“Hey, mom.” I wedge the phone between my shoulder and ear as I toss my suitcase onto the bed. It feels weird being here, back in Chicago. After weeks spent in Italy with Elara, being back in the States feels almost foreign.
“Hi, baby. You make it home okay?” Her sweet voice fills the space.
“We did. Just landed about an hour ago.”
“How are you feeling?”
“Exhausted.” I sigh, walking to the far window and looking down at the city below.
“I bet.”
“Anyway, I need to get some things settled here and stuff, but I wanted to let you know that we made it home safe and sound so you wouldn’t worry.”
“Of course, honey. You do your stuff and call me later after you’ve settled in.”
“Okay. Sounds good, Ma.”
“I love you, Kane.”
“Love you too.” I click the phone off and turn, spotting Elara leaning against the bedroom door frame watching me.
“Hey.” I let my eyes trail the length of her. Even in yoga pants and a tank top, hair a messy bun and zero makeup on, she has to be the most breathtaking creature on this earth.
“Hey,” she answers, knotting her hands in front of herself.
“You good?” I ask, sensing that something is off with her.
It takes less than three seconds for it to happen. One minute she’s standing there, the next she dissolves into tears, her hands coming up to cover her face.
“Elara.” I’m in front of her in an instant, pulling her into my arms. “Babe.” I rock her gently as she sobs against me, not really sure what the hell is going on.
“I’m sorry,” she mutters against my shirt, burying her face in my chest.
“Don’t be sorry, baby. Just tell me what’s wrong,” I soothe, my hand grasping the back of her neck as I hold her to me.
“I don’t know,” she admits, pulling back to meet me with a tear stained face. “I don’t know what’s wrong. I just feel…” she pauses, “off.”
“Why do you feel off?”
“I don’t know. Something just doesn’t feel right.”
“What can I do?” I ask at a loss. I’ve seen Elara cry before, obviously, but this feels different. Maybe because before I understood why she was crying and now I have zero idea what’s going on with her.
“I need a minute,” she says after a long moment, stepping out of my embrace.
“Elara,” I call after her as she crosses toward the window I was standing in front of just moments ago.
“I just need a minute, Kane. Okay? I just need a fucking minute.” She spins toward me, tears streaming down her flushed face.
“What is going on with you?” I ask, making no attempt to go to her, fearing that might make it worse. “What happened? You were fine a few minutes ago. Tell me what’s going on. Let me help you.”
“I have to get out of here,” she announces abruptly.
With that she crosses the room, shoving past me without meeting my gaze. She’s in the living room before I’ve caught up to her but when she spins toward me it’s no longer sadness and conflict that’s covering her face, it’s pain.
“Elara.” I reach her in seconds. “Baby, what is it?”
“Something’s really not right.” She hits me with panicked eyes, clutching her stomach.
“What is it?” I repeat, starting to panic a little.
Before she can answer me, she buckles over letting out a wail of pain, her arms tightening around her middle.
“Kane,” she sobs when I lift her into my arms.
“Don’t worry, babe. I’ve got you.” It’s the last thing I say before I take off running with Elara secured to my chest.
It takes me less than fifteen minutes to reach the hospital, but by this time Elara is in so much pain she can barely speak at all. It isn’t until I lift her out of the passenger seat that I notice blood pouring down her legs.
Oh god.
I have no idea what the hell is going on but that amount of blood cannot be good.
I’m inside the emergency room within seconds, yelling like a lunatic for someone to help me. Seeing the amount of blood that’s puddling onto the white tile floor, one of the nurses immediately jumps into action, leading me through a set of doors and down a hallway where she has me deposit Elara onto an examination table.
She instantly curls into a ball, clutching her stomach and crying for me not to leave her.
“I’m not going anywhere,” I promise, crouching down next to the bed. “Elara, look at me.” I wait until her gaze meets mine before continuing. “I’m not going anywhere,” I repeat.
“I’m sorry.” Fresh tears well in her eyes and I instantly move to soothe her.
“You have nothing to be sorry for,” I manage to get out, but not before her eyes flutter close and she goes completely silent.
“What’s happening?” I look to the nurse who calmly explains that she’s lost a lot of blood and that the doctor needs to examine her. Right then, a middle aged man in a white lab coat enters the room with two other medical personnel following directly behind him.
I’m quickly escorted from the room by another nurse I hadn’t even seen come in. I want to refuse to leave, throw myself on top of Elara and tell them they’ll have to go through me to get to her, but I know that will only make things worse.
I pace the hallway for what feels like an eternity but is likely less than a couple minutes before Elara is rushed from the room, a four person medical team running alongside the bed she’s currently laying on, unconscious and still bleeding.
I hear someone say emergency surgery but I can’t process where it came from. I can’t do anything but stand here like a frozen statue, not able to process a single fucking thing happening.
A nurse steps in front of me, her voice faint. It feels like she’s not the only one talking and I can’t process a single word she says. Words like pregnancy and ruptured fallopian tube. It’s all one big blur.
I don’t know how long I stand here, staring down an empty hall at the set of double doors where Elara and the team of doctors and nurses disappeared through. A minute ago? Two? Five? I have no real sense of time.
“Sir,” I hear come faintly from behind me. “Sir,” I hear again, this time moments before the nurse steps into my line of sight. “Sir, can you please come with me? I have some paperwork I need you to fill out.”
I nod but don’t make any attempt to speak as I turn and follow the woman back out into the waiting area, the word pregnancy flashing in front of my eyes in big bold letters.
How can she be pregnant? She said she couldn’t have kids.
And what does a ruptured fallopian tube mean?
Is the baby okay?
Is Elara going to be okay?
These are the things that cloud my mind as I stare down at the clip board in front of me, not fully comprehending. I’ve only written her name down before realizing I don’t know any of the answers to the questions they’re asking.
I don’t know if she takes any medications, though I can’t say I’ve ever seen her take any. I don’t know her family’s medical history outside of her mom. I have no idea if she’s ever had previous surgeries, though I feel like maybe she would have mentioned that if she had.
Fuck.
I look around me, seeing various people peppered throughout the room and yet oddly enough, not really seeing anyone at all.
I try to refocus, holding the pen back to the clip board where the next question is about history of pregnancies. Pregnancy. The word triggers a wave of nausea to run through me and I instantly toss the clip board onto the chair next to me before standing and quickly exiting the hospital.
****
“Is she okay?” It’s the first words that leave my mouth when a dark haired nurse approaches me nearly two hours after I watched a team of doctors and nurses roll Elara back into emergency surgery.
“Would you mind following me?” the dark haired woman asks, looking around the room.
“Is she okay?” I repeat, refusing to move until she at least tells me that much.
“She’s going to be fine,” she says. Relief instantly floods through me. The rest I can deal with, whatever it is, as long as it means I’m not going to lose her too.
I’ve spent the last two hours obsessing over every moment we’ve spent together, wondering if this was all we would get. It was the same thing I did when I found out about Kam’s accident. I paced, I prayed, and I relived every moment, hoping to god it wouldn’t be all I would get. With Kam it was. To be placed into this situation again, this time with the woman I love, it’s a wonder I’m still able to stand on my own two feet as I follow the nurse into a small office and take a seat.
“Dr. Bryant will be in to explain everything shortly,” she says, nodding once before quickly closing the door behind her. Left alone in the deafening silence, I feel like I’m going to crawl out of my skin at any moment.
Elara is okay. That’s the only thought that doesn’t have me stalking out of this damn office after waiting a full ten minutes for the doctor to come in and tell me what the hell is going on.
After getting over my panic attack earlier, I placed a call to Sam. I promised him I would let him know the moment I knew anything, so I quickly pull my cell out of my pocket and type a quick message letting him know she’s okay and that I’m waiting to meet with the doctor.
When I called him to tell him what was going on he was ready to jump on a plane and fly here immediately. Somehow, I was able to convince him to wait until we know more, though I wouldn’t doubt if he’s not already on a plane by now. I know if it were my daughter there would be no way in hell I wouldn’t be.
I press send on my text message to Sam and look up just as the doctor enters the room. He’s shorter than I realized in the exam room. He’s also a lot older. Only now do I see the deep wrinkles that frame his round face as he takes a seat across the desk from me.
“How is she?” I don’t wait for him to speak before asking.
“Your wife is going to be okay. She lost a lot of blood but we were able to go in and remove the fallopian tube. She’s in recovery now.”
My wife… It takes me a second to realize why he referred to her that way. I had the forethought to list myself as her husband on her paperwork. The last thing I needed was for no one to talk to me when the woman I love is in danger.
“Thank god.” I breathe out another deep sigh of relief but still not able to shake the weight sitting on my chest.
“Your wife experienced an ectopic pregnancy,” he continues.
“Which is what exactly?” I cut him off, not waiting for him to continue before asking.
“It’s where the fertilized egg implants outside of the uterus. I would say she was approximately six weeks along. Though rare, in some cases this can cause the fallopian tube to rupture, which is what happened here today. That was the source of the blood and why she was experiencing severe abdominal pain.”
Six weeks? That means she must have gotten pregnant within the first couple times of us being together.
“I don’t understand how this happened though. She’s infertile,” I say.
“There was a lot of scar tissue on the ruptured fallopian tube, so it may have given a prior doctor that opinion. But her other one looks good. She very well may be able to have a successful pregnancy in the future.”
“You’re saying she can have children?” I question, in complete shock.
“No. I’m saying it’s not impossible,” he corrects. “Now, she’ll need to stay here for the next couple days so we can keep an eye on her, but I think the worst is behind her and she should make a full recovery.”
“When can I see her?”
“She should be in her room now. You can go on up. Third floor. Room 322.”
“Thank you so much.” I stand, shaking his hand before quickly exiting the office.
It takes me less than five minutes before I’m pushing my way inside Elara’s room. It’s quiet and dark. The shades are drawn closed and the television is off.
I make my way quietly through the room, stopping to look down at my girl, who even after going through emergency surgery looks so beautiful and peaceful it sends a warm sensation straight through me.
She’s sound asleep, lips slightly parted, her hair fanned out on the pillow behind her. There’s an I.V. in her left arm and a few monitoring wires hooked to her chest, but otherwise she looks like she would any other day when I would wake up before her and watch her sleep.
“Hey, babe,” I say without really meaning to, carefully sitting on the side of the bed before taking her hand in mine. “You gave me quite a scare.” I run my thumb up and down the back of her hand. “I thought I lost you for a second there.” My insides seize up and the weight of everything that’s happened today crashes over me.
Before I know it, tears are welling behind my eyes and spilling down my cheeks.
“I didn’t know what was happening,” I keep talking. “I was so scared, Elara.” I let out a shaky breath. “I know you belonged to Kam first, but I’m not ready to give you back to him just yet. Because you’re in here now.” I place my free hand over my heart. “You’re so deep in here that losing you would rip my heart straight from my chest. I wouldn’t survive it, Elara. Thank god you’re okay,” I say, kissing the back of her hand before releasing it.
I sit here for a long time, watching her chest rise and fall as she breathes, and thanking god every time I see it happen. Eventually I move from the bed to the chair, angling it so Elara is in my line of sight as I stretch my legs out and try to get comfortable.
“Never thought I’d see the day,” I hear Kam say, my eyes shooting open to see him sitting on the edge of Elara’s bed where I had been only moments earlier.
“Kam?” I question, sitting upright.
“Never thought I’d see the day when a woman would be able to tame the infamous Kane Thaler.” He cocks a smile at me, his hazel eyes locking on mine. “Makes sense that it’s her.” His eyes go to Elara and he looks at her for a long moment before turning back to me. “She’s special, this one.”
“She is,” I agree.
“She’s also not as tough as she pretends to be. It’s important you know that about her so you understand how to help her through this. She’s going to panic and she’s going to push you away. It’s up to you not to let her.”
“She won’t push me away,” I object.
“She will.” He shakes his head. “Trust me on this one, brother. I’m well versed in all things butter bean.”
“Butter bean?” I cock my head to the side and fight back a laugh.
“That’s what I always called her. She’s my bean. The one person that could make me smile no matter what was happening in my life. She was my person. And now, she’s yours.”
“Kam,” I start but he cuts me off.
“I’m glad she chose you. You need someone like bean to keep you in line. And she needs someone like you too. Be good to her, brother. Love her. Give her lots of babies to love. And do me a favor, would ya? The first boy…” He gives me a knowing grin.
“Let me guess, you want us to name him Kamden.”
“I mean, if you insist.” His grin turns to a full blown smile.
“I miss you,” I say, leaning forward to rest my elbows on my knees.
“I’m right here, Kane. I’ve always been right here. And I’m not going anywhere either. Trust me when I say that if you fuck this up, I will haunt your ass for the rest of your life.” He points a finger at me, laughter rumbling through his words.
“I would expect nothing less.”
“Time to wake up now, Kane,” Kam says, standing. “Elara needs you now. It’s time to wake up.”
And with that my eyes shoot open and instantly connect with a pair of ocean blue eyes that earlier today I feared I’d never see again.