Chapter 14
Noah
I woke up in Emma’s bed in the middle of the night, my body slightly tired after another intense round of sex when we came to her place. I couldn’t stop looking at her, following the fine contours of her shoulders and waist as she slept, her back facing me.
I brought my hand to her shoulder and traced her upper arm with my fingers, basking in the feeling of her silky skin underneath my fingertips. Fuck, I missed this so much.
I still had a hard time believing what was going on between us, too shocked to process the fact that I was able to be next to her again, despite our difficult past.
The irony of life never failed to surprise me. One moment I was alone and depressed about everything and everyone, and the next I found Emma and everything was good again. We didn’t talk much after that heated moment we shared in the dark alleyway, but I could feel she felt the same way as I did. She wanted me as much as I wanted her, and I could only hope it would be enough for her to give me another chance.
Because now I knew. I wanted another chance with her. I wanted to try to solve this mess that I was, and maybe Emma could help me just by being by my side.
I treaded my fingers through her blonde hair, feeling my chest expanding with admiration and devotion. I could never be able to explain to her just how grateful I was because she allowed me to be next to her. She was an angel, her goodness never failing to amaze me. I certainly didn’t deserve her, but I wanted us to try again. Things could be different this time.
I pulled the sheets off her, careful not to wake her up, and moved her so that she was lying on her back. She didn’t even stir, deep in her sleep. My eyes were plastered to her face, enticed by her innocent she looked. The darkness of her room cast shadows on her face that highlighted the fine lines of her cheeks and jaw, and I felt like I could stare at her all night.
However, the hunger in me was stronger. I had to feel her hot pussy. I had to taste her again and remind myself if she tasted as good as before.
I drew her legs apart and dove my head into her pussy, learning how wrong I was right away. She didn’t taste as good as before. She tasted even better. Much better, and I was lapping at her heated flesh greedily, noticing the way her body woke up with arousal. She was sleeping, but her body wasn’t sleeping at all, her juices overflowing out of her the more I sucked her clit and licked it.
She bucked her hips and moaned, and I tilted my head backward to look at her. She wasn’t awake, which turned me on even more. Fuck.
Holding her leg with my left hand, I inserted three fingers in her soaking wet pussy, groaning at how good she felt. Damn it. I’d almost forgotten just how addicted I had been before, not able to stop the urge to ravage her non-stop.
“Ah… Yes,” she mumbled through her sleep, and I fingered her faster, sucking her clitoris like it was my most favorite lollipop. “Yes…”
She began writhing, her hands clutching at the sheets, and I could feel my precum pouring out of my cock. It was throbbing so badly, almost to the point of hurting, and I knew I wouldn’t be able to last much longer.
Waking up at least, she screamed and raised her head to look at me, her eyes glazed with lust. “Oh God, Noah… I’m going to come any moment. Don’t stop, honey. Ah!”
I ground my face against her, pulling at her clit roughly, and she arched her back, letting out a long, loud moan that was one of the sexiest things I’d ever heard. Not a moment later, her juices spurted out of her, and she was coming so hard that her whole body went berserk, convulsing and thrashing.
“So, fucking delicious.” I couldn’t wait a second longer. I flipped her over and made her kneel, running my hand over her gorgeous ass. If she only knew how hot she looked like this, her ass raised high in the air the most perfect sight. I traced her spine with my hand, following the movement with my eyes, before I pressed her head against the mattress and positioned myself right behind her.
“I need to have you again, Emma. I can’t wait any longer.”
“Then do it,” she growled, impatient herself.
She didn’t need to tell me twice. Grabbing her ass with my hand while holding her head pressed against the bed, I rammed into her and started moving fast, filled with immense pleasure from the start. Her pussy was too tight and too wet, and the combination was killing me. I wasn’t going to last, even though I’d come twice already this night. That was how much she affected me.
“Ah, Noah… You’re so damn good! Just like that!”
I pressed my fingers into the soft skin of her butt, moving faster and faster. I just loved having her underneath me and completely under my control.
“You like me fucking you like this? Hard and rough?”
“Yes. You know I’m your naughty girl.”
My naughty girl. It would never cease to amaze me how angelic and devilish she could be, and I couldn’t be more than glad that after seven years, that trait of hers remained.
“Only mine,” I said and pulled out of her before I came too soon.
I turned her around and placed her legs over my shoulders, burying myself deep into her again. Locking my gaze with hers, I drove into her fast, feeling my climax building quickly again, and this time I let it happen.
Two deep thrusts later we came together, our moans and grunts becoming one in the dark of her bedroom. I began ejaculating a massive amount of sperm into her, rolling my eyes to the back of my head because it was so good.
I removed her legs from my shoulders and lay over her, suddenly too exhausted but sated.
“Seriously, thank you,” I mumbled into her shoulder, wrapping my arm around her waist as I moved to lie on my side. “You’re the most amazing girl.”
She didn’t answer anything, letting her hand that was caressing my hair speak for her. And before I knew it, I fell asleep.
I was standing in the middle of a park with Emma next to me. We were working things out, talking about our past and our future. She was wearing a cute dress that resembled the one she wore on our first date, or was it the same dress?
I kept glancing at her legs, my dick too hard in my jeans. I was so in love with her, wanting to be with her 24/7. Maybe, after this conversation was over, she would be mine again.
“Please, come back to me. Let’s try again.” My voice was unusually pleading, my fast heartbeats revealing just how much her answer mattered to me. I couldn’t mess this up again. I couldn’t lose her.
She looked uncertain at the moment, bringing her thumb to her mouth to pick at it. She used to do that a lot during the first year of our relationship, and she told me it was her way of dealing with anxiety.
Crossing the steps that separated us, I took her hands into mine and cast her a soft smile. “There is no reason for you to be nervous. I won’t hurt you.”
The monster in me laughed at this, telling me I was wrong. Telling me I would hurt her sooner or later, but I didn’t want to listen to him. I wouldn’t give in to him.
“Can you promise me that?” she asked me, tilting her head to the side as she observed me carefully. “Can you promise me we’ll be happy from now on?”
“Yes.” A lie, the monster claimed. He told me I was blatantly lying, and acid rushed through me, stirring me from the inside out. Too quickly to comprehend, anger overwhelmed me, and I started shaking. “Everything will be alright,” I said in an even tone of voice, hiding the rising struggle in me.
“Alright. I’ll come back to you.”
I smiled at her, but I couldn’t be fully happy, my monster reminding me I would snap at her any moment. Ignoring it the best I could, I pulled her toward me and kissed her, hoping for her kiss to clear the darkness that spread through my mind.
“You’re a killer!” someone shouted from beside us, and I whipped my head to look at him. He was one of many people I killed on the battlefield, wearing the enemy uniform.
Horror surged in me, my world shattering into pieces quickly. No, it couldn’t be.
“What are you doing here?!” I shouted at him, gripping Emma’s arms too hard.
He smiled—a cruel, twisted smile. “You killed me, murderer. You’re a monster. You deserve the worst!”
The monster in me was getting louder and louder, painting my vision red, and I couldn’t hold in my anger anymore.
I let go of Emma and stepped toward him, ready to give him hell. He was just standing there, gloating.
“Noah, no! Don’t do it!” Emma grabbed my arm, trying to separate me from him. I glanced at her, noticing the bruises forming on her upper arms after my steely grip, but I was way past the caring point.
“I have to!” I screamed at her, driven up the wall.
“Noah, don’t—”
I pushed her away, beside myself with rage and approached the enemy soldier, who hadn’t moved an inch from his place. With a roar, I swung my fist at him, but Emma stepped in between us, and my fist ended on her face, cracking her lip open.
The moment I did that I realized my mistake, and a stabbing pain spread through me, the monster in me laughing and laughing…
“No! Emma!”
I woke up with a gasp, the cold sweat sliding down my temples. I sat up and looked at Emma, terrified that I had hurt her badly. A wave of worry washed over me, an unbearable pain claiming me. It was a nightmare, but it felt so real, reminding me of the reason why I had to keep distance from her. She was sleeping soundly, unaware of the danger that was right next to her.
I closed my eyes and ran my hand over my face, trembling. I could never, ever allow something like that to happen. If I hurt her… I didn’t know what I would do.
I couldn’t believe I’d let myself fall into that old fantasy and think things could be better between us. I wanted nothing more than to be with her and protect her, but I couldn’t hurt her. It was the same reason why I ignored her letters in the army. I was dangerous and I never wanted her to be involved with me if I could hurt her.
I was such a fool. I couldn’t stay next to her any longer. She was better off without me.
The hot tears spilled out, and I needed a few moments to gather the strength I needed to move away from her. As hard as it was for me, I needed to leave. This was the only way I could keep her safe. Away from me.
I got up from the bed, careful not to wake her up, and went to put on my clothes. I didn’t allow myself to think about the pain that was getting stronger with each second that I was closer to leaving her. I wasn’t going to be selfish. I’d been selfish enough this night.
Without saying a word to her, I left her place and out into the chilly night.