Chapter 11
Lila
Girth was dressed within seconds of coming in my hands. It was like a button had suddenly switched off in him and he was done. While I on the other hand, couldn’t bare the thought of being apart from him. It could have been that I was paranoid because of the shooting, and that I just wanted to feel safe…and nobody could make me feel as safe as Girth did.
“I don’t hate you, Lila,” Girth said with a growl and I rolled my eyes at him. He sure was behaving like he did. I could still feel Girth’s mouth on my nipples, as I straightened up my own clothes and then walked towards the kitchen sink to wash my hands.
Thankfully, Girth hadn’t left yet and gone outside like I expected him to but instead, he was following my every movement with his eyes.
I washed my hands at the sink, getting the last traces of his cum off my fingers and palm. I dabbed my hands dry with a towel before turning to him again. Girth’s gaze dropped down from my face to my breasts, and then down my belly till he was staring right at the spot between my legs. I liked being watched by him, I liked knowing that he constantly wanted my body; no matter how much he hated himself for it.
I watched as Girth ran a hand through his dark hair and shook his head.
“I should be going outside. I need to keep watch,” he said and I stepped in his direction hurriedly.
“Wait. Shouldn’t we talk about Hugh first?” I blurted. Girth stopped in his tracks and looked at me again. His golden brown eyes were narrowed and focused on my face now, drinking me in as he stared. The expression on his face was that of being burnt and I could sense that he was not in the mood to discuss Hugh, but we needed to get it out of the way.
“What about him?” he asked, and his voice was a deep grumble again. I felt my throat go dry and I gulped.
“I want you to know that there is nothing going on between us,” I said and clasped my hands together.
Girth gritted his teeth but said nothing. Instead, his face remained turned to me and his eyes roamed all over my body. The silence between us in my house was deathly and I couldn’t control my urge to fill in that gap of silence. I stepped towards him again and his nostrils flared angrily.
“Seriously, Girth, Hugh is a friend of my dad’s. He has been for a very long time and I can promise you that nothing has ever happened between us. All he feels towards me is a brotherly sort of affection,” I said and Girth shook his head lightly and looked away from me.
“If that is what you think, then you’re being foolish, Lila. The man has feelings for you, and I can assure you that they are not brotherly ones,” Girth said and I stepped closer to him.
“Maybe he does, I don’t know. I don’t spend enough time with him to know what’s going on in his head. All I know is that I feel nothing for him, do you believe me?” I was pleading with him and I didn’t even know why. This was unlike me. I never begged a man to give me his attention. If Girth wanted to leave after we had sex, then I should have let him. I didn’t owe him any explanation, but I couldn’t help it. I was drawn to him. I wanted to know that something more could happen between us. That there was still a chance.
“What does your father think of him, Lila?” he asked and for a few moments, my words were caught in my throat. He’d caught me out, I didn’t like the answer to his question if I was going to be honest with him.
“Daddy doesn’t know me the way he thinks he does. In his head, Hugh is the ideal man for me, but that’s not what I think,” I said and Girth shook his head and drew in a deep breath.
“Your father is right, and he does know what is best for you. You should trust his instincts,” Girth said.
“Trusting his instincts nearly got me killed!” I screeched and he ran a hand through his hair.
“No, it didn’t. That was a mistake and now he’s doing everything he can to rectify that mistake. But trust me, in this matter with Hugh, he’s completely right. He is definitely the better choice for you and I don’t have the right to be jealous,” Girth said.
His words sent surges of electricity up and down my spine. He was admitting that he was jealous! And he was also claiming that he didn’t deserve me, which wasn’t true.
“Girth, you’re being unreasonable. You don’t even know Hugh!” I screeched, in an attempt to change his mind, but who was I kidding? Girth didn’t look like the kind of guy who would be affected by a little girlish squealing.
He stepped away from me, backwards, in the direction towards my house’s front door.
“Fine, if you don’t want to talk about Hugh, then maybe we should talk about how you need to keep your hands off me so that you don’t get shot in the head,” I said and crossed my arms over my breasts.
Girth stopped in his tracks. This time I had successfully caught his attention.
“What did you just say?” he asked and I arched an eyebrow at him menacingly.
“You heard me, you need to keep your hands off me if you want to stay alive,” I said and Girth’s eyebrows were crossed. He hadn’t expected me to change my tune so quickly.
***
This time it was him who came rushing towards me with fury.
“Are you threatening me?” he growled and I had to crane my neck to look up at him, while he stood menacingly in front of me, towering over me as he glared down. I jutted my chin out and held my ground. Strangely enough, even though we were fighting, there was nothing I wanted more than to be held by him.
“All I’m saying is that you’re going to get beaten up or worse if someone from my father’s MC finds out that you’ve been fucking me,” I snapped and there was a hot sizzle in my voice. Girth gritted his teeth and I could see that he had his fists clenched on his sides as well.
“Why would anyone find out about it unless you tell them?” he asked and I shrugged my shoulders.
“Fred saw you staring at me and glaring at Hugh. Your jealousy was unmistakable, one look in your direction and anyone could have seen what you were feeling when Hugh and I walked out of Daddy’s office together,” I said and I didn’t know why I was torturing him this way. I guess I just wanted him to feel as miserable as I was feeling, and all because he was trying to abstain himself from me.
Girth looked deep into my eyes and his golden brown pupils were lit on fire. He hadn’t replied to what I’d just said.
“And it’s against club rules, as I’m sure you’ve guessed already. Nobody touches Lewis’ daughter, unless he approves of it himself,” I said and Girth gulped angrily, before he turned away from me again. The moment he did, I felt a sinking sensation in my heart.
“And he approves of Hugh, so that shouldn’t be a problem for you two,” he said and he was now walking towards the front door. I followed him.
“So, that’s it? You’re just going to pussy out of this because my dad doesn’t approve?” I screeched and I could hear the tear in my voice. I wanted him to fight for me, not just fuck me, but it seemed like Girth was too loyal to the MC he was a part of, it always came first. Damn every woman who came in the way, including me!
Girth whipped around to me and he was glaring at me again, piercing my soul with his eyes.
“I am going to do everything I can to stay the fuck away from you, Lila, because you make me weak and I don’t like being weak. I know what you’re doing, you’re trying to rile me up so that I make a mistake but that will not happen again. I’m going to stand out on your porch and do my job, because that is what has been assigned to me but nothing more is going to happen between us,” Girth’s shoulders were heaving by the time he completed his speech.
My mouth was hanging open in surprise. I felt like someone had just slapped me across the face.
“And if necessary, I’ll speak to Lewis myself, he can do what he wants to me because I know I fucked up. I should have been able to resist you, because you are out of my league and out of my reach. But I didn’t, and I deserve any consequences for my actions that Lewis feels fit for me,” he continued and my throat felt dry again. I could feel the tears brimming in my eyes.
“I’m not going to tell him, Girth. I was just saying things to get a reaction from you. I don’t want you to get hurt,” I said and a cry escaped my lips as I stared at him. There was a tremble on my lips and I was afraid that I was going to break into tears in front of him, which was something that I definitely didn’t want to do.
Girth drew in a deep breath and shook his head. He was calm again. Whatever wave of rage had washed over him during our argument had passed now.
“I don’t care who you tell, Lila. I don’t live a life of hiding. Now, I’m going to go outside and sit on your porch. You should try and get some sleep,” he said and I watched as he reached for the doorknob and pulled the door open.
I still couldn’t say anything as I watched him step through the door and pull it shut behind him.
There were hot tears rolling down my cheeks now that I was alone in my house again, and the funny thing was that I didn’t even know why. Was I really crying over a man who I’d met a minute ago? What was there to even cry about? It wasn’t like I was already in love with him!
Was it the rejection? Was it the fact that I still hadn’t psychologically recovered from the shooting?
I walked up to the door and placed a palm on it, as though I could sense Girth outside. I looked through the peephole and saw him standing on my porch, with his back turned to my door, staring out and surveying the area around my house.
There was nothing but one chair on the porch where he was going to sit. I felt guilty and sad, when he could have so easily been inside the house with me.
But even though I didn’t really know Girth, there was one thing that I had already figured out about him, it was that he was duty-bound and the kind of man who would die in order to just get the job done.
I stepped away from the door and dragged my feet to my bedroom, where I sank into bed. I was feeling emotionally and physically exhausted now, but the one thing that had changed was that I would be able to sleep peacefully; knowing that Girth was outside my door, guarding me.