Chapter 14
Serena
It was the last day of school and I couldn’t have been happier for it. My body physically hurt trying to push through my days. My parents tried to convince me to take some time off. To let a substitute teacher, handle the last couple weeks of school. But I couldn’t leave my kids like that. They were my only shining light in the darkness I felt spreading over my limbs. It hurt to get out of bed and it hurt to eat. It hurt to walk and it hurt to smile. I wished someone else knew about what was going on. I wished there was someone else to talk with besides my parents. Every time it came up my father started a verbal rampage and my mother would take to trying to calm him down.
It was never about me, or the pain I was experiencing.
I had no idea how I could fall for a man like Enzo. But I knew I had. Something like this wouldn’t hurt as much as it did had I not fallen for him. I was an idiot. A grade-A idiot to think something like an arranged marriage would change a man like Enzo. I’d heard horror stories from the girls about playboys who smiled at them in bed before leaving and hopping right into another woman’s bed. I’d heard stories from my friends about men trying to pull the wool over their eyes and lead double lives and all sorts of crazy stuff.
But I never thought my parents would try to hand me over to a man like that. I never thought their judge of character would be so off.
I waved my kids off as the busses pulled out of the parking lot. It was officially summer break and everyone was racing to get out of the school. People were slamming into my shoulder with all of their things in their arms, ready to get back to the lives they had ahead of them for the seven weeks we had off.
But all I did was sit at my desk.
I stared at the wall, feeling my body sink into the chair beneath my legs. What was I going to do now? Stare at a wall for the entire summer? I was supposed to be planning a wedding. I was supposed to come back to school a married woman. I was supposed to be leading a different life than this. A life where I was going on dates and taking weekend vacations and getting to know the man who would help me father my children.
But instead, I was allowing silent tears to slip down my cheeks in the middle of a darkened, empty classroom.
“Knock knock!”
Whipping my head over to the door, I saw Jamie come in. She was holding two massive milkshakes and a smile on her face until she saw the tears streaming down my cheeks. She pulled up a chair from the corner and handed me a drink, then she reached out and smoothed the tears off my skin.
“It’s time to talk,” Jamie said.
“You’re going to think I’m insane,” I said.
“Try me.”
“You know how my parents are old-school Italian, right?”
“Very, yes.”
“The set me up with a man to marry a couple of weeks ago,” I said.
“What? You’re getting married to some guy you don’t even know?”
“That’s not even the worst of it. And no, I’m not getting married anymore.”
“He was a dick, wasn’t he?” she asked.
“When they told me they had found a suitable husband, I was actually excited. Arranged marriages, once you accept them, sort of make a love life easier to navigate. I can go out and have fun without trying to get attached or anything because I know my parents have my best interest at heart eventually.”
“That’s fucking weird, but we’ll go with it. Sure.”
“I went out that night to have one last night of fun, and found this very handsome man. And I broke one of my rules.”
“Shit. What rule?” she asked.
“I went back to his place.”
“Well, it’s not the worst rule to break. Was he any good? Oh shit, you fell in love with the guy, didn’t you?”
“He was wonderful. Rocked my world, Jamie. But he was rude as hell the next morning.”
“You stayed over with him?” she asked. “That’s the worst rule to break!”
“I know. I know. And he was rude, but in a rich way. Wasn’t in bed when I got up, but he’d somehow bought me new panties? And laundered my clothes?”
“I think that would make sense with more context, but I won’t derail you,” she said.
“Anyway, he said I had time to get up and get out the door as long as I was gone by the time he got back, or something like that.”
“What did you expect him to do? Keep you there forever?” she asked.
“Jamie, I don’t know. All I know is I went to visit my future husband that afternoon after having one last night of my choosing and he was standing there.”
“Who?”
“The guy I went home with from the club.”
I watched Jamie’s jaw drop to the floor as her eyes lit up with shock.
“Holy shit. Are you serious?” she asked.
“Yep. And I wanted nothing to do with him and that pompous attitude of his. But he sort of grew on me. Then, that night at the club happened.”
“You’re gonna have to specify,” she said.
“The night where I left early? Where I told you I thought I saw someone but I didn’t?”
“Wait, he was there that night?”
“Yeah, with his arms around another woman.”
Jamie’s shock morphed into anger before settling on pity. She put her milkshake down and wrapped me in her arms and I began to cry into her neck. In the middle of my kid’s darkened classroom with summer looming outside my window, my shoulders shook with earth-shattering sobs.
“Ssshhh… it’s gonna be okay, Rena.”
“How was I so stupid?” I asked.
“Not stupid. Hopeful. Despite your encounter with him and how it rubbed you the wrong way, you were hopeful.”
“All I asked of him was to stay faithful to me. I didn’t care about anything else. I just couldn’t take him being unfaithful while expecting that same thing from me.”
“He had a hell of a good deal, then. He doesn’t know the kind of woman he’s passed up,” she said.
“It shouldn’t hurt this badly. I’ve only known him for a month. Maybe.”
“Sometimes hope getting broken hurts more than a heart getting broken,” she said. “The heart can be mended, but to have hope again takes trust. And he broke that trust.”
“I’m such an idiot.”
“You’re not an idiot. But you have been dealing with this on your own for way too long. So here’s what we’re going to do. I’m going to call Charlie and Amanda and we’re going to go out tonight.”
“I don’t wanna go out,” I said.
“Tough. You don’t have a choice. Your life is a hot mess, so we’re all gonna get dressed up and go get some dinner out. Then we’re going to go get a drink in our hands, swivel our hips, and find you someone to help you forget about this guy.”
“The last thing I want is another dick to take care of,” I said flatly.
“Then we’ll have a girl’s night out. Dress up, dinner, drinks, and dancing. The four ‘D’’s that have never failed us.”
I giggled and shook my head as I pulled away from her grasp.
“Fine,” I said. “But only tonight.”
“What? You got some plans for the next few weeks or something?”
“No. But… I figured getting out of town for a little bit might help. I’m going to take some money from my savings account and go somewhere for a little while.”
“You talked that over with those overprotective parents of yours?” Jamie asked.
“They’ll be fine. I need that. To get away from all of this stuff and take some time for myself.”
“Fine. But you’re going to call me everyday while you’re on that trip. And send lots of pictures. Hell, if I can get the time off work, I might just come with you. We could make it a girl’s trip and stay in all the nicer hotels.”
“I don’t have money for the nicer hotels.”
“You know damn good and well your father isn’t gonna let you stay in some shabby hotels while you travel the country or whatever it is you’re gonna do,” she said.
“True, but that doesn’t mean I won’t fight him on it. And I wouldn’t turn down that kind of company if you can get the time off,” I said with a grin.
“Good. Then it’s settled. I’ll talk to my boss and see what I can finagle at the firm. In the meantime, let’s get you home so you can clean up. You can pack up some things and come stay at my place for the night. That way, if you find yourself a man they aren’t questioning things and if you break down and have a sobfest they won’t see it.”
“What would I do without you?” I asked.
“Die alone and cold without anyone to love you,” she said.
“That’s morbid, and not true at all. But I love you, so I’ll go with it.”
“You’ve always been the best friend I never deserved, Rena. I’m sorry you’re going through all this. But in your defense, your life has always been the greatest story never told.”
“Preaching to the choir, Jamie. Preaching to it.”
“So, you ready to suck down these milkshakes and go back your bags?” she asked.
“Sounds good to me,” I said. “Lead the way.”