Two years ago
“Damn it, El. If you don’t hold your pretty ass still I’m going to come over there and sit on top of you,” Kam warns, holding his camera up to his face as he looks through the view finder and snaps another picture.
“I’m sorry but this hurts.” I cover my face with my hands as the tattoo gun continues to prick the flesh directly above my right hip bone. “I don’t understand why you have to take pictures now. Can’t you wait until it’s done?”
“This is your first tattoo, butter bean. I need to capture the moment.” He moves the camera away and hits me with a wide smile.
“I’m pretty certain I won’t need a picture to remember this.” I look down at the burly man covered head to toe in tattoos, better known as Tulk, as he moves the ink gun back and forth, his hand dangerously close to touching my naughty bits.
“You say that now, but twenty years from now you’ll be glad I took pictures of everything,” Kam disagrees.
“I think some things are better left un-captured.” I lay my head back in the chair and look sideways at Kam.
“It’s going to look amazing.” He bounces on his heels, zooming in on the almost finished product before snapping another picture.
“Well it better look as amazing as yours or I want my money back.” I flash a grin at Tulk who simply grunts and continues on. “I still can’t believe I let you talk me into this.”
When Kam suggested we get tattoos I never dreamt we’d get matching ones, but then I saw the amazing piece he had designed and instantly I knew I wanted it too. It’s a feather that has a small section missing from one side where it’s broken off and turned into five tiny birds flying away. He says it represents life. I like to think in some weird way it represents the two of us.
“It will,” he reassures me.
“I’m thinking maybe I shouldn’t have picked such a painful location.” I cringe when the needle hits a really sensitive spot.
“You could have done it on your arm like I did.” He gestures to the top of his forearm that’s wrapped in plastic.
“If I didn’t think my dad would kill me for doing this, I probably would have. This way he’ll likely never see it.”
“Unless you’re wearing a bikini.”
“Well lucky for me I don’t wear bikinis in front of my father.”
“Lucky for me you do wear them in front of me.” He lifts his eyebrows suggestively.
“You’re ridiculous.” I laugh, earning me a stern ‘be still’ from Tulk.
Kam hits me with a wide grin and I swear he becomes a hundred times better looking when he smiles at me like that. You would think after five years of friendship I would be immune to his charms, but alas, I’m anything but immune.
“Okay.” Tulk pulls the gun back and wipes across my skin, pulling my focus back to him. “I think we’re all done.” He straightens his posture before reaching behind him to grab a hand held mirror, extending it to me.
“Oh my god.” I cover my mouth with the hand that’s not holding the mirror, still in complete and total shock that I actually went through with this. “I love it.” I smile up at Kam who once again has his camera focused on me.
“It looks amazing, bean. I told you it would.”
Looking back down at the tattoo, I angle the mirror so I can get a really good look at it. It’s perfect. Everything that I hoped it would be. And what’s even better is that it really means something to me.
“Now I’m a part of you forever.” Kam steps up next to me as Tulk rubs some ointment on the tattoo and slaps a piece of plastic wrap over it, taping up the sides so it will stay.
“You’ll be a part of me forever anyways,” I counter, taking his hand once everything is covered and allowing him to pull me upright.
Kam smiles, tipping his face down to drop a kiss to the top of my head before pulling me to my feet.
****
Present Day
“Elara.” My eyes shoot open and I quickly look around, disoriented and confused. The reminiscence of the dream still heavy on my mind as reality slowly starts to filter in.
I blink several times, trying to shake off the image of Kam’s smile as my hand instinctively goes to the front of my right hip. I wish it was just a dream. Dreams I can handle. It’s the memories that haunt me. The ones that play out like I’m still there, experiencing the moment as if it’s actually happening, and then having to wake up to the same gut wrenching truth – that Kam is gone – then all I want to do is slip back into that dream world somehow. The one where Kam is still alive, smiling at me the way he always used to, snapping away on that damn camera that used to annoy the hell out of me but is now one of the things I miss the most.
“Elara,” I hear again, the voice able to successfully pull me from the fog, like a beacon calling to me as I try to find my way out of the sea.
“Hey,” I say, my eyes finally focusing enough to find Kane’s gaze.
He’s sitting in the seat next to me, tilted forward slightly so he has a full view of my face. “You fell asleep.” He smiles, gesturing to the window on my right.
I sit up straighter and look outside, surprised to see we are much closer to the ground than when I dozed off.
“How long was I asleep for?” I ask, my gaze going back to him.
“About seven hours.”
“Seven hours?” I question, a bit shocked I was able to sleep so soundly given my surroundings.
“I hope it’s okay I let you sleep. I didn’t want to wake you. You looked so peaceful.”
“No, it’s okay.” I stretch out, turning side to side to try and work out the stiffness in my back. “I guess I didn’t sleep very well last night.”
“Well considering you were awake before the sun even came up, I would expect not.” He gives me a knowing look before adding, “We should be landing really soon.”
“I can’t believe we’re actually here,” I say, once again looking out the window at the green world beneath us. “Italy.” I smile to myself. “It’s even more beautiful than I imagined.”
“Just wait until you get to see it up close.”
“How quickly do you have to get to work once we arrive?” I ask abruptly, turning back to face Kane.
“I’ll need to be in the office first thing tomorrow morning,” he says, clearly seeing the disappointment on my face that I try like hell to hide. “But we can do a little sightseeing this evening after we get settled. Then tomorrow evening I’m taking you on a beer tasting tour.”
“Beer tasting tour?” I question, not sure I’ve ever heard of such a thing.
“It was the first thing I did the first time I came to Milan. It’s a great way to get out and experience the city a little. They have microbrews all around and a guide will take us on a walking tour where you’ll get to try different beers and appetizers. They take you right along the canal too which is honestly like a scene from a movie.”
“Sounds incredible.”
“It really is,” he agrees. “I can also make arrangements for you to visit Manarola in the next few days.”
“You don’t have to do all that. I can manage on my own.”
“No offense, Elara, but you’re in a strange country for the very first time. It would make me feel a lot better if you let me help you navigate your visit here.”
“You could always come with me,” I say, but not really sure if I meant to.
“To Manarola?” he asks, a small grin playing on his mouth.
“Have you ever been?”
“I have not.”
“Then you should come. It will be something new for the both of us.”
“I’d like that.” His smile widens. “We could make plans to stay a weekend there so you can really get the true feel of the area.”
“Sounds perfect.” I smile, the fluttery feeling in my belly becoming even more prominent.
****
“Well, this is it.” Kane opens the door to the apartment we will be staying in, waiting for me to step through the doorway before following me inside.
I pause in the foyer, taking in the small space. It’s modern and clean but also full of Old Italian charm which I’m very happy to see. I was hoping to get the full Italian experience and it’s clear that is exactly what I’m going to get. The door ways are incredible arches and the wall that runs along the back of the living space is covered in deep red wallpaper that for some reason screams Italy to me. The furniture is stark white with end tables that look like something out of an art gallery.
There’s a small two person table pressed against the outside wall of the kitchen and one doorway that sits at the back of the room. The space can’t be more than five hundred square feet total, unless the bedrooms are bigger.
“I’ve stayed here the two times I’ve been in Italy.” Kane drops his suitcase to the side and crosses to the left where a small galley kitchen is tucked away in the corner. He continues to speak after he’s disappeared inside. “I know it’s small, but it’s a central location and as you saw from the drive in, it’s surrounded by tons of restaurants and shops. I could have gotten something bigger,” he says, re-emerging from the kitchen with two bottles of water. “But I thought you’d appreciate this location more.” He hands me one of the bottles when he reaches me.
“It’s perfect.” I smile.
“Just wait until you see the bedroom. The view from the window back there is amazing.” He puts the bottle to his lips and takes a long drink.
“Bedroom?” I question, not missing the way he says it as in singular.
“There’s only one bedroom here,” he admits, seeming completely comfortable with this.
“One?” I choke.
“Relax.” He chuckles, setting his water on the small door side table before hoisting his duffel bag over his shoulder and grabbing the handle of his suitcase. “I can sleep on the couch,” he adds, carrying his luggage to the back of the room and disappearing inside what I can only assume is the one bedroom.
Not sure what else to do, I grab my suitcase and drag it through the apartment toward the bedroom as well. When I step into the doorway, Kane already has his suitcase open and is hanging shirts in the closet which is really more of a wall with hanging racks and shelves, completely open to the rest of the room.
I open my mouth to say something but become momentarily distracted when I catch sight of the large window, or rather the view out of that window. It takes up almost the entire back wall of the room, giving off a perfect view of the canal.
Abandoning my suitcase in the doorway, I make my way to the window, not able to tear my gaze off of the incredible sight before me.
Italy. I’m actually in Italy, I think to myself, for the first time actually taking it all in.
“Amazing, isn’t it?” I jump when Kane’s voice sounds directly next to me.
“Incredible,” I admit, slowly turning to find his gaze locked on me.
“I’ll need to keep all my things in here and of course, we will have to share the bathroom.” He points to a door behind me. “But you can have the bed.”
“That’s not necessary. I’m happy to take the couch. Besides, you’re way taller than me. You’d likely hang half way off that tiny thing,” I object.
“I’ve slept on worse.” He chuckles like he’s remembering something funny before quickly adding, “Besides, you’re my guest. What kind of host would I be if I forced you to sleep on the couch?”
“And what kind of guest would I be if I made you sleep on it?” I counter.
“It’s fine, Elara.” He grins. “Really.”
“Kane,” I say as he turns to walk away.
“Not up for discussion, Elara. The bed is yours.”
I’m seconds away from suggesting that we share it but quickly snap my mouth shut, knowing how absurd that would be. Even though it is a queen bed and we could both easily fit, I honestly can’t imagine sleeping next to him and not doing something I would very much regret after the fact.
So instead I say nothing at all, watching him exit the room moments later without another word.
It takes me all of fifteen minutes to empty out my suitcase, hanging the few outfits I brought with me right alongside Kane’s much fancier looking wardrobe that consists mainly of black suits, light colored collared shirts and ties –all of which I know to be for work. I trail my hand down the arm of one of the suit jackets, my mind wandering back to the only time I’ve seen him in a suit– at Kam’s funeral.
“Hey.” Kane’s voice startles me. I quickly drop the jacket sleeve, bend down to pick up my toiletries from my bag, and do my best to pretend like he didn’t catch me oddly touching his clothing.
“Hey,” I say, straightening my posture once I have my cosmetics bag, shampoo, conditioner, body wash, and all my other girly things balanced in my arms.
“I was thinking I’d take a shower. Then maybe we could go out for dinner in a little bit,” he offers, continuing to speak as I step into the tiniest bathroom in the world and deposit all my things on one of the built in shelves above the toilet.
“I’d like that,” I say, emerging from the bathroom seconds later. “But you’ll need to give me time to shower as well. I feel like I’ve been in these clothes for days,” I say, looking down at my black yoga pants and gray baseball tee. I wanted to be as comfortable as possible for the eleven hour flight here but now I feel rather frumpy.
“Of course. Why don’t you go first and I’ll make a few phone calls while I wait my turn.”
“Okay,” I agree, letting out a small breath when he nods once and disappears from the doorway.
Quickly crossing the space, I close the door and slide the lock before dropping my back against the old weathered looking wood.
I’m pretty sure my heart has not beat properly since the second we stepped into this tiny space and I’m already wondering how in the hell I’m going to be able to exist with Kane in such close proximity for the next four weeks.
I have a feeling I may have bitten off way more than I can chew.
Spotting my cell phone on the edge of the bed where I dropped it, I remember I need to let my dad know we landed safely. Using the reminder to distract myself, I quickly type out a text and head for the shower.
I take way longer than I should, making sure my apple butter scented body wash touches every single inch of my body at least twice. As if I can somehow wash off the effect Kane seems to be having over it.
When I exit several minutes later, I hear Kane on the phone in the other room, only I can’t understand a word he’s saying. Walking to the door, I press my ear to the crack and listen closer, realizing that the reason I can’t understand him is because he isn’t speaking English.
Kane speaks Italian?
I wish the thought didn’t warm my cool skin but something about listening to the way the words roll from his mouth so beautifully, so sexy, makes him somehow even more attractive. I listen for several long seconds, taking deep breaths to try and steady my pounding heart, before I finally decide I can’t listen anymore.
As if I wasn’t already fighting off the urge to throw myself at him, now I’m just plain torturing myself.
I dress quickly, slipping on an off the shoulder pale yellow sundress that lands just above my knee. It’s one of those dresses that can be worn with just about anything and can be easily dressed up or down depending on how you accessorize. My mom always said it’s not about the outfit itself, but about how you accent it that makes all the difference.
And she would know. She always dressed so beautifully. Even when she was working around the house doing laundry or cleaning, she always looked stunning.
I keep my hair tied up in the towel while I use the long free standing mirror in the corner of the room to apply a little makeup. I keep it simple; a little eyeliner, some light mascara, and the tiniest blush to my cheeks to give me a little color. Having not spent that much time outside this summer, my skin is starting to lose the golden tan that I usually have pretty much year round.
Running a quick blow dry through my long hair, I leave it down, quite pleased with how the natural wave gives it some body. My hair is pretty hit or miss. Sometimes it looks amazing with just a quick brush, other times it takes me an hour with an iron to get it to do what I want. Thankfully today was not one of those days.
Deciding to spruce up my outfit a little, considering I have no idea where Kane is taking me, I partner the pale yellow dress with a long silver double chain and simple drop earrings, before sliding into my favorite silver sandals to finish off the look.
I’m still looking at my reflection in the mirror when a soft knock sounds against the door.
“Come in,” I say, the door opening seconds later.
Kane’s expression hardens as he catches sight of me in the mirror. His eyes darken as they trail up my body before finally meeting my gaze in the reflection. If I had any question that the attraction I feel for him was one-sided, it would now be gone. The look he’s giving me tells me something much different.
As if realizing his mistake, he looks away, turning to drop his phone on the bedside table.
“We’re going to need to get going soon if we want to have some daylight left,” he says, not looking in my direction.
“Okay. I’m finished.” I turn away from the mirror, grabbing my own cell phone before quickly stepping past him.
“Elara.” His voice stops me just as I reach the door. “You look beautiful.” His dark gaze meets mine and I swear that one look causes my entire world to tilt on its axis.