Chapter 10
Kennedy
I had an hour for lunch the next day and I met Ava at a nearby cafe. She was sipping on her green tea, while I ate a ham and cheese sandwich. I could sense her watching me closely. We had known each other long enough for her to know that there was something going on.
I wanted to tell her. I knew I needed to tell her. Ava was my closest friend, and I had no idea why I’d been keeping it a secret in the first place.
For some reason, it felt unreal to me. Like I hadn’t just bumped into Nico Rossi out of the blue. Like if I told Ava, then the spell would be broken. I’d be back to reality and realize that I hadn’t been sleeping with Nico.
“So, are you going to tell me about your hot date?” Ava asked. I finished chewing the sandwich and then shrugged my shoulders. It was no big deal. I was just an adult making adult decisions involving another adult man.
“It was good. It was great. He took me to this fancy restaurant, Luigi’s,” I told her. Ava narrowed her eyes at me, making me nervous. “You heard of it?”
She tilted her head to one side, the way she always did when she was trying to catch me out.
“Yes, everyone’s heard of Luigi’s. I’m not really interested in what food you had, Kenni. I’m asking you a very specific question.”
I met Ava’s eyes defiantly. How long was I going to keep this up?
I’d already promised myself that I would tell her the truth if I slept with Nico again. Now however, it seemed like a bad idea. I had a feeling that Ava would talk me out of it.
“What question is that?” I asked her.
“How did the date go? What did you do? You’re blushing like a tomato so I know that something happened,” Ava replied. She’d put down her cup of tea and was now glaring at me. She wanted answers. I’d never shut her off from my life like this.
“It went well, I just told you. We had dinner…and then he took me back to his place,” I revealed.
Just a little peek. I’m not going to tell her too much.
She widened her eyes with surprise, then bit down on her lip.
“You went to his place? Where does he live? Something tells me that the sex is good?” she was smiling now, glad that I was opening up to her about it a little bit.
“It’s awesome!” I couldn’t control myself. I needed to tell somebody how great Nico was in bed. “He’s like…I don’t know how to describe it. It’s like he knows exactly what to do to make me feel amazing. I come in minutes. It’s never happened to me before,” I was gushing like a schoolgirl now and Ava was smiling.
She leaned in closer to me over the table.
“Is he…like, big? Is that it?” she asked and I couldn’t nod my head wildly enough.
“He’s huge…but that’s not the only thing. He’s an expert…his body is…he’s just so fucking hot!” I couldn’t keep my voice down or hide the excitement, as much as I tried.
Ava and I giggled and then she bit down on her lip.
“So, you think you’re going to see him again? Has he said anything?” she asked.
I looked down at my plate, considering picking up my sandwich again to avoid the question. This was the hard part. I didn’t want to have to do this—to explain our situation to Ava.
“No, he didn’t mention another date, but yes, we’ll be seeing each other again,” I admitted. Ava clapped her hands.
“Oh my God, Kenni! This is so exciting. You are confident that you’ll see him again! Does this mean that you guys are…heading towards something?”
I avoided Ava’s eyes. I didn’t want to answer that question. But I could sense from the look on my face, she knew the answer to that already.
“No, we’re not. We’ve decided to keep it light and hot,” I replied.
There were a few moments of silence between us, while Ava studied my face.
“Light and hot? Like a casual relationship?”
I nodded my head and smiled weakly at her. This shouldn’t have been too surprising. It wasn’t like I hadn’t been involved in casual relationships before. It was different this time though, it was Nico! And I knew Ava could see it on my face. She knew I was worried.
“You mean he’s decided it for you?” she asked. I shook my head, still trying to put up a fight.
“No, we both decided. I mean, yes, he suggested it but it was my decision,” I told her.
“You mean if you decided you didn’t want that, he would never call you again? So, you agreed to it because you want to keep seeing him?” Ava continued. I didn’t want to admit it to her. That made me sound weak and desperate. I wished the truth was that I didn’t care about where our relationship was headed, just as much as Nico didn’t.
I said nothing. I couldn’t lie to my best friend any longer. I just stared down at my plate, feeling guilty and self-conscious like I’d done something wrong.
“Kenni, who is this guy? Why are you doing this to yourself? You’re going to end up hurt and alone at the end of this!” Ava sounded concerned and of course, she had every reason to be.
I looked up at her with a sullen face. Admitting the truth was going to open up a whole new can of worms.
“It’s Nico Rossi, from high school,” I said, meekly.
Ava sat back in her seat like someone had pushed her. She was staring at me in disbelief and I had nowhere to look. Nowhere to hide from the truth.
***
“He kissed you at that party?” Ava had her mouth covered with her hands. I had no choice but to tell her everything. When I nodded my head, she breathed in deeply.
“Why didn’t you tell me before, Kenni? You kept it a secret for so long!”
I shrugged my shoulders, looking sheepishly down at my lap.
“I didn’t think anyone would believe me, and then he disappeared. I never heard from him again. What was the point of telling anyone?”
Ava sat back in her chair. My sandwich and her tea had gone cold. Neither of us were interested in our food.
“And now, you just happened to bump into him at the bar?” Ava was still in disbelief.
“He recognized me! I was surprised he did. He even remembered my name!” I cried and Ava rolled her eyes.
“What? What is it?” I snapped at her. I knew she wouldn’t be pleased to hear all this, but at least she could try. For two seconds!
“Kenni…” she began to say.
“You don’t believe me? You don’t think a girl like me deserves the attention of a guy like Nico?” I raged at her. My guilt and worry were turning into anger and I couldn’t help it.
“That is not what I was going to say. Of course, I believe you!” she snapped.
I slumped back in my chair and looked around the cafe. All this was a bad idea. I wished I hadn’t gone up to Nico and spoken to him at the bar. My life would have been a whole lot simpler right now.
“It’s just that…Nico didn’t simply disappear,” Ava continued and I crossed my brows at her.
“I know. He told me! He had to look after his sick granddad,” I snapped. Ava stared at me confusedly.
“Granddad?” she asked and I glared back at her. Ava shook her head.
“Look, Kenni, I don’t know what he told you…”
“Oh, so now he’s the one lying!”
“Kenni!” Ava squealed. Loud enough for people at other tables to turn to look at us. “I need you to listen to me!” she hissed in a lower voice.
“Okay, I’m listening, Ava. Tell me what you have to say,” I rolled my eyes in displeasure.
“Nico Rossi is…I don’t know how to explain this to you. Let’s just say that our families know each other,” she said. She was staring at me, searching my eyes to see if I got what she was saying.
Initially, I did not. Then I started thinking about all the questions I had about Ava’s family. We had been best friends, and I knew her family casually…however, I had always wondered what her family actually did. Ava never talked about it and I got the sense that it was something that I shouldn’t know about.
Her family was Italian, they lived in a grand house and Ava never wanted for anything. Whatever her parents did, they lived a comfortable lifestyle. And I also sensed that whatever they did, it wasn’t a regular job either. The Italian mafia; were words that had floated in my head often. Neither Ava, nor I had ever spelled it out.
How did it matter to me? Ava was my best friend, and what her family was involved in had nothing to do with our friendship.
“What are you saying to me, Ava?” I asked and she looked away from me.
“Kenni, that is not something I can discuss with you. I don’t know the details myself,” Ava replied. She knew that we were both on the same page now. She was essentially telling me what I’d always predicted about her family.
When I said nothing, Ava shifted her chair closer to me.
“My point is, Kenni, that the Rossi family is involved in the same things that my family is. Do you understand?” Ava was talking in whispers. I stared at her, feeling my heart racing in my chest. I understood what she was saying, but I refused to believe it.
“That’s not what Nico is involved in,” I snapped and looked away from her.
“Kenni, why won’t you believe me?” Ava’s voice had turned into a hiss now, but I refused to meet her eyes again.
“I would have known, I would have got some clue,” I argued.
The truth was that there were several clues. It explained Nico’s bad mood, why he didn’t want to discuss work, why he didn’t want an actual relationship. It explained everything. But I wasn’t going to admit it to Ava.
If I did, she would convince me that sleeping with Nico was a bad and dangerous idea.
I knew it already. I didn’t need her to tell me that.
“Kenni…” Ava’s voice had become a soft worried whisper again. She clutched my hand and squeezed it tightly. “I don’t want that guy to get you involved in things that you won’t be able to handle. You’re not a part of the circle. You have no protection from it. You have no idea what kind of things these people are involved in,” Ava continued.
I jerked my head around to look at her.
“You mean your people?” I snapped. Ava’s cheeks lost their color. She didn’t know what to say to that.
“I’ll be late for work. Enjoy your green tea,” I said, yanking my hand away from her and jumping out of my chair.
“Kenni!” I heard Ava call after me as I left the cafe.
I didn’t want to think about the consequences yet. I was having a good time with Nico. He made me feel good. He made me feel beautiful. he was making my teenage fantasy come true and I wasn’t about to give it up yet.
I rushed back to work, with Nico on my mind. Ava’s words were pushed back. She didn’t know what she was talking about! She wasn’t there when Nico looked at me. She didn’t know how he made me feel.