Chapter 5
Emma
I flinched, realizing I had tears on my cheeks. I wiped them off my face, pushing the thoughts of that time in Noah’s room to the far away corner of my mind, and stood up, sick of my pity party. Why was I doing this to myself? Noah was in the past, but here I was—reminiscing about him and how he’d made me the happiest girl alive.
The tears, however, were stubborn, falling down my cheeks, despite me giving my best to suppress them. I shook my head and went into my bathroom, ignoring the persistent ache in my chest. I had spent enough tears on Noah. He didn’t deserve any more, especially since I was sure he wasn’t thinking about me at all. I was sure I hadn’t crossed his mind in years.
Washing my face did the trick, and the tears had stopped at last. I needed to get out of my house and have some fun. It was only 10pm, and I knew I wasn’t going to be able to fall asleep that easily, not with the thoughts of Noah haunting me.
I returned to the living room and snatched my phone from the place on the couch where I’d left it before.
My best friend, Clarissa, answered after the second ring.
“Hey, girl.”
“Hey, babes. I was thinking. We should call Demi and Melanie and go out to a bar. What do you think?”
“I’m in! I’ve been pretty bored all by myself here.”
I giggled. “So that must mean that the last night’s date didn’t go well.”
She let out a long sigh. “Surprise, surprise. We ended up at my place, but the sex… Oh God, the sex…” She groaned.
“What?” I asked with laughter.
“It was horrible! His dick is so small, and he seriously needs to be taught some things… Ugh. It was a waste of my time.”
I couldn’t stop laughing. “Well, this night might be a good opportunity for you to get your hands on someone new.”
She sighed again. “I can only hope. That guy was just another disaster after many disasters this month.”
“Tell me about it. I just returned home from a terrible date.”
“You did? You didn’t tell me anything about it!”
“Well, it kinda came out of the blue. Like one moment we were texting each other, and the next we went out to dinner.”
“And why was it terrible?”
“Because the douchebag just wanted to use me for sex and that’s it. I don’t need flings. I need the real deal.”
“I get what you’re saying, girl. I don’t know what’s going on, but we’re really unlucky in the guys department. Like, I’m trying a dozen of dating apps, but it’s getting worse. Where are all those perfect men? Hidden in caves?”
“I don’t think they actually exist.” Once upon a time, I was convinced they existed. Noah was my perfect guy. Until he was not.
“I guess only time will tell. Anyway, maybe tonight will be your lucky night too.”
I didn’t think so, but it didn’t matter. All I wanted was to get out of my house and relax.
“If you say so. Okay, so I’ll call Melanie, and you call Demi,” I told her.
“Alrighty.”
We agreed where and when to meet, and then I called Melanie. Melanie was the only one of us four who was currently dating, and Clarissa, Demi, and I envied her. Her relationship reminded me of my relationship with Noah because they loved each other so much and were most likely going to spend the rest of their lives together.
No, scratch that. My relationship with Noah wasn’t like that because Noah obviously hadn’t loved me the way Melanie’s boyfriend loved her. If Noah had truly loved me, he would have never left me. He would have fought for our relationship, instead of ignoring my letters and giving up on us without a word.
I should put a stop to my bitterness before it got the best of me. This way, I was going to ruin yet another night, and I’d had enough depression to last me a lifetime.
Melanie agreed to go out with us too, and soon Clarissa texted me and said Demi was in too.
As I rushed to my bedroom to get ready, Noah popped up in my mind once more, and I groaned. Let him go, Emma. Stop thinking about him.
I opened my closet and looked over the loads of dresses I owned. There, in the corner, was a red mini cocktail dress that I held dear but didn’t wear even once. I had bought it a long time ago, when I was still dating Noah, because he had told me he liked that kind of dress the most. However, I hadn’t gotten the chance to wear it for him since he left for the military and our relationship fell apart.
Dejected, I had ignored that dress for years, often thinking about destroying it or throwing it away, but somehow, I never could.
Now, something unexplainable pushed me to pick it up and try it on. Without further thinking, I put it on and stopped in front of the mirror, noticing that it fitted me way better now than when I tried it in the shop seven years ago. I actually had assets now that I could flaunt.
I had no idea why, but I decided to wear this dress tonight, feeling an unusual burst of anticipation in me. It made no sense. Just like thinking about Noah made no sense.
I was getting more and more frustrated that I couldn’t seem to let him go, growing anxious and fidgety. Maybe friends, booze, and music would help me eliminate Noah from my mind. They had to, because at this point, I was making things worse for myself, and I had enough of unhealthy relationships.
“Okay,” I said, looking at myself in the mirror. “Let’s see what this night will bring to me.”