carol. I can’t even begin to explain it.”
“I’m so happy for you, El. You deserve to be happy. My sweet girl. You’ve lost so much. I know I don’t need to remind you of this. But there is one thing I have to ask.”
“Then ask,” I prompt.
She pauses for several long beats, before continuing, “Please don’t take this the wrong way, but do you think your feelings for Kane have anything to do with the fact that he’s Kam’s brother?”
And there it is, the one question I asked myself the first two weeks we were here – convincing my attraction to him had everything to do with Kam only to learn it had absolutely nothing to do with him and everything to do with Kane.
“I came on this trip because he was Kam’s brother. Because I felt like if anyone could understand my pain it was him. Because he made me feel closer to Kam. But Carol, this isn’t about Kam anymore. This is about me and Kane and what he makes me feel. I can’t explain it. I can’t even try to put into words the emotions that overtake me every time he walks in the front door and hits me with that lopsided grin of his. I swear I feel like my heart nearly beats out of my chest when he looks at me a certain way. No one has ever made me feel that way. Not even Kam.”
“I just had to ask,” she offers softly. “But it sounds like you know what you’re doing.”
“Well I don’t know if I’d go that far.” I laugh. “But when it comes to Kane I’ve never been more certain of anything.”
“I just worry about you is all.”
“You don’t need to. I’m happy. God, I’m insanely happy. And while yes, some of that happiness is overshadowed by everything that’s happened in the last few months, it’s still there. I didn’t think I could feel this way again. I just wish I could shake the guilt I feel knowing that I do,” I admit.
“You have nothing to feel guilty for, Elara. Kam died. You didn’t. You can’t live your life carrying the weight of his death. There’s no doubt in my mind that Kamden loved you more than anything else. He worshipped you, Elara. The last thing he would want is for you to feel guilty for letting yourself be happy. I’m sure that’s true for Kane as well. He loved you both. And you know as well as I do that Kam always put the people he loved first.”
“I know,” I agree softly.
“Then focus on that. Let yourself live, honey. Let yourself love. Freely. Wholly. With everything that you have.”
“I’m working on it.” I sigh, knowing I’ve come a long way since three weeks ago when I told Kane I was falling in love with him. And while we haven’t talked about it again, we both know it’s there. He doesn’t have to say he loves me for me to know he does. I can feel it.
“So you’re coming home when?” Carol abruptly switches gears, something she does often, especially over the phone.
It’s a wonder we’ve been on the topic of Kane as long as we have. Carol has a way of bouncing from one subject to another and sometimes does it so frequently it takes me a minute to realize we’re talking about something different.
“It’s supposed to be two weeks from tomorrow.”
“Supposed to be? As in, if Kane gets extended you’re going to stay?”
“Depends on how long the extension is. Though I don’t expect that to happen. Kane says there’s not much left for him to do and he can’t see them keeping him around longer than they need to considering they’re paying an arm and a leg to have him here.”
“So two weeks then.”
“Two weeks,” I confirm.
“And how do you feel about that?”
“Good and bad,” I admit. “I’m ready to be home–to see you and dad–to reestablish some sense of normalcy in my life. But I hate the thought of leaving here. I’m afraid that once we leave the bubble we’ve been living in these past few weeks things will change.”
“That’s an understandable concern. Something you’ll just have to work through when the time comes. Real life has a way of making a muck of things. It’s up to you not to let it.”
“Sound advice from the woman who’s let life muck up every relationship she’s ever been in,” I point out, knowing she can hear the humor in my voice.
“Just thank god you are not like your Aunt.” She says it like she’s praising the heavens and I instantly envision her standing in her kitchen, free arm raised to the ceiling as she says it.
“I don’t know, I think being like you would be a pretty great thing.”
“You’re too sweet, but totally misguided.” She laughs.
At that very moment, Kane walks into the front door, his eyes finding mine in an instant. My heart flips in my chest at the sight of him. Dark suit, hair combed back, tie loose around his neck. Dear lord this man…
“El, you there?” I hear Carol’s voice in my ear and quickly snap out of my fog.
“Yeah, sorry. Kane just got home,” I say, looking at the clock to see he’s home earlier than I expected him to be.
“Oh well then I’m gonna let you go. I gotta get to the store this morning before it gets too late,” she says, reminding me of the time difference between us. It’s late afternoon here but still morning there.
“Okay, sounds good. We’ll talk soon,” I say, sitting up just in time to see Kane shrug out of his black suit jacket and drop it on the back of the chair before stalking toward me.
“Love you, El.”
“Love you too.” I barely get the last part out before Kane has my phone in his hand, pressing end before dropping it on the side table next to the couch.
“Hey now,” I object playfully, letting out a soft cry of surprise when he leans down, latches his hands behind my knees, and hoists me into his arms. I instantly wrap my arms and legs around him, pressing my forehead to his.
“Hey.” He smiles against my lips before laying a soft kiss to my mouth.
“Hey,” I practically whisper. “You’re home early.”
“Couldn’t get out of there fast enough.” He kisses me again. “All I could think about was coming home and taking my girl out on the town.” Another kiss, this one more than just a soft press of his lips to mine.
“I think I like the sound of that.” I smile against his mouth.
“But first I need something.” He drops his face into the crook of my neck and inhales deeply. “God you smell so good.”
“Glad you think so.” I lean my head back to give him better access to my neck, his lips sliding across the base. “What was it that you needed?” I ask when he makes no attempt to clarify.
“Babe.” It’s the only thing he says before his hand finds its way into my hair and he’s pulling my mouth back to his.
“I see.” I giggle, getting the bigger picture. “Lucky for you I’m in a giving mood,” I tease, running my tongue along his bottom lip.
“You’re always in a giving mood,” he reminds me, leaning forward to deposit me on the couch, his body coming down to rest on mine as he settles between my legs.
“Only for you,” I point out, gasping when he grinds down against me, a spark of desire lighting fast–the fire instantly spreading through my body.
“That’s my girl.” I feel him smile against my lips.
It doesn’t take long for things to escalate. With Kane I can go from zero to sixty in a matter of seconds. One minute we’re kissing, the next we’re ripping off clothes like they’re on fire.
At some point I end up on top of Kane, pressing my weight down against him as I take him deep before pulling back up. I love this position. I love watching his face. The mixture of pleasure and frustration as I bring him to the brink over and over. Watching his expression change when I know he’s close and stopping just before he gets there.
It’s a fun game. One he’s played with me more times than I can count over the last three weeks. It’s about time I get a chance to return the favor. It’s torture. I know it is. But it’s also the sweetest kind. Only problem is, I’m not just torturing him.
“El.” Kane stares up at me, eyes hooded, bottom lip clenched between his teeth.
“What?” I ask innocently, grinding my hips downward in a little circular motion. “I thought you liked this. Delayed gratification is what you called it last time, was it not?”
“You’re pushing your luck, babe,” he warns, narrowing his gaze at me.
“Am I?” I repeat the circular motion again, watching his eyes close for the briefest moment.
The next thing I know I’m on my back and Kane has me pinned beneath him, my arms above my head, his weight pressing me into the cushions.
“Just remember you asked for this.” With that he pulls back and slams into me so hard I move at least six inches up the couch. My hands find the armrest and I flatten my palms against it to hold myself in place just as he rams into me again.
His thrusts are rough, punishing, and while I love every second of it, it makes it clear that he’s been holding back on me.
I lift my hips, welcoming his sweet assault, loving the way the pleasure and pain mix together in a way that has me screaming out my own release within seconds. Kane follows shortly behind, collapsing down on top of me moments later.
“That. Was. Amazing,” I breathe out, trying to slow my heartbeat.
“I’m sorry I was so rough.” He doesn’t move his face from my neck.
“I’m not.”
“Did I hurt you?” He kisses the base of my throat.
“In the best way possible,” I say, placing my hands on both sides of his head and guiding his face upward. “You’ve been holding out on me,” I tell him, watching concern melt into an incredible smile.
“Fuck falling.” He pauses. “I’ve already hit the bottom.”
“Kane.”
“I’m serious, Elara. You’ve got me so fucking tied up I can’t even concentrate at work. All I can think about is you. Coming home to you. Being with you. You’re damn distracting, woman.” He peppers kisses up my jaw.
“The same can be said for you.” I grin, pulling his mouth down to mine.
“I mean it, El.” he mutters against my lips before pulling back, his dark gaze finding mine. “I don’t want to leave,” he admits.
“Neither do I.”
“I don’t want anything to change this thing happening between us.”
“Neither do I,” I repeat.
“Promise me it won’t. Promise me it won’t change.” Looking into his incredible eyes, for the first time I realize that past his tough exterior and intimidating nature, he’s just as scared as I am.
“I promise,” I say, rubbing my nose against his. “I promise,” I repeat, lifting my head to press a soft kiss to his chin. “I promise.” I move my lips to his right cheek and then his left, finally ending up back on his mouth.
“I love you,” he mutters against my lips before once again deepening the kiss.
My heart explodes inside my chest, beating so viciously it’s a wonder I don’t go into cardiac arrest. My hands are shaking when I thread them through his hair and hold him tightly to me, never wanting to lose the feeling that is singing across every inch of my body.