Chapter 1
Emma
I danced across my parent’s kitchen to the sounds of Bon Jovi that were coming from the stereo in the living room. I was preparing some snacks while waiting for my boyfriend, Noah, to come over, exulted that we finally had the whole house for ourselves. My parents were out of town for the weekend, so we would be able to get some much-needed alone time.
Noah and I had been together for more than two years. We were high school sweethearts, the golden couple, as they called us. However, I couldn’t help but feel that the reality was much, much bleaker than that.
Sure, the first two years had been amazing, during which I felt like we were inseparable. I’d felt like I found the love of my life. But the last several months weren’t so hunky-dory because there had been tension between us about college and where we were going.
I was all set to go to Indiana University like we had planned. Noah, however, was still wavering on what he was going to do. He’d gotten into Indiana University as well, but he kept bringing up that he wanted to go to the army.
My insides churned when I thought about the moment from seven months ago when he told me that this was something he’d been planning since he was younger.
“And you’re telling me this just now, Noah?” I asked him then, fear gripping me hard. I’d never considered the possibility that Noah might not always be by my side. Hearing that I might not be enough for him was a serious blow to my heart.
He shrugged his shoulders. “I haven’t told you anything until now because I knew you would react like this. I didn’t want to hurt you.”
“And you never thought about, maybe, choosing another path?”
“What can I do, Emma? I feel that is my only path. Do you want me to go against myself?”
“So, you’re going to go against us.”
“Don’t be like this, baby. You know how much I love you.”
Obviously not enough since you want to leave me to go to the army, I thought, but I didn’t voice it out loud.
“But why, Noah? Why can’t you reconsider your life choices?”
He frowned, getting annoyed with me. “You know that my father was in the military.” I nodded. “Well, I always wanted to follow in his footsteps. For me, there is no other thing I would want to do.”
“But your father died in combat. You can’t be actually serious about this,” I said before I could think better of it. He winced, hurt by my insensitive words. “I’m sorry. I was completely out of line now.”
“Don’t be so negative, Emma. Not everyone dies in combat.”
My phone beeped, bringing me back to the present moment. I took my phone and found Noah’s message.
“I’ll be there in five,” it said.
I sighed, wondering if I should ask him about the army when he arrived. I thought that we had moved past his want to join the military once he got into Indiana University, but now he seemed to be going back to thinking that he had to go. Just a few days ago, he admitted to me that he never stopped thinking about it, which brought back old fears.
I gripped the kitchen counter, my previous good mood already gone. I’d been excited about this weekend, but now I felt like discussing this with him until I knew exactly where we stood. We couldn’t keep going like this—hot and cold over and over again—and I needed to know for sure if he was going to leave me or not.
Noah was always punctual, so five minutes later, the door bell rang, and I darted to open the door.
“Hey, babe,” Noah said and pulled me in to kiss me.
As always, my lips parted immediately to allow his tongue access, my body warming next to him, reacting to how hot he was.
Noah was one of the popular guys in our school. He was tall—taller than most guys in our class—and a bit lanky. However, his brown hair and amber eyes compensated for it, making a perfect combination on his chiseled face, along with his soft, plump lips.
He backed me and closed the door, never breaking our kiss, and all my worries and doubts started melting away. For a moment, at least.
“Bon Jovi, huh?” he remarked when we snuggled up on the couch.
“You know I’m crazy about their songs.”
“Yeah. You always play their songs when I’m around.”
“I was thinking we can go to their concert. They will come to town in a couple of months, and the tickets are on sale.”
He didn’t respond anything to that, which should have been a clear enough sign that something was wrong. However, he kissed me before I could reflect on it, pressing me against the couch, and all coherent thoughts disappeared.
“Noah,” I breathed out, pulling him closer to me.
It had been a week since we’d been like this, but it felt like an eternity.
“Have you been a naughty girl these last few days, Emma? Have you touched yourself thinking about me?”
His dirty talk was one of my favorite things about him. He was a passionate and dominant lover, and he was my first. I simply knew that he ruined me for everyone else, and that no one would feel as good as him.
“Maybe.”
Supporting himself on one hand, he slid his other hand underneath my t-shirt. “Maybe?”
“Definitely.” I moaned when his hand covered my boob. I wasn’t wearing any bra, which was exactly how he liked it best. “A few times, actually. Once, I was almost caught by my mother.”
He tsked, enjoying this too much. “Shame on you.”
His lips found their way to my neck, his fingers tweaking my nipple. My breasts were extremely sensitive, so a few seconds into it, and I was already wet and breathless.
“Tell me. What were you thinking about when you were touching yourself?” His tongue traced the arch of my neck, and I shivered. “Have you thought about my mouth on your wet pussy? Have you thought about my dick pumping you hard as you scream my name?”
He lowered his hand and slid it under the waistband of my trainers. Slipping them inside my panties, he found my clit and began stroking it.
“Ah. Yes. I thought about your mouth and dick. I pushed my fingers into me imagining you fucking me hard.”
“Jesus, Emma.” He moved his fingers through my puffy lips and stopped at my entrance. “That’s good, because that’s what you’re going to get.” He slipped two digits into me, eliciting a loud moan out of me. “Look at you. Already wet for me.”
He was pumping me slowly, leaning away to look at my face. “You’re so beautiful.”
The way he was looking at me was different. He was looking at me as if he was memorizing me, as if he was never going to see me again, and it was another bad sign that I couldn’t examine further because the pleasure was clouding my reason.
I closed my eyes and arched my back, pushing my hips against his hand. He was fingering me faster now, bringing me almost close to the brink of my climax, but he didn’t quite let me get there.
Instead, he drew back and removed my trainers and panties, leaving my lower body naked. I took off my t-shirt and moved to the edge of the couch with him kneeling on the floor in between my legs.
Just as I leaned against the back of the couch, his lips connected with my swollen clitoris, his hands holding my legs in place.
“Baby...,” I breathed out, bucking my hips. My hands went to his head and grabbed him, pushing him even closer to me. “Yes. Just like that.”
I ground myself against his face, growing hotter and hotter. The pleasure spread through every inch of me, owning me, and my breathing turned louder and quicker.
“I’m going to come, Noah. I’m going to—”
I screamed and bucked my hips again, coming so hard that my whole body began convulsing. My orgasm wasn’t even over yet, when he pulled down his boxers and jeans and wrapped my legs around his waist. Still on his knees, he thrust into me and slammed his lips against mine.
He was moving like he was desperate, chasing something that I wasn’t aware of, and I responded to him with the frenzied movements of my own. I dug into his shoulders over his shirt, getting super wet with each thrust, and I felt close to another orgasm.
“You feel so good, babe,” he growled and sucked my lower lip into his mouth. He bit into it before he buried his head into my neck and grabbed my ass to move me toward him. His dick was now entering me more deeply, hitting my cervix each time, and it was more than I could handle.
Shouting his name, I came once more, but this time he orgasmed too, ramming into me one last time and stopping deep inside of me. His cock twitched once, twice, thrice, filling me with his warm sperm, and the feeling was amazing. Thankfully, I was on the pill, because the sex without condom felt way better than with it.
As soon as he pulled out of me, the euphoria dispersed, and the reality returned. I needed to know the truth.
I used the tissues from the coffee table and wiped myself before I pulled my panties and trainers back on. I sat down on the couch and twisted my hands on my lap, my heart pounding unusually fast.
“What’s wrong?” he asked me when he finished cleaning and sat down next to me again.
“I want to ask you something.”
“Shoot.”
“Um… What did you decide to do? Will you go to the army?” I asked him, nervousness coating my words.
He glanced away, clenching his jaw. “That’s not important. Don’t worry your pretty little head about it,” he brushed it off, which only sparked anger in me.
He wasn’t even looking at me, and now I knew that things between us were more serious than what I had thought. I couldn’t keep lying to myself and living in illusions.
“No, Noah. Don’t dismiss this subject like you always do. I deserve to know the truth, for Christ’s sake. I can’t keep living in fear every day that you’re going to leave me eventually. So, tell me. Are you going to join the army?”
He stood up and walked across the room, stopping next to the window with his back turned on me. Tension coiled in me, and all of a sudden, my limbs turned cold. I stood up too, but I didn’t close the distance between us. I couldn’t.
He sighed. “Yes. I’m leaving for the army.”
Leaving? “So, you’ve already joined it?”
“Yes,” he said, hammering another nail of utter pain into me. I couldn’t believe this. He had joined the military, and he never even told me anything about it.
The tears threatened to betray me, but I didn’t want to cry. Not in front of him.
“And…” My voice broke, and I had to swallow the lump in my throat. “And when are you leaving?”
For a couple of moments, the only thing that could be heard was the loud beating of my heart. It was in my throat, each beat emphasizing how bad this situation was. Noah was actually leaving. In the continuing silence, I felt my heart breaking, the harsh reality of what was actually happening hitting me hard. I was losing him.
And then, after what seemed like an eternity, he said, veiling me with a long-lasting pain, “I’m leaving tomorrow.”